Since 1997, President Mac and a collective of some of the most creative minds in the circuit have converged to form the EWC, a Wrestling promotion where your character will be given limitless opportunities to excel.
At EWC, we advocate creativity in an effort to make e-fedding as fun & realistic as possible.
The EWC works hard in a joint effort with it's members and staff to create the best storylines possible. Here, you can look forward to Monday Night Brawl, Friday Night Rampage, Paramount Wrestling, EWC PRIME, EWC NEXT GEN, EWC UNCHAINED and original pay-per-views from a group of talented people who want to provide an alternative to the norm. We are also the hosts of the Global Inter-Federation Tournament Legends of the Cage
We're happy to accept all walks of life into our community with no obligation to become a member of any of our Wrestling Rosters, so sign up today!
No restrictions, no limits, completely Extreme.
CURRENT FORUM TIME
EWC SCHEDULE
FEBRUARY 2024
4TH PRIME #116
7TH PARAMOUNT #39
12TH BRAWL #604
16TH RAMPAGE #522
18TH PRIME #117
21ST PARAMOUNT #40
26TH BRAWL #605
MARCH 2024
1ST RAMPAGE #523
3RD PRIME #118
6TH PARAMOUNT #41
11TH BRAWL #606
15TH RAMPAGE #524
17TH PRIME #119
20TH PARAMOUNT #42
25TH BRAWL #607
29TH RAMPAGE #525
31ST PRIME #120
APRIL 2024
3RD PARAMOUNT #43
4TH NEXT GEN #10
8TH BRAWL #608
12TH RAMPAGE #526
22ND [PPV] STRANGLEMANIA XIX
28TH PRIME #121
MAY 2024
1ST PARAMOUNT #44
2ND NEXT GEN #11
6TH BRAWL #609
10TH RAMPAGE #527
12TH PRIME #122
15TH PARAMOUNT #45
20TH BRAWL #610
24TH RAMPAGE #528
26TH [PPV] WORLD WIDE VI
29TH [PPV] UPRISING XXIV
JUNE 2024
3RD BRAWL #611
6TH NEXT GEN #12
7TH RAMPAGE #529
9TH PRIME #123
12TH PARAMOUNT #46
24TH [PPV] NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS XXI
JULY 2024
1ST BRAWL #612
4TH NEXT GEN #13
5TH RAMPAGE #530
7TH PRIME #124
10TH PARAMOUNT #47
15TH BRAWL #613
19TH RAMPAGE #531
21ST PRIME #125
24TH PARAMOUNT #48
29TH [PPV] HARDCORE REVOLUTION 2024
AUGUST 2024
1ST NEXT GEN #14
2ND [PPV] UNCENSORED 2024
4TH PRIME #126
7TH PARAMOUNT #49
12TH BRAWL #614
16TH RAMPAGE #532
18TH PRIME #127
21ST PARAMOUNT #50
26TH [PPV] PARABELLUM 2024
SEPTEMBER 2024
1ST PRIME #128
4TH PARAMOUNT #51
5TH NEXTGEN #15 FINALE
9TH BRAWL #615
13TH RAMPAGE #533
15TH PRIME #129
18TH PARAMOUNT #52
23RD BRAWL #616
27TH RAMPAGE #534
30TH [PPV] YOUNGBLOOD VI
OCTOBER 2024
7TH BRAWL #617
13TH PRIME #130
16TH PARAMOUNT #53
18TH RAMPAGE #535
28TH [PPV] EWC RUMBLE XXI
NOVEMBER 2024
4TH BRAWL #618
8TH RAMPAGE #536
10TH PRIME #131
13TH PARAMOUNT #54
18TH BRAWL #619 FINALE
22ND RAMPAGE #537 FINALE
24TH PRIME #132 FINALE
27TH PARAMOUNT #55 FINALE
DECEMBER 2024
13TH-16TH [PPV] WRESTLEFEST XXII
EWC Network
EWCTV
EWC STAFF
EWC CEO, FOUNDER & PRESIDENT
@admin
EWC VICE PRESIDENTS
@fnr | @fsw
EWC COMMISSIONER
@mnb
MNB SHOWRUNNER
@mnb
FN'R SHOWRUNNER
@fnr
PARAMOUNT SHOWRUNNER
@fsw
PRIME SHOWRUNNER
@prime
NEXTGEN SHOWRUNNER
@nextgen
MNB ON-AIR STAFF
GENERAL MANAGER
Jim Connors
ASSISTANT GM
Timothy Kahrs
PLAY BY PLAY
Joe Aiello
COLOR
Steve Bennett
ANNOUNCER
Jessica Stroup
INTERVIEWER
Bob Murray
SENIOR REF
Paul Turner
REFEREE
Josh Daniels
FN'R ON-AIR STAFF
GENERAL MANAGER
Grizzly Duggan
ASSISTANT TO THE GM
Carlos Ruiz
PLAY BY PLAY
Koala Duggan
COLOR
Polar Duggan
ANNOUNCER
Emmanuelle Chriqui
INTERVIEWER
Brian Spade and Candice Tweed
SENIOR REFEREE
Toyo Yasahiro
REFEREE
Mike Michaelson
REFEREE
Pierce Patterson
PARAMOUNT ON-AIR STAFF
GENERAL MANAGER
Chris Brock
PLAY BY PLAY
Tim Watson
COLOR
Cid Sydney
ANNOUNCER
Isabella Starr
INTERVIEWER
Lisa Goldrush
REFEREE
Matt Mercer
REFEREE
Jesse Lizarraga
PRIME ON-AIR STAFF
GENERAL MANAGER
Jordan Sharpe
EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT TO THE GM
Faith Rivers
PLAY BY PLAY
Eric Mason
COLOR
John Livingston
ANNOUNCER
Damon Reid
INTERVIEWER
Joe Danes
SENIOR REFEREE
Niklaus Forbes
REFEREE
Stefan Elliot
REFEREE
Jessika Smalls
PPV ON-AIR Staff
PLAY BY PLAY
Marcus Woo
COLOR
Valentina Gomez
ANNOUNCER
Nina Dobrev
INTERVIEWER
Ace Heart & Pepper Montana
SENIOR REFEREE
Toyo Yasahiro
REFEREE 1
John Dean
REFEREE 2
Niklaus Forbes
SUPPORT US
If you’d like to contribute to the running costs of the EWC please send a donation to: paypal.me/ewc4life Please remember, this is a gift from you to the EWC and isn’t based on any service, business or is required of you
Post by President Mac on Mar 2, 2008 23:08:13 GMT -6
From 11:15PM CST on the 2ND of the month of MARCH till 11:59PM on the LAST day of MARCHany wrestler may attempt to dethrone THE CHAMPION of the title. The person left with the title at 11:59PM (on the last day of the month) will be the new champion for THAT month and may CLAIM the title in there title histories
If YOU are left as the CHAMPION at the end of the month (or hold onto the title for more then 24hours), you are able to CLAIM yourself as a TRUE COMBAT champion! At the start of every month a NEW posting will be made and the BELT will be up for grabs!
NO OOC COMMENTS ARE ALLOWED AT ALL YOU MUST POST DESCRIPTIVE TITLE CHANGES...not just "Bob covers for the pin...1...2...3...new champ
Try to be creative and MUST BE REALISTIC. You CANNOT kill a wrestler or USE him in a way that would HURT is persona. Try to add to the story...how you beat him and where you go next.
ADD *TBC* at the end of every post if you can remember to do so
Have fun!!!!
----------------
President Mac stands in the middle of the ring in the empty MTS Centre in Winnipeg Manitoba where every combat title begins it's new reign!
Mac has the belt raised high above the ring and then walks out as the scene fades to black
Post by Esther Aqsa Rose on Mar 2, 2008 23:19:42 GMT -6
The title shines quite nicely high above the ring, as Amy Rosen strolls casually down to the ring.
"Where the hell am I?" She suddenly asks "Ooo a title."
She looks for a ladder for a few moments, but then realizes all the work that would actually go into such an exercise, would be quite awful. And Amy is far to lazy for that to happen. Finally, she pulls a small remote control from her pocket, and presses a button. A robotic spider climbs down from the ceiling, cutting the title loose, causing it to fall into the arms of Dr. Amy Ester Rosen.
"Awesome" She says as she repockets the remote control and wanders off into the empty stands.
(Out of nowhere, the now un-retired maddog, smacks her straight in the head with a chair. He hoooks her leg, as his handy Combat Title midget refferee jumps out from under one of the fans skirts. He slides in, counting the pin.)
1,2,3!
(Maddog grabs the belt and carries his midget buddy away on his back, only turning around to leave the midget with Amy, who wishes to take advantage of an unconsious woman...)
the inhabitants of this earth are of two sorts. those with brains, but no religion those with religion, but no brains
Post by Esther Aqsa Rose on Mar 3, 2008 0:19:35 GMT -6
Before the midget can get the first hand on Amy, the metallic Spider goes into defense mode, drops down from the ceiling and grabs him. Amy wakes up moments later. shakes her head, looks at the midget being wrapped up in the spider's thread, shrugs her shoulders and walks off. Outside, she comes face to face with Maddog.
"Dude," she says "So not cool!"
"Hey!" Maddog shouts back "I wanted the title."
"To hell with the chair!" Amy shouts kicking Maddog in the shin. Maddog hops up and down on one leg as Amy takes the title out of his hands, and kicks it into his face. She grabs a random passerby and tells her "count that shit!" as she pins Maddog. The woman looks confused, before Amy tells her "Slap the sidewalk three times"
The woman does as she's told.
ONE
TWO
THREE
Amy nods her thanks, and begins to walk down the street away from the mess behind her. After a couple of blocks she comes across the cities first object of interest: well... nothing. There's not much around. Amy sighs, and hails a cab, asking to be taken to a place that is actually quasi-interesting.
Post by Marcus Moore on Mar 3, 2008 1:15:13 GMT -6
The cab driver replies, "I know just the place."
The cab driver pulls up to the nearest DMV and gets out the car.
Amy: Are you kidding me?
The cab driver opens the door like a true gentleman as Amy steps out of the car. She looks at him and hands him a few bucks, before doign a double take realizing who has been driving her. Marcus Moore punches Amy in the face, and then pulls her head into a flying knee. She falls down to the ground clutching her beautiful nose.
Businessman: Hey, can you give me a ride?
MM: Can you count to three?
Marcus pins Amy.
Businessman: 1.....2.....3!
Marcus Moore: Thanks, and the answer is no.
Marcus takes the title and drives the cab to the airport where he takes a plane flight to...
*1/2 of Wrestlings Most Important Force the Culture Curanderos!*
Post by Hurricane Jeff on Mar 3, 2008 17:43:38 GMT -6
Canada.
Marcus lands at the Toronto Air Port. Marcus walks around the air port with the title and out of no where, Marcus gets run over by a go cart. The go cart stops as Hurricane Jeff and the midget step out of it. Marcus gets up and HJ hits the Eye of the Hurricane on Marcus and covers him and the midget counts.
1...2...3.
HJ grabs the belt. He and the midget jump back in the go cart and drive off
EwC Accomplishments Current Combat Champ (4x) (First person to successfully retain the title and also won the title once as Max Carter) Former Undisputed Champ Former International Champ EWC Hall of Famer
Post by Esther Aqsa Rose on Mar 3, 2008 20:41:13 GMT -6
They drive through the hallways of the airport before hitting a giant pothole that flips the go cart over, sending them flying through the air, and crashing onto the floor. Hurricane Jeff crashes directly at the feet of Amy Rosen.
"Oh hello Jeff," Amy says to him, "How are you tonight?"
Before giving him the chance to answer she grabs him by the head, pulls him up to his knees, and hits him with Eureka! before making the cover.
ONE
TWO
THREE
Amy takes the title from him and runs over to the transportation belt, and stamps her feet impatiently behind a much slower traveler.
Amy starts to become increasingly annoyed by the slow traveller in front of her. She may be a criminal genius, but even she has to deal with slowcoaches.
Amy: Hey, come on, I'm in a hurry!
Crazyman: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't notice you-
Crazyman and Amy stare at each other in silence. Crazyman spots the title over her shoulder. Amy spins around and starts running back up the transportation belt, only to find herself blocked by a 350 pound woman in a floral pattern moo moo.
Amy: Get out of my way, you elephant!
Fat Chick: Asshole!
The fat chick levels Amy with a hard right. Crazyman jumps on top of Amy with a splash. The fat chick makes the count!
1... 2... 3!!
Crazyman lifts up the belt.
Crazyman: Yo, fat lady! Sit on this chick!
Fat Chick: Gladly!
Crazyman rushes back down the transportation belt as Amy's ribcage is slowly crushed.
*TBC*
Sig by Maddog
Two Time Television Champion
Current United States Champion
Singles: 22-9-1 Tags: 8-6-0
Post by Esther Aqsa Rose on Mar 4, 2008 18:55:29 GMT -6
Amy lays on her back slowly getting crushed.
"Oh no!" she cries, "If only I had a way to get out of this!" Amy then starts giggling loudly, "oh, wait, I TOTALLY have a way! Hey, you! Did you realize that the food court is the other way?"
"Is it really?" the fat woman says "Well I need to go so..."
She hops off Amy and starts moving in the opposite direction. Amy sits up before falling back over at the end of the belt. She stands back up, and rushes after Crazyman. She leaps onto a go cart, speeding through the halls, before she spots him. She jumps off the cart as it passes him, and tackles him to the ground.
"21 hours," she says "21 fucking hours I held that thing, and you gonna pull that on me?"
"Tough break," Crazyman tells her, taking a swing, which Amy ducks under, coming back with a spinning heel kick that knocks him to the floor.
"Not just that," Amy comes back with, "And you had a fat chick touch me. I hate fat girls, Amy only goes for hotties."
Crazyman leaps back up, "Fat chicks need love too"
"Then you fuck her!" Amy shouts kicking Crazyman low, slamming his head into a vending machine, and stomping his head into the side of it. Amy grabs a random passerby, "count it!" she shouts as she covers Crazyman.
ONE
TWO
THREE
Amy gets back to her feet, dusts herself off, and rushes for the airport exit.
As Amy makes her way out of the airport, she attempts to hail a cab. Several honking horns and rude curses at passing cars later, a Taxi pulls over and Amy crawls in.
"Downtown, please," she says, brushing the dust off of her clothes.
"I'm afraid that can't happen..." the cabbie says, hidden in the dark as he begins to pull forward.
"And why not?" Amy responds, frowning at the man.
"Because this is the end of the line..." the cabbie says before suddenly jamming on the breaks, causing Amy to fly forward and strike her head soundly against the glass separating the back seat from the front. With a crunch and the slow streaking of skin against glass, Amy slumps down in the back as the man in the front calmly puts the car into park. Then, exiting, he opens the passenger door, allowing Amy to fall onto the ground. With a predatory grin, Stray then puts a foot on the woman and shouts for a nearby person to count. A business commuter does so.
1. 2. 3.
Grabbing the title, Stray walks off, leaving Amy and the taxi at the side of the road as it begins to rain, washing away the pain.
Wins/Losses: 17-5-1 Streak: -1 (Undefeated in Tag Matches thus far)
Post by Esther Aqsa Rose on Mar 5, 2008 19:26:32 GMT -6
After a moment, Amy comes to. She sighs, grabs the commuter, tosses him into the back of the car, and gets behind the wheel. She searches the streets for the man who stole what was rightfully hers, and she finally spots him. She spins out the car, blocking Stray's path, and pokes her head out of the window.
"Do you mind?" she asks
Stray goes on the offensive, or tries to, but Amy swings the door open, striking Stray in the head. Amy leaps up onto the frame, and jumps off, taking down Stray with a flying reverse hurricaranna.
"COUNT!" She shouts to the man in the backseat.
"Again?" he asks
"YES!" Amy says as she makes the cover. The man sighs, but does so anyway.
ONE
TWO
THREE
"Yay!" Amy shouts as she takes the title back. She begins to go back into the car, but something else catches her ADD mind.
"Oooo tea," she says as she wanders off into a tea shop.
Post by Marcus Moore on Mar 6, 2008 2:38:31 GMT -6
Amy walks out of the tea shop and accidently Marcus Moore bumps into her.
MM: Pardon me, my lady.
Amy: You should be more careful, I almost spilled tea all over my new belt.
MM: That's a nice belt.
Amy: Thank you.
MM: ....
Amy: Yeah, so, see you later.
Amy begins to walk off but is pulled back as Marcus grabs her by the hair. He grabs the tea out of her hand and throws it into her face. She falls back and trips over a table. He covers her as a passerby makes the three count.
ONE TWO THREE!!!
Marcus thanks the passerby, throws a napkin on Amy, apologizes for the inconvenience, and walks into a Whole Foods.
*1/2 of Wrestlings Most Important Force the Culture Curanderos!*
Post by Na Fianna - Rorschach on Mar 6, 2008 18:42:06 GMT -6
Marcus spends a remarkably long period of time in Whole Foods, trying to decide on the best brown rice for his tikka masala that night. Having finally made his purchase, Marcus heads towards the exit, only to bump into Rorschach.
Hey, even psychotics care about their diet.
Marcus doesn't have long to react. He throws the bag of rice at Rorschach, to no effect - guess Marcus should have bought the extra value pack. He turns and hightails it back up the nearest aisle, but Rorschach grabs him and launches Marcus into a nearby Fair Trade coffee display. He covers Marcus and a helpful store assistant counts the pin.
1... 2... 3!
Rorschach picks up the belt, buys his groceries, and walks back out onto the street.
Post by Sedition: The Rev on Mar 7, 2008 12:16:34 GMT -6
Rorschach comes out with a bag of groceries in hand. He bumps into The Rev who's on his way into the store. The groceries spill all over the sidewalk as they collide. Rorschach bends over to pick up his groceries and Rev helps him.
REV: Sorry about that. Was just on my way in to pick up some hamburger helper. I like the beef stroganoff one myself, but each to his own....
Rev picks up a box of Tuna Helper and a can of tuna off the ground. Rorschach has gathered the rest of his groceries. Rev holds the tuna helper and can of tuna and contemplates something.
REV: Hmmmmm......... tuna helper huh?
Rorschach has his hand extended but Rev doesn't give it back. He kicks Rorschach in the gut and DDT's him down on the concrete. He covers Rorschach as a random passerby makes the count.
1......... 2......... 3!!!!!!!!!
REV: Yes! The tuna helper is mine!
Rev starts to walk away but notices the 24 Hour Combat Title on the ground nex to Rorschach.
REV: Hey, I remember that thing....
Rev grabs the title and heads home to make himself some delicious tuna helper.
T.B.C.
Champion, General Manager, sociopath. What will he do next?
Post by Esther Aqsa Rose on Mar 7, 2008 14:24:51 GMT -6
The Rev arrives at home, and opens a gigantic window to let some air in, before turning back to the kitchen to prepare the tuna. A gust of wind makes him turn back around to see Amy Rosen gliding through the window with a pink umbrella Mary Poppins style, and land on the floor.
"MARY POPPINS!?" Rev exclaims
"No Rev" Amy says, folding her umbrella ella ella ella eh eh eh, and stepping further into the kitchen "It is I, Dr. Amy Ester Rosen! You made my personal printer a shared device!"
"What?" Rev questions
"I don't know," Amy admits "Sounded good though. Oooo is that Tuna Helper?"
"Yeah," Rev says inviting his new house guest to some. They spend several minutes eating together before finishing, and needing to start with the title fight. "Well," Rev says standing up "This really isn't fair, you have that umbrella and I have nothing."
"Here," Amy says taking something out of her pocket and tossing it to him, "Use mine"
"Is this a..." Rev begins looking at it "A PHASER!? Where did you get a phaser?"
"HELLLO!" Amy rolls her eyes "Mad Scientist."
"Oh," Rev says "Right. Let's do this!"
Rev presses the button on the phaser as Amy unfolds her umbrella, blocking the phasers path, before rushing forward and knocking Rev into the wall, sandwiching him between it and the umbrella, before spinning him down and pinning him to the floor with her sitting inside the umbrella as a servant enters the room. "Quick!" Amy shouts "Count the three!"
"Um," the servant says "not gonna happen, thats my boss." Amy picks up the phaser and holds it on the servant, "Well when you put it like that." The servant gets down and makes the count.
ONE
TWO
THREE
Amy pops back up, taking the title back and walking towards the window, "have a nice night Rev!" she says with a wave, before gliding away on her umbrella ella ella ella eh eh eh, landing a couple of blocks away, in wait of her next misadventure.
Post by Hurricane Jeff on Mar 8, 2008 11:41:40 GMT -6
All of a sudden, A midget comes flying at Amy's head. Knocking Amy out. Hurricane Jeff then walks into the picture.
HJ: Who would have thought that throwing a midget at someone's head would be so effective.
HJ covers Amy and the midgets counts.
1....2....3.
HJ: Lets get out of here before the cops see me next to a knocked out women and they bring me to jail.
Jeff and the midget run off
tbc
EwC Accomplishments Current Combat Champ (4x) (First person to successfully retain the title and also won the title once as Max Carter) Former Undisputed Champ Former International Champ EWC Hall of Famer
Post by Christopher Wright on Mar 9, 2008 8:48:40 GMT -6
Christopher is riding along with a good friend, who happens to be the Chief of Police. They are driving along when they witness the end of the aftermath of Hurricane Jeff and his midget beating down Amy. As they were running away, the Chief followed after them, yelling over the megaphone to stop where they were. After not obliging after several attempts, the Chief stopped, stepped out of the cruiser, and pulled out a gun.
CW: What the hell are you doing??? There's no need to shoot them!!
Chief: Don't worry, Christopher. These only shoot bean bag pellets. Non-lethal.
CW: Alright.....I like this way of thinking.
The Chief aims at both Hurricane Jeff and his midget, and his his target perfectly, hitting both of them in the back of their knee, and falling to the ground. The Chief and Christopher run up to them and handcuff them both, having them lay on their backs. Christopher, thinking quickly, puts his foot on Hurricane Jeff's chest.
CW: Hey Chief, how many donuts have you had today?
Chief: Let's see....1....2....3!
CW: Thanks Chief.
As they throw Hurricane Jeff and his midget in another police cruiser, Christopher takes the title as he and the Chief get back in their car, and gets a police escort to an undisclosed location.
**TBC**
HCW Record: 4-3-1 Tag Record: 2-0-1 Last Match: def. Broadway Next Match: Rumble Match
Post by Hurricane Jeff on Mar 9, 2008 19:55:07 GMT -6
Chris exits the police car and out of no where, Hurricane Jeff shows up, shutting the car door on the leg of Chris as he was stepping out. Chris holds his leg as Hurricane Jeff gives him the Eye of the Hurricane on the pavement. The Midget shows up and Jeff picks up the midget and powerbombs the midget on Chris's chest. Jeff covers chris and the midget counts.
1....2...3.
Jeff throws Chris in the police car, shuts the door. The police car drives off as HJ tries to figure out where he is
EwC Accomplishments Current Combat Champ (4x) (First person to successfully retain the title and also won the title once as Max Carter) Former Undisputed Champ Former International Champ EWC Hall of Famer
Post by Marcus Moore on Mar 10, 2008 16:23:00 GMT -6
Marcus: I believe we are somewhere near your mothers house.
Jeff: What?
Marcus charges and spears HJ into a street light. HJ gets up and delivers an uppercut to Marcus Moore. Marcus stamers back but retalitates with a swift kick to Jeffs face. Jeff turns around and receives the Eye of the Hurricane.
School children pass by and when they see Marcus Moore covering EWC Legend Hurricane Jeff they cheer and make the count.
1....2....3!
Marcus Moore gets on a vespa scooter and drives off into the sunset with his new title.
*1/2 of Wrestlings Most Important Force the Culture Curanderos!*
*Level-One in the passenger seat, looks out the window and see's Marcus Moore on the scooter*
LO: What the hell is he doing driving that thing in the road?
Driver: No, Idea.
LO: How long have we been at this red light for?
Driver: 10 seconds.
LO: Think I have time?
Driver: 12 seconds
LO: Better go now!
*Level-One opens up the card door and aproaches Marcus Moore*
Driver: Green light!
*Level-One boots Mike Moore of the scooter and smashes his face into a nearby car window. Cars are beeping as Level-One makes the count, as a old lady on the side of the street wearing a jesse nunez t-shirt get's down and counts the pin-fall*
1...
2...
3!
NEW CHAMPION
Level-One grabs the title, and turns around. The driver drove off...fuck! Level-One runs across the street, as the old lady invites him over to her house for milk and cookies...he accepts.
Singles Record- 26-6-1-4 Tag Record- 10-3-0 Streak: 2+ Last Win- Amy Rosen Last Loss- Dr. Rosen & Crazyman
Current True Experts Champion 2x World Heavyweight Champion 1x 1/2 Tag Team Champion 1x Television champion 1x United States Champion 07 rookie of the year
Post by Sedition: The Rev on Mar 12, 2008 10:49:09 GMT -6
Level One is inside the old ladies house. He's sitting and waiting as she brings in plate of cookies.
OLD LADY: Hope you like chocolate chip.
She puts down the plate. Level One get a good looks at the cookies, which are burnt black as night.
LEVEL ONE: You mean charcoal chip? This is disgusting. I'm not eating it. Get me some real food.
At that moment Rev and Skippy Mohophosite walk through the door.
SKIPPY: Hi Grandma!
REV: Hey Mrs. Mohophosite.
LEVEL ONE: Wait, you know these guys?
REV: Of course she knows us. And we can't wait to eat some of those delicious cookies of hers.
Rev and Skippy begin to scarf down the disgusting burnt cookies. Rev stares at Level One who's holding his 24 Hour Combat Title belt.
REV: Hey.... (mouth full)....... don't I know you from somewhere?
Level One jumps out of his chair and bolts for the door. Rev ad Skippy get up to try and stop him but he's too fast. As he opens the door Skippy's grandma nails him in the head with flower vase. Level One goes down. Granny Mohophosite tries to go for the cover, but Rev pulls her off.
REV: Allow me.
Rev covers and Granny Mohophosite counts for
1.......... 2.......... 3!!!!!!!!!!
Rev takes the title and he and Skippy wave goodbye to Skippy's Grandma. He they're driving home when a horrible stomach ache overcomes them, likely due to the cookies. They make a pit stop at the hospital.
Champion, General Manager, sociopath. What will he do next?
Post by Hurricane Jeff on Mar 13, 2008 10:06:24 GMT -6
Skippy and Rev get into the hospital and a doctor shows up with a mask covering his face.
Doctor: What's seems to be the problem
Rev: We ate come bad cookies.
Doctor: I can take care of that.
Just then the Doctor pulls out one of those hammers that checks peoples reflexes and starts bashing Rev in the head. A midget shows up and starts biting Skippy's Ankle. The Doctor pulls off his mask and its Hurricane Jeff. An old man using a walker just happens to be close by. Jeff pushes the old man to the ground, takes his walker and starts beating Rev with it. Jeff grabs Rev and hits him with the eye of the hurricane and covers him and the midget counts.
1....2....3.
Jeff grabs the belt and before he leaves tell's rev.
HJ: That's for making me job to Mad Man Gary 3 and a half years ago.
Jeff kicks Rev once more and then leaves the hospital
EwC Accomplishments Current Combat Champ (4x) (First person to successfully retain the title and also won the title once as Max Carter) Former Undisputed Champ Former International Champ EWC Hall of Famer
Post by Sedition: The Rev on Mar 13, 2008 11:47:25 GMT -6
The Rev limps out of the hospital an hour and a half later with Skippy staggering behind him. He's suprised to find Hurricane Jeff still in the parking lot. Jeff is arguing wth a police officer over a parking ticket.
HJ: There's no way I'm paying for this ticket! I was in there for 5 minutes. Gimme a break.
COP: You parked sideways across two Handicap spots. The law is the law.
HJ: I have a midget here. They're handicapped by nature. Let it slide.
COP: I said.... the law is the law.
Rev limps over to Hurricane and the cop.
REV: I had 43 minutes to go and the title would have been mine! You're gonna pay for this one Jeff!
Rev gets ready to throw a punch but the cop stops him.
COP: I don't wanna see any fighting here. Don't make me haul both of you guys for disturbing the peace.
The Rev pulls a wad of bills out of his pocket.
REV: I'll give you the $60 for his parking ticket if you let me hit him.
COP: Are you kidding me?
REV: I'll throw in a free buffet dinner at Tony Roma's Steakhouse if you ht him for me.
COP: Really? Sounds like we have a deal.
The cop pulls out his club and knocks Hurricane Jeff out with a hit to the head. Jeff goes down. Rev covers him and the cop counts him down.
1......... 2......... 3!!!!!!!!!
Rev grabs the title, and stops to say something to Jeff.
REV: And this is for not having the balls to beat Mad Man Gary 3 and a half years ago.
Rev kicks Jeff in the stomach once and then hops in the passenger seat of the cops car. Skippy climbs into the back. The cop drives them all over to Tony Roma's Steakhouse for the buffet lunch.
T.B.C.
Champion, General Manager, sociopath. What will he do next?
Post by Hurricane Jeff on Mar 14, 2008 6:19:39 GMT -6
Hurricane Jeff walks into the Steak House Buffet and see's Rev stuffing his face. You can tell he's gettinbg full by the tiny bites he's taking. Rev then sits back in his chair and unbuttons his pants and lets out a giganic burp.
Rev: I could go for a nap right now.
Rev then goes over to the empty table that's next to his table and lays down on it and then takes a nap. Hurricane Jeff and the midget sneak over and HJ gently puts his arm over Rev's chest and the midget quietly counts
1....2....3.
HJ takes the belt and goes up to the waitress.
HJ: Get me 10 of the most expensive thing on your menu and add it to that guys bill.
HJ points over to rev. As the waitress leaves to put the order through, HJ and the midget sneak out of the steak house
EwC Accomplishments Current Combat Champ (4x) (First person to successfully retain the title and also won the title once as Max Carter) Former Undisputed Champ Former International Champ EWC Hall of Famer
Maddog was hanging with the hot vegetarian chicks protesting outside of the steak house. He whistles as he sees HJ. Just like that, Maddog's midget pops up from the sewer. His sharp teeth showing like crazy. Maddog tosses his midget up on his shoulders and then charges after HJ. Maddog's midgets smiles and stands up on maddog's shoulders. When close enough, the midget launches into the air and lands flat on HJ's head, driving it to the concrete. The midget then kicks HJ's midget in the balls. Maddog and his midget laugh, and Maddog covers HJ, with the Midget counting.
1,2,3!
Maddog then uses his amazing photoshop skills to make a picture of HJ and his midget smiling while covered in blood inside of a butcher shop. He blows it up to a parade banner size and hangs it up on the wall. The vegetarian women coming charging at the two with knives and fire, while Maddog heads off to the subway station with his wonderful little helper.
the inhabitants of this earth are of two sorts. those with brains, but no religion those with religion, but no brains
Slow ya roll, pasty faced purveyor of white emoness!
Suddenly, as Maddog waits for the train, he turns and sees the one and only....
Kid Cannabis, AKA, EL NEGRO!
Black superhero and the inventor of the Fantastic Four, right behind him, reeking like chronic wearing a cape and an awesome utility belt. Besides him is his sidekick, Biff Riboflavin, aka, WONDERBREAD, the Caucasian Boy Wonder!
Holy catch the Seven Train, El Negro! Maddog's trying to escape with the 24 Hour Combat Belt!
Not to worry, my melatonin lacking mellow! He can't escape the long, soulful arm of black justice!
The midget starts frothing at the mouth and leaps at El Negro, but El Negro's too quick for mini-honkey!
He pulls out two stainless steel afro picks from his utility belt, and like a ninja with shurikens, chucks them at the midget, embedding them in his kneecaps!
Midget: Holy crap, that hurts!
Biff subdues him by squirting Soul-Glo in his eyes, and now, Can turns to Maddog while the music from the old Batman TV show plays in the background.
Maddog.....
Mess with the fro....that ass has to go!
Punches Maddog in the face with an European Uppercut....
POW!
Smashes Maddog upside the dome with a crackpipe he scrounged off a fiend begging for change in the stairwell....
BIFF!!
Biff props Maddog on his shoulders while Can jumps off a Coke machine and they hit him with a Dommsday Device...
*BOOYAH!!*
Can picks Maddog up and superkicks him right into the subway car.....
N----, PLEASE!!
Oh, we keeps it too real for ya! We even added those old punch effects like the show did!
As the subway car pulls away to Brooklyn with an unconscious white ass Maddog heading for impending doom, Can picks up the 24 Hour belt and slings it over his shoulder!
Holy subway mugging, El Negro! We did it!
That's right Biff! Once again, another title safely returned from the clutches of brooding cracka evil! The belt is safe, and Maddog might end up at the Marcy projects with a gun to his head being told to get butt naked!
Our work is done, Biff! Back to the Black Cave!
I got Superfly on Tivo recording. Let's go!
*Stay tuned (Can always does!) for another harrowing, exciting, and like Can, FULLY COLORED episode of...
Post by Hurricane Jeff on Mar 15, 2008 9:24:05 GMT -6
Just then out of no where, A Midget comes flying, taking out Kid Cannabis and Biff Riboflavin. Bith guys are knocked down as Hurricane Jeff shows up.
HJ: Never under estimate the power of the flying midget.
Jeff covers Kid Cannabis.
1....2....3.
Jeff Grabs the belt and starts running with the midget
EwC Accomplishments Current Combat Champ (4x) (First person to successfully retain the title and also won the title once as Max Carter) Former Undisputed Champ Former International Champ EWC Hall of Famer
Suddenly a large cowboy boot sticks out of an alley and trips up HJ.
You're right, Jeffy. I could use a good flying midget right now.
The midget flies at Deniro, but Deniro sticks his hand out and the midget bounces off his massive palm. Deniro throws a potato sack over the midget and slings the sack over his shoulder, looking at HJ.
Here's how I use a flying midget, asswipe!
Swinging the midget in a bag like a baseball bat, Deniro proceeds to beat Hurricane Jeff .
Deniro tosses the midget off to the side and pins Jeff, while a hot dog vendor in a striped ref shirt counts the pin.
Uno...dos...tres...(yes, the hot dog vendor's mexican!)
Deniro picks up his belt, walks to the vendor, and orders a footlong with ketchup and relish while he waits for the next sucker to come at him.
Post by Hurricane Jeff on Mar 15, 2008 18:41:50 GMT -6
Deniro waits for his footlong. Its taking forever to get one and this gives Hurricane Jeff time to come to his senses. HJ crawls over to Deniro and starts biting his Ankle. Deniro tries to kick HJ off but the Midget latches on to Deniro's knee and starts biting it. Deniro kicks the midget off and HJ gets up. HJ pushes Deniro and the Midget is on all 4's behind Deniro. Deniro stumbles backwards and falls backwards over the Midget. As Deniro is falling, his head hits the Hotdog Venters cart and Deniro is knocked out. HJ covers and the midget counts.
1....2...3.
HJ takes the belt and then takes Deniro's footlong. A guy on a bicycle is driving by. HJ knocks him off and gets on the bike while the midget sits on the handle bars and HJ rides off
EwC Accomplishments Current Combat Champ (4x) (First person to successfully retain the title and also won the title once as Max Carter) Former Undisputed Champ Former International Champ EWC Hall of Famer
Post by Sedition: The Rev on Mar 16, 2008 15:04:03 GMT -6
Hurricane Jeff is riding down the street on a bike with the midget on the handle bars. One block up the street Rev and Skippy Mohophosite are hiding in the bushes. Rev has a long wooden stick in his hands. HJ approaches on the bike, only driving with one hand as he attempts to finish eating his hot dog with the other. As he rides past The Rev, Rev thrusts the wooden stick into spokes of the front tire of the bike. The wheel james and HJ and the midget flip forwards falling off the bike.
REV: All too easy.
Rev covers the midget and waits for the cover. Skippy doesn't move.
REV: Come on. How hard is 1...... 2...... 3?
SKIPPY: Wrong guy Rev. Jeff's the one who has the belt.
REV: Oops. My mistake.
Rev covers Hurricane Jeff now and Skippy counts him down.
1.......... 2.......... 3!!!!!!!!!!
Rev takes the belt and hops into Skippy's Geo. They drive down to the train station, where Rev catches a train to Montreal. Rev sits down in his seat with the belt in hand and takes a nap during his long train ride to Quebec.
T.B.C.
Champion, General Manager, sociopath. What will he do next?