FSW#5 September 13th 2015 Baltimore Maryland
Sept 13, 2015 20:34:07 GMT -6
Ruthless Aggression likes this
Post by James Duffman on Sept 13, 2015 20:34:07 GMT -6
WARNING: This live event contains stunts performed by professionals or under the supervision of professionals and maybe unsuitable for younger viewers. Accordingly EWC and it's producers must insist that no one attempt to recreate or re-enact any stunt or activity performed in this live event.
The Extreme Wrestling Corporation Presents
Future Starts of Wrestling
Episode#5
September 13th 2015
Live on Sundays 9/8 PM CST (ESPN, Spike, SkySports)
Brought to you by Under Armour, Sony and Dr Pepper
Live at the Royal Farms Arena in Baltimore Maryland, on September 13th, 2015
Future Stars Of Wrestling
September 13th, 2015
Live at the Royal Farms Arena in Baltimore Maryland
Commentators: Trey Parker and Matt Stone
Announcer: Amy Schumer
Backstage interviewer: Eric Compton
FSW Commissioner: James Duffman
Push Me By Black Stone plays, as the FSW logo appears over the Titantron, eliciting massive cheers for the sold out Royal Farms Arena in Baltimore Maryland.
Trey Parker: We're live, and we're sold out at the Royal Farms Arena in Baltimore, and it seems everyone is ready, for EWC's best damn show, FSW to get underway. I'm TreyParker, joined by longtime friend and co-commentator, Matt Stone!
Matt Stone: Yeah buddy. There are several good reasons as to why we're currently EWC's highest rated show. Two of them being us.
Trey Parker: No doubt about that. and tonight, we will find out one of our finalists in the FSW gold rush.
Matt Stone: Yeah weren't we supposed to get the both of them? What the F*ck man?
Trey Parker: We would have if Candace St.Clair hadn't gotten herself arrested by stealing something from a cop. You know, those handcuffs she used against York Champson in the steel cage.
Matt Stone: How could I forget the epic beatdown she gave him. either way, the Elite look to be roughed up since. But if all goes well, they will be on top to stay.
Trey Parker: Well, not if some people have to say about that. Anyways, let's begin the action. Take it away Amy!
A low rumbling sweeps the arena, and the lights begin to flicker erratically. After a second or so of silence, "Waiting Room" by Switchblade Symphony begins to pick up, and Harlow Kinsley appears at the top of the entry ramp. Escorted by four security guards, she slowly marches her way to the ring with a distant expression. She occasionally tries to stop, maybe even interact with the visibly uncomfortable audience, but is quickly shoved back into pace by one of her guards.
Amy Schumer: The following contest is set for one fall. Making her debut...From Tijuana Mexico. HARLOW KISNLEY!
Trey Parker: She's not joking. This is Harlow's debut match.
She enters the ring alone, sliding under the bottom rope while her escorts wait on the floor. She crawls at a painfully slow rate, stopping when she reaches the middle of the ring, and sits back on her heels... staring off into space, or at the ceiling, or at nothing in particular. It's hard to tell. After a little while, she stumbles to her feet and shakes off her general malaise.
Trey Parker: We're live, and we're sold out at the Royal Farms Arena in Baltimore, and it seems everyone is ready, for EWC's best damn show, FSW to get underway. I'm TreyParker, joined by longtime friend and co-commentator, Matt Stone!
Matt Stone: Yeah buddy. There are several good reasons as to why we're currently EWC's highest rated show. Two of them being us.
Trey Parker: No doubt about that. and tonight, we will find out one of our finalists in the FSW gold rush.
Matt Stone: Yeah weren't we supposed to get the both of them? What the F*ck man?
Trey Parker: We would have if Candace St.Clair hadn't gotten herself arrested by stealing something from a cop. You know, those handcuffs she used against York Champson in the steel cage.
Matt Stone: How could I forget the epic beatdown she gave him. either way, the Elite look to be roughed up since. But if all goes well, they will be on top to stay.
Trey Parker: Well, not if some people have to say about that. Anyways, let's begin the action. Take it away Amy!
Match#1
Harlow Kinsley VS Johnathan Blade
A low rumbling sweeps the arena, and the lights begin to flicker erratically. After a second or so of silence, "Waiting Room" by Switchblade Symphony begins to pick up, and Harlow Kinsley appears at the top of the entry ramp. Escorted by four security guards, she slowly marches her way to the ring with a distant expression. She occasionally tries to stop, maybe even interact with the visibly uncomfortable audience, but is quickly shoved back into pace by one of her guards.
Amy Schumer: The following contest is set for one fall. Making her debut...From Tijuana Mexico. HARLOW KISNLEY!
Trey Parker: She's not joking. This is Harlow's debut match.
She enters the ring alone, sliding under the bottom rope while her escorts wait on the floor. She crawls at a painfully slow rate, stopping when she reaches the middle of the ring, and sits back on her heels... staring off into space, or at the ceiling, or at nothing in particular. It's hard to tell. After a little while, she stumbles to her feet and shakes off her general malaise.
Amy Schumer: And Her Opponent. From Phoenix Arizona. Weighing in at 251 pounds. Jonathan Blade.
Harlow and Blade meet up in the center of the ring, with Blade simply laughing at the multi-colored haired woman. Harlow shakes her head and quickly sends a spinning kick to the ribs of Blade. Blade falls on his one knee and grabs the ribs where he was hit, and Harlow runs to the ropes, bouncing back with an enziguri. Harlow goes to pin.
1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
KICKOUT!
Harlow goes onto the apron and turns to Blade, then slingshots herself back in for what looks like a splash, but Blade rolls out of the way, and Harlow is quick to roll herself for protection. Harlow stands up and turns quickly to her opponent, but Blade is quick to kick her in the gut, and follows with a DDT attempt, but Harlow is able to pick him up for a belly-to-back suplex!
Trey Parker: Whoa! Did you see that!?
Matt Stone: Huhwha? Aw, geez! You woke me up from a great dream. I was mah dick deepthroated by-
Trey Parker: You just missed Harlow Kinsley lift Jonathan Blade up!
Matt Stone: Aw, crap. We have a match to call?
Trey Parker: Really Matt? This early?
Harlow sits Blade up, the locks her legs around his torso, then places her hands over his mouth. Blade tries to place her hands off of him, but Kinsley has a tight hold on him.
Trey Parker: And a crossface scissorlock from Harlow might take care of Jonathan Blade!
Blade tries to punch at Harlow’s feet, and eventually it gets her legs off of him, but keeps her hands in for the crossface. Eventually, Blade gets to his feet and elbows at Kinsley’s stomach, which eventually forces her to let go. Blade then snapmares her into a seated position, and runs to the ropes in front of her, and dropkicks her in the stomach.
Matt Stone: And she was doing so well, too.
Blade then grabs Harlow’s legs to lock in the sharpshooter, but Kinsley kicks the weirdo off of her. She then rolls to her feet, and smacks Blade across the face. His back to her, Harlow leaps onto Blade’s shoulders and takes him down with a hurricanrana. Harlow goes to pin.
1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
KICKOUT!
Harlow runs to the ropes and leaps for a Lionsault, but Blade rolls to his feet, and Harlow lands hard on the canvas. Blade runs to the ropes and as Harlow rolls to her back, stomps down hard on Kinsley’s stomach.
Trey Parker: And that might’ve knocked the wind out of Harlow!
Matt Stone: If that's the case, see ya nurse!
Blade goes to pin.
1
.
.
.
2
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.
.
KICKOUT!
Blade, getting annoyed that the woman is hard to take down, waits for Harlow to get to her feet, and as she spins towards him, he goes for a clothesline, but Harlow ducks under! The crowd pops.
Trey Parker: Hear that crowd. Looks like they really want to get behind Harlow Kinsely.
Matt Stone: You can't tell me you wouldn't want to. I know I do.
Trey Parker: You're a dick Matt, but you're also totally right.
As she ducks, Harlow takes advantage of this time by going behind and locking in a Full Nelson, then hitting the Dragon Suplex. Blade gets to his feet and runs at themulti-colored haired woman, but Harlow reacts quickly and picks him up from the side. Blade looks to do a tilt-a-whirl sort of move, but Harlow counters whatever it’s supposed to be and hits a backbreaker. Harlow goes to pin!
1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
KICKOUT!
Trey Parker: Harlow’s impressing the crowds quite well. Just listen to this crowd!
Matt Stone: Not surprised. I think they'd cheer for Charles Manson over Jonathan Blade.
Harlow grabs Blade by the head, but Blade shoves her off him and into the ropes, and Harlow leaps up for a hurracanrana as she comes back. But Blade lifts his bodyweight up and readies her for a powerbomb, and hits! Blade looks to pin!
1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
KICKOUT!
Blade picks her up and puts her into position, and them lifter her up onto his shoulders.
Trey Parker: Blade’s going for Triple Threat! This could be it!
Suddenly, before her can go any further, Harlow struggles free and falls backwards, out of Blade’s grasp. She then hits a hard kick to the back of Blade's right knee, causing him to crumble in pain. She then sets him up and hits the Soberdosis. Cover!
1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
3!!!
The ref rings the bell, as this one is over
Amy Schumer: Here is your winner. HARLOW KINSLEY!
Trey Parker: What a victory for this girl's debut.
Matt Stone: No kidding. She nearly popped his knee out in the end there. That was awesome.
Harlow and Blade meet up in the center of the ring, with Blade simply laughing at the multi-colored haired woman. Harlow shakes her head and quickly sends a spinning kick to the ribs of Blade. Blade falls on his one knee and grabs the ribs where he was hit, and Harlow runs to the ropes, bouncing back with an enziguri. Harlow goes to pin.
1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
KICKOUT!
Harlow goes onto the apron and turns to Blade, then slingshots herself back in for what looks like a splash, but Blade rolls out of the way, and Harlow is quick to roll herself for protection. Harlow stands up and turns quickly to her opponent, but Blade is quick to kick her in the gut, and follows with a DDT attempt, but Harlow is able to pick him up for a belly-to-back suplex!
Trey Parker: Whoa! Did you see that!?
Matt Stone: Huhwha? Aw, geez! You woke me up from a great dream. I was mah dick deepthroated by-
Trey Parker: You just missed Harlow Kinsley lift Jonathan Blade up!
Matt Stone: Aw, crap. We have a match to call?
Trey Parker: Really Matt? This early?
Harlow sits Blade up, the locks her legs around his torso, then places her hands over his mouth. Blade tries to place her hands off of him, but Kinsley has a tight hold on him.
Trey Parker: And a crossface scissorlock from Harlow might take care of Jonathan Blade!
Blade tries to punch at Harlow’s feet, and eventually it gets her legs off of him, but keeps her hands in for the crossface. Eventually, Blade gets to his feet and elbows at Kinsley’s stomach, which eventually forces her to let go. Blade then snapmares her into a seated position, and runs to the ropes in front of her, and dropkicks her in the stomach.
Matt Stone: And she was doing so well, too.
Blade then grabs Harlow’s legs to lock in the sharpshooter, but Kinsley kicks the weirdo off of her. She then rolls to her feet, and smacks Blade across the face. His back to her, Harlow leaps onto Blade’s shoulders and takes him down with a hurricanrana. Harlow goes to pin.
1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
KICKOUT!
Harlow runs to the ropes and leaps for a Lionsault, but Blade rolls to his feet, and Harlow lands hard on the canvas. Blade runs to the ropes and as Harlow rolls to her back, stomps down hard on Kinsley’s stomach.
Trey Parker: And that might’ve knocked the wind out of Harlow!
Matt Stone: If that's the case, see ya nurse!
Blade goes to pin.
1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
KICKOUT!
Blade, getting annoyed that the woman is hard to take down, waits for Harlow to get to her feet, and as she spins towards him, he goes for a clothesline, but Harlow ducks under! The crowd pops.
Trey Parker: Hear that crowd. Looks like they really want to get behind Harlow Kinsely.
Matt Stone: You can't tell me you wouldn't want to. I know I do.
Trey Parker: You're a dick Matt, but you're also totally right.
As she ducks, Harlow takes advantage of this time by going behind and locking in a Full Nelson, then hitting the Dragon Suplex. Blade gets to his feet and runs at themulti-colored haired woman, but Harlow reacts quickly and picks him up from the side. Blade looks to do a tilt-a-whirl sort of move, but Harlow counters whatever it’s supposed to be and hits a backbreaker. Harlow goes to pin!
1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
KICKOUT!
Trey Parker: Harlow’s impressing the crowds quite well. Just listen to this crowd!
Matt Stone: Not surprised. I think they'd cheer for Charles Manson over Jonathan Blade.
Harlow grabs Blade by the head, but Blade shoves her off him and into the ropes, and Harlow leaps up for a hurracanrana as she comes back. But Blade lifts his bodyweight up and readies her for a powerbomb, and hits! Blade looks to pin!
1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
KICKOUT!
Blade picks her up and puts her into position, and them lifter her up onto his shoulders.
Trey Parker: Blade’s going for Triple Threat! This could be it!
Suddenly, before her can go any further, Harlow struggles free and falls backwards, out of Blade’s grasp. She then hits a hard kick to the back of Blade's right knee, causing him to crumble in pain. She then sets him up and hits the Soberdosis. Cover!
1
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
3!!!
The ref rings the bell, as this one is over
Amy Schumer: Here is your winner. HARLOW KINSLEY!
Trey Parker: What a victory for this girl's debut.
Matt Stone: No kidding. She nearly popped his knee out in the end there. That was awesome.
Winner: Harlow Kinsley.