A Little Wednesday Morning UPRISING

[TheSouthernExpress]

The camera opens as Bunny Love is walking along on the campus of The University of Florida with her phone to her ear while looking down at a map of the campus.

“Relax, I’m almost there…”

She stops, looks down at her phone and the app that’s open, Track My IPhone and points west and continues to walk that way.

“What the hell were you two thinking anyways, you know men can’t stay overnight at a sorority house…”

There is a pause where the person or persons on the other end are talking as Bunny shakes her head

“That’s common knowledge you idiots…yes it is…YES it is…YES IT IS…LISTEN, I was in a sorority at UCLA, Delta Gamma bitches and men are not allowed on the second level let alone to spend the night and we are not allowed to throw parties inside the house…no we aren’t…NO WE AREN’T!!! Damn it listen…are they real cops or just campus security…”

But Bunny’s question is answered as she turns the corner and sees several REAL cop cars outside the Alpha Phi house, their red and blue lights flashing and the chaos is starting to attract a scene outside the sorority house. She exhales loudly and shakes her head.

“Well sit tight, I’m here, give me a second to get inside…”

Bunny hits end and walks up towards the Alpha Phi house. She walks up the sidewalks and towards the door that’s open, she shakes her head and runs inside the house

“GRANDPA’S!!!! YOU FOUND THEM, OH MY GOD THANK YOU!!!”

Bunny runs up and hugs the police officer and then hugs his partner as she looks down at Bobby Rose and Jimmy Lane, who are sitting on the floor, their back’s against the wall

“How many times have I told you not to wonder off…do you know how worried I was…”

“These two are your Grandpa’s…”

Bunny nods at the lead officer

“Yes sir, well this one is…”

She points at Bobby

“And he…”

Bunny points at Jimmy

“Is his lover…we were so proud of them to find true love this late in life…”

“HEY!!!”

Jimmy goes to stand up but the officer takes a step towards him and he sits back down mumbling to himself

"I don't know why Bobby always gets to be the grandpa and I always have to be his lover..."

“Save it Miss Love, we know who you are and we know who these two are…”

Bunny smirks, knowing the ‘plan’ isn’t going to work and she smiles at the officer and shrugs

“Can’t blame me for trying right…and if you know who these two are then what’s the big fucking deal…why are you treating them like criminals…”

“Because Miss Thornton called us this morning about two intruders in the house…”

“We were invited back to the house after meeting the girls at The Social…see we were there because the manager, Vince…we go way back…anyways he knew we were doing this ‘referee’ thing at Uprising and go give us some practice he organized some mud wrestling matches with the ladies of Florida for us to ref…anyways we met the girls there and made sure they won because well look at them…”

“Yeah, and then they yelled Last Call and we brought the victory party back here…what’s the big deal…”

“The big deal is boys aren’t allowed upstairs on the second floor…”

“Well good thing we aren’t boys but men…”

“Boy’s to men, ABC, BBD, The East Coast Family…seriously you don’t know Boys II Men…”

“Only family members are allowed to stay overnight…”

Bobby smiles and before Bunny can kick him to make him not say it he says

“Well Taylor was calling me ‘daddy’ last night…”

“Yeah she was, I could hear her yelling out for ‘Daddy’ all night, it was tough for Maisie to keep her concentration on her task…that being…”

“OK!!! Clearly this was all a misunderstanding, the house mom freaked out because she heard these two idiots and thought they were intruders but clearly they were invited guests…if anyone is to blame it’s the girls, they agreed to live under these house rules and these two idiots didn’t know the rules of the house and can’t be expected to live under these rules seeing as they are not members or residents of the house…and should be free to go…”

She looks at the two officers, who don’t seem to agree with the 2021 EWC Manager of the Year

“Or we could take them in for a few questions…”

Bunny smiles

“And I could call our attorney plus the attorney of Paramount and the EWC and inform them that their Tag Team Champions of the World are being harassed…”

“Not to mention AARP and the Department of Aging…those ladies love us…”

“Listen guys…”

Bunny motions for the two officers to take a step away from Bobby, Jimmy and Miss Thornton and walk over towards the door with her

“Paramount has a huge show tonight, Uprising and those two knuckleheads have a huge role in The Halo Syndicate/The Hawaiian Hunters tag team match…they are the referees and if I have to call Chris Brock and tell him his tag team champions are being detained because they hooked up with two sorority skanks…”

“Four skanks…I mean four young ladies…”

Bunny looks a bit shocked and impressed

“They score threesome…not bad guys…”

“No, Bobby was in the middle of a fourway while Jimmy was receiving oral…”

“OK…I don’t need the details but anyways, they did nothing wrong other than hook up with some girls with daddy issues and I know, Miss Thornton wants you to throw the book at them but I’m telling you, if Chris Brock gets involved he’s going to call Tony Jones…”

The two officers look at Bunny, who smiles

“Oh yeah, we know Captain Jones, he’s a huge wrestling fan and if my boss calls your boss…well your days of watching these cute girls from afar will be over and you will be downtown dealing with parking issues…so…”

Bunny looks at her tag team

“Give them a stern warning and let us be on our way…we are out of here tomorrow morning and The Southern Express Farewell Tour will roll out of Gainesville never to come back…so what do you say…”

The two officers look at each other, then at Bobby and Jimmy, then to Miss Thornton and then back to Bunny

“You boys are free to go…”

“WHAT!!! They were trespassing, engaging in lewd activity with these young ladies…”

“Give it a rest Miss Thornton, these girls are not pure or wholesome…”

Bobby and Jimmy jump to their feet and make their way quickly towards the door but stop, they turn and look at the girls they spent the night with and nod.

“We’ll leave tickets for tonight at will-call…”

“Yeah, come out and have a fun night on us…”

“Bring a friend or two and maybe we can turn that fourway into a fiveway or a sixway…”

“And Maisie…bring Miss Thornton along, you can tag her in when your jaw gets tired…”

Jimmy gives a thumbs up to Miss Thornton before the Express run out the door. Bunny nods to the police officers and she follows Bobby and Jimmy out the door and onto the sidewalk.

“What did I tell you when I left you last night…”

Bobby looks at Jimmy and they both smile

“No sorority girls…”

“And what did you do…”

“The Sorority girls…"

“Why…why couldn’t you just listen to me and leave them alone, you could have nailed the bartender or the waitress…why did it have to be the sorority girls…”

“Because of this…”

Bobby reaches into his pocket and pulls out a BINGO sheet and a red pen, Jimmy turns around and lets him use his back to cross off Florida

“What the hell is that…the Girls of the SEC…”

Jimmy stands back up and smiles

“It’s a road game we play, see the goal is to…”

“Sleep with a girl from every school…I’m not stupid Jimmy…wait who is Katherine Banks?”

Bobby smiles

“The only female President of a SEC University, Texas A&M…Go Aggies!!!”

“And you slept with her…”

“Right there in the Dean’s Office, I watched the door for them…”

“And Hester M. Peirce?”

Bobby looks down and shakes his head as Jimmy smiles

“Well she’s the Commissioner of the SEC…”

“The SEC has a female commissioner…”

Jimmy laughs

“Well Bobby didn’t read so well with that one, she’s the Commissioner of the SEC, as in the Securities and Exchange Commission and not the Southeastern Conference…”

“By the time I figured it out I already had her name on the sheet and naked in my bed so I thought ‘oh well, might as well see it through’...I didn’t want to have an open box…”

“But you do, Arkansas…”

Bobby shakes his head

“See that one's a bit tricky, those girls only want to sleep with their cousins…”

“Bobby tried, he married a lass from Arkansas in hopes of nailing her cousin but it was a religious family and such and only would fuck blood relatives…”

Bunny shakes her head at the absurdity off this game and looks at them both

“Listen, enough…we have Uprising tonight and we are the referees of the Halo Syndicate v. The Hawaiian Hunters, the winner of that match challenges for the EWC Tag Team Championships at Paramount #019 so we need our game faces on…”

Bobby nods

“Yeah, agreed, we can worry about Arkansas later…”

“That’s not what…”

But before she can finish Bobby has folded up his Girls of the SEC Bingo sheet up and put it back in his pocket and him and Jimmy have started walking away

“Jesus…I should have called Chris Brock and let him handle this…'let them be referees for Uprising, what’s the worst that could happen'…”

Bunny looks back at the Alpha Phi house and holds up her hands

“That…that is what could happen…Alpha bitches…”

Bunny runs along to catch up with Bobby and Jimmy as the camera fades out