Unsent Letters & Sober Hearts

[JoJo Rush]

Narrator: The following are handwritten letters from the man known throughout the EWC universe as JoJo Rush. The letters were sealed and entrusted to an executor in the event that JoJo was to pass away. JoJo and JoJo alone know what is written in any of the letters. These are meant to provide more character depth to understand JoJo's character and backstory for you handlers out there.

Dear Ava,

You already know why you got this letter, but I suppose it is unavoidable to try and start these things with the cliché "If you're reading this I died". It's hard to phrase exactly what I want to say to you. You and I both know that you were the brains of the marriage. I used to be angry at you for not accepting my apology. I felt entitled to your forgiveness and that was wrong of me. You had every right not to pardon me for my sins. I was never the man you deserved.

I can't explain why I couldn't be that man. There was something wrong with me from the beginning. I break everything in my life and I do it with laser precision. I think it's something more than just selfishness. I tried following a code, I tried following my mother's traditions, but no matter what I did the only thing I wanted to do was destroy. I loved destroying my body with booze and the rodeo. I'll never forget the look on your face when a Bull crushed my hip a month before our wedding. The fire in your eyes were snuffed right out, you cried for hours and I only sat there, too high on morphine to feel anything but remorse. I loved drinking, I loved not feeling that darkness that engulfs the cavity where my heart ought to be. I loved the rush I felt from losing control, it's probably why I loved bull-riding. I loved putting my life on the line. I loved it so much I endangered everyone around me. I only ever felt alive when I put my life on the line.

There was a moment after the crash when Eli and I were consciences. We were in so much pain, and Eli begged of me to stay alive. To his dying breath, he begged me to hold on. Even in his final moments he cared for me over his own well-being. It was that moment when I realized that I'll never be half the man that I needed to be. But you made me want to try, and if I died before becoming champion I will not regret giving everything to at least try.

I hope my passing doesn't cause you pain. I hope that I had severed any connection you had to me that would cause you that remorse again. I loved you until my dying day and if there is another life I will love you in that one too. I am happy that you have found Colt, he might be distressingly normal but you deserve that stability in your life. Leave me in the past, leave me behind and never let me back into your world to hurt you again. Burn our photos, and light your wedding dress aflame if you have to. Hell, burn this letter if it means you get to move on and achieve the happiness you deserve in this world.

Sincerely,

Johnny Boy.

[JoJo Rush]

Dear Pa,



The letters I wrote for you and Ma were hard to write. I didn’t know what to really say, and to be honest, I didn’t know how to start. I wanted to open this letter with “I hope these letters never find you. I hope you and Ma never had to experience burying two of your children,” but you buried me with Eli. I don’t think in death I could forgive you for leaving me for dead. I know why you did what you did, but I was still on this Earth. I was hurt, alone, and in need of anybody but Pa you turned your back on me. I might be the monster that killed your youngest son, but I was still your boy. You saw the pain on my face and showed me that there’s no love in this world that is unconditional.



I always had to wonder why you didn’t seem to love me as much as Jakob and Eli. It always made me feel rotten like I was the bad apple in the batch. I was so scared of never earning your love that I tried to be exactly what you wanted. I was the best set of hands in the house. Jakob couldn’t work much because of his neck, and Eli was too busy exercising to put in the work. But even that wasn’t good enough for you. You were like this long before the accident. I think the accident just gave you the excuse to make those implicit feelings explicit.



I’m gone from this Earth now, but now you never get the chance to ask for my forgiveness. I am not saying this to spite you. I don’t wish you any pain as I move on to the afterlife, but you do need to know I passed never forgiving you. That your second son died without so much as thinking about you.



Sincerely,

Your son