Post by Gabrielle Visconty on May 17, 2020 12:45:09 GMT -6
“Stop you're trying to bruise my mind
...I can do it on my own
Stop you're trying to kill my time
…It's been my death since I was born
I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost
...But I'm on my way, on my way.”
Searching with My Good Eye Closed – Soundgarden
...I can do it on my own
Stop you're trying to kill my time
…It's been my death since I was born
I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost
...But I'm on my way, on my way.”
Searching with My Good Eye Closed – Soundgarden
5/17/2020
2:19 AM
Candy Castle, California
The feed begins with just a voice... No images, only the blackness of TV oblivion and the voice of Gabi Vee.
I am going to start this out by glossing over days 1-4. No one wants to hear about my first two days as my body realized I was cutting it off of painkillers for the first time in 10 months. With the Oxycodone fading out of my system my body decided to revolt... and revolt hard it did. My doctor warned me it was coming... even went as far as prescribing me Clonidine to help alleviate the withdrawal symptoms. Needless to say, I didn't take it day 1... I was damn well determined to not add anything to my system. I wanted to be free of ANY chemicals. Day 2 I sure as hell took it. Days 1-2 were tough... Candy and Robbie were heading out to Mexico for the FSW, and that left me alone to deal with this by myself; but I made it.
Days 3-4 were spent cleaning the guest bathroom in the Candy Castle... My body decided that if I was depriving it of painkillers on days 1-2, it was going to deprive me of anything in it. You get the idea... gross. Although days 3-4 were much better, I could honestly focus on things and be a bit social with my gracious hosts, I am far from being out of the woods, so to say. Candy is, for lack of better words, an angel. She has been driving me nuts... in a good way. She has been checking on me non-stop to see if I need anything, even when I haven't been very appreciative of her attention. Days 1-4 my personality probably rated right up there with an angry wolverine. You all remember the song from Mary Poppins: 'Spoon Full of sugar'? Candy IS Mary Poppins. It's her motto, I swear to God. hehe
All kidding aside, I love her to death.
The image suddenly comes to life as we see a close up of Gabi's face in the moonlight. She is wearing a 'Vanilla Poltergeist Snake' t-shirt and is completely soaked. Even in this dim light we can see the effects of detox in her face. She is laying back on some sort of flotation device as she floats in a pool. Her wet hair is mostly out of her face but she smiles brightly to her cell as she cuts this impromptu video.
“Day 5... Today. It is 2:19 in the morning and I can't sleep. I'm floating around in the pool on a cotton candy colored swan floaty and staring up at the stars... I would like to blame my sleeplessness on the withdrawals... but I can't.”
She offers a knowing wink to her phone before she continues.
“The cravings for painkillers are nowhere what they were... I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I hope. But my new found clarity has allowed me to focus on other things. The wreck I have made of my career. The people I have treated like shit. The friends I have lost. The amount of crap I put up with, as well as the financial loss I took, while Tommy Love was my 'manager'. I should have been in the tag team tourney with Candy... I walked away from her last year when we were starting to become a real team. I shut her out. Ended it like it all didn't matter to me... She knew something was wrong, so I had to keep her away or risk her figuring out that I was abusing painkillers. I couldn't stand the thought of that.”
Gabi's expression conveys the pain in saying that. She takes a deep, cleansing breath and lets it out slowly. She hesitates a moment, eyes focusing up at the stars overhead as if she was trying to find the words before she looks back down to the camera.
“Tommy had assured me that my career was over if it got out, that I would be exiled from the EWC. Then he proceeded to help feed my addiction... sinking his claws in deeper. Yeah, I know you sicko types are out there wondering what Tommy made me do to get the painkillers.”
She closes her eyes and purses her lips as she shakes her head slightly. She opens her eyes and stares at the camera.
“Even when I was at my worst, I would have taken my own life before letting Tommy place a hand on me. He never even tried... I think he knew where the line was and knew that if he wanted to continue to enjoy the money and fame that he had gotten from 'managing' Gabi Vee on Brawl, he would have to keep himself in check. Now as bad as I want to see Tommy die violently right now, there was a honest to God moment when he saved me from myself. He got me refocused on getting back in the ring, even if it was for his own gains, he still kept me pointed in the right direction. No matter how big of a scumbag, pervert, free loading piece of shit he is, there is a manager under it all that truly understands the business. Why am I telling you all this? Because it helps me heal... and I want it known before this story takes on a life of its own and perverts into something it never was. I am 1000% sure Tommy is going to come out with some outlandish stories and try to do what he can to ruin me... After all, he is Tommy Love and he currently has nothing.”
Her eyes darken as she smiles to herself and laughs. The darker version of Gabrielle Visconty shows itself briefly but fades as fast as it appeared.
“Enough of Tommy for now... Just speaking about it makes me want to roll off this swan and sink to the bottom of the pool and discover if I can truly breath underwater.”
She chuckles slightly at her statement.
“In case you are wondering, or even if you aren't, I am still in the EWC. I have some hurdles to cross before I can return to compete again... but I am still here. I have a few things to say to a few people before I end this... Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to offer me even an ounce of support. I truly thought I was in this alone... I was sadly mistaken. If I knew then what I know now, I would have walked away from Tommy before this even started. I was pigheaded and to stubborn to get the help I needed. I was scared I would be ostracized for it... and honestly, that scared me more than any of you will ever know. I love this sport and I love this company. My drive to compete put me in the state I was in... I had stars in my eyes and championships on my mind. I wasn't focused on my own health... I had arrived in the EWC and I was making an impact with the big names of the company. I was living the dream. I thought I was invincible. The thought of losing all that was crippling.”
She fights back tears, glancing briefly away from the camera. She looks back and offers a smirk.
“Thank you, everyone.”
She reaches up to end the video but stops. Her smirk grows into a big grin on her face as her middle finger appears in the middle of the shot.
“Fuck you, Dom.”
Gabi whispers before the feed ends.
Days 3-4 were spent cleaning the guest bathroom in the Candy Castle... My body decided that if I was depriving it of painkillers on days 1-2, it was going to deprive me of anything in it. You get the idea... gross. Although days 3-4 were much better, I could honestly focus on things and be a bit social with my gracious hosts, I am far from being out of the woods, so to say. Candy is, for lack of better words, an angel. She has been driving me nuts... in a good way. She has been checking on me non-stop to see if I need anything, even when I haven't been very appreciative of her attention. Days 1-4 my personality probably rated right up there with an angry wolverine. You all remember the song from Mary Poppins: 'Spoon Full of sugar'? Candy IS Mary Poppins. It's her motto, I swear to God. hehe
All kidding aside, I love her to death.
The image suddenly comes to life as we see a close up of Gabi's face in the moonlight. She is wearing a 'Vanilla Poltergeist Snake' t-shirt and is completely soaked. Even in this dim light we can see the effects of detox in her face. She is laying back on some sort of flotation device as she floats in a pool. Her wet hair is mostly out of her face but she smiles brightly to her cell as she cuts this impromptu video.
“Day 5... Today. It is 2:19 in the morning and I can't sleep. I'm floating around in the pool on a cotton candy colored swan floaty and staring up at the stars... I would like to blame my sleeplessness on the withdrawals... but I can't.”
She offers a knowing wink to her phone before she continues.
“The cravings for painkillers are nowhere what they were... I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I hope. But my new found clarity has allowed me to focus on other things. The wreck I have made of my career. The people I have treated like shit. The friends I have lost. The amount of crap I put up with, as well as the financial loss I took, while Tommy Love was my 'manager'. I should have been in the tag team tourney with Candy... I walked away from her last year when we were starting to become a real team. I shut her out. Ended it like it all didn't matter to me... She knew something was wrong, so I had to keep her away or risk her figuring out that I was abusing painkillers. I couldn't stand the thought of that.”
Gabi's expression conveys the pain in saying that. She takes a deep, cleansing breath and lets it out slowly. She hesitates a moment, eyes focusing up at the stars overhead as if she was trying to find the words before she looks back down to the camera.
“Tommy had assured me that my career was over if it got out, that I would be exiled from the EWC. Then he proceeded to help feed my addiction... sinking his claws in deeper. Yeah, I know you sicko types are out there wondering what Tommy made me do to get the painkillers.”
She closes her eyes and purses her lips as she shakes her head slightly. She opens her eyes and stares at the camera.
“Even when I was at my worst, I would have taken my own life before letting Tommy place a hand on me. He never even tried... I think he knew where the line was and knew that if he wanted to continue to enjoy the money and fame that he had gotten from 'managing' Gabi Vee on Brawl, he would have to keep himself in check. Now as bad as I want to see Tommy die violently right now, there was a honest to God moment when he saved me from myself. He got me refocused on getting back in the ring, even if it was for his own gains, he still kept me pointed in the right direction. No matter how big of a scumbag, pervert, free loading piece of shit he is, there is a manager under it all that truly understands the business. Why am I telling you all this? Because it helps me heal... and I want it known before this story takes on a life of its own and perverts into something it never was. I am 1000% sure Tommy is going to come out with some outlandish stories and try to do what he can to ruin me... After all, he is Tommy Love and he currently has nothing.”
Her eyes darken as she smiles to herself and laughs. The darker version of Gabrielle Visconty shows itself briefly but fades as fast as it appeared.
“Enough of Tommy for now... Just speaking about it makes me want to roll off this swan and sink to the bottom of the pool and discover if I can truly breath underwater.”
She chuckles slightly at her statement.
“In case you are wondering, or even if you aren't, I am still in the EWC. I have some hurdles to cross before I can return to compete again... but I am still here. I have a few things to say to a few people before I end this... Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to offer me even an ounce of support. I truly thought I was in this alone... I was sadly mistaken. If I knew then what I know now, I would have walked away from Tommy before this even started. I was pigheaded and to stubborn to get the help I needed. I was scared I would be ostracized for it... and honestly, that scared me more than any of you will ever know. I love this sport and I love this company. My drive to compete put me in the state I was in... I had stars in my eyes and championships on my mind. I wasn't focused on my own health... I had arrived in the EWC and I was making an impact with the big names of the company. I was living the dream. I thought I was invincible. The thought of losing all that was crippling.”
She fights back tears, glancing briefly away from the camera. She looks back and offers a smirk.
“Thank you, everyone.”
She reaches up to end the video but stops. Her smirk grows into a big grin on her face as her middle finger appears in the middle of the shot.
“Fuck you, Dom.”
Gabi whispers before the feed ends.