Post by Andrew Jackson™ on Jul 15, 2016 21:47:57 GMT -6
TALES BY ABDUL KABEER PT 1
No one ever accused me of being smart, but hey that means I am innocent until proven guilty, that should mean I’m smart no? Or is it the other way around; anyways I grew up in a small village called Merbeh in UAE. I loved my childhood; wake up in the morning, get a cup of tea and some stale bread that was never enough but nothing a couple fists full of sand at the playground wouldn’t solve. I’ve always been happy, I mean why not be? It’s a beautiful world out there, I enjoy every bit of it every day; it always puzzled me how people could walk past the trees and feel the wind and just get used to that shit, it’s a miracle happening, these biatches (Like they say in this new music I hear in the States) dance to the song of the wind. But yes I digress, these tales are just a way for you all to get to know me better, have a couple laughs maybe, because my boss Sheikh Raslan suddenly has a stick up his ass (or that’s what the maid said and I’ve asked him to let me reach in and pull it out but he slapped me and let me off with a warning for reaching for his backside) and doesn’t give you guys the comic relief you need, so let’s begin.
So this story is about my brother Jabbar and I will keep this really as short as I can. When we were kids my mom used to tell us we were destined for greatness and no one believed it more than Jabbar, we lived on the 3rd floor of a building so old, the old ass oak trees across the street used to hit him up like “Yo gramps when you gonna die”. But it was our home you know, our creaking lovable disaster. We were a poor family and I mean mama sometimes be like “Abdul you better catch that dinner if you want to eat tonight”; Mama said they tasted like chicken but since I left and actually ate chicken now I know they taste like rats.
On one glorious day my mom brought home a Disney dvd, Aladdin and the 7 thieves and we watched that shit and were so excited. Hey you, DON’T STOP READING NOW ITS ALMOST OVER! Anyways yeah, Jabbar loved it so much he’d watch it 5 times a day for the next 2 days studying Aladdin’s technique on the carpet; he was always the smart one in the family. And on the third day, he finally did it “I’VE GOT IT” he said and he took our carpet and said “It’s not the carpets that’s magic, its Aladdins belief”, wow I he had cracked. On to the balcony he went, he turned back and gave me a wink, I could hear the triumphant tunes in my head, the greatness mother always spoke of, Jabbar was about to achieve it, like an astronaut about to go to space, like a Jordan taking the game winning shot. This is it the money shot in a POV, the ahhh ahhh ahh before the juice, the…
“No mom, stop screaming you pussy he is just playing dead, he flew a little bit on the carpet and then when he screamed I knew he just wanted to trick me”
I don’t understand why she cried till today you know, that day my brother first pretended to be dead, head carved open, didn’t flinch when I tickled him. He’s good. And since then he went into hiding, when he does come out of hiding he would have accomplished greatness twice, he flew on a carpet and we would hold the Guinness record for longest hide and go seek game in history.
No one ever accused me of being smart, but hey that means I am innocent until proven guilty, that should mean I’m smart no? Or is it the other way around; anyways I grew up in a small village called Merbeh in UAE. I loved my childhood; wake up in the morning, get a cup of tea and some stale bread that was never enough but nothing a couple fists full of sand at the playground wouldn’t solve. I’ve always been happy, I mean why not be? It’s a beautiful world out there, I enjoy every bit of it every day; it always puzzled me how people could walk past the trees and feel the wind and just get used to that shit, it’s a miracle happening, these biatches (Like they say in this new music I hear in the States) dance to the song of the wind. But yes I digress, these tales are just a way for you all to get to know me better, have a couple laughs maybe, because my boss Sheikh Raslan suddenly has a stick up his ass (or that’s what the maid said and I’ve asked him to let me reach in and pull it out but he slapped me and let me off with a warning for reaching for his backside) and doesn’t give you guys the comic relief you need, so let’s begin.
So this story is about my brother Jabbar and I will keep this really as short as I can. When we were kids my mom used to tell us we were destined for greatness and no one believed it more than Jabbar, we lived on the 3rd floor of a building so old, the old ass oak trees across the street used to hit him up like “Yo gramps when you gonna die”. But it was our home you know, our creaking lovable disaster. We were a poor family and I mean mama sometimes be like “Abdul you better catch that dinner if you want to eat tonight”; Mama said they tasted like chicken but since I left and actually ate chicken now I know they taste like rats.
On one glorious day my mom brought home a Disney dvd, Aladdin and the 7 thieves and we watched that shit and were so excited. Hey you, DON’T STOP READING NOW ITS ALMOST OVER! Anyways yeah, Jabbar loved it so much he’d watch it 5 times a day for the next 2 days studying Aladdin’s technique on the carpet; he was always the smart one in the family. And on the third day, he finally did it “I’VE GOT IT” he said and he took our carpet and said “It’s not the carpets that’s magic, its Aladdins belief”, wow I he had cracked. On to the balcony he went, he turned back and gave me a wink, I could hear the triumphant tunes in my head, the greatness mother always spoke of, Jabbar was about to achieve it, like an astronaut about to go to space, like a Jordan taking the game winning shot. This is it the money shot in a POV, the ahhh ahhh ahh before the juice, the…
“No mom, stop screaming you pussy he is just playing dead, he flew a little bit on the carpet and then when he screamed I knew he just wanted to trick me”
I don’t understand why she cried till today you know, that day my brother first pretended to be dead, head carved open, didn’t flinch when I tickled him. He’s good. And since then he went into hiding, when he does come out of hiding he would have accomplished greatness twice, he flew on a carpet and we would hold the Guinness record for longest hide and go seek game in history.
