Post by Drew Stevenson on Sept 19, 2016 13:55:48 GMT -6
The light humming of a small motor fills my ears as I am lying on the bed, looking up at the ceiling fan which spins in a very methodical fashion. Watching each blade pass by at a very high speed, all I can do is think which is what I have been doing as of late, a lot actually.
As my eyes close, I take in a deep breath while hearing that sound in my head, the sound of flatlining, the sound of being dead. Now for those wondering, I don't mean being dead in the literal sense, no, I mean being dead in a different sense: one that I can't explain but one that I have been trying to figure out as of late. Opening my dark brown eyes, I lift my head up and look down at the edge of my bed, three beautiful championship belts are at my feet and are staring back at me, metaphorically speaking of course.
Earlier on in the week, I had a wonderful conversation with my mentor, the man who took me in, trained me, and groomed me for this business and I thought that we had it all figured out but now that I am lying here, was I wrong? That's the thought that has been running through my head as of late, all day, every day and I don't know how to remove it.
Sitting up on my bed, I reach over to my right and grab my iPhone from off of the nightstand. Pressing the circular button at the bottom, the screen beams to life as I check all of my notifications to see what is going on in the business. Realizing that everything is going pretty slow, I let out a sigh of disappointment as I then place my iPhone back onto the small nightstand next to my bed. Swinging my feet off of the bed, I rise to my feet, fully dressed as it is in the middle of the day. Exiting my bedroom, I walk into the bathroom and place my hands on each side of me porcelain sink: bringing my head up, for the first time in a long time, I look into the mirror and take a good look at exactly who I am.
Not liking the man that I have become, my jaw clinches as does my grip on each side of the sink. Lowering my head as I can't look any further, I realize that while I have achieved a lot of success as of late; I had to trade who I was in order to get it and that's what disappoints me the most.
Now I understand why I have flatlined, because I have given up everything, including my very well being simply to be the best. I haven't done it on my own as of late, I'm not the same man who I was when I broke into the business, no, I’m different – I have changed drastically and that's because I have lost myself.
Beeeeeppppp…
As my eyes close, I take in a deep breath while hearing that sound in my head, the sound of flatlining, the sound of being dead. Now for those wondering, I don't mean being dead in the literal sense, no, I mean being dead in a different sense: one that I can't explain but one that I have been trying to figure out as of late. Opening my dark brown eyes, I lift my head up and look down at the edge of my bed, three beautiful championship belts are at my feet and are staring back at me, metaphorically speaking of course.
Earlier on in the week, I had a wonderful conversation with my mentor, the man who took me in, trained me, and groomed me for this business and I thought that we had it all figured out but now that I am lying here, was I wrong? That's the thought that has been running through my head as of late, all day, every day and I don't know how to remove it.
Sitting up on my bed, I reach over to my right and grab my iPhone from off of the nightstand. Pressing the circular button at the bottom, the screen beams to life as I check all of my notifications to see what is going on in the business. Realizing that everything is going pretty slow, I let out a sigh of disappointment as I then place my iPhone back onto the small nightstand next to my bed. Swinging my feet off of the bed, I rise to my feet, fully dressed as it is in the middle of the day. Exiting my bedroom, I walk into the bathroom and place my hands on each side of me porcelain sink: bringing my head up, for the first time in a long time, I look into the mirror and take a good look at exactly who I am.
Not liking the man that I have become, my jaw clinches as does my grip on each side of the sink. Lowering my head as I can't look any further, I realize that while I have achieved a lot of success as of late; I had to trade who I was in order to get it and that's what disappoints me the most.
Beeeeeppppp…
Now I understand why I have flatlined, because I have given up everything, including my very well being simply to be the best. I haven't done it on my own as of late, I'm not the same man who I was when I broke into the business, no, I’m different – I have changed drastically and that's because I have lost myself.
