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2ND - PARAMOUNT #27 - SEASON FINALE
7TH - BRAWL #591 - SEASON FINALE
11TH - RAMPAGE #508 - SEASON FINALE
13TH - PRIME #103 - SEASON FINALE
17TH - NEXTGEN #05 - SEASON FINALE
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27TH - UNCHAINED #05 - SEASON FINALE
16TH - 19TH [QUAD PPV] - WRESTLEFEST XX
[E15 comes out the 15th of every month and are based on seasons start till the end of the previous month]
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Laura sits in the bus, a slight smile upon her lips as she stares at the title within her grasp. A loud sound of steam being let out of the brakes is heard, and the bus suddenly veers to the right, driving through a set of bushes! Startled, Laura tries to get up to see to the driver, but stumbles as the van rocks side to side, slamming into a tree! Tumbling to the floor, Laura reaches out for the title that has fallen from her grasp, only to see a pair of snake skin boots. She slowly raises her head and sees that the driver of the bus has been knocked unconscious. Laura takes a deep breath as large hands lift her to her feet.
Hands that belong to Brett Black...
Smiling, Brett softly kisses Laura's cheek, and then plants her into the metal floor of the bus with a snap DDT! He then covers Laura for the pin....
Brett leans forward and whispers; "You will be awakened, and only then will you understand."
Whistling, Brett hoists the title over his shoulder and exits the bus, whistling.
Meanwhile, back at the ol' Molinaro homestead, things are going well, la la la, TV and Coca Cola, sharpening shivs and breaking in the new blackjack, Laura is a brooding dynamo! I don't know if any of this actually is happening, but the bottom line is that Laura is chillin' in her flat.
The sound of the buzzer. The buzzer phone is answered. It's UPS, they've got a package for Laura! She discovered the delivery man isn't Living Dead Karl or anyone in the EWC or its sister promotions.
BUT IT COULD BE A LETTER BOMB FROM THE GANGSTERS SHE FUCKED WITH IN THE PAST!
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!
No... it's WAY too big to be a letter bomb... unless it's an ATOMIC letter bomb!
All the same, Laura takes an axe to it, utterly destroying the box and its contents... of which there are none.
...Save a note she barely noticed.
"Fuck yo couch."
Then she hears some ruckus coming from up above on her floor. Her window shatters outwards!
"Fuck, yo, couch, biiiiitch!!!"
Says, yes, Living Dead Karl, who has somehow got into her suite. The undead are sneaky that way.
Moments later, before she can react, her couch peeks out from the ruined window. Then more appears. Then more still. Then it tilts downward...
It comes plummeting down to the ground! Laura barely gets away in time!
LDK then jumps out, landing on the couch's cushions!!!
He then dives at Laura, spearing her to the concrete!
But how did he not break his legs?!
And the spear isn't one of the move in his repertoire!
Fucking BULLSHIT, man!!!
Anyway, a man strolls by, eating an ice-cream sandwich, and when he sees LDK pinning Laura, he tears off his shirt to reveal a referee tee underneath! He swings into action, slamming hand to concrete once...
... three times!
LDK takes back his title, then goes back into Laura's place and makes some microwavable popcorn.
Post by Laura Molinaro on Aug 8, 2015 0:35:08 GMT -6
"You fucking asshole," Laura rages as she storms back into her apartment and sees LDK eating her own popcorn! Before LDK can react, Laura has picked up a frying pan, and she blasts him right in the face with it, sending him to the kitchen floor.
After pounding away at LDK's head with the frying pan several more times, Laura makes a cover.
Laura drags the almost unconscious freak up off of the floor and launches him out of the apartment's front door, before taking out her cell phone and calling the cops.
"I need help over here, I got people busting into my apartment." She gives her address, and waits for the cops to arrive. Surely the cops can help her to keep her combat title save for 24 hours?
Post by Markus Lord Raab on Aug 8, 2015 16:55:09 GMT -6
On a dark night is a man who doesn't fear anybody, including the swat team as the masked monster Lord Raab fights his way through them as he enters in the apartment to see Laura in her apartment which Raab smiles as he sees the Combat title on her which means one thing, aims to go and take it from her as he picks up a wooden chair and smashes it right on Laura's head, causing her to be knocked down. Suddenly, Raab's anger shrink Henry Losak takes off his shirt to see a referee shirt underneath the clothing as Raab wasn't done. He lifts Laura up for the Killerbuster and he gets Henry to count.
Raab holds up the combat title with his foot on Laura's back as he quickly goes out of the apartment and Samuel's finished making a circle ring just like his illegal street fights he does as he's in the middle of the street, sitting on the road, waiting for an opponent to fight him.
Thank you for all the memories on TV Total and Schlag Den Raab, Stefan Raab. Farewell legend.
Okay! Well, while the SWAT team are now focused on some masked villain bursting into Laura's suite, and seeing as the "person" they have in custody appears to have died on them, they dump Living Dead Karl to the ground unprofessionally, expecting the ambulance to show up and do their fuckin' job.
Meanwhile, when no one's looking, LDK opens an eye and peeks around. Springing back to his feet, he brushes himself off and heads back inside.
"Hold it, sir, we're not letting anyone into the apartment at this time." Some authoritative DICK exclaimed.
"Then how'd that motherfucker get inside and, AND is fuckin' shit up as we speak?!"
The dick's eyes widen as he can hear a ruckus upstairs, and he begrudgingly bolts from his post.
LDK strolls into the complex and takes an alternate flight of stairs.
When he gets to the proper floor, he sees the dick enter Laura's suite, so he just rushes in and delivers a bulldog to that... well... dick, haven't you been paying attention?!
LDK gets a load of the masked monster and just shakes his head.
"Mm. Mm. MM! Yo, what we got here? Some bad-ass with a GIMMICK?! I ain't feelin' yo gimmick, playboy, you AND yo motherfuckin' sheisty manager referee there!"
He points at the Combat title.
"See THAT shit? That's MY shit. That ain't yours! That ain't yours! You just gwan 'round jackin' shit what don't BELONG to you, trick? I'll just be takin' MY belt back now, thank you."
But GUESS WHO ISN'T PLAYING ALONG?!
LDK frowns, "Aw, so it's gonna be like THAT nah, is it? Fine! Fine. BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I WAAAANT IT, BIIIIITCH!!!"
And LDK lunges, not at Lord Raab, but rather at Henry. Gnawing at his head, Raab is forced to stop LDK by bashing him 20-23 times in the head with the Combat title. LDK finally lets go, no-selling the attack like someone who isn't afraid of being on the unemployment line tomorrow.
LDK gets out of the way in time for Raab to accidentally hit Henry instead for the million and first time, or I guess just first for Henry, million and first overall this battle.
LDK then spins around and cinches onto Raab's waist, about to deliver a German suplex, but he doesn't know that move, and despite that not being an issue in the past, fuck you.
So instead, he kicks Raab to the ground to give him enough time to grab the microwave and toss it at Raab's head, instantly killing him.
It's not my character.
It does act as a pretty convincing way to konk someone out so the ref...
OH SHIT, THE REF!
LDK's going to have to pull out all the stops now. Seeing the remains of the other ref he mostly ate, he knows what he must do:
Use his hidden Lich-like abilities of Advanced Necromancy 101 to raise the referee from the "dead".
These questions and less are surely not wondered by Laura.
But that was enough time for the seemingly unstoppable zombie to get back up and make his way to her. Laura hears him coming and probably wonders if she just might have to kill a bitch to get this to end.
So she takes the fight to LDK, but as she rushes him he catches her in the Code Blue... both of them landing into the deeper end of the RAW SEWAGE!!!
He dunks her head in several times trying to drown her. The ref stops him... somehow.
Anyway, big surprise that a rotting ghoul doesn't care about sewage, huh?
But he does drag her out and get the ref to call the pin...
"Get me some fuckin' water, bitch!" LDK shrieks as the ref acquiesces.
Splashing the water in his eyes, a sizzling is heard, followed by smoke coming from LDK's face.
He howls and recoils, clawing at his face. Rushing almost instinctively to the nearest puddle, he rakes his face upon and within the shallow pool.
Trembling and shuddering, he finally examines the bottle he was handed earlier:
"HOLY WATER?! You dumb motherFUCK!!"
"They make us keep some on us at all times, just in case!"
LDK socks the ref in the gut, and carries him off towards the direction he's pretty sure Laura ran off to.
He's about to get all blown up, but he finally comes across Laura, who was about to cross through a red light, only for several cars to stop her flight. LDK drops the ref and hijacks a car, forcing the little old lady driver to crash into Laura. Luckily old people don't drive too fast (hahaha!), so Laura was merely knocked to the ground and not shattered into a million pieces.
LDK gnaws at Laura's forehead a bit before scooping her up and slamming her into the hood of the old lady's car. He takes several steps back, then rushes as her with the Heart-Stopper! When she slides off the hood, he drapes himself on top of her and the ref begrudgingly calls the pin... one... two... THREE!
LDK takes his title back and goes off to eat the old lady.
Post by Laura Molinaro on Aug 11, 2015 0:25:48 GMT -6
"I'm getting really tired of this shit," Laura groans as she once again staggers to her feet. She's not sure which is more surprising; the fact that no one apparently wants to compete for the combat title, or the fact that LDK is so persistent.
Either way, the gruesome creature is too busy eating an old woman to notice Laura approaching him. She kicks the zombie looking creep in the side of the head, and when he goes down she continues to kick away at his head until the point where it is barely recognisable. "Maybe I should just kill the fucking guy... thing... whatever?"
Deciding against committing murder, Laura simply makes a cover.
With the referee being the only person around, and therefore the only person who could tell LDK where she has gone, she forces the referee to join her as she boosts a nearby car and takes off up the street.
Laura might have become concussed; there are plenty of folks around, since she was almost hit by a few, and by one for sure, though she's dead now.
Aww, poor old lady! Whatever, she was probably going to die tomorrow anyway!
But would they divulge such information?
They might not, but the police surely would! Since a hit and... well... stay has occurred, they were contacted and arrive on the scene.
The cops, being dumb as shit, help LDK to his feet and ask him what happened.
"I guess that old lady musta hit... my girl with the big belt! I guess she had a heart attack and died or some shit?"
The cops give the old lady a once-over; she has bite marks and a look of terror on her dead fuckin' face.
"Yup... looks like natural causes to me!"
But we really should check the tapes to see where this friend of yours went off to. She might be disoriented and require medical attention."
"Yeah, I'm really worried." LDK lies. "She might be my baby momma!"
"Oh FUCK, we'll check out the tapes from our car then! We can do that apparently!"
And so they do, conveniently only checking from after she got into another car and drove off... west.
Meanwhile, Laura's driving her pilfered Pontiac, when all of a sudden, a cop car wee-oo's up right behind her. She could create a chase scenario, but chooses not to.
A cop walks up to her, slowly.
"Miss, you know how fast you were going there?"
Laura rolls her eyes and sighs.
"Ma'am, this is a very serious situation here, could you please act more interested?"
Laura raps her fingers on the wheel.
"Okay, you're under arrest. Get out of the car."
Laura scoffs at the cop.
"Okay, it was me all this time!" LDK says, removing his cop hat and shades. "You stupid bitch, you fell for it! You got straight pla-"
But of course Laura knew it was LDK, as she drives the car's cigarette lighter RIGHT into his face!! LDK growls, but when he hears her revving the engine, he gets into the back seat directly behind her and starts choking her. She drives off in a panic. The ref wishes he became an accountant.
At a red light, Laura manages to stop the car and breaks free of LDK's grasp, getting out of the car. LDK gets out after her, and she breaks off the antenna and whips him with it. She slams his head off the driver's side window until it shatters!
But LDK comes back with a face-full of glass now, headbutting Laura until she falls to the ground! He pointlessly honks the horn of the car multiple times, laughing at all the fun he's been having, before realizing he probably should pin her.
The ref gets out of the car, and counts the pin... one... two... three!!!
LDK takes the title and forces the ref to help carry Laura around.
"Where are we going with her?"
"Where else? To fuckin' DROWN this crazy bitch in the RIVER!!!"
Post by Laura Molinaro on Aug 11, 2015 4:20:13 GMT -6
When Laura comes to, she finds herself being forced under water. Frantically gasping for air, she scratches at whoever is holding her, luckily raking LDK eyes with her finger nails.
The monster lets go of her and howls in agony, clutching his bleeding eyes as he staggers out of the river. Laura grabs a large rock from the riverbed and launches it at LDK's head. She has good aim, and the rock catches him right between the remains of his eyes, knocking him clean out.
Laura drags her battered and soaked body over to LDK and covers him.
Laura is too exhausted to try to run away. She simply sits there waiting for LDK to inevitably come at her again in the near future.
LDK simply lies there, giving Laura plenty of time to catch her breath and get her strength back.
At the same time, however, LDK's doing the exact same thing!
What seems like an eternity later, LDK sits up.
He looks over at Laura and raises an eyebrow, "What, you fuckin' already givin' up on LIVIN', BITCH?!"
LDK slowly raises to his feet. LAura does the same, ready for action.
"I kinda LIKE that! FUCK Lizzy Smalls and that stuck-up zombie bitch who may or may not be Ruthann Park, I think I'm feelin' YOU now, boo!"
He draws a heart in the sand, surely much to the disgust of the current Combat champion.
However, LDK's grin fades away, a sneer replacing it. He stomps the heart out.
"But I STILL gotta take what's MINE! Besides, I BIT you, girl! YOU know what that means nah, DON'TCHA? You'll be mine soon enough REGARDLESS!"
And just as he finishes that last emphasized word, he charges at Laura. Laura easily sidesteps the telegraphed move, but not the lariat to the back of the neck that followed! As she staggered forward, LDK ran at her, connecting with a face-buster. Now belly-down on the ground, LDK stomps at her before dragging her feet-first around the area. When he gets blown up enough, he lets her go. He then picks her up, carrying her to a long, and slamming her back-first into it! He then forcefully throws her off of it, looks down at the fallen champ, and goes for the pin.
The ref hits the floor: one... two... three!
LDK then cradles Laura, in one of the worst scenarios she's ever been in.
LDK gets up, half out of his mind and half in celebration. With one arm raised, he pumps it up and down as if he was the Ultimate Warrior! He bends down, picking up the combat championship. With green spit oozing out of the sides of his mouth, LDK spins around to leave.. right into a large boot! Brett Black lays LDK out with a boot to the head, and then proceeds to rip his arm off and beat him with it!
Dragging LDK by his hair, Black rips a portion of it out before helping him to his feet. Two of Black's "Family" arrive alongside him and the three of them lift him into the air, and plant him into the hard flooring with a triple powerbomb! Brett then gets up, his eyes glossed over. His followers head over to Laura Molinaro and lift her as well.
Black: TAKE IT EASY WITH HER.... SHE IS THE CHOSEN ONE!!! SHE MUST BE CARED FOR AND HANDLED LIKE PERFECTION!!!!
The two "family" members gently place Laura in Black's arms. Black looks at her closely, running his dirty fingertips across her eye sockets. He then gently drapes Laura over LDK's fallen frame and orders a referee to begin the pin count...
1. . . . . 2. . . . . THREE!!!
Referee: New Combat Champion.. LAURA MOLINARO!!!!
Black stares at Laura while his "family" walks away. Laura begins to stir as the referee places the combat title beside her. Black then reaches down and picks up the rotted arm of LDK.. and walks away with it, swinging it like a baseball bat.
Last Edit: Aug 11, 2015 15:09:32 GMT -6 by Deleted
LDK turns to the camera, "Does this shit ever happen to y'all?"
With some difficulty, he gets back to his feet, favouring his stump.
He sees Laura has the Combat title... A-GAIN... but he ALSO sees Brett Black strolling away with ANOTHER piece of his property!
"Bitch, hold the fuck on a second. I'll get back to trying to kill you after I deal with this shit."
LDK then jogs up to Brett Black, jumping on his back, taking off his hat, and gnawing at the back of his head. This is extra tough to do with one arm, but not to worry, as Brett can't handle the sudden 255 pounds in weight gain, and buckles down, dropping his arm. LDK snatches back his arm, swinging it much like Brett did earlier in order to heek the Black Family at bay.
Reattaching his appendage, he shakes his head, "Unless y'all motherfuckers wanna see Heaven or Hell, DON'T FUCK WITH ME AGAIN, YA HEARD!!!"
He then jogs back to Laura, fully aware he's surely going to get jumped again. But not before this!
"Nah... where was I... OH YEAH!"
He then lunges at Laura, who slams the Combat title into LDK's face. LDK takes her down, raining blows upon her face. As he's sitting on top of her, the ref considers that a pin once he goes one... two... THREE!
LDK takes back his title for the umpteenth time, and, as he rests a foot upon Laura's throat, calls out to the entire Black Family.
"I had a change of heart, bitches! The ONLY way to settle this shit is the old fashioned way! And I ain't talkin' about this belt here, since that ain't even UP for discussion! Nah, I mean, you wanna fight for this motherfucker down here? Come the FUCK at me, ALL y'all motherfuckers! I DARE ya! I DOUBLE dog dare ya!!!"
Post by Laura Molinaro on Aug 12, 2015 6:33:19 GMT -6
LDK, having never been the sharpest knife in the drawer, didn't think his challenge through very well.
The three family members turn around and come back at him, quickly surrounding him. LDK launches himself at the closest of his would be attackers, but only gets a couple shots in before Brett grabs him from behind, spins him around, and DDT's him face first into the concrete.
The third family member attempts to help Laura up, but Brett angrily shoves him away. "Do not touch her again! Ever! Only I will touch the queen!"
With that, Brett gently picks up the still almost unconscious Laura and places her on top of the zombie freak.
Without being ordered, the two family members roughly pick up LDJK and carry him off, intent on keeping him away from Laura.
LDK revives! However, he's being carried away, much like this entire fight is getting carried away, so he struggles and squirms and eventually the Black Family's grip isn't strong enough to keep hold, so they drop him. They stomp at him a bit, but LDK's straight trippin' at not having his Combat title, so he does some shitty no-selling, headbutts one of the guys, elbows the other, both in the head, and makes a beeline back to Laura.
With a running boot - Oh, and, aren't we near the river? Isn't there sand there, not concrete? Well, I guess there has to be sidewalks eventually. - he takes her down, then, seeing as he's tastelessly stealing Hulk Hogan's move-set anyways, he drops a leg over Laura's throat and... okay, he abstains from racial epithets, anyway. What a guy.
Oh, right! LDK goes for the pin, the ref is there, so here we go: one... two... THREE!!!
LDK takes back his title, seriously considering getting it fused to his body permanently. Wouldn't that be something? Fighting for a title that'll fight back? HA!