SuperShow NYC - 12/5/2008

[Michael Saint]

[glow=red,2,300]SuperShow[/glow]

Opener
James Kick vs Andrew Terehov

The match did not even get underway. Chupa came out and beat down both men.

(Chupa has a Mic)

Chupa: At the pay per view I took out my brother. I wanted to make a statement. That statement is reinstate me or I make your life hell. I have a big ass buddy willing to help me out here so little brother bring me back.

(A man runs in from the crowd and attacks Chupa laying him out. Saint comes out with a mic.)

Saint: You see I am always one step ahead Chupa. This is my boy Elijah. He is head of my security from here on out You want to make demands or attack me this is what is going to happen each time.

(Commercial)



[Eventually]

Darkness...silence...the footage cuts to an empty, dark and damp room at a disclosed location. Broken glass scattered across the floor while floorboards remain unsound, creaking beneath footsteps audibly. The camera gradually pans around the room, pausing upon a dark figure in the corner, which stands beside a nearby open window. The cold, light, breeze flows through the remains of the blinds against the broken window, which gives a slight draft against the thin drapes that surround it. The figure appears to be that of a man wearing a crimson red hoodie, covered by a snug-fit leather trench coat of some kind around him. Exhaling carefully into the cold atmosphere beside the window, as his breath can merely be seen clear as day in the moonlight gleaming in. Dark, worn and frayed jeans fitted to his lower torso stretch down his frame as he leans along the window seal, staring out into the abyss. While his face remains to be entirely shown from the angle of the camera, he carefully turns his cheek now gazing straight across towards the camera. Portions of his face now shadowed from the lack of lighting, reveal slight strands of dark, long hair coming into the light. The man appears to firmly lick the corner of his mouth, briefly inhaling a breath of air as he begins to speak.

Voice |: "I apologize for intruding on this so-called 'entertainment' you have been ever-so greatly enjoying this evening, but I must interrupt this little revelry evening for an announcement. If you truly thought that this was all over, if you thought that the worst was yet to come, if you thought Joey Orsome's mother was safe..."

The figure briefly pauses for a moment, as if fighting back the silent chuckle.

Voice |: "...And if you thought that 'I' was simply going to stand idly aside, watching this arrogance, disrespect, and future of this company fall to pieces...YOU...are very fuckin' sorely mistaken. You see no one has ever truly had the ability much less the skill, the power, the charisma, the "balls" to take over this company. Many have tried in the past and so many have failed, and look where they stand before you today. Washed up, toking up on coke medicines, giving head in hotels for money, or sleeping with an employee's "7-11" nympho of a mother. I'm disgusted by the things I have seen, and now it is time to correct all of that. I'm coming back to educate this fucking company on a lesson in manners, but don't get quite carried away just yet."

The man pauses his tongue and remains silent for a moment.

Voice |: "I'm coming back to bring this company off of it's little "hiatus" the glorious Mac and his team of lackeys have thrown her on, and then watch her burn ever-so beautifully TO THE GROUND. I told you I was going to bring this company down Danny, and I'll do it by ANY means necessary if it's the last thing I do. I'll bring an end to your dull, long-winded brown-nosing, pieces of worthless talent, the Goths, the Dragons, the Killers, the Greens, all of them. Something I should have done a very, very, long time ago..."

Pauses once more.

Voice |: "That movement begins...TONIGHT."


:: ...End footage feed... ::

(Commercial)

[Michael Saint]

LANCE FIENNES VS. RICKER


The audience settles as the next match is scheduled to start.


Madden: This is one of the more exciting of the night, a real heart-starter to kick this supershow into gear.

Khan: Man, we've got two men with a history, and two men who have only just returned to the EwC.

Madden: A former North American and Hardcore Champion, Lance Fiennes faked his own death in February this year in an installment of Monday Night Brawl in Alabama. Tonight will be his first match since he lost the Hardcore Title to Sean Ferguson.

Khan: And in the other corner will be a former North American and United States Champion. He's beaten Lance before and he's not afraid to do it again. Roaring back into the EwC, he's instigated his "Undead Campaign" as a means of psyching out his opponents. He's gotten under Lance's skin before, can he do it again?


The ring bell chimes through the arena as the announcer steps forth to call out the competitors.


Ann: The following match is scheduled for one fall...


The voices of a choir sees the lights in the arena dim. Then, as the opening verse sings through from the song "There Was A Time" by Guns N' Roses, the lights on the stage pick up, the screen flickering with static. Then, as soon as the guitars of the first chorus rip into the arena, an outward explosion of pyrotechnics shoots into the air and Lance Fiennes steps out onto the stage in his long tights. He adjusts his elbow pads and moves down the ramp as the audience cheers wildly.


Ann: From Flint, Michigan and weighing in at two hundred forty three pounds, Lance Fiennes!


Lance strides up the stairs confidently and ready, winking to a member in the crowd and slipping his foot under the top rope, pulling himself through and then jumping atop a turnbuckle to raise his arms to the rising cheers of the audience. He turns and falls back to the canvas, walking over to the other corner and leaning back on it, waiting for his opponent.


Ann: And the opponent...


The lights go out in the arena as the word "UNDEAD" flashes on the titan tron. The video on the screen plays as the song "Undead" by Hollywood Undead hits the arena. Ricker bursts through the curtains and makes his way down to the ring.


Ann: From parts unknown and weighing in at two hundred thirty two pounds... Ricker!


He looks straight at the ring not caring what stands on each side of him, he knows that he is not done and must continue what he set out to do. Ricker then slides in the ring and stares straight at Lance, raising his right hand and pointing at him.


Madden: The tension is electrifying!

Khan: A worthy comeback match for both of them.


The music dies out and the two competitors circle each other in the ring as the bell rings. They ease in and then collide in a grapple hold. Lance overpowers Ricker with his slight advantage in size and weight and knees him in the chest, whipping him into the ropes and chopping him down to the canvas. Lance follows with a few stomps to Ricker's chest and shoulders, then runs back, bounces off the ropes and comes back to find Ricker on his feet. Ricker ducks down for a back drop slam but Lance jumps over him, bounces off the ropes and downs Ricker with a bulldog.


Khan: Lance is showing formidable energy already. The speed with which he's running across the canvas is considerably more than he has moved in the past.


Lance stalks Ricker as he rises, then swings for a clothesline, but Ricker ducks and downs Lance with a drop toe hold. He holds on, stretching Lance's legs out, but Lance grabs the ropes, and Ricker is forced to let go. He gets up and grabs Lance by his hair, pulling him to the corner where he starts wailing into him with chest chops, to which the crowd screams "WOOOOOO!"

Ricker grabs Lance by the arm and whips him hard against the other corner. Lance bounces off chest first from the impact and falls to a neckbreaker by Ricker, who goes for the pin.


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Kick out!


Madden: Ricker has the upper hand here...

Khan: You may have spoken too soon.


Ricker tries to pick Lance up, but is struck in the abdomen by some well placed elbows. Lance then knocks him back with an uppercut, followed by a few more one-twos across the jaw. Lance starts showing off his more street-spirited brawler skills, landing a round house kick to Ricker's ribs and then stepping forth, slamming his heel down on Ricker's foot and slamming his head against Ricker's. Ricker starts to bleed from his nose and goes to fall back, but manages to regain his balance with the help of being grounded by Lance's foot. As he comes back up, though, Lance grabs his shoulder and starts repeatedly headbutting Ricker across the face. Blood starts spattering over the canvas as, after the fourth headbutt, Lance lets Ricker fall to the floor. Ricker grabs hold of the ropes as he checks his nose, bleeding all over his chest.


Khan: Brutal combat there from Lance, not letting up on his opponent.


Lance runs forth and knees Ricker across the head, slamming him into the corner where he sits in a heap. Lance gets a handful of Ricker's hair and lifts him to his feet, pressing him against the corner. Lance then lifts Ricker on top of the turnbuckle and joins him on the second rope, lifting him up and downing him with a HUGE superplex!


Madden: Wow!


Both men lie in the ring as the referee starts the count.


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Lance is up!


Fiennes, impatient and somewhat sore, picks Ricker up and throws him at the ropes again, waiting for him to bounce back, but Ricker grabs hold of the ropes and holds himself there, inviting Lance to come forth and attempt to clothesline him over, but Ricker pulls the top rope down with him and Lance hurtles over the top rope and to the outside, where he gets up and rushes to return to the ring only be whacked with a well placed baseball slide by Ricker. Lance sits up on the outside, dazed, as Ricker lunges over the top rope. Lance rolls out of the way and Ricker lands on open ground, but he rolls onto his feet as he lands, breaking most of the fall. Lance runs at Ricker, who ducks a clothesline, turning to Lance as he turns back and punching him across the jaw. Lance stumbles back as Ricker lands another punch, then another, then gives him one of his own headbutts and turns to the ramp way security railing where he goes to smack Lance's skull across it, but Lance gets his hand on it, chops Ricker across the chest to have him let go, then grabs him and whips him back in the direction of the ring. The referee, at his seven count, stops as Lance joins Ricker back in the ring.

A moment of breath from Lance allows Ricker to return to his feet. The two collide for another bout of grappling, this time won by Ricker, who pushes Lance back into the corner, then knees him to weaken him, then lifts him up on top rope. Lance goes to punch Ricker in the skull, but Ricker blocks it and returns with a swipe across Lance's jaw, incapacitating him momentarily, giving Ricker enough room to jump up and, with an almighty pull, down Lance with a huge...


Khan: FATE SEALER FROM THE TOP ROPE! FATE SEALER FROM THE TOP ROPE! IT'S OVER!


Ricker clamours for a pin.


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LANCE KICKS OUT!


The audience is excited, the announcers are considering pacemakers, the sponsors are drunk off their minds. Ricker, frustrated, goes to the outside and grabs a chair, returning to the ring only to have a run in with the referee, who grabs the chair from him and leaves the ring, giving Ricker enough time to rush over to Lance to hit him with some form of illegal move.

One that he never manages to pull off as Lance dons some brass knuckles from his tights on both hands and starts to one two Ricker across the head with such vigour that blood sprays across the canvas. As the referee comes to return to the ring after disposing of the chair, Lance throws his brass knuckles outside the ring and turns to Ricker, dazed on his feet, and prods him so that he falls back. Lance raises his arm to the audience, who cheers wildly, and Lance goes to the nearest turnbuckle and lunges on top of it, pointing to Ricker and, as camera flashes across the arena go wild, jumping off and landing a picture perfect elbow drop across Ricker's neck!


Madden: Wow! Lance is really taking some risks now to put Ricker down and out!


Lance, on his knees now, gets up and takes a deep breath, turning to Ricker and looking to the audience. He steps back behind Ricker and starts to stalk him. He starts calling out to Ricker, taunting him, egging him on to get up, and Ricker starts to rise, blood all over his face. Lance edges closer behind him and then, as Ricker turns around, he... takes a knee from a very weary Ricker and is set up for the Fate Sealer! But Lance quickly elbows Ricker across the back of the head, reversing the move into a massive FIENNES-O-MATIC!


Khan: FIENNES-O-MATIC! FIENNES-O-MATIC!

Madden: I thought I would never see that move again!


With Ricker in a total heap now, Lance crawls over and lies on top of him for the pin.


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The bell rings!


Ann: Here is your winner, Lance Fiennes!

Madden: A huge win and successful comeback for the former Hardcore Champion, settling an old score in the process!

Khan: He's back and seems better than ever!


Lance gets to his feet and has the referee raise his arm in victory as "There Was A Time" plays.


WINNER: Lance Fiennes

[Michael Saint]

Singles Match
Serial Killer vs Goth

This would be a good match. Serial Killer would return with a vengeance after his loss last week. Killer would start off the match with the advantage and would have Goth on the ropes for a bit, but it would not last, because Goth would mount a great comeback. Goth would take Killer for a trip tot he outside and show why he is EWC's big up and comer in this match. The match would end when Goth was able to plant Killer with a Goth Drop for the three count.

Winner: Goth

Post Match

After the match both men would be attacked by a returning Victor Hades!!!! Hades would lay them both out eventually driving the head of Killer into the canvas with The Closed Casket.

TV Title Match
John Green vs Moses Lake
^{Special Ref: Michael Saint}

This would be a good match as well. Moses Lake would dominate for the most of the match beating down on Green like he was a redheaded step child fo some sort. It would seem that Moses had the match won earlier on, but after hitting The Knock-Out, but when Saint went down to make the three count he would stop at three and flip off Moses. From the back would come in Elijah who would attack Moses and put a really good beat down on him. Elijah would hit a Yakuza Kick to the back of Moses head and put John Green on him for a cover. This time the count would be broken up by Jesse Payne. Payne would run off Elijah and knock out Saint with a crushing blow.

The finish would come when Moses hit Green with Canadian History X and Jesse used Saint's hand to make an offcial three count.

Winner and STILL TV CHAMP: Moses Lake!

(Commercial)

[Michael Saint]

Non-Title Match
Kid Cannibis vs ?

Kid Can would come out to the ring and to his shock he would not have a singles match he would actually have a Handicap Match against NYC's own Team 3D!

Handicap Match
Team 3D vs Kid Cannibis

Team 3D did not take long to start a beat down on the HCW Champ, but it woud not have much effect. Kid Can would fight them back and beat both men like the bitches they were. The finish would come when Kid Can hit The Blunt Wrappa forcing Brother Ray to tap out.

Post Match Kid Can would get in the face and call Brother Ray a no good Cracka before kicking him in the cock.

(Commercial)

(We come back from commercial to see Michael Saint and Elijah standing in the back.)

Saint: Jesse Payne! You son of a bitch. You no good bastard! You think that you can come out and screw up all my plans. That you can stop me from doing what I wanted to get done tonight.

(Saint spits out some blood on his lip)

Saint: Yeah it is true I was going to screw Moses Lake tonight. He was not supposed to be TV Champ when he left. I thought Green could get the job done alone, but I was wrong I guess. Next week Jesse you will have a match against my head of security Elijah Mohammed Siad. You were not out to help that prick Moses you wanted revenge for Chupa. Well you screwed yourself, because next week if you lose your match you will be FIRED from EWC.

(He smiles)

Saint: Oh and Moses Lake do not think I forgot about you next week you will have a Non-Title Match with the HCW World Champion Kid Cannibis

(Fade to the ring)



(Put you on game By Lupe Fiasco blasts the PA system, as Level-One steps up on-top of the ramp. He is accompanied by no pyro, and no crowd taunt. He receives a mixed reaction, as he stands on the top of the ramp, the World Title hung loosely in his grips. Level-One shakes his head, before taking a step forward and engaging on a long walk down the ramp)

Khan: Well, here is our World Heavyweight champion! It’s been awhile since we’ve seen him around.

Madden: Yeah, and the last time we did see him around—he didn’t seem all there. Even now, it doesn’t look any excited to be here at this super show.

(Level-One doesn’t stop until he reaches the ring apron; he slides his world title under the bottom rope before sliding under himself. Level-One in the ring, grabs hold of his title and then calls for a microphone.)

Khan: It looks like the champ wants to say a few words!

Madden: Well, I’m looking forward to this.

(Level-One grabs a microphone, before slowly pacing back and forth before stopping the middle of the ring. He turns his head side to side watching all the fans; some boo him, some cheer him. The fans are almost conflicted as he is. Level-One raises the microphone slowly to his lips.)

Level-One: Almost a year ago, I stepped into the ring with your hometown hero Shadow Man. A man who had built up his stardom status. A man who had given his all to this business. However; he was a many of many faults…a fraud. And I exposed him for it. I and Shadow Man know things between us two, that everyday he hopes I won’t speak out upon, and hell I won’t. I’ve pissed you all off way too long, way too often, and I can’t continue on like this. I can’t continue to break your hopes, your dreams, and your wishes.

(The fans broke out into a Shadow Man chant at the mention of his name, but has now died out, as Level-One continued on. The fans are settling down now, there ears attentive to every last word spoke by their World Heavyweight champion)

Level-One: When I took this title from Shadow Man, I felt as if I was doing you all a favor. I thought I was helping you all see the light. While I could clear my own path from Shadow Man, and his influence’s I deem sickening, desperate, and evil—I understand that I can’t change any of your minds. Shadow Man, has lived on for year upon year—drilling his fake morals, false legendary status, all put forward with the help of our very own President Mac by providing him with the pushes he needed to do just that. And me? Well, I haven’t been around long enough to change your minds, and unfortunately I never, ever, will.

Khan: What the hell is Level-One talking about here? His feud with Shadow Man was done months ago!

Level-One: What I do know is, I did my best. No matter if I had Michael Saint counting my pins instead of a sanctioned referee, let it be known my causes were upfront, and I had no hidden agendas. Every single night, I came out here on this stage, I busted my ass. I swear to you all, I gave my blood for this ring. I lent my sweat towards the competition. I’ve remained loyal to my cause every single step of the way.

At times, I may have been lost. On my quest to the world championship, I did things people normally wouldn’t. But I did everything I needed to do to keep this title around my waist, and never for a second did I try to deny my actions or even justify them. If I could go back, I would do it all again. I know you all may not accept that, but in the end, I’m not asking you too.

The truth is, my goal was to advance to the atop of the wrestling world in the best promotion out there. It’s why I joined the EWC. The competition, I learnt from it. It was only a year ago when I was knocked out my Nathaniel Broadway, it was only last year when I was pinned three times in a row by Beth Harte. And who could forget? Losing my shot at the world title at Strangle Mania last year. All these things, at one point in time I hated, despised, and wished they never occurred…but now, I appreciate them more than anything. They’ve built up my skin. And look at how tough my skin is now…

(Level-One stops looking at the crowd, who has now broken out into a small pop. Level-One nods his head, before slowly and methodically pacing around the ring)

Level-One: It’s almost as if I can’t be cut, can’t be stopped, almost as if I can’t die. I’ll walk through fire now, just to feel the burn. Every day, I’m looking for a new challenge. I’ve joined the APW, not for the money. Not because there a big world wide promotion, hell there barely Indy. I’ve joined there, because I know walking through that fire, the burn will be worth it. I’ll put that place on the map, I’ll provide it with the lime light it deserves…

And as much as I hate to say it, I’ve been walking through fires in the EWC too. It’s a circle, and I’ve been running around it…and it feels…my skin, it feels as if I’m burning for nothing. I walk around with this world title, and I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. It’s dead.

Khan: What the hell is Level-One trying to say here?

Madden: Well, we have had problems lately—but I think he’s going to far here.

(The fans start an ‘’EWC’’ chant, as Level-One lowers his head in shame before nodding his head back and forth)

Level-One: Denial. It’s what you all are in, and I can’t blame you. For months I tried to tell myself, it wasn’t that way. I kept telling myself, things are going to change. That world title, it’ll feel good again. It’ll feel good carrying it around. And as time past, it felt worse. I can’t continue walking around with my heart not into this. That’s not what a champion does, is, or should be. It isn’t justified…not even if my name is spread across the title belt in my possession.

Question my loyalty, shit on me as a human. Call this entire thing, my entire career here a waste of time. Look at him, look at him, and find him back stage…because HE should be the champion. Name the name. Go ahead do it!

(Level-One is now an emotional wreck, as he leans over the ropes pointing backstage. The crowd is hot as ever, as they cannot comprehend what’s going on in the ring)

Level-One: Look what I’ve done, I’m walking out on you. The world champion, is turning his back on you. What a mistake this was. You’ll all hate me, I know it. But I’m doing what’s right in my heart. Shadow Man, the man I will NEVER live up to in your eyes…management eyes. And our very on President’s eyes…he’d never have the gull to do this. He will NEVER have the gull to admit his wrong, mistakes…no…

Level-One: Your former champion…the man I will NEVER live up to in your minds would scoot around the subject. He’ll say he’s tired. He’ll curl up in a shell, call a fake retirement, while he’s out shooting movies, commercials, having his smug painted on milk cartons and magazine covers. More importantly, he’ll continue to live the LIE is is…and our very own President Mac will leave you all into the dark, because he could never…never…never! Build the star he built in Shadow Man…

…Because I’m done.

(The fans begin to boo, as Level-One shakes his head in disappointment. Level-One closes his eyes tightly trying to fight back all emotion, as he falls to his knees dropping the world title in the middle of the ring. Level-One leans over it with the microphone to his lips)

Level-One:…someone, backstage. Anyone. I’m leaving this world title here…in this ring where it belongs. Someone…anyone…come down to this ring and claim this championship, and take the pain away from me. Show me mercy. Don’t leave me with this, it isn’t a blessing. I’m sorry, it came to this…someone…anyone…get down here, grab this title and claim yourself champion…

And maybe, just maybe. You will out live the legacy of Shadow Man

But I doubt it.

(Level-One rolls over his World Heavyweight championship, and under the bottom rope. The fan’s chant ‘’Fuck You’’ over and over again, as Level-One simply continues up the ramp. He doesn’t turn around, not even for a second as he vanishes behind the curtain)

Khan: Level-One has just vacated the world title! I’m speechless, Madden.

Madden: I have no idea where this entire Shadow Man saga comes from, is Level-One trying to say the fans will never accept anyone other than Shadow Man as their world champion?

Khan: I don’t know, I guess that’s what I got from the jist of things. More importantly where is everyone, and why haven’t they made there way down for the world championship?

(The camera points up the ramp, and into the crowd where not one single superstar is spotted)

Madden: You spoke to soon, Khan!

(Suddenly superstars come piling from the back all hammering each-other before even reaching the ring! Lance and Ricker having fought earlier in the night, begin to brawl throwing rights and lefts back at each-other by the side of the ramp. John Green breaks out in-front running towards the championship, upon reaching the apron though, Kid Cannabis yanks him off before nailing him in the face with a super kick!)

Khan: Jesus, it’s chaos out here! Someone call security!

Madden: Everyone is going for that World Championship, and I don’t think you can blame them, Khan!

(Lance & Ricker teeter back and forth on the edge of the ramp, as Goth comes rushing forward tackling them both of stage, as they land onto a pile of wooden tables and electrical wires, which set’s the pry off! Serial Killer who was late coming out, simply backs away and runs back stage as the chaos’s ensues)

Khan: Well, I think we know who isn’t going to become World Heavyweight champion tonight!

(In the ring Moses Lake, Amy Rosen and Kid Cannabis all surround the world title. As they circle with caution. Amy Rosen quickly runs up to Moses Lake slapping him across the face! This shakes up Moses Lake as he comes rushing forward with a clothesline which Amy Rosen quickly avoids, and Moses Lake takes out Kid Cannabis instead)

Madden: Smart move by Amy there, it looks like Kid Cannabis isn’t too happy about what just happened.

(Moses Lake turns around pointing at Amy Rosen in frustration, Moses Lake turns around and meets a quick hurricanrana by Kid Cannabis sending Moses through the ropes, but manages to hang on. Kid Cannabis moves in for the attack, as Amy slips behind Cannabis grabbing the world title!)

Khan: Amy better make away with that thing!

Madden: I think the Evil Doctor has something else in mind!

(Amy Rosen charges towards Kid Cannabis who turns around at the last second only to eat a world title to the face, the momentum however sends Kid Cannabis into Moses Lake, and than Amy over the top rope along with Cannabis and Moses! Everyone goes down! The World Title flies out in-front of them.)

Khan: Can this night get ANYMORE confusing?

Madden: I don’t know, but I won’t predict any less.

(Suddenly a figured appears at the top of the ramp...)

Khan: It’s Crazy Man!

(Crazy Man looks at the carnage in-front of him, and simply shakes his head as he walks down the ramp, receiving a solid pop from the crowd. Crazy Man walks down the ramp, standing in them middle of the chaos as everyone is virtually out. Crazy Man picks up the world title, before sliding under the bottom rope.)

Khan: Crazy Man has done it? Crazy Man is the NEW world champion?

Madden: I guess so, Khan. I don’t think he would’ve like to win it like this though…

(Crazy Man shrugs his shoulders and raises the title in the air, as the fans give him a huge pop…and then, the pop turns into boos. Crazy Man turns his attention down the ramp, where Level-One has made his way back out as he paces back and forth on the ramp like a rabid animal)

Level-One: Are you fucking kidding me? Is this some kind of joke!? I vanquished my championship, hoping that someone…anyone the least bit qualified would walk out here and pick it up. And look at you all, look at you useless fucks! Look at what this place has become! I busted my ass for an entire year, for this? This is what I get!?

(Level-One points at Crazy Man clenching his teeth in frustration, as Crazy Man simply watches on by)

Level-One: I will be damned if Crazy Man became world champion, after all the hard work I put into assuring that he wouldn’t. This is bullshit. Crazy Man, you don’t even deserve to have a job. If the EWC wasn’t declining in talent, importance, and overall relevance, you wouldn’t have a job here you would be out wrestling for food stamps cashing on a welfare checks every month! I refuse…I fucking refuse to stand by and watch you diminish everything I worked towards by calling yourself a World Heavyweight champion.

(Crazy Man who has now picked up a microphone, slings the world title over his shoulder and smirks back at Level-One who is virtually steaming on the ramp in-front of him)

Crazy Man: Wait, let me get this straight. You leave your world title in the ring, claiming anyone on the EWC roster can pick it up, and become champion if they got to it first, and now you want to take it back? There has to be some rule here…

(Level-One cuts off Crazy Man)

Level-One: Shut the fuck up! I’m tired of this shit, Crazy Man. I’m out of the EWC, and I won’t have to deal with you anymore. But tonight; tonight you are my problem. Now drop that world title in the ring, and leave before I have too…

(Crazy Man turns his head away from Level-One, raising the middle finger his direction. With a little motion, he tells Level-One to bring it)

Crazy Man: I don’t walk away from my problems, Level. You know me better than that. But this? I expected this entire thing from you. You run when things get tough, well let me tell you this. If you want back your world championship, you’re going to have to come and take it from me, because I don’t leave my possession’s laying around carelessly like you.

(The crowd cheers, as Level-One begins to march down the ramp. His eyes lit in flames, the swagger which speaks doom to anyone in listening range. But Crazy Man, doesn’t back down as he stares straight at Level-One. Kid Cannabis has made his way to his knees, as Level-One drives a foot into his head knocking him back over)

Khan: Things aren’t looking good, Madden. These two are going to kill each-other!

Madden: I usually don’t say this, but get security out here now!

(Level-One stops right by the apron, pointing up at Crazy Man who calls him into the ring)

Level-One: You know what? I’m not going to do this tonight. Crazy Man, next week across the globe, I will issue a nation wide challenge to you. If you want to fight, you’re going to accept it on my terms! And sure, you can walk…but it will never, ever, look as good as this…

(Level-One drops his head and turns his back to Crazy Man before walking straight up the ramp to the boo of the fans. Crazy Man watches on, as Michael Saint emerges from the crowd. Saint slips into the ring, sneaking behind Crazy Man. Reaching over Michael Saint tugs the World Championship out of Crazy Man’s grasp. Crazy Man wipes around, as Michael Saint dives through the ropes and out to safety)

Michael Saint: This is now rampage property!

(Crazy Man shakes his head before turning to Level-One who stands up at the top of the ramp)

Level-One: You fans, you don’t know what you’re missing. See, while I will never be Shadow Man, the man you love, the man you all cheer and chant for, the man you’ve been blinded by for so long. I will always, always…always be Level-One!

And that’s much greater, than anything you’ve got going on here.

Crazy Man, we’ll meet again.

(The show ends off as Level-One and Crazy Man stare at each-other from a far)

Khan: Level-One departs from the EWC, and his hate for Crazy Man remains. Will it come to an end? I don’t know if we will ever see it again…

(Commercial)

[Michael Saint]

Ann: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, is No Disqualification, and is for the United States Championship! Introducing first the challenger…”

She Blinded Me With SCIENCE!

Amy Rosen strolls casually out from behind the curtain and out onto the stage. Amy looks up into the lights with her eyes closed as if she expects the crowd to begin throwing roses at her feet. When she looks down and sees nothing there, she just sort of shrugs and strolls inattentively down to the ring.

SCIENCE!

There is an explosion of pyros, which you wouldn’t know by looking at Amy, who seems as if she hadn’t even noticed, before walking up the steels steps and getting into the ring. Amy looks around as if finally realizing where she is, and finally prepares herself for the match, waiting for her opponent to make their entrance.

Ann: From New York City, weighing in at 125 pounds… Dr. Amy Rosen!

Khan: Here we go John, Rosen/Crazyman IV. Amy has the opportunity to even things up to force a V.

Madden: For Vendetta?

Khan: “What?”

Ann: And her opponent…

The intro of Fugazi's "Margin Walker" rings out over the PA. Flashes of light illuminate the arena as a plethora of weapons and foreign objects are thrown through the curtain and out onto the stage. As Guy Picciotto's desperate vocals play out, a ball of fire explodes into the air and Crazyman bursts through the curtain wildeyed and raging. He stops for a moment to survey the scene in front of him, an arena of EWC fans baying for blood. He marches down to the ring, grabbing a weapon in each hand as he walks through the mess in front of him. Upon reaching the ring, he launches the weapons over the top rope and rolls quickly inside. Slowly he gets to his feet, and paces the squared circle, head down, smacking his face to get his blood flowing.

Ann: From Akron, Ohio… weighing in at 240 pounds… he is the United States Champion… Crazyman!

Ding! Ding!

Crazyman and Amy Rosen circle each other before locking up. Crazyman, with the obvious size advantage, pushes Amy towards the corner. The referee breaks them up and they move back to the centre of the ring. They lock up again, and Crazyman forces Amy back, but Rosen ducks under his arm and uses his own momentum to throw him into the corner. Rosen with a series of chops to the chest followed by a superkick! Crazyman drops to the canvas and rolls out of the ring, clutching his chest. He disappears under the ring apron. A confused Amy Rosen climbs out of the ring and calls out for Crazyman.

Khan: What is he doing?

Crazyman eventually comes back out, holding something behind his back. He holds it up in front of Rosen.

Khan: It’s a puppy!

Madden: It’s a cute little dachshund!

Before Amy Rosen can fall totally in love with the puppy’s big floppy ears and wide brown eyes she notices something in its paws.

Khan: It’s got a gun!

Rosen jumps out of the way as the puppy starts firing wildly at her. Crazyman throws the dachshund at Amy, who swats it away into the crowd. Amy makes a tactical retreat, racing around the ring, with Crazyman in hot pursuit. They get about halfway around the ring when crazy man slows. Bent over, with his hands resting on his knees, he starts gulping air and waving at Amy to hold on for a minute.

Khan: Crazyman’s a great wrestler, but his cardiovascular conditioning needs work.

Madden: I tried running up the stairs once. Never again.

Crazyman straightens up just in time to receive a dropkick from Rosen. Amy looks under the ring apron and quickly pulls out a container full of a red liquid.

Khan: Oh God, what is that?

Amy hurls the liquid at Crazyman, who ducks just in the nick of time. The liquid splashes all over John Madden, who freezes with a look of wide-eyed fear on his face.

Khan: …Madden? Are you OK?

Madden: I think I’m fine OH DEAR GOD WHERE THE HELL AM I!?!?!?!?

Khan: Uh-oh!

Crazyman grabs Amy by the arm and whips her into the nearest ring post. He reaches into the crowd, grabbing for a weapon, and pulls out… a giant inflatable hammer? Shrugging his shoulders, Crazyman swings wildly at Dr Rosen and nails her right between the eyes, a squeak echoing around the arena as rubber meets flesh. Amy goes down like a shot, clutching her head.

Khan: Well, if the rubber hammers can knock people out in that other company, why not here too, right Madden?

Madden: OH GOD!! OH GOD!!!

Khan: What?

Madden: Oh man, I think I’m having flashbacks of ‘Nam.

Khan: John, you were never in Vietnam.

Crazyman lifts Amy back to her feet and goes for a second shot with the rubber hammer, only to have Amy duck under the attempt, and grab the hammer out of his hands. She brings it down onto the top of Crazyman’s head who releases a loud ‘ow!’ that sounds off through the arena. Amy then slams it into Crazyman’s stomach, doubling him over, before hitting him in the back with the handle. Crazyman stands back up, seemingly unaffected by the handle, even though that head is deadly. Go figure. Amy looks at the inflatable hammer with contempt before tossing it back into the crowd, not noticing as it strikes someone in the face, and knocks them down to the concrete, hitting their head hard on the steps. Crazyman and Amy look at each other briefly, before Amy scores with a boot to the gut and rolls him back into the ring.

Khan: I think that fan might need medical attention!

Madden: MEDIC!

Khan: Very funny John!

Madden: This isn’t a war… it’s a murder.

Amy rolls into the ring after Crazyman and the two look to get back to the fighting as the medics come to cart the fan away. Crazyman goes for a lariat that Amy ducks under. Crazyman ends up with his stomach against the ropes, preparing to go off with a spinning back elbow, but finds himself face to face with a member of the NYPD standing on the floor below him. After a few quick words, we come to understand that Crazyman is being blamed for the entire incident. Crazyman huffs and puffs, as the NYPD member gets onto the apron. Crazyman gets angry, he gets so angry that he punches the NYPD member off the apron to the shattering approval of the crowd!

Khan: That one might come back to haunt Crazyman!

Madden: No sir! I will not attack that village! They’re just kids, man! They’re just kids!

Seizing the moment, Amy dropkicks Crazyman through the ropes and out of the ring. Crazyman stumbles to his feet and just avoids a Plancha from Rosen, who lands on the ground with a thud. Crazyman picks her up only to slam her back down with a snap suplex. Dragging her back to her feet, Crazyman lifts Amy up with a military press, ready to throw her onto the crowd barrier, when someone from the audience spits beer into his face!

Khan: Who was that?

Madden: It’s Charlie, man! They’re in the trees!

Khan: Shut up, God damn you!

It’s Dave Grohl, wearing a neck brace! Dave Grohl hurls a chair at Crazyman, who drops Rosen when the metal hits his face. Amy picks up the chair and bashes Crazyman across the head. Then she does the same to Dave Grohl, because hey, why not? Back in the ring, Amy is putting the boots to Crazyman, who struggles to get back to his feet. Cutting Amy off with a shot to the stomach, he levels her with a DDT. Amy crawls to her corner, where a small but heavy bag awaits.

Khan: She’s going for the most offensive weapon in wrestling, the Jew gold!

Madden: They’re coming!!! They’re coming!!!

Khan: Oh, Jesus…

Amy reaches the bag as Crazyman shakes out the cobwebs. She lifts up the bag but finds that it’s empty. Amy scans the crowd to see who might have taken her gold, before spotting Baron Von Raschke running out of the arena!

Khan: It was the Baron! God damn him! Those bastards did it again!

Madden: This is way too heavy, man!

Khan: Madden, are you all right?

Madden: I’m sorry Brett, I just blacked out for a moment.

Khan: …Did you just call me Brett?

Amy looks horrified that her Jew Gold has been stolen. Then, she slaps herself in the forehead, knowing she can hunt him down later, but this match is right fucking now. She goes over to the ring and slides a table out, setting it up directly between the ramp and the ring itself. Amy then grabs a table, setting it up on the ramp side, and then… sits in the chair? Yes, that’s right. Crazyman gets back to his feet grabbing a chair of this own, walking over to the seated Amy, lifting the chair high into the air above his head and… setting it up on the ring side and sitting down himself.

Khan: What the-

Madden: I tell you what Johnny, if it weren’t for these USO Shows, I swear I would’ve killed myself weeks ago.

With both of them being seated at the table, Amy snaps her fingers, and a miced-up waiter comes down to the ring with a full Tea Set on a tray in his hands. He sets the set down onto the table, and pours two cups of hot water into the tea cups and giving both Crazyman and Amy one of their own.

Waiter: What would you like?

Crazyman answers him first.

Waiter: Low fat soy latte? Very good sir.

Amy laughs as she points a finger at Crazyman, saying “you big girl!”. Crazyman just shrugs it off as the waiter places the correct things into his drink to make it correctly.

Waiter: The usual Vanilla Chai for mad’ am? Very good.

As he places the teabag into the cup, a very angry Michael Saint storms down with a microphone in his hand.

Saint: What the hell are you two doing!?

Amy grabs her waiter, pulling his mic up to her.

Amy: We’re having a tea break, duh!

Crazyman grabs the waiter back to him.

Crazyman: Yeah Michael, not everything is all about you ya know.

Michael Saint rages and steps closer to them.

Saint: You two start fighting again this instant!

Amy: I think not Michael Saint. You see, I am a Jew. Which means I have a genetic ability to work and understand contracts on a better and deeper level then everyone else. And you, when you signed the new contracts, missed a small provision I put in there. It states in part, that we, the wrestlers shall have a 5 minute break for each 15 minutes wrestled. We are taking our 5 minute tea break Michael, and there’s nothing you can do about it!

Michael Saint rages even more, and charges at Amy. Amy grabs her tea cup and tosses the contents into Michael Saint’s face! Saint screams in horror, “it burns! it burns!”.

Kahn: My god! She burned Saint!

Madden: Johnny! No Johnny no! Put the pin back in… it’s not worth it! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crazyman runs over and picks Saint up off the floor, and hoists him up on to his shoulders and sets his back to the table. Amy goes to the opposite side of the ring, gets a running start and runs along the guardrail leaping off with a clothesline to Michael Saint off Crazyman’s shoulders, sending him through the table to the roaring approval of the crowd.

Kahn: My god! Doomsday Device! Through the table!

Madden: I’ll never get the scent of burning flesh out of my nose!

Just then, Crazyman’s watch goes off, signaling the end to the tea break. Taking advantage of her back being turned, Crazyman throws Amy back into the ring and quickly follows her inside. He drops an elbow to the small of her back before locking in a camel clutch. Rosen refuses to tap as Crazyman wrenches back on the hold. Amy manages to free her arms and slip out from under Crazyman. As she stands up, she throws out a hand and locks in the testicular claw!

Khan: It’s the testicular claw! No man can survive such a move!

Crazyman screams in pain, jumping from one foot to the other as Amy stands behind him, her hand tightly squeezing his ravaged ball sack. He hops over to the ropes and quickly grabs hold of them, forcing Amy to break the hold. He stands there for a few moments, rubbing his bruised testicles, but the anger in his eyes boils over. He charges forward; Rosen attempts to stop him with a high kick to the head, but Crazyman ducks, reaches out and goes for the testicular claw on Rosen!

Amy looks at him, horrified. Crazyman, realizing all too late that it is biologically impossible to apply the testicular claw to a woman, quickly withdraws his hand. They stand in the centre of the ring, unsure of what to say or do.

Khan: Ooooh, awkward!

Madden: They’re in the trees! They’ve got us surrounded! This is FUBAR, man! FUBAR!

Khan: John-

Madden: Jimmy! Your legs! They’re over here! Jimmy! JIMMY!!!

Crazyman suddenly kicks Amy in the gut, and twists her arm, before climbing up the turnbuckle and walking along the ropes for the move known only as ‘old school’ But before he can jump, he ‘slips’ (strangely it seems as if he did it on purpose) and catches the whole area between his legs on the ropes. Amy laughs manically and prepares to climb up and give him a DDT from the top rope, only to ‘slip’ (so obvious a dive its comical) and land on her back on the mat. Crazyman then falls over onto the mat on his side and the two get back to their feet, dust themselves off, look into the camera, and with a big thumbs up shout ‘Botchamania baby!’ together as one.

Madden: Wha’… Where am I?

Khan: Are better, now?

Madden: What the hell happened? The last thing I remember is getting splashed with that stuff by Amy Rosen.

Khan: Maybe next time you decide to have acid flashbacks of wars you never fought in, maybe you could keep them for after the show?

Madden: Hey, I have no recollection of the last twenty minutes! I just wanted to know what happened. I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition!

Somewhere, on the other side of town, the Grand Inquisitor’s ears perk up. Rousing his two apprentices, he rushes out to the street. The Inquisitors try to hail a taxi, but have no luck. They jump onto a bus and ride it ten blocks to the arena. Running past security, they bound down the ring and leap inside.

Grand Inquisitor: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisit-

Eureka! The Grand Inquisitor is out for the count and is carried away by his apprentices. Amy gets back to her feet and brushes herself off, before rolling out of the ring, going underneath the ring, and pulling out a strange metal ball, with a glowing red LCD screen in the center.

Khan: What the-

Madden: That’s a-

Khan & Madden: A REAL DOOMSDAY DEVICE! RUN!!!!!

Khan and Madden bolt from the announce table, as the crowd screams in horror, trying desperately to make it to the exits, the panic of which causes several to get trampled on the way out. Amy rolls back into the ring, advancing at a horrified Crazyman.

Crazyman: Amy? You think you might be going just a little bit too far?

Amy: Doomsday Device in an arena of thousands, that will more then likely vaporize the both of us? Hm, you have a point there.

A few seconds of silence pass between the two, as they come to realize that the referee has run away under the threat of being killed by a planetary destroyer.

Amy: Alright, we’ll call it a draw.

Crazyman thinks this one over and looks out over the empty arena, imagining that the bomb squads and SWAT teams are already mobilizing outside the arena.

Crazyman: …’K

Amy: Wonderful, now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go kill Baron Von Raschke.

Crazyman: Huzzah. So, can you, like, stop tapping the control panel?

(Fade)