Post by Deleted on May 17, 2016 10:44:37 GMT -6
Helluva time for us EWC faithful, huh? Another successful defense of the International Championship, plus, in the first round of Manifest Destiny, we ran the board. The only, and I mean, ONLY fed in Manifest Destiny with multiple reps to advance their entire squad. Their...entire...squad! Sorry, had to slow it down, let certain trash can wielding bozos who wrestle for chip vouchers at Ballys catch up to the rest of the class.
And you wonder WHY you got so much heat when you wrestled the first round in A.C....
Did I say anything false about the old stomping grounds? C'mon, I dig Pettis, and everytime I see Jewels or Mikey Z, they know dear ol' Uncle T-Bird's got love for them like family. But, I saw the attendance records for their last shows; they're STILL playing in that fuckin' glorified banquet room past the progressive slots....
Where you got your ass handed to you, Sleazy Rider! Surprise.....BOXED ADOLESCENCE, ER, I MEAN, BRONX VALESCENCE IN YOUR SHOOT!!*Warning; not the real Bronxy V; just a homeless meth-head with the maturity level of a 13 year old we paid $20 to complete this spoof.*
*shakes his head and chuckles a bit to himself* Figures; you kick up enough shit-piles, vermin come crawling out to swarm you. Howdy, Kenny, I mean, Bronxy. Decide to give your typing fingers a break from getting banned everywhere you type to make yourself look edgy, or is Ramona too busy perfecting her persona by watching Mean Girls on loop to pal around with today?
Ha; you've got jokes. Always a quip with you, always a smart-ass comment....
Always doing something to remind people I'm still just a guy who likes to enjoy life, crack some puns. Nothing wrong with a sense of humor, you should try it sometime. Unless your fucked up kin back home in Stephen King country surgically removed it....
.....Wait, wait, wait....how did you...
Called due diligence, Curly Bob. Trust me, wasn't easy. You're all over the goddamn place. NGW, GIF, 4CW. NJFC. Your neighbor kid's backyard wrestling fed until his old man finally had enough of some creepy Internet Troll who looks like if Brian Pillman pumped a baby into a French poodle "suplexing" his kids.
That's right; I've been everywhere. Japan, A.C., Mexico, 4CW, list goes on and on. I'm one of the most iconic wrestlers currently in the game....
Fabulous. Good for you, really. Not being a You've won a lot of hardware in a lot of places. I mean, took you a grip of time to finally win a big belt in NGW. Hey, who am I to judge? I mean, I've only won 3 World belts in 3 different feds, first shot, first kill, each time and currently enjoy a rep as one of the most reliable and tenured stars on the payroll. Thing I learned over the last couple of years doing this gig is, spoiler alert, fed owners like dealing with people who are dependable, productive, and don't have to resort to coming off like a bitter, snarky pseudo-intellectual ass that's going to get bored with the décor and exit, stage right, every time he starts enjoying a bit of stability. Not very iconic behavior.
EWC is trash....
Yet, you can't keep the name from oozing out your lips, can you? Lot of venom about the joint, and for what reason? I saw your last shoot; Blocky, I can smell hater emitting from your pores....*turns directly to face the camera*....I've met a lot of dumb motherfuckers over the years in wrestling; never have I met a man who got himself banned from a major promotion because he got butt-hurt like he had hemorrhoids over the presentation of a tournament...
One he didn't even BOTHER to sign up for, and insult a newborn kid and their proud parent. Plus, Dookie-Locks, aren't you wrestling in NJFC, the sister fed of EWC? The one WE sponsor, along with this tournament, considering whatever broke-ass popsicle stand you eek a living out of's barely on the radar?
Oh....they do?
Beginning to notice a trend about you not thinking before speaking. Can't be too judgmental; I tried being humane to a walking attention whore on them Internets and realized I was dealing with a diseased mutt that'll just snap on everything in her site due to some deep seated confidence issues. Not surprised you attract a lot of flies; when you're a giant lump of shit, they do fester in your fumes. Anything else?
Okay, try THIS on for size: I've seen a bajillion guys like you in my time. Wanna-be biker boy bad-asses that studied MMA....
And being a whiny, pedantic, over-hyped silver spoon fuck-boy that ran away from home to join the circus because mommy and daddy didn't hug you enough and made you do your chores is mapping out new territory there, Magellan? Christ, how many people in this sport got into it because they think their shitty childhood's are the pre-requisite for greatness in the ring? Daddy used to beat me with coat hangers, and momma bought me K-Mart shoes instead of Jordans, so I'ma grow up one day to be a big, scwary monster in spandex just to show them. Name dropping past teachers, going out of your way to be offensive to everybody because actually being clever and original in your shoots just isn't on the itinerary...ever? Not surprised your folks gave you the cold shoulder. I think they had a good idea of what you'd devolve into and didn't want that stinking up the upholstery. Shit, you got this hypocrisy thing down pat, brother. G'head, unlimited tries at the firing line, on me.
Uh....you bailed on Boardwalk after you lost a couple of matches....
After spending most of 2014 winning the A.C. belt, creating a stable that dominated the fed, and generally changing the culture and atmosphere of the fed. Granted, the A.C. belt reign didn't last for shit, but, that's what a fed like Boardwalk is for; developing your game to move onto the next level. That's what I did; sort of a reverse Bronx career direction move. I've seen that roster; most of it's run-off from bigger federations doing the big fish in a small pond routine. How long before Aidan or Collins decides a ever changing management team, snippy backstage drama, and being with a company that doesn't feel like leaving its comfort zone's not a good look? You would've known all of this if you actually devoted some of your time in front of a computer screen actually doing research instead of relying on a drunk who used to dress in black pajamas and play Daredevil on the streets of A.C. The one who ended up with a loss on his record cause he was more concerned with hitting the bottle than his opponent? There are other things to do on the Web besides prove why your folks investing in birth control would have done the world a huge solid. Any more, this is FUN!!
Fake Bronxy's about fit with rage at this point:You can ask anybody around what Bronx is about...
Oh, I have, bub. I hear a lot of the same things. Talented, but sketchy in the reliability department. Acts like he doesn't give a shit about people's thoughts about him, but is always going out of his way to force people to respect his abilities and opinions. Throws public hissy-fits when shit doesn't go his way, and loves to get cheap, tasteless heat every chance he can, despite the fact everywhere you've gone, you promote yourself as a FACE for an organization. One of the people fans should cheer for even though you give no good reason for, other than you can put on a decent match. Wants everybody to consider him a super serious, in it to win it 110% wrestler motherfucker, yet, it's death threats and displays of blatant emo-ness, and occasionally, it's you pulling the Single White Female routine and obsessing about the actions of a fed-head you've had nothing to do with, and will never have anything to do with, because he had this silly philosophy that he doesn't have enough patience to deal with an unprofessional jerk-off that confuses his lack of social graces and dignity for being cool.
I owned you on Twitter.....*now desperate*
And here....we....GO!!Tony smugly chimes in his Heath Ledger as the Joker voice:Didn't you just cut a shoot against Doc Silver stating that you're more than some basement dweller in a Babylon 5 t-shirt banging on the keyboard bullshit designed specifically to annoy people, and now, you're back on that "King of The Twitty Fuckers" soapbox. You need a pat on the head for being cyberspace's biggest shit-heel throwing gum in people's hair in the back of the classroom? Okay, congratulations. You temporarily made me lose my temper, like dealing with an asshole in front of me in traffic who's driving like Stevie Wonder 'cause he's busy on his Android Yelp'ing what restaurant to go to. You and your gutter rat entourage got to feel better about themselves, and you get a big ol' does of hubris in your veins. Meanwhile, I just shrug it off and go about my business....
Winning matches, making money, propping up my federation, and comfy knowing, unlike you, I get to tell my mother about all the great things I do, and get a response besides "get the fuck out of this house, you spoiled, twitchy reminder to your father why pulling out doesn't always work."
That's why our tweeked out bit player suddenly stops and breaks character:Jesus Christ, maybe it's the dope talking, but this Bronxy muthafuckah sounds like the most miserable, immature, delusional piece of shit out there. And this is coming from a guy who steals change from people's cupholders in their cars.
Oh, there's a lot of words I can use to describe Schlocky Convalescence: bitter, petty, immature, trite, vapid, disloyal, self-absorbed, obnoxious, ignorant...
Hypocrite, considering he tried to rag on who I am and what I do on the side when his own sob story about the homestead kicking him to the curb for being a pimple on their ass's about as banal and paint by the numbers as one can get.....
Mercenarial, overrated, deep seated psychological issues with stability and generally conducting himself like a 5 year old throwing a fit in Wal-Mart, while trying to maintain a façade of a complex, insightful warrior philosopher.....
Lousy at math:Tony looks off and speaks to the producer:How old is this bag of dick-tips, Andrea? 28? Hmmmm, guess Perry Powerball-er should've broke out the Leap Frog for him when it came to figuring out his length of time on this world....4cwrestling.com/forum//index.php?topic=201.0
28, 24; it's only the difference between presidential administrations. Hey, in-between dumping out his emotional purse out on a sandy beach in front of a camera lens like he was doing a Michael Bolton music video and doing everything in his power to get banned from every social media channel out there, not a whole lot of time to get the fundamentals right....
But, I can wrap up this Bronx feces-burrito with a tortilla wrap-esqe one word descriptor: Schmuck!!
Because only a schmuck would keep harboring a bullshit grudge against somebody and their company because they were the one that acted the ass and got roasted for it, yet still work for a company that's attached to EWC at the hip. Only a schmuck would be miserable enough to rag on somebody for enjoying a few puffs and laughs because he's so fundamentally rancid and chaffed from the stick up his ass Pa Valescence jammed there and broke off. Only a schmuck would consider himself, a perpetually butt-hurt and snide blue-blood runaway who goes out of his way to espouse the worst virtues in humanity, somebody worth cheering for, or himself wise from taking counsel from A.C.'s village drunkard who's fighting to save his career in BW instead of actually researching his opposition. Only a schmuck, who has stated it himself it's been a career detriment, would get bent out of shape because somebody dares remind him his lack of commitment and hideous mutant hybrid of Brian Pillman and Donald Trump puking verbal dysentery onto a microphone is holding him back from being a truly great competitor instead of a potential train wreck people rubberneck to see on the freeway.
And only an unrepentantly insipid, emotionally stunted, advertised more than a lousy summer movie trying to compete with better pictures, fuckboy gun-for-hire looking like a back-up dancer in an 80's pop/funk fusion band would have the balls and stupidity to think he'll simply walk over the pound for pound best fighter in EWC.
I can see the Twatters going nuts after I lump you up like sugar cubes come fight night....
Who's the guy with the shit attitude and work ethic? Who's the idiot that hangs with losers even more clueless and degenerate than he is? Who's the dipshit that got himself a fresh new heart palpitation for trying to piss n the shoes of the wrong guy? And you'll tap into whatever device you use across the board five simple characters....
It me.
Sweet, so....*rubs his hands together*....can I get my $20 now?
Ooooh:he grins devilishlyAbout that.....
Next thing our nickel bagging bit actor knows, Tony's got him against the plain white wall used as a backdrop, and slaps the cuffs on him.
What the fuck, man?
Donnie Mattheson, Dade County Sheriffs would like to have a word with you for skipping out on $20k bound for breaking and entering and vandalism.
You sneaky fucker.....owwww....*Tony tightens the cuffs*....you tricked me!
Duh, genius. You think I specifically requested YOU for this bit for your thespian chops? Please, it's Miami. If I wanted to find a greasy, sel-obsessed, childish fuck-up to to use as satire material, I could've chosen any square inch of beach or nightclub here to get it.
The production bell rings, and Tony looks back at everyone on set:That's a wrap, people. Lunch on Mr. Sky Blue here; make sure to thank him before he ends up back in the booty house.
Aw, c'mon, cut me some slack, bro; if I go back to county, I'm fucked!
As Tony opens the door to the parking lot:Well, look at the bright side, sport....
At least you won't be Bronxy, especially after what happens to his punk ass this week.