Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2017 16:51:30 GMT -6
OOC NOTE: So, this was meant to go up not long after my TV title match against Harvey, but time issues and a lack of creative motivation got in the way. However, I decided to finish and post it now because I feel it gives some much needed character development, and because I was in the mood to write it now two or so weeks after the match. Enjoy.
MANCHESTER ARENA
MANCHESTER, ENGLAND
A COUPLE MINUTES AFTER THE FNR #416 MAIN EVENT
The medic had described the scene as a bloodbath, but Toni shrugged the comment off as exaggeration. Blood would wash away, wounds would heal, and that match was no different than what Toni had been doing back in the UK for some underground promotions. And yet, the pain felt even more crippling. Bandages could cover up the injuries, and painkillers could numb Toni to some extent, but there was a bigger pain that was nagging at her. No, if it was 'nagging' it would be merciful – it was drilling into her. Boring into her skull, sending tremors down her nerves, and tearing at her muscles. Failure.
Though she was holding it together, just as the stitches were holding together her flesh. She sat in her locker room, hands still wrapped in bloodied tape and gear still on. Her gym bag was beside her, and inside she heard her phone going off. But she ignored it, too tired to rifle through her belongings to retrieve it. She sat alone, and that was how she wanted to remain for the time being. Harvey had gone off, probably to celebrate his win, and the Krays were uninterested in even looking at Toni once they were through the curtain. And as far as Toni knew, those were the only people who would be interested in seeing her – and none of them were there. However, she liked it like that, being alone and silent.
A sound soon broke the silence. The locker room door creaked open, slow and hesitant, and Toni turned her attention to it. Peering out from behind it was a man she hated seeing: Dan. He had offered to manage her for this match – “just like old times”, he said – but she didn't want him at ringside. Dragging any more sentimentality into this match would ruin her, she was sure. But what did it matter? She had failed anyway. And as Dan tentatively stepped into the room, closing the door behind him, Toni felt the first few tears stinging at the corners of her eyes.
“Toni,” Dan mumbled as he approached his former client. She held her head up high, even though the strain of doing so hurt her sore neck, and the tears fell silently, leaving streaks through the faint red stains of blood on her skin. “Why are you crying? You've got nothing to be upset about, that match was ace.”
“I'm not upset, I'm angry.” Dan joined Toni, sitting down beside her on the locker room bench, but Toni didn't acknowledge him with her gaze. “I'm just angry at myself. Look at what I said, what I did, and what I said I was gonna do...and then I failed. I fuckin' failed!”
“You had a great match. And you and Harvey are still friends, right? You lost, but...it was a good main event.”
Toni shook her head, a tired, wheezing laugh slipping through her bleeding lips. “We don't get rewards for participation.”
Before Dan could argue his point any further, the sound of the locker room door opening snatched both of the Brits' attention. The air went cold and still as Ricki and Rebecca Kray marched in, the funeral in the middle of an already grim day. To say they wore the looks of disappointment would be an understatement, which became especially more daunting when they caught sight of Dan. The Brits and the twins stared each other down, until eventually, someone spoke.
“What are you doing here?” Ricki questioned, malice directed towards Dan.
“Why are you two here?” Toni shot back. “I thought you were already gone.”
“We were just leaving,” Ricki replied, stance and tone adjusting to accommodate the loose cannon that was Toni. “But you are our client, we are allowed to be here.”
“I don't want you here.” Ricki went to say more, and Dan gave Toni a hopeful look, but she was quick to fire out another round. “I don't want anyone here. So leave, all of you.”
“Toni--”
“Now.” The word ricocheted around the room like a bullet, striking through all three of her victims before lodging itself in her own skull. Her head was throbbing, the pain increasing as the Krays and Dan filed out of the room. The final click of the locker room door as it shut behind them set into motion a painful wave of sensation across Toni's head, and she allowed her hands to catch it as her body lurched forward. She should have been partying – after that outro to Rampage, people probably expected her to be doing just that – but her body wouldn't allow it. Every joint hurt, every inch of skin screamed.
But it wasn't as loud as her phone, as it continued to ring in her bag. She reached inside, fishing around as if she were poking through the guts of her own broken self. Though she eventually managed to find her phone, a quick glance at the caller ID informing her it was Rachel. Of course it was. Who else would bother with Toni right then? Better yet, who else would believe Toni could deal with them at that moment? Regardless, the blonde let the call go to voicemail – she didn't have it in her to reject the call outright – and then put her phone down to search for something else. Something more valuable to her then than a familiar voice.
She rifled through her bag again, this time finding something she wasn't going to pass up on, despite the fact that it had the Krays' seal of approval. The small bottle had been gifted to her back when she first started out in EWC, and the twins had marketed it to her as pain relief – strong pain relief. Illegal pain relief as well, if the Krays' reputation was anything to go by. And though she had told herself she wouldn't take any more after the nightmares that correlated all too well with the intake of these little white pills, she needed something to release the pain that was building up in every inch of muscle in her body, as well as within her head.
She stared down at the two pills she had poured into the palm of her hand, considering them for a moment. They may not have been the best for her, but if they knocked her out for a few hours then she would gladly overdose on them. Even though her throat was dry and it hurt to just open her mouth, she swallowed the pills down in one go, feeling a sense of placebo relief as she rest her head against the lockers behind her. Her body seemed to relax, her eyes slowly closing. And before she knew it, Toni was out cold.
APARTMENT #104, GENERIC APARTMENT BLOCK
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA
TWO DAYS AFTER FNR #416
The pain came before the nightmares in terms of issues that needed to be dealt with. And so, the pills continued to find their way into Toni's system. She knew they were the cause of the terrors that haunted her at night – the visions of blood, violence, monsters, and failure – but she couldn't stand to deal with the ache that ricocheted through her body every day. It felt like every movement was agony, like every thought brought with it a searing pain. The pills were killing her, but they were at least murdering her softly.
She would take waking up with a cold sweat over not moving at all, just as she had been doing these past couple of days. Just as she was doing now. Toni sat up in bed, resting against the headboard and occupied with the pill bottle in her hands. She couldn't see it completely through the dark, though she felt it: the ridged cap, the worn label she had read a thousand times and never gave much attention to, the weight of every capsule the bottle held. God, did she feel that weight. Not just in her hand, but in her heart as well. In her mind too – the part that wasn't scarred and broken, that was. She played with the cap, unscrewing and then tightening it every few seconds, a part of her contemplating taking one more. Two was the limit, and she was halfway there. Maybe three couldn't hurt.
“Toni.” She was broken out of her stupor by an all too familiar voice, one that reminded her of where she was. Toni was in Rachel's bed, one that was far more comfortable than her own. There were no springs burrowing into her ribs, no lingering scents from unremarkable one night stands, and she always felt a warm and embracing presence beside her whenever she woke up in the middle of the night. And that presence was currently addressing her. “Are you okay?”
So much for not being able to see each other due to 'circumstances'. Toni felt a hand on her shoulder, angled so that it avoided touching the harsh bruise that had formed. Glancing over, she could see Rachel in the twilight darkness. The details of her being were softened, out of focus due to the lack of proper lighting in the room, but she was there. And Toni didn't need to see her face properly to know she was concerned.
“I'm fine,” Toni responded, though even in the dark, her lie could be seen.
Rachel's hand trailed down Toni's arm, following light scars that Toni hadn't even realised she had. And then it stopped at her wrist, the death of movement sudden. She must have seen the pill bottle in Toni's hand, fingers clasped tightly around it. Toni almost felt ashamed – 'almost' being the keyword.
“How many have you had?”
“One.” Though she couldn't bring herself to look at Rachel, she wasn't lying.
“And is it working?”
Toni nodded. She didn't feel the pain as much, so the pill was doing something at least. As Rachel's hand moved closer to the bottle, Toni allowed her grip to relax, knowing full well that the reporter was only helping. The sooner the drugs were away from Toni, the better off she would be. But even then, a part of her didn't want to lose what little salvation she had from her suffering. Though she let Rachel take the bottle, and watched as the reporter placed it on her side's bedside table.
“I'm sorry.”
“For what?” Rachel assumed Toni was talking about the pills, judging by how quiet she had been and how easily she had allowed them to leave her grasp. And honestly, Rachel didn't want an apology for that. You didn't need to be a doctor to know Toni was going through pain, especially after her match with Harvey. And though pills weren't always the best way to deal with that, she wasn't going to add more salt to the blonde's wounds.
“I said...” Toni trailed off, shaking her head. “I said everything would be fine, I said you didn't need to worry.” The darkness couldn't hide the slight wobble in her voice, and it crippled Rachel.
“Toni,” she said as she fought for her attention. Toni refused to look at her, her head bowed, but Rachel wasn't giving up. “Andrea.”
That got it. In the shadows, she noticed Toni turn to look at her, and the two gazed at one another for the longest time. Fuck, when had Toni ever gotten this emotional? She was a mess, she knew that herself. But damn was the offer of some kind of warmth from Rachel tempting. So she would take whatever she could, whatever redemption she could salvage from the person she had let in all too easily.
“You don't need to apologise for that.” The two embraced, Toni slumping somewhat in the brunette's arms, weakened. They sat there in bed, bare skin against bare skin, only obstructed by Toni's scar tissue and the odd bandage plastered on her body. They remained that way until twilight turned to morning, and Rachel's eyes closed once more, her head against Toni's unmarked shoulder. Toni listened to her heartbeat, the pulse relaxed and controlled. It was enough to make her forget about the pain and send her into slumber, though not before she languidly shifted the both of them back under the covers. How Rachel hadn't woken up due to Toni's ungraceful movements was a mystery for another day, for as soon as Toni's head hit the pillow she now called her own, she was gone. As were the nightmares – for the time being.
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