Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2017 14:04:12 GMT -6
EWC Headquarters, US Branch
New York, New York
Just a few days ago
Ladies and Gentlemen, my new business manager...
Name: Harold Goldgraft
Occupation: Currently retired former inspector for the New Jersey State Police. Now a criminal defense lawyer and one of Tony's former bosses over at Boardwalk Wrestling. Now, he works for ME!!
One thing you do NOT want to do is piss off a cranky Jewish fella who's spent most of his adult life chasing after mobsters and killers. That's what the security officer in Mac's officer is learning the hard way.
Harold Goldgraft spent years back in the 70's and 80's with N.J. State Police's Organized Crime Task Force. The guy spent decades putting guidos with low educations and huge rap sheets behind bars. After nearly 3 decades fighting crime, he earned his Master's in Criminal Justice, and became one of Atlantic City's most successful criminal attorneys. Despite the old Hebrew and me constant ball-busting each other, we get along great because we both have the same philosophy...
Some dip-shit fucks with our paper, we take said idiot behind the shed and royally fuck them!
Seriously, Mac; how did you last 2 decades in the biz pulling shit like this, huh? No wonder Tony and Rothstein pulled your pants down in court and spanked you all! You would have thought losing over $200 million in federal court would have smartened you people up...
But...OH NO!!! Seems like being a schmuck is incurable, and I'm sitting here in a goddamn schmuck intensive care ward!
You see, despite my treatment in 2016, and despite me torching Mac's pasty white Canuck ass where it counts; in the pocketbook, I STILL, for some reason, want to be part of this company. I still want to do what I love for a living for the best wrestling corporation on Earth. And, that's a huge statement, considering how from top to bottom, this company's management team is a pack of special needs kids. Seriously; they let Kid Cannabis extort his/hers/whatever the fuck that thing is now into rewriting my contract; this is how stupid they are for reals!
Then they had the nerve to nominate me for most hated of the year; yes folks, this is the type of woefully reductive reasoning our EWC Executive team uses to compensate for coherent thinking!
So, you can understand why I have little incentive to personally be here at this meeting, and why, when it comes to my new contract, I'm not fucking around. Eli Rothstein wrote it, and my man Dirty Harry...
Is here to ENFORCE IT!
And I don't understand what the hell is wrong with you meshugana bastards; you have little leverage you can lean on.
You have repeated, illegally, and blatantly gone out of your way to keep Tony, a former EWC Champion, from his rightful title shot, while giving opportunities to all sorts of schmucks who didn't earn them. You repeatedly booked him in tag team matches despite it CLEARLY STATING ON HIS DEAL YOU ARE TO NEVER DO THAT...
You did it twice. Like nobody was going to fucking notice!
And even after he left, you fuckers STILL had the nerve to throw shade at him.
That circle jerk of an awards show; lemme ask you something....
Ashton Drake's spent months boring people to death with his pedantic and morose promos, and also made not on, but 2 major belts look bad by not doing shit with any of them; you go out of the way to treat him like Alexander marching into Bablyon. Meanwhile, Tony has a history setting run with the International Title, and scores more defenses in his time than that idiot Kurt Newman....
Not a fucking word of acknowledgement or thanks from any of you fuckers for what that kid did for your company.
No wonder he tells me you people make him sick; I'm about to ralph up my cippinio I had for lunch being in your presence. I expected this level of ineptitude and ungratful-ness from other companies, but EWC?! You're supposed to be the Cadillac of wrestling feds, but you people act like it's a fucking '93 Dodge Neon with a leaking goddamn transmission!
Of course, some on staff try to argue, but the Hebrew Hammer makes kosher burger meat out of them. Hell, I think Eve Chase peed herself a little bit when Harold turned that awful gaze upon here.
I don't hire people who are nice, or sugar coat shit and put on a dog and pony show. I hire people who get results. And Harold...
Pay this motherfucker enough, he'll go into the burning bush and yell at God himself for fucking over Moses like that! On cue, he slides a contract over to Mac...
This is how this shit's going to work....
You're going to agree to the terms of this contract! Every one, to the letter.
The terms are simple....
1. No more tag team matches...PERIOD! EVER!! You clowns even THINK about saddling him up with a partner, I will bury this sweatshop of a fucking fed in court! You think losing $200 mil was bad...
How's it going to look when we take everything from Kojak *points at mac* over here because nobody likes reading big words on a piece of paper? And I mean EVERYTHING!!
2. You will not mention Tony in any way shape or form in EWC Magazine for here on forth. I've read that fucking used maxi-pad posing as a periodical. It's shit. I've seen more intelligent and substantial content inside the dumpsters behind Bally's fucking casino! Anybody that's dropping $7 on it can stop and save themselves some money by cracking themselves in the head with a hammer. It has the same exact effect.
3. Nobody on staff or on the board gets to talk to Tony without his or my authorization. Nobody, not even Mac. You got something to say to him, you tell me. Anybody in this room does anything with him besides ask for a light for their cigarettes...
See term 1 about what the penalty is!
And finally, this isn't a demand, more of a polite suggestion....
Would it hurt anybody in this company to allow Tony to at least HAVE a chance to fight for the Undisputed Championship?! C'mon, this guy's busted his ass for this fed; the shit he went through representing this place in Manifest Destiny alone....
He just wants what he's earned, guys. That's all he's ever wanted.
Of course, somebody brings up some of the shit I've done, Harold responds...
Tony's fully aware of what he's done. And frankly, he isn't apologizing for any of it. Cannabis had that coming. But, he understands your trepidations. So...
He's willing to do something to let you all know in his contract...no hard feelings.
Fast forward past all that legal mumbo-jumbo; here's the skinny on Tony's new payscale....
Amount to be paid out to Mr. Savage for the duration of the contract: Zero dollars and zero cents.
Mac: Is he serious? He doesn't want ANY money from us!?
Yeah, I know. Hate to sound like a stereotype, but I nearly had an embolism when he stated that. But frankly, he doesn't need your money.
Especially since he's already dug out $200+ mil from your pockets as is!
Yup; we're not letting that horse die anytime soon, motherfuckers. Get used to it!
The kid's never had any issues with making money; he doesn't need yours anymore.
You don't want to sign it; fine by me. I get paid anyways. But...
We're trying to make peace here with you people. But in this negotiation process...
*leans over and looks at the Executive board* We're the ones holding all the cards in this poker game. Do you really want us to expose your bad hand?
****
0500 hours Local Time
20 minutes away and 40,000 feet above Aleppo, Syria
1/4/2016
Alright, bitches, check all your goddamn gear now, because we're not going to get a chance once we touch ground to fuck about. As soon as we land in the LZ, we're gonna be up to our nuttsacks in primitive, sand eating fuckheads trying to kill us because we like bacon and Pornhub. Any target that engages you, don't hesitate; just kill the bastard. Hell, if they're carrying anything more dangerous than their groceries...*cocks his pistol*...you know how to handle that!
A cargo plane filled with mercs and world class killers popping clips into rifles and sharpening knives, flying into arguably the most active war zone on Earth. Going in to pursue a weak lead, and frankly, there's a real damn good chance the next time you see me on your screens, I'll be in a body bag.
I haven't had this much damn fun in MONTHS!! And it's only gonna get more fun once our boots hit the ground.
After nearly a month searching every dark crevice we could dig up, I finally found a lead on somebody who might know who wants me in a body bag for $34 million. Weeks of uncertainty, now I'm going to answers...
And I don't care how many corpses I have to leave behind to get them!
With Goldgraft fixing my problems with the company, I can finally get back to doing what I do best. And what I do best is simple...
Somebody fucks with me, thinks they can mess with what I hold dear, they get a visit from me...
And one visit from me; you'll never want to see me ever again.
Don't believe me; heh...
Just watch what happens next; it'll re-affirm what I'v e been saying.
An uncertain future, a rep of violence and betrayal whether warranted or not that these dumb fucks'll try to exploit, and a whole squad of wrestlers and executives who foolishly believe they can hold me back. To most, it sounds like Hell...
To me...it's sounding like good times ahead! And a lot of wrestlers bleeding profusely for their idiocy.
10 minutes from the drop point. The only lights illuminating the oldest city on Earth these days are the fires from the burning buildings and the explosions as I'm watching a civilization rip itself apart from the air.
Aleppo is nothing but death and fire and despair these days.
God...I forgot how much I liked this place!
TBC
New York, New York
Just a few days ago
Ladies and Gentlemen, my new business manager...
Name: Harold Goldgraft
Occupation: Currently retired former inspector for the New Jersey State Police. Now a criminal defense lawyer and one of Tony's former bosses over at Boardwalk Wrestling. Now, he works for ME!!
One thing you do NOT want to do is piss off a cranky Jewish fella who's spent most of his adult life chasing after mobsters and killers. That's what the security officer in Mac's officer is learning the hard way.
Harold Goldgraft spent years back in the 70's and 80's with N.J. State Police's Organized Crime Task Force. The guy spent decades putting guidos with low educations and huge rap sheets behind bars. After nearly 3 decades fighting crime, he earned his Master's in Criminal Justice, and became one of Atlantic City's most successful criminal attorneys. Despite the old Hebrew and me constant ball-busting each other, we get along great because we both have the same philosophy...
Some dip-shit fucks with our paper, we take said idiot behind the shed and royally fuck them!
Seriously, Mac; how did you last 2 decades in the biz pulling shit like this, huh? No wonder Tony and Rothstein pulled your pants down in court and spanked you all! You would have thought losing over $200 million in federal court would have smartened you people up...
But...OH NO!!! Seems like being a schmuck is incurable, and I'm sitting here in a goddamn schmuck intensive care ward!
You see, despite my treatment in 2016, and despite me torching Mac's pasty white Canuck ass where it counts; in the pocketbook, I STILL, for some reason, want to be part of this company. I still want to do what I love for a living for the best wrestling corporation on Earth. And, that's a huge statement, considering how from top to bottom, this company's management team is a pack of special needs kids. Seriously; they let Kid Cannabis extort his/hers/whatever the fuck that thing is now into rewriting my contract; this is how stupid they are for reals!
Then they had the nerve to nominate me for most hated of the year; yes folks, this is the type of woefully reductive reasoning our EWC Executive team uses to compensate for coherent thinking!
So, you can understand why I have little incentive to personally be here at this meeting, and why, when it comes to my new contract, I'm not fucking around. Eli Rothstein wrote it, and my man Dirty Harry...
Is here to ENFORCE IT!
And I don't understand what the hell is wrong with you meshugana bastards; you have little leverage you can lean on.
You have repeated, illegally, and blatantly gone out of your way to keep Tony, a former EWC Champion, from his rightful title shot, while giving opportunities to all sorts of schmucks who didn't earn them. You repeatedly booked him in tag team matches despite it CLEARLY STATING ON HIS DEAL YOU ARE TO NEVER DO THAT...
You did it twice. Like nobody was going to fucking notice!
And even after he left, you fuckers STILL had the nerve to throw shade at him.
That circle jerk of an awards show; lemme ask you something....
Ashton Drake's spent months boring people to death with his pedantic and morose promos, and also made not on, but 2 major belts look bad by not doing shit with any of them; you go out of the way to treat him like Alexander marching into Bablyon. Meanwhile, Tony has a history setting run with the International Title, and scores more defenses in his time than that idiot Kurt Newman....
Not a fucking word of acknowledgement or thanks from any of you fuckers for what that kid did for your company.
No wonder he tells me you people make him sick; I'm about to ralph up my cippinio I had for lunch being in your presence. I expected this level of ineptitude and ungratful-ness from other companies, but EWC?! You're supposed to be the Cadillac of wrestling feds, but you people act like it's a fucking '93 Dodge Neon with a leaking goddamn transmission!
Of course, some on staff try to argue, but the Hebrew Hammer makes kosher burger meat out of them. Hell, I think Eve Chase peed herself a little bit when Harold turned that awful gaze upon here.
I don't hire people who are nice, or sugar coat shit and put on a dog and pony show. I hire people who get results. And Harold...
Pay this motherfucker enough, he'll go into the burning bush and yell at God himself for fucking over Moses like that! On cue, he slides a contract over to Mac...
This is how this shit's going to work....
You're going to agree to the terms of this contract! Every one, to the letter.
The terms are simple....
1. No more tag team matches...PERIOD! EVER!! You clowns even THINK about saddling him up with a partner, I will bury this sweatshop of a fucking fed in court! You think losing $200 mil was bad...
How's it going to look when we take everything from Kojak *points at mac* over here because nobody likes reading big words on a piece of paper? And I mean EVERYTHING!!
2. You will not mention Tony in any way shape or form in EWC Magazine for here on forth. I've read that fucking used maxi-pad posing as a periodical. It's shit. I've seen more intelligent and substantial content inside the dumpsters behind Bally's fucking casino! Anybody that's dropping $7 on it can stop and save themselves some money by cracking themselves in the head with a hammer. It has the same exact effect.
3. Nobody on staff or on the board gets to talk to Tony without his or my authorization. Nobody, not even Mac. You got something to say to him, you tell me. Anybody in this room does anything with him besides ask for a light for their cigarettes...
See term 1 about what the penalty is!
And finally, this isn't a demand, more of a polite suggestion....
Would it hurt anybody in this company to allow Tony to at least HAVE a chance to fight for the Undisputed Championship?! C'mon, this guy's busted his ass for this fed; the shit he went through representing this place in Manifest Destiny alone....
He just wants what he's earned, guys. That's all he's ever wanted.
Of course, somebody brings up some of the shit I've done, Harold responds...
Tony's fully aware of what he's done. And frankly, he isn't apologizing for any of it. Cannabis had that coming. But, he understands your trepidations. So...
He's willing to do something to let you all know in his contract...no hard feelings.
Fast forward past all that legal mumbo-jumbo; here's the skinny on Tony's new payscale....
Amount to be paid out to Mr. Savage for the duration of the contract: Zero dollars and zero cents.
Mac: Is he serious? He doesn't want ANY money from us!?
Yeah, I know. Hate to sound like a stereotype, but I nearly had an embolism when he stated that. But frankly, he doesn't need your money.
Especially since he's already dug out $200+ mil from your pockets as is!
Yup; we're not letting that horse die anytime soon, motherfuckers. Get used to it!
The kid's never had any issues with making money; he doesn't need yours anymore.
You don't want to sign it; fine by me. I get paid anyways. But...
We're trying to make peace here with you people. But in this negotiation process...
*leans over and looks at the Executive board* We're the ones holding all the cards in this poker game. Do you really want us to expose your bad hand?
****
0500 hours Local Time
20 minutes away and 40,000 feet above Aleppo, Syria
1/4/2016
Alright, bitches, check all your goddamn gear now, because we're not going to get a chance once we touch ground to fuck about. As soon as we land in the LZ, we're gonna be up to our nuttsacks in primitive, sand eating fuckheads trying to kill us because we like bacon and Pornhub. Any target that engages you, don't hesitate; just kill the bastard. Hell, if they're carrying anything more dangerous than their groceries...*cocks his pistol*...you know how to handle that!
A cargo plane filled with mercs and world class killers popping clips into rifles and sharpening knives, flying into arguably the most active war zone on Earth. Going in to pursue a weak lead, and frankly, there's a real damn good chance the next time you see me on your screens, I'll be in a body bag.
I haven't had this much damn fun in MONTHS!! And it's only gonna get more fun once our boots hit the ground.
After nearly a month searching every dark crevice we could dig up, I finally found a lead on somebody who might know who wants me in a body bag for $34 million. Weeks of uncertainty, now I'm going to answers...
And I don't care how many corpses I have to leave behind to get them!
With Goldgraft fixing my problems with the company, I can finally get back to doing what I do best. And what I do best is simple...
Somebody fucks with me, thinks they can mess with what I hold dear, they get a visit from me...
And one visit from me; you'll never want to see me ever again.
Don't believe me; heh...
Just watch what happens next; it'll re-affirm what I'v e been saying.
An uncertain future, a rep of violence and betrayal whether warranted or not that these dumb fucks'll try to exploit, and a whole squad of wrestlers and executives who foolishly believe they can hold me back. To most, it sounds like Hell...
To me...it's sounding like good times ahead! And a lot of wrestlers bleeding profusely for their idiocy.
10 minutes from the drop point. The only lights illuminating the oldest city on Earth these days are the fires from the burning buildings and the explosions as I'm watching a civilization rip itself apart from the air.
Aleppo is nothing but death and fire and despair these days.
God...I forgot how much I liked this place!
TBC