The Morning After
Dec 15, 2019 9:50:57 GMT -6
Ruthless Aggression, Dominic Sanders, and 2 more like this
Post by Ibuki Ito on Dec 15, 2019 9:50:57 GMT -6
BEEP BEEP BEEP
And with a loud thud the beeping stopped, but next comes a loud moan, his head was killing him and his body felt as if it was hit by a car driven by an old lady that didn’t see that the light had turned red. He didn’t want to open his eyes, the lids hurt too much but he slowly did. Everything was a blur and not just because he didn’t have his glasses on.
What the hell happened last night Tommy thought to himself, he had run into The Austin City Angels and The Southern Express had flown in to celebrate him winning Wrestling Insiders Manager of the Year for 2019 but things got WAY out of hand. Tommy reaches out and grabs his glasses and puts them on and looks around
“Oh fuck, this is not my room!”
Where in the hell was he, the place was trashed, beer cans and vodka bottles littered the floor of the crappy ass motel room, taco bell wrappers where everywhere…
“Where the hell did we get Taco Bell in France?”
What the hell happened he thought to himself, he remembered watching Xavier Reid take on Stephanie Matsuda while having a few drinks with the boys and then Bobby Rose saying they needed to ‘tear this shit up old school style’ after Xavier spit the red mist into Stephanie’s face and unhook the X-Division Championship. He remembered Jimmy Lane screaming ‘THAT’S MY NEPHEW’ taking Xavier’s tweet about them all being his uncle’s literally and crying for his win and then he remembered taking a drink out of Dallas’s hip flask and then nothing…
The rest of the night was a blur, he didn’t even know how he got to this room, wherever the hell it was. He pulled back the covers and got out of bed, he looked at himself in the mirror and thought WTF, he was wearing a pink #KiltBros rock #Kiltmas t-shirt and then he remembered Bobby Rose wanting to start something with Cyrus and Kyle so they set out to find the #KiltBros but there was a mob around them, there fans made them to tasks to advance to the next level...stupid idiots…
There was drinking involved...lots of it but slowly over the course of the night they kept advancing to the next stage until…
“Houston Johnson…oh shit…”
Houston Johnson was Dallas Peters tag team partner, they started The Austin City Angels before we had to bring in San Antonio Baker when Dallas shattered his knee one night in Greenville, Houston saw that damn bear that Grizzly Duggan had been fighting...wait was it the same bear...anyways he saw the bear and decided he was going to show that bear who’s boss and got in the cage, Tommy saw his phone and grabbed it, there was a Google News Alert, Houston Johnson mauled to near death last night in Arles, France…
“Oh Shit!!!”
Tommy covered his mouth and thought what the hell happened, then he remembered it was Jimmy Lane that had beat him nude polaroids of Sexy Stacy Thomas he had from back in the day if he could last more than he did with Sexy Stacy Thomas, so 2 mins in that cage with the bear and well Houston always did love Stacy so he took the beat and…
So much blood as he looked down in the toilet, please dear lord tell him he wasn’t pissing blood again, nope...all yellow as he flushed the toilet and walked back into the room, pulling up his kilt to cover his ass, they had rushed poor Houston away to some French hospital and they continued on in their quest. San Antonio Baker was the next one to drop, well not so much drop as to meet the love of his life, she was a tall gal with a HUGE Adam’s App...fuck me Tommy thought, San Antonio did it again, mistaken some chick for a dude...well that was going to be an awkward morning again he thought but he laughed...so San Antonio…
But Dallas, Dallas was there right to the end with him, Bobby and Jimmy...that was until he doubled over in pain. He had been putting that Tasty Tommy Sauce on EVERYTHING that went into his mouth that night, that think, creamy, a little salty from what he had been told sauce that Tommy had made that night and he said he’s stomach felt like it was going to explode...I’m sure it wasn’t the sauce but all the damn wieners...hot dogs he’d been shoving into his mouth all night. He dropped to the ground and couldn’t go on...The Austin City Angels had met their demise in Arles, France at WrestleFest XVII…
But he had made it to wear Cyrus was, he was surrounded by all his fans and then…
“Damn it Bobby…”
Bobby Rose rushed him, I thought NO, you are one old man, you can’t take on Cyrus alone but he didn’t even swing on him, no that fucker was a closet Cyrus Black fan, he had him sign his shirt, his picture, he bought him drinks and Jimmy Lane was no better, turns out he had a crush on Queen Melody...those fuckers did a Face Turn right there in front of me, with my sworn enemy of all people…
I couldn’t take it, I couldn’t watch, I walked away in pain, I had lost my favorite tag team to Cyrus Black, I tried to drink away my sorrow but nothing helped. I wandered around those grounds until 3am and then I had enough, I was going to kill them all, I marched back to them, they were all sitting there, arm in arm, singing some #KiltBro song they made up on the fly and then…
Black...I couldn’t remember a damn thing, how did I get this t-shirt...this stupid ass pink t-shirt...he pulled it off and then he saw it, his stomach dropped and he felt sick, no...no...NOOOOOO!
That was a Cyrus Black tattoo on his arm, why the fuck was a Cyrus Black tattoo doing on his arm...he looked around, he heard something...there was someone in his bed...what the…
Tommy slowly walked over towards the bed when he stepped on something...gross he thought as he peeled off the condom from his foot, ok, he had had sex with someone last night but at least he was safe, that was a relief, he didn’t need anymore ‘Little Tommy’s’ running around, he couldn’t afford the ones that were already out there but as he reached the bed he saw something that made his heart skip a beat...on the floor there was a Just Married sign...no, he couldn't have...he wouldn’t have…
He looked down at the sign and saw Bobby’s writing, best wishes Tommy and then a note from Jimmy Lane, Hope this one makes to Happy Tommy, love Jimmy. God damn it, he had married some French bitch...god damn it, this was going to cost him money he didn’t have to get rid of her...her...Tommy puts his hands together and looks up at the ceiling
“God, it’s Tommy, I know I haven’t been what you might call...good, I’ve done some shitty things in life, I know but can you at least do me one solid man, please, for the love of...well YOU, make her pretty with a tight little ass and tits that pop, can you do me that one solid God and I promise, from this day forward I’ll live on the straight and narrow, I’ll turn my life around and do your work God, I’ll become someone you and the EWC can be proud of, just make her a 10 that likes to give head and will take it in the rear once a month when Aunt Flo comes a calling and I promise, you will see a new Tommy Love…amen…”
Tommy takes a deep breath and pulls back the covers and falls to the floor
“Dolores!!!!”
Jesus H Christ...he married Cyrus’ ex….Dolores The Donkey….
“CYRUSSSSSS!!!!!!”
TBC