Post by Emma Louise on Jan 8, 2023 11:53:50 GMT -6
‘What is love? Baby don’t hurt me….’
Emma Louise leans against the bar in a nightclub. She sips on her drink as she watches a woman walk through the mass of bodies toward her.
“Barkeep, I’ll have whatever she’s drinking.”
The barman starts pouring drinks into a cocktail shaker.
“The hell have you been Debbie? You’ve been gone ages.”
“I had to queue. It’s like a battle royal in there. But not to worry. I met someone and I have a solution?
“Solution?”
“Yep. A guy I met on the way back sold me some tablets and said it would make me more sexually appealing. Is it working?”
“Dunno. Think your boobs look rounder.”
Debbie bounces up and down and before running her hands over her rounder boobs. Debbie’s drink has arrived. She takes a sip.
“Jesus Em! What the hell is this?”
“Dunno. Just said to give me something with a lot of alcohol and he gave me that. It’s nice and it cost me two fifty.”
“Better value than my tablets. Ten quid just for rounder tits!”
“Maybe some men like round tiddies. I don’t suppose they came with a name did they?”
“Darren.”
“Darren? The tablets are called Darren?”
“Nah, guy that sold me them. He’s a good kisser and we’re going out next Friday.”
“So you have a date and you still coughed up ten quid for tablets to make you more sexually appealing?”
“Aye.”
“I don’t… I can't with you. “
“Think I should take one on Friday?”
“I… Do the tablets have a name?”
“Viagra.”
Emma facepalms.
“That’s it, I’m cutting you off.”
Emma takes Debbie’s drink out of her hand.
“Hey!”
“Hey nothing! You parted with ten quid to ‘good kisser’ Darren for these tablets? Am I right so far?”
“So far.”
“Good. Here’s the fun bit. You paid money for a drug that treats sexual imputance in men?”
“Sexy what?”
“It helps them when they can’t get it up. If anything HE should be taking it on Friday, not you!”
“So what will it do to me?”
“I don’t know.”
“You said it made my boobs rounder.”
Emma holds up her drink.
“This is my second of these and you’ve tasted it. All I’m seeing is round.”
“Maybe I’ll end up driving with my arm out the window. I might even grow a beard!”
“You’d look good with a soul patch.”
"A soul patch? I would not look good with a soul patch, I have a date on Friday!”
“Tell him he owes you a tenner… actually make it twenty and you can get some shaving cream.”
“I’ll just use my brother’s like I do when I do me legs. Free cream!”
‘Don’t wanna wake on a Monday morning…’
“That is my fucking jam! Hold my drink and don’t buy any more magic beans from bloody Darren!”
Emma bobs toward the dance floor.
Emma Louise leans against the bar in a nightclub. She sips on her drink as she watches a woman walk through the mass of bodies toward her.
“Barkeep, I’ll have whatever she’s drinking.”
The barman starts pouring drinks into a cocktail shaker.
“The hell have you been Debbie? You’ve been gone ages.”
“I had to queue. It’s like a battle royal in there. But not to worry. I met someone and I have a solution?
“Solution?”
“Yep. A guy I met on the way back sold me some tablets and said it would make me more sexually appealing. Is it working?”
“Dunno. Think your boobs look rounder.”
Debbie bounces up and down and before running her hands over her rounder boobs. Debbie’s drink has arrived. She takes a sip.
“Jesus Em! What the hell is this?”
“Dunno. Just said to give me something with a lot of alcohol and he gave me that. It’s nice and it cost me two fifty.”
“Better value than my tablets. Ten quid just for rounder tits!”
“Maybe some men like round tiddies. I don’t suppose they came with a name did they?”
“Darren.”
“Darren? The tablets are called Darren?”
“Nah, guy that sold me them. He’s a good kisser and we’re going out next Friday.”
“So you have a date and you still coughed up ten quid for tablets to make you more sexually appealing?”
“Aye.”
“I don’t… I can't with you. “
“Think I should take one on Friday?”
“I… Do the tablets have a name?”
“Viagra.”
Emma facepalms.
“That’s it, I’m cutting you off.”
Emma takes Debbie’s drink out of her hand.
“Hey!”
“Hey nothing! You parted with ten quid to ‘good kisser’ Darren for these tablets? Am I right so far?”
“So far.”
“Good. Here’s the fun bit. You paid money for a drug that treats sexual imputance in men?”
“Sexy what?”
“It helps them when they can’t get it up. If anything HE should be taking it on Friday, not you!”
“So what will it do to me?”
“I don’t know.”
“You said it made my boobs rounder.”
Emma holds up her drink.
“This is my second of these and you’ve tasted it. All I’m seeing is round.”
“Maybe I’ll end up driving with my arm out the window. I might even grow a beard!”
“You’d look good with a soul patch.”
"A soul patch? I would not look good with a soul patch, I have a date on Friday!”
“Tell him he owes you a tenner… actually make it twenty and you can get some shaving cream.”
“I’ll just use my brother’s like I do when I do me legs. Free cream!”
‘Don’t wanna wake on a Monday morning…’
“That is my fucking jam! Hold my drink and don’t buy any more magic beans from bloody Darren!”
Emma bobs toward the dance floor.
