Post by Emma Louise on Jan 20, 2023 19:06:59 GMT -6
“What do you mean you lost it?” Katie screams as she starts checking the pockets of the coats hanging up on the living room door.
Colin sits on the sofa looking a little sheepish.
“We win thirty four million in the lottery. The money cleared in our account this morning and you have somehow managed to lose the FUCKING BANK CARD!!!!”
“I don’t know how it happened. It just did.”
“Where did you have it last?”
“I don’t know!”
“THINK!!”
“I had it this morning. I checked the bank. I saw the money had cleared. I bought the bacon and the sausages for the breakfast. I came back here. I cooked the breakfast. We watched the TV and ate. I was out talking to Ross next door while getting the washing in.”
“Right then. I’ll check the garden where you were getting the washing. You go to the shop, retrace your steps. Even ask if someone’s found it and handed it in.”
“Will do.”
“Well get your coat and GO!!!”
He leaps to his feet and runs out of the house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Nothing.” Katie slumps onto the sofa.
“Same here.” says Colin as he drops onto his chair.
“Did you tell them how much is on the card did you?”
“No! Never find it if they knew what it was worth.”
“So what do we do now?”
“What?”
“What. We. Do. Now?”
“Cancel the card I suppose. I expect the bank will send out a replacement one.”
“What do we do about the money until then?”
“I think the bank would give us some if we go down with proof of I.D.”
“Not much good if we go to the supermarket now is it?”
“Suppose not.”
“I mean I can put off booking holidays and whatever until the new card arrives. But I’d like to be able to go to the supermarket, fill a trolley or two. Hand over the card, contactless and fill my fridge and cupboards. I can’t right now. Nor can I say ‘fuck the cooking’ and celebrate with a Chinese takeaway.”
“I mean we can still… “
“Just go and phone the bank.”
Colin gets to his feet and picks up the phone.
“I’ll call them from the other room.”
He exits the room as Katie’s daughter Kelly walks into the room wearing her dressing gown. She sits on the chair her father vacated while fixing her hair into a bun.
“What’s happened now?” She asks.
“Oh don’t ask. Your father’s managed to loose the bank card.”
Kelly bursts out laughing.
“I’m glad you’re happy.”
“Be honest mum, there was a 50/50 chance of this happening. It’s not the first time he’s lost a bank card.”
“Granted. But this one has thirty four million on it!”
“Shit.”
“Shit indeed.”
“So what now?”
“He’s away cancelling the card incase someone else finds it and spends our winnings.”
“I was going to go to Florida.”
“I was going to get a caravan. Nice big thing and put it near the sea. There’s a place at the top end of Scotland I saw on TV. Caravan park. Looks lovely. I mean we still can. We just need to sit around and wait for the new card coming in.”
“Anything for eating?”
“Your dad brought in sausages before he lost the card. Slap them in the microwave and on some bread.”
Kelly stands up and shuffles out the room with her hands in her pockets. Colin re-enters.
“Well that’s them phoned. Woman on the phone says the card should be here in three days.”
He sits in his chair.
“Did they say anything about what we do until then?”
“Pretty much what I said, take I.D in to verify who we are and they’ll give us money from the account. If nothing else we get three days to work out what we’re going to do next.”
“I suppose. Kel’s in the kitchen warming her breakfast. We’ll get ready and go down to the bank and the supermarket later on.”
“Yeah.”
Colin kicks off his shoes and a small, plastic rectangle falls onto the floor.
“Tell me that isn’t what I think it is!”
“Erm… you're going to laugh.”
“Oh for fu…!”
“There’s a hole in the pocket of my jeans. It must have fallen through it, down my leg and into my shoe.”
“I’m… going… to the … garden… before… I do… damage...!!!”
Katie stands up and heads out of the room. A moment later the back door SLAMS shut.
Colin sits on the sofa looking a little sheepish.
“We win thirty four million in the lottery. The money cleared in our account this morning and you have somehow managed to lose the FUCKING BANK CARD!!!!”
“I don’t know how it happened. It just did.”
“Where did you have it last?”
“I don’t know!”
“THINK!!”
“I had it this morning. I checked the bank. I saw the money had cleared. I bought the bacon and the sausages for the breakfast. I came back here. I cooked the breakfast. We watched the TV and ate. I was out talking to Ross next door while getting the washing in.”
“Right then. I’ll check the garden where you were getting the washing. You go to the shop, retrace your steps. Even ask if someone’s found it and handed it in.”
“Will do.”
“Well get your coat and GO!!!”
He leaps to his feet and runs out of the house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Nothing.” Katie slumps onto the sofa.
“Same here.” says Colin as he drops onto his chair.
“Did you tell them how much is on the card did you?”
“No! Never find it if they knew what it was worth.”
“So what do we do now?”
“What?”
“What. We. Do. Now?”
“Cancel the card I suppose. I expect the bank will send out a replacement one.”
“What do we do about the money until then?”
“I think the bank would give us some if we go down with proof of I.D.”
“Not much good if we go to the supermarket now is it?”
“Suppose not.”
“I mean I can put off booking holidays and whatever until the new card arrives. But I’d like to be able to go to the supermarket, fill a trolley or two. Hand over the card, contactless and fill my fridge and cupboards. I can’t right now. Nor can I say ‘fuck the cooking’ and celebrate with a Chinese takeaway.”
“I mean we can still… “
“Just go and phone the bank.”
Colin gets to his feet and picks up the phone.
“I’ll call them from the other room.”
He exits the room as Katie’s daughter Kelly walks into the room wearing her dressing gown. She sits on the chair her father vacated while fixing her hair into a bun.
“What’s happened now?” She asks.
“Oh don’t ask. Your father’s managed to loose the bank card.”
Kelly bursts out laughing.
“I’m glad you’re happy.”
“Be honest mum, there was a 50/50 chance of this happening. It’s not the first time he’s lost a bank card.”
“Granted. But this one has thirty four million on it!”
“Shit.”
“Shit indeed.”
“So what now?”
“He’s away cancelling the card incase someone else finds it and spends our winnings.”
“I was going to go to Florida.”
“I was going to get a caravan. Nice big thing and put it near the sea. There’s a place at the top end of Scotland I saw on TV. Caravan park. Looks lovely. I mean we still can. We just need to sit around and wait for the new card coming in.”
“Anything for eating?”
“Your dad brought in sausages before he lost the card. Slap them in the microwave and on some bread.”
Kelly stands up and shuffles out the room with her hands in her pockets. Colin re-enters.
“Well that’s them phoned. Woman on the phone says the card should be here in three days.”
He sits in his chair.
“Did they say anything about what we do until then?”
“Pretty much what I said, take I.D in to verify who we are and they’ll give us money from the account. If nothing else we get three days to work out what we’re going to do next.”
“I suppose. Kel’s in the kitchen warming her breakfast. We’ll get ready and go down to the bank and the supermarket later on.”
“Yeah.”
Colin kicks off his shoes and a small, plastic rectangle falls onto the floor.
“Tell me that isn’t what I think it is!”
“Erm… you're going to laugh.”
“Oh for fu…!”
“There’s a hole in the pocket of my jeans. It must have fallen through it, down my leg and into my shoe.”
“I’m… going… to the … garden… before… I do… damage...!!!”
Katie stands up and heads out of the room. A moment later the back door SLAMS shut.
