Post by Sedition: The Rev on Jan 9, 2010 21:48:06 GMT -6
*The EWC logo flashes on screen and peels away to reveal the Friday Night Rampage logo. The picture fades into a wide shot of the MTS Centre in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. A red carpet has been laid out with fans lined up applauding on the side. New Rampage GM, The Rev, stands on a ramp near the arena entrance with a microphone in hand.*
Rev: The day is here at last. The return of Friday Night Rampage! Years of history, years of laughs, years of tears, years of blood sweat and violence. It all comes full circle here tonight, live from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada! I am your new ruler, The Rev. We have big plans for Rampage. Expect plenty of suffering and torment. To commemorate this historic night, we have been criss crossing this great continent of ours, spreading the word about this new Sedition controlled Rampage. Weeks ago we were there as the “Rampage torch” was lit. Since then the torch has been passed from runner to runner, traveling across states and provinces to bring it here tonight. From Tucson to Tallahassee, Albany to Allentown, Calgary to Cornwall.... Aruba, Jamaica.... we took it to Bermuda, Bahamas..... WAY down to Kokomo. Finally at long last, the Rampage torch will arrive here at the MTS Centre in Winnipeg.
*Rev hears something in his earpiece and a smile creeps across his face. He looks down the street*
Rev: I've just received word that our special guest Celebrity Torch Bearer will be rounding the corner in moments. This torch has come a long way. In mere moments it will be placed here in Winnipeg, completing this epic journey and officially beginning a new era of Rampage...... I see someone in the distance. Who can it be? A star athlete? Movie Star? Neil Young?
*An out of shape middle aged man wearing a black leather trench coat and clearly nothing on underneath staggers down the road. He sports a jet black brush cut, and out of date Handlebar Molestache. He adjusts his shades with one hand while triumphantly raising the Rampage torch in the other.*
Rev: It's homosexual 80s heartthrob George Michael! Wow! Wake me up before you Go Go, Georgie! You Gotta Have Faith in a man who carries a torch so proudly. Come on down George Michael. Light that torch and let Rampage begin!
*Rampage fans outside the arena applaud and cheer on the huffing and puffing but otherwise cheerful celebrity torch bearer. George Michael runs almost in slow motion as the heroic theme to Chariots of Fire play in the background. A huge cheer goes up as George Michael comes within 10 feet of the finish line. Suddenly from out of nowhere, a crazed looking man Clotheslines George Michael to the ground. The fans gasp in horror as the man kicks George Michael while he's down.*
Rev: Good God almighty, it's Rampage's other General Manager, Gladiator!
Gladiator: For crying out loud Rev, what's with the queer carrying the torch! We have a reputation to uphold and you book the pervert from Wham for our opening ceremony!
Rev: Gimme a break, it's all I could get on short notice! It was either Mr. Bathroom Stall here or David Arquette, and I think I made the right choice!
Gladiator: Get this masturbating has-been out of my sight! I wanted a celebrity, not someone rejected from a Surreal Life casting call!
Rev: Forget it. Let's just start the show.
________________________________________
LIVE from The MTS Centre in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
LIVE from The MTS Centre in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
*The energy in the MTS Centre is electric. Spotlights circle around the arena as the 17,000 fans in the venue are shown in a wide angle shot. A chant begins of “FNR, FNR, FNR, FNR!” The screams from the crowd are deafening to the ears. Those screams soon change to a unanimous Boo as Friday Night Rampage General Managers, The Rev and Gladiator emerge from the entrance way. They arrogantly make their way down the aisle, completely oblivious to the fans dislike for them. Rev and Gladiator climb through the ropes with microphones in hand, waiting for the boos to die down before speaking.*
Rev: Well if this isn't the sweetest homecoming ever.
Gladiator: That's right. The Sedition are back, and political correctness is officially dead on EWC TV.
Rev: Those die hard EWC fans out there may remember that long before brand separation, both Gladiator and myself made our wrestling debuts here on Friday Night. After years in competition, years as owners of EWC's competition, the SWA, and coming off spending the better part of 2 years attempting to take down the EWC from the Brawl roster, President Mac hands his prized product over to us! And so tonight, we usher in a new era of Extreme Wrestling.
Gladiator: Many of you out there may be thinking that The Sedition just plan on using Rampage as an outlet for our own sick and twisted entertainment. While this will definitely play a part in what you see on this show, I guarantee you when Rev and I go into business, we mean business. This is just as much about the money for us as it is for sadistic enjoyment. We've been saying it for years. Wrestling is a dying sport. The EWC has become so cluttered with talentless hacks and below average athleticism. When the reigning star on Brawl is Pence Weatherlight, you know it's time for a change. So enter the NEW Rampage.
Rev: It's time to start proving there's some Extreme attitude left in this place. Get ready for the most nauseatingly intense hour of wrestling anywhere in the World. Welcome to Rampage.
_________________________________________________
ON TONIGHT'S EPISODE
REGULAR MATCH
"Tropical Tornado" Ianzky
-vs-
'TNT' Dynamite Dan Thorne
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE DOWNTOWN
French Montana
-vs-
Mike Thunder
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH - BRAWL INVASION
Rampage Mystery Opponent
-vs-
William Rast
-vs-
Project Zzyzk
SEDITION RULES
Anything and Then Some Goes
DeAndre Miles
-vs-
Bryce Bridges
-vs-
Kip Kutler
___________________________________________
REGULAR MATCH
"Tropical Tornado" Ianzky
-vs-
'TNT' Dynamite Dan Thorne
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE DOWNTOWN
French Montana
-vs-
Mike Thunder
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH - BRAWL INVASION
Rampage Mystery Opponent
-vs-
William Rast
-vs-
Project Zzyzk
SEDITION RULES
Anything and Then Some Goes
DeAndre Miles
-vs-
Bryce Bridges
-vs-
Kip Kutler
___________________________________________
*We return back to the ring with Rev and Gladiator.*
Gladiator: We'll be seeing some familiar faces in and out of the ring in the coming weeks, but now it's time to introduce you to our color commentating team. I haven't had the chance to meet them yet, but they've both been personally hired by President Mac. That means as usual, they probably lack talent or came super cheap.
*The Rev squints to read the names off of a cue card.*
Rev: May I present to you.............. your new commentators for Rampage................ David Arquette and Scott Caan.
*The lights dim and images from the box office flop “Ready to Rumble” flash on the Jumbo-Tron. David Arquette and Scott Caan both walk down the aisle. Caan strutting, and Arquette skipping like some overly hyper ADD case.*
Gladiator: You gotta be kidding me! Couldn't we get George Michael back on the phone? I'm gonna kill this -redacted-! I swear I'm gonna kill him!
*David Arquette and Scott Caan enter the ring and stand before Rev and Gladiator, as if ready for inspection. Rev looks them up and down, shaking his head in disappointment as Gladiator fumes in the background ranting like a madman.*
Rev: So, Arquette and Caan. I can't tell you how lame this show suddenly got. Uh........... I'm dying to know why Mac hired you.
Arquette: Well..... it goes like this. I've been living off food stamps for the last decade. Scream 4 just ain't happening, Eight Legged Freaks flopped like the Golden Girls without their bras, and my wife won't let me back into the house until I get a job like a real man. So here I am!
Rev: Right, right. I guess we have no choice but to keep you for now. Just sit down and try not to touch anybody. Whatever you have may be contagious.
*David Arquette smiles and gives an enthusiastic double thumbs up.*
Arquette: You got it boss!
Rev: What about you, Scott? Tell us a little about yourself.
Caan: Well, my name is Scott Caan. You may remember me from Varsity Blues, American Outlaws, Oceans 11, 12 and 13.
Gladiator: Hold on a second. Did you say Scott Caan? Any relation to famous actor, James Caan?
Caan: Uh..... yeah that's my Dad. You know I'm a very accomplished actor on my own. I was even in........
Rev: Do you realize what this means?
*Rev and Gladiator are bouncing like giddy fanboys.*
Rev: We have in our possession the 2nd generation DNA of Sonny Corleone from The Godfather?!?!
Gladiator: Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!! You are a God among men!
Rev: Get this man a throne! Hire a personal masseuse immediately! Only the best accommodations for the son of Corleone!
Gladiator: Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be right back after this commercial break with more from Scott Caan,
____________________________________
Commercial for Preparation H
It itches..... but it works!
____________________________________
Commercial for Preparation H
It itches..... but it works!
____________________________________
All is quiet in the backstage area as the camera zooms in on the doorway to the lockerroom. Suddenly! The doors burst open and the Rampage roster runs out in terror as beams of light fly past them.
In the wake of this, Dr. Amy Rosen steps out, raygun in hand. She blows on the barrel and laughs to herself. Just then, Little Miss Bethington Panda crawls into view, and sits at Momma Rosen's side, carrying with her, her stuffed Daffy Duck and blankey.
Dr. Rosen: "Look at that Little Miss Bethington Panda, momma got you a playpen."
Little Miss Bethington Panda gets a joyous look on her face as she lifts her arms up and Dr. Rosen scoops her up into her arms, and shut the door behind them.
_________________________________________________
ARQUETTE: Yikes. Rev and Gladiator sure keep some bizarre friends.
CAAN: Leave it up to Amy Rosen to terrorize the entire roster in the first 10 minutes of the show.
ARQUETTE: Let's get to our first match.
DYNAMITE DAN vs TROPICAL TORNADO
”This match is set for one fall. Approaching the ring first from the Philippines, weighing in at 170lbs, the one and only Tropical Tornado”
The whistling intro of the theme song (Wind of Change) then the beat gradually beat faster, and Pyro will explode, then the tropical tornado will appear and runs/rush in to the ring (similar to London and Kendrick tag entrance), then Tropical tornado will climb the ring post, arm stretched wide open sideward, then both hands points the audience, then he will do a backflip, landing to the middle of the ring... then he will repeat the same gesture as he climb the opposite ring post.
”And his opponent, hailing from Detroit, Michigan. He tips the scales at 242 lbs. The most explosive rookie so far, here is ‘Dynamite’ Dan Thorne”
A bright white fuse starts to burn at the bottom of the ramp. The fuse burns up the ramp to the stage. The song TNT by AC/DC blast out of the sound system. Dynamite Dan walks onto the stage the fuse stops burning at his feet. Dan jumps into the air legs out to his sides. Four huge explosions of yellow, red, and orange blast off. Dan strolls down the ramp, and rolls into the ring. He climbs one of the turnbuckles. Dan takes off his silk shirt, and his sunglasses. He tosses them out into the crowd. With the arena pumped Dan does a backwards flip off the turnbuckle. When Dynamite Dan’s feet hit the wrestling mat four explosions go off around the ring. He then walks around the squared circle waiting for his opponent.
David: I don’t see why Tornado would take this match. He is at a huge height and weight disadvantage. I don’t see how he can win.
Scott: I think that there is more to Tornado than meets the eye. I don’t think that TNT should underestimate his opponent.
Sylvain calls for the bell and the match is under way. Dan and Tornado lock up to start the match before Dan shifts it into a side headlock. He cranks down on it, adding pressure to Tornado’s neck before Tornado lands a couple of elbows to the ribs, causing Dan to release the headlock. Tornado grabs Dan’s wrist and sends him into the turnbuckle. Tornado followed Dan in, landing a high knee to the back. Dan staggers away from the turnbuckle as Tornado went for a huricarana.
Scott: Tornado is really taking it to TNT. This might be over sooner than expected.
David: TNT is just letting Tornado get a head start before he puts it away.
As Tornado was rotating through to snap Dan over, Dan grabbed Tornado’s tight and went to lift him over his head. As Dan held him there, there was a twinge in his left shoulder and lost his grip on Tornado. Tornado used this moment to finish the huricarana, planting Dan in the center of the ring. Tornado kept his eyes on Dan as he went to the side of the ring. Dan was busy rubbing his shoulder to notice that he should move out of the way. Tornado measured him up before connecting with his “Tornadossault” on Dan.
1……
2……
3.
2……
3.
”The Winner of this match………..Tropical Tornado”
ARQUETTE: The sensation from the Phillipines, Tropical Tornado wins the first match here tonight. After picking up a win on Brawl, that's two wins in a row for this rookie.
CAAN: That's great. Hey, you should get one of these personal massage therapists. It was really nice of Gladiator and Rev to get me one of these. Really eases the tension. Oh yeah..... that's it........... yeah that's the spot.
ARQUETTE: Don't know why you get one and I don't.
CAAN: Cause I'm the son of the son of The Godfather.
ARQUETTE: Oh yeah, well talk to me when you've made a quality film the caliber of See Spot Run.
CAAN: Righhhhhhht. We'll be back after this.
______________________________________
Backstage:
[We see a black boot being laced up. The camera zooms out and we see that it’s Mike Thunder getting ready for his match with French Montana. He sprays some water on his hair, shakes his head back, then runs his fingers through his hair to remove the excess water. He stands up and does modified jumping jacks as a warm up. A trainer walks in with white tape and begins to tape up his hands and wrists. Meanwhile, he looks at the camera with a serious, grim look on his face.]
Mike Thunder: Frenchy, you think I’m old? I’m already displaying signs of having Alzheimer’s? Nice work, easy heat to get me at my age. But you know what? You’re nothing but an ignorant little punk who has no respect for guys like me who paved the way for guys like you. If it weren’t for guys like me, Contour, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, and so on, guess what? You wouldn’t have a job in this industry. Let me tell you something. You’re right, I am old. I am open about that. I can’t deny that shit. Go ahead, poke fun at me all you want. But listen to me, you little punk. You have no idea what you’re getting into. Let me show you something.
[The camera pans to the left where we see a big screen TV with a blue screen. The screen turns black and it appears to be an old footage from the MCW, from an edition of their flagship show Monday Night Dynamite.]
MCW Monday Night Dynamite: April 3rd 2000. Mike Thunder vs. Anton Van Bamalot.
Dave Avery: FINALLY! Thunder turns around...... He.... He's picking Bamalot up!!!!! WHY!!!!! He puts Bamalot on his shoulders, and...... Spinning DDT!!! Bamalot reversed it!!!!!!!!! There's the cover!!!!!!!
1...
2...
3!!!!!!
Summer Young: Here is your winner, Anton Van Bamalot!!!!!!!!
Todd Michaels: Bamalot has done it!!!! He will be facing Steve Metro for the Television title at Toss It Up!!!!
David Avery: and Mike Thunder is PISSED...look at him..
Todd Michaels: Well, he can get as pissed as he wants to...Anton is going to Toss It Up...
Dave Avery: OH NO!!!!! Here come the troops!!!! Eclipse..... Mucus...... Contour!!! They are all coming out with chairs, and Thunder is leaving.........
[color=blueTodd Michaels: Where the hell is he going? He running up the ramp tot he Megatron...... He's CLIMBING UP THE MEGATRON!!!!!!!![/color]
Dave Avery: Bamalot is standing up slwoly, and he's got NO CLUE that there are three hungry wolves standing right in front of him! He's to his feet, and Contour swings........ OH!!!!!!! HE BLASTED HIM!!!!!!!
Todd Michaels: Bamalot is bleeding like a drunk goat on Highway 66!!!!!! Thunder is standing on the Megatron, and he's got a microphone!!!!!
Mike Thunder: You know what? For the past couple of days, me and my boys have been creating havoc wherever we go! It's been all across the United States of America! Now, it's time for us to start in Joe Louis Arena here in lovely Detroit Michigan!!!!!!
[As he finished his statement, the Millennia guys carry the bloody Bamalot over to the Megatron, where a harnass comes down from the ceiling. They fasten Bamalot in, and while he's swinging, Mucus takes another chair shot at him, just to kep him knocked out! As the harnass SLOWLY goes up, the "boys" set up about 9 tables that were lying around..... They are stacked in 3 rows of 3 in height...... After about 1 minute, the harnass reaches Mike Thunder, who is standing on a platform on the top of the megatron... He pulls Anton Van Bamalot onto the platform, and unhooks him. He proceeds to bash him in the head with the microphone, just to make sure Bamalot is out cold. We return to Dave Avery and Todd Michaels, who are in horror]
Todd Michaels: My God..... What is this man going to do? Anton Van Bamalot does NOT deserve this! He hasn't said anything about anybody!!
Dave Avery: Well, Thunder has him..... This looks like a POWERBOMB!!!!! HE JUMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Mike Thunder has just given Anton Van Bamalot a SITTING POWERBOMB off of the 40 foot high Megatron through about 7 tables! Now, you can imagine what this scene looks like, so the MCW Network goes to a black screen until they can see what damage has been done......... We still hear the voice of Avery and Michaels]
Todd Michaels: Folks, from what I can see from back here, this has got to be something bad! I'm getting word from the back that we have turned out cameras off of Live Television...............
Dave Avery: I feel bad for Anton Van Bamalot..... I mean, the guy was already beaten to a pulp, and then that DREADED move..... And Mike Thunder, I hope he broke his neck or something!!!!
Todd Michaels: Ok, fans..... Our EMT's are at the scene....... There are NO FATALITIES, but from what I hear, it's a messy picture..... We are going to take a risk, and show you the carnage that has just occured, but PLEASE, if you have a weak stomach, or are under the age of 15, PLEASE look the other way! This is a VERY graphic view of what has just happened!!!!
[They show the powerbomb in slow motion. You can see blood flying off of Anton Van Bamalot's face as they are falling. As they hit, you see Thunder's grip slip, and Bamalot nearly ROLLING on his neck after the move. He is then collapsed under a few tables that Thunder dropped through. They then show the LIVE scene. Mike Thunder is crawling out of the rubble..... And the Millennia guys are STOMPING at the table that covers Anton Van Bamalot. You can see his blood covering some of the tables, and it takes about 40 officials and EMT's to just PULL these 3 men away from the tables, because Thunder is in no condition to "join in". As they leave, Mucus shoots a snot-rocket at Bamalot...... The scene then comes to an end.]
[/i][/center]
[The camera pans to the right to look at Thunder, who is smiling.][/color]
Mike Thunder: You see, Frenchy. I may be old, but you can’t underestimate the things I can do. If I was willing to end a man’s career just to make an impact, then surely, tonight in our match, where it’s Falls Count Anywhere Downtown, I’ll be making my debut – with an impact. Your ass is mine, Frenchy, I can promise you that. Win or lose, I’ll make an impact, and you will be sorry. After tonight, you will forever remember my name: Mike Thunder.
[The trainer tells Thunder that he’s all set and ready to go. Just then, another man comes in to tell Thunder that his match is up next. Thunder nods, and proceeds to exit the locker room, but not with some final words first.]
Mike Thunder: Mr. Montana, it’ll be a pleasure to meet you. The pleasure will be all mine.
[He exits…]
______________________________________
COMMERCIAL FOR WINDOWS 7
Now Vista free!!!
Now Vista free!!!
______________________________________
Arquette: Our next match is just your everyday standard Falls Count Anywhere Downtown Match.
Caan: That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard. There's nothing standard about that.
Arquette: Well this is the new Rampage. It'll be standard soon enough. The rules are basically as follows. The two competitors are allowed to fight and pin each other not just anywhere in this building, not just anywhere on this property, but anywhere in the downtown region of Winnipeg.
Caan: I'm excited. Maybe one of them can pay my parking meter while they're out on the town.
Arquette: Before the break we saw Mike Thunder getting ready for the match. This is the first EWC appearance for Thunder, a veteran in this sport. He's hoping to kickstart his career again today against the much younger, but less experienced French Montana. We go now to our camera units which are outside in front of the MTS Centre.
FRENCH MONTANA vs MIKE THUNDER
French Montana and Mike Thunder stand toe to toe on the sidewalk in front of the arena. A referee stands in the middle and explains the rules (or lack thereof) to both men. They stare each other down briefly. Some fans who were too cheap to buy tickets to the show inside have gathered around. Mike Thunder makes the first move with a swinging right hand, but the much faster French pops him in the mouth with a quick jab. Thunder's head flops back and French hits him with a few chops to the chest. He forces Thunder back into the crowd of fans. French dropkicks Thunder to the chest sending him crashing into the group of fans behind him. A domino effect of falling bodies hit the sidewalk one by one.
Caan: That's what those fans get for being too cheap to pay admission.
French steps over some fallen fans and picks Thunder up by the head. He bends him forward and delivers a Snap Suplex. Thunder's body flips and lands on more fallen fans. French climbs on top of Thunder and unloads a series of rights and lefts to his face. French grabs Thunder on each side of his head and begins bashing his head against the concrete. French lets up on him for a moment. He stands up and pushes some fans out of the way. French walks about 10 feet away and finds a large metal Newspaper box. He grunts as he picks it up and carries it back to Mike Thunder, who's still laid out holding the back of his head. Thunder's eyes widen as he spots French preparing to drop the Newspaper box on him. As French raises the box, Thunder locks his legs around French's ankle. He trips French up and French slowly loses his balance. He falls flat on his back with the metal newspaper box crashing down on top of his chest.
Arquette: That'll knock the wind out of you.
Caan: That'll knock the lungs out of you too.
Thunder takes his time getting to his feet. French struggles to roll the newspaper box off of his body. Thunder shoves the box aside and picks French up. Even though French is still gasping for air, he still swings his arms wildly trying to hit Thunder. Thunder simply leans from side to side ducking him each time. French lunges forward and is caught right in Thunder's arms. Thunder wraps his arms around French's body and applies a Bear Hug, squeezing the life out of him. French's eyes are now blood shot as he struggles to catch a breath. Thunder's grip is slipping so he changing plans and tosses French overhead with a Belly to Belly Suplex, sending French flying straight through a glass bus shelter.
Arquette: Holy public property damage, Scotty!
Caan: I have the feeling that's not the end of it either.
French rolls around in the shattered glass, placing his now cut and bleeding hands on a pile of glass to push himself up. Thunder grabs French by the back of the head and slams his face against one of the other glass walls still standing. Thunder continues to bash his head against the glass until it cracks and shatters. He pushes French out onto the sidewalk again. French wipes the blood from his eyes and stands to his feet. Thunder backs up and charges forward, diving in the air with a Cross Body Block. He hits French and they tumble out onto the street, right into oncoming traffic. Cars swerve out of the way and honk their horns. French and Thunder are both rolling back and forth avoiding cars. After a couple of narrow misses French crawls across two lanes all the way to the boulevard in the middle of the street. Mike Thunder stands up, jumps over the hood of a stopped car and approaches the boulevard to meet French. As he comes within inches, French thrusts his leg in the air hitting Thunder in the side of the head with a Roundhouse Dropkick. Thunder is sent backwards right into the path of an oncoming bus.
CRASH!!!
The bus slams right into Mike Thunder, sending him several feet in the air. People inside the bus scream in horror as Thunder's body flops down on the pavement.
Arquette: Someone revoke that driver's license!
As the driver gets out of the bus to check on Mike Thunder, French Montana comes up from behind him. He spins the driver around and DDTs him onto the street. French then grabs Thunder and drags him over to the bus. French takes off his belt and wraps it around Thunder's arm, attaching him to the open bus door. French then climbs into the drivers seat and speeds off away from the arena with Thunder hanging out of the door. The camera man is unable to follow and it cuts back to Arquette and Caan inside the arena.
MATCH STILL IN PROGRESS..... TO BE CONTINUED
Caan: Oh come on! How can they leave us in suspense like that?
Arquette: I don't know what's happening, but officially, this match is still going. We just have no fix on French Montana and Mike Thunder's location. We're not just gonna make all you fans sit here listening to me yak while we're waiting.
Caan: Thank God for that.
Arquette: Shut up, Scott! I'm guessing we'll just have to come back to this match once a camera crew can find these guys. If anyone at home spots a speeding bus with Mike Thunder hanging out the door, just give our hotline a call.
CAAN.: It has been quite the opening night for Rampage so far.
ARQUETTE: And it is only going to get better because our next match is a triple threat.
CAAN: Sure is, Project ZZYXX, William Rast, and a Mystery Opponent are all ready to square off tonight. Man I hope the Rampage superstar wins.
ARQUETTE: Yeah, whoever it is because tonight there is two really high up superstars from Brawl looking to capatilize in this match.
The X-tremeotron bursts to static as a whisper comes out over the PA system
Our orders are set...the war begins...are you ready to march with us?
[/b]The Rampage fans all begin to cheer as the lights in the stadium go off and the screen turns bright white and the bomb horn goes off. Clearly through out the stadium the sound of marching and a heart beat is heard and then the sound of gun fire as the white on the screen is filled with bullet holes. Which on closer inspection are easily recognizable as letters, the letters change from bullet holes to bold metallically gleaming letters, and the fans all begin to cheer as they realize what they spell. The letters "N.A.L." are clearly seen on the screen as the lights come back on and the screen clears completely, the fans all begin to chant "N.A.L." as smoke begins to come out of the bottom of the stage and covers the entrance of the entrance ramp. The opening guitar rift for "Bulletproof" by Five Finger Death Punch rings out and the lights begin to flicker white to match the guitar. From within the smoke movement is seen as Pence, Deadpool, Shadow Man, and William Rast step out to monstrous applause from the fans.
ARQUETTE: What is N.A.L. doing here tonight?
CAAN: Probably watching out for their buddy William Rast, after all he is a member of N.A.L.
ARQUETTE: Not that I have a problem with N.A.L. being here for the reboot of Rampage, but with Sedition in power...I don't think that is a good idea.
CAAN: I don't think they care, Dave. Besides with Shadow Man in N.A.L.'s corner there isn't much either Gladiator or Rev can do.
Pence salutes the fans, Shadow Man pumps his arm, Rast raises his arm with his index finger pointing to the heavens, and Deadpool makes to cut his throat and this gets another loud pop from the fans, and after finishing they make their way down to the ring slapping hands as they go, Pence and Shadow Man take some extra time to pose for some pictures for the fans, but Deadpool and Rast both all about business make their way to the ring. Pence and Shadow Man join them seconds later with beaming smiles on their face and then get into the ring, side by side with Deadpool and Rast. They all re-perform the gestures they had did on the entrance ramp as sparks begin to fall from the top of the stadium around the ring. They all stand on different turnbuckles and point at the fans as "Bulletproof" fades.
Pence gets off his turnbuckle and says something that can't be heard to all three of his co-workers and then goes over to the side of the ring and requests a microphone from the time keeper. He is kindly given what he asked for and makes his way to the center of the ring.
ARQUETTE: I suppose that Pence is going to speak on behalf of the New Age Legion.
CAAN: Shhh! I want to hear what he has to say!
Pence looks around at the chanting fans and smiles, before speaking.
Pence: Tonight ladies and gentlemen, Rampage redebuts under new management, and at the same time William Rast...
Pence points at William who is now off his turnbuckle and watching the entrance ramp for anyone who might come out and interupt the announcement.
Pence: Will be wrestling here on Rampage to save you from the monotiny of another boring Sedition run program. But that is what has been labeled on the card! There is so much more that is going to occur tonight, so much more that everyone should be looking forward to, and so much more to be applauding than just our entrance tonight!
The fans all cheer and chant some more as Pence soaks it all in before continuing once again.
Pence: Tonight the real war begins with a gun shot that will be heard around the world...tonight Sedition will learn to fear the N.A.L. and respect our power!
Shadow Man: Damn right they will.
Deadpool: We will beat the ever living [censored] out of Sedition to entertain the masses tonight.
Rast: This is going to be so [censored] Rasterific.
Pence looks at his partners who have also grabbed microphones of their own. Pence continues on.
Pence: As you can see we are ready and we are coming out gun's blazing. Tonight we will save you all by bringing a close to the Sedition chapter of Rampage before it has even began! And as such we will usher in an age of peace around all of the EWC under neath the banner of one powerful group of people and that group of people is....
All Together: The New Age Legion!
Rast: So get ready for a hell of a time!
Shadow Man: Because things are about to get real entertaining here in EWC!
Deadpool: And that is because the New Age Legion is going to dominate and destroy all of their adversaries!
Pence: To give the wrestlers in the back a fighting chance, and to give you the fans what you all payed for...and that is a night of entertainment that you soon won't forget!
This gets a pop from the fans as Pence continues to speak.
Pence: So be prepared ladies and gentlemen because me and my partners are going to do what we do best...and that is dominate the competition. So starting tonight, if the Sedition ever comes on the brand of Brawl again...me and my partners here will trash their show so bad that the New York City dump will look better than the show they produce. This is no joke and I hope you are watching, Gladiator and Rev, so you better take this threat seriously enough to not [censored] around with us.
Some fans boo, clearly Rampage fans, while others cheer, knowing that the N.A.L. are the good guys.
Pence: So lets get this match started. Do us proud Rast, me and the others will stay outside the ring.
Deadpool: Just in case you need us to step in if the Sedition try to interfere.
Shadow Man: Don't you worry, you got this Rast.
The three others leave the ring. As they start to make their way down the ramp, Rev and Gladiator appear in the entrance.
Rev: Hold on just a minute. Who let these Captain Kangaroo, Howdy Doody, do-gooders into this building?
Gladiator: And why are they slumming with Shadow Man? What's the matter Shadow, trying to redeem yourself from your many failed storylines?
N.A.L. look like they are ready to pounce, but 15 security guards step out in front of them. They are dressed in riot gear and armed with clubs.
Rev: I'm sorry gentlemen, you're little war will have to wait till later. This is the night of The Sedition, and we don't need any boyscouts screwing it up for us.
Gladiator: And don't let us see you nancy boys around here again. As for your little threat, let me assure you gentlemen of this. You have no idea what you are dealing with. You may think you know The Sedition, but I guarantee this, if you stick your nose in our business again you will see a side of The Sedition that will leave you curled up in the fetal position, sucking your thumb, crying for your mama, a position Shadow Man is very familiar with, only your mama won't be able to help you, cause she fears The Sedition too.
Rev: Nicely put my friend. A little long winded, but still nicely done. Security get these squeaky clean preppies out of here.
The security guards advance. N.A.L. try to fight them off, but there are too many security. They cuff Pence, Deadpool, and Shadow Man and drag them out. As they bring them past Rev and Gladiator, they stop and hold Pence in front of them. Rev and Gladiator step up to Pence and both spit in his face. Pence struggles to get free, but the security guards pull him away and take them out of the building. Rast stands alone in the ring. Rev and Gladiator turn towards him.
Gladiator: Willy, Willy, Willy. You shouldn't associate yourself with the likes of them. Now we have no choice, but to make you suffer.
Rev: I hope you enjoy the surprise we have for you.
Rev and Gladiator leave the stage and Rast stands in the ring awaiting his opponents.
WILLIAM RAST vs PROJECT ZZYZYX vs MYSTERY OPPONENT
CHIRQUI: “The following match is our Brawl crossover match,
Introducing first,
Hailing from Memphis, Tennessee,
Weighing in at 240 lbs,
And standing at 6 feet and 2 inches,
WILLIAM RAST!!!!”
The lights flicker while the sounds of police sirens are heard. Dumb it Down begins to play over the PA System and out comes William Rast handcuffed and accompanied by a Officer of the law. William winks at all the ladies as he makes his way to the ring. He is then un cuffed and slides into the ring, takes off his jacket and waits for the bell to ring
CHIRQUI: “Introducing second,
She hails from Parts Unkown,
Now residing in Los Angeles, California,
Weighing in at 105 lbs,
And standing at 5 feet and 2 inches,
PROJECT ZZYZYX!!!!”
"The Past Should Stay Dead" by Emarosa begins to play. The lights go down, three purple spotlights shine down on the stage, as Zzyzx and her manager, Alex Tripp, step out onto the stage. As Zzyzx makes her way further down the ramp, the lights come up following her path. Once she slides into the ring, the lights come up, and she walks to the opposite side of the ring, to wait for her opponent to get into the ring, and Alex Tripp stands in her corner.
CHIRQUI: “And their opponent,
Introducing the RAMPAGE MYSTERY OPPONENT!!!!”
The cameras shoot towards the entrance and the fans are on their feet trying to get a glimpse of who it is. No one enters. The fans wait....
…... and wait.......
…... and wait.......
The referee looks confused. Not knowing what else to do, he calls for the opening bell.
ARQUETTE: “It looks like this one is going to kick off without the mystery opponent.”
Zzyzyx and Rast step to the center of the ring. They locks up in the center of the ring. Rast grabs Zzyzyx in a Side Headlock, but Zzyzyx shoves him off towards the ropes. Rast bounces off the ropes and Zzyzyx hits him with a Jumping Calf Kick. Rast gets up on his feet and charges at Zzyzyx. Rast attempts an Axe Handle Smash, but Zzyzyx ducks down and hits him with a shoulder to the midsection. Zzyzyx bounces off the ropes and hits Rast with a Scissor Kick. Zzyzyx climbs up on the top rope. She jumps off with a Elbow Smash, but Rast gets his foot up and boots Zzyzyx in the face. Zzyzyx stumbles back and Rast gets up on his feet. He whips Zzyzyx off the ropes. Zzyzyx bounces off the ropes and Rast catches her with a Back Body Drop. Zzyzyx quickly gets up on her feet and charges at Rast, but Rast catches her with a Powerslam. Rast goes for the cover
1...
2...
Zzyzyx kicks out. Rast picks Zzyzyx up and places her on the top rope. Rast climbs up with her, lifts her up on his shoulders and delivers a Super Samoan Drop. Rast goes for the cover
1...
2...
Zzyzyx kicks out.
CAAN: “It looks like William Rast is trying to close the book on this one early.”
ARQUETTE: “You know, when I was a pro wrestler I always found the best way to win a match was to sit back and do absolutely nothing.”
CAAN: “When you wer a pro wrestler you were a primary contributer to the death of WCW.”
ARQUETTE: “Yeah, but I was the champ.”
Rast picks Zzyzyx up and tries to lift her in a Gut wrench, but Zzyzyx doesn't let Rast lift her off the mat. Zzyzyx reaches up and grabs Rast by the head. She flips him down to the mat with a Snapmare. Rast quickly gets up on his feet, but Zzyzyx hits him with a Spinning Wheel Kick. Zzyzyx picks Rast up and delivers a Snap Suplex. Zzyzyx climbs up onto the top rope, but Rast gets up on his feet. He grabs Zzyzyx by the leg and trips her off balance. Zzyzyx drops down into a seated position on the top turnbuckle. Rast climbs up to the top rope and attempts a Superplex, but Zzyzyx hits him with an elbow to the side. Zzyzyx flips over Rast and slams him to the mat with a Sunset Flip Powerbomb off the top rope. Zzyzyx goes for the cover
1...
2...
Rast kicks out. Zzyzyx goes to picks Rast up, but Rast headbutts her in the gut. Rast grabs her by the head and tosses her out of the ring. Zzyzyx gets up on her feet and Rast runs towards the ropes. He dives over the top rope and nails Zzyzyx with a Suicide Dive over the top rope. Rast picks up the ring steps and sets them up next to Zzyzyx. Rast picks Zzyzyx up in a Fireman's Carry. He drives Zzyzyx's head down to the ring steps with a Death Valley Driver. Rast picks Zzyzyx up and tosses her back in the ring. Rast slides into the ring and goes for the cover
1...
2...
Zzyzyx gets her shoulder up.
ARQUETTE: “Somehow Project Zzyzyx managed to get her shoulder up. It just shows how eager both competitors are to represent Brawl well here tonight.”
CAAN: “Nah, it's more likely that they ar trying to impress Rev and Gladiator so they don't get sent back to Brawl.”
Rast picks Zzyzyx up and lifts her up in a Military Press. Rast drops Zzyzyx into a Spinebuster, Rast goes for the cover
1...
2...
Zzyzyx kicks out. Rast picks Zzyzyx up and whips her off the ropes. Zzyzyx bonces off the ropes and Rast delivers a Sidewalk Slam. Rast runs towards the ropes and springboards off the second rope. Rast drops down on Zzyzyx with a Lionsault. Rast goes for the cover
1...
2...
Zzyzyx gets her shoulder up. Rast picks her up and sets her up for a Powerbomb, but Zzyzyx reverses with a Back Body Drop. Zzyzyx picks Rast up and delivers a Russian Leg Sweep. Zzyzyx climbs up on the top rope and drops down on Rast with a Corkscrew Moonsault. Zzyzyx goes for the cover
1...
2...
Rast kicks out.
ARQUETTE: “I'd say these two are pretty evenly matched so far.”
CAAN: “That seems to be the case, but we still have no sign of the Rampage mystery opponent. I wonder if he's gonna show up.”
ARQUETTE: “It's probably just a shameless ratings grab by Rev and Gladiator. There probably is no mystery opponent.”
Zzyzyx picks Rast up and whips him to the corner. She charges at Rast and jumps up on the second turnbuckle and delivers a Monkey Flip. Zzyzyx picks Rast up and nails him with some hits to the head. She backs Rast up against the ropes and takes a few steps back. She charges at Rast and Clotheslines him over the top rope. Zzyzyx bounces off the ropes as Rast gets up on his feet. Zzyzyx jumps over the top rope and drops down on Rast with a Diving Swanton Bomb. Zzyzyx gets up on her feet. She drags Rast to the ring steps. She places Rast's head up against the steps. Zzyzyx hits him in the head with a side kick and kicks Rast's head into the steel steps. Zzyzyx picks Rast up and tosses him in the ring. Zzyzyx climbs up on the apron. She slingshots herself into the ring and drops down with a Leg Drop, but Rast rolls out of the way. Zyzyx misses and crashes down on the mat.
The ref stands over both Zzyzyk and Rast laid out on their backs. They're breathing heavy but not moving. 10 seconds pass, then 20, then 30. No movement from either wrestler. Suddenly the lights dim and “The Imperial March” theme music of The Sedition begins to play. The fans show their annoyance at the match being interrupted by booing the General Managers. Rev and Gladiator appear at the top of the entrance ramp. They just sit there staring at the ring, shaking their heads in disapproval. Zzyzyk and Rast are climbing to their feet. They hold themselves up, looking back at Rev and Gladiator.
ARQUETTE: Well? Where's that mystery Rampage superstar?
CAAN: Maybe it's Rev and Gladiator. Maybe they're the ones planning to fight.
Arquette: Those guys are far too lazy for that.
Rast and Zzyzyk are glancing at each other and back at Rev and Gladiator, keeping their guards up in anticipation for the mystery opponent. As they stare at the entrance ramp they don't even see someone rising up behind them. A dark masked figure appears on the other side of the ring. The fans all scream as they see a masked man sclimb into the ring behind Rast and Zzyzyk.
CAAN: Who is that?
Rast and Zzyzyk are still distracted as the masked man jumps them from behind. He lays out Rast with a Double Axe Handle to the back of the head. He quickly picks up Zzyzyk and delivers a powerful Fallaway Slam. He turns back to Rast. He scoops him up high over his head and delivers a Powerbomb, tossing Rast right into the turnbuckle. Rast's head hits the corner and he falls to the ground. Zzyzyk gets up and jumps on the masked man from behind, applying a sleeper. The masked man grabs Zzyzyk and Snap Mares her over. He then picks up Zzyzyk over his head in a Gorilla Press and tosses her over the top rope. Zzyzyk flies several feet and crashes through the Spanish commentators table.
Pedro: No son modos de comportarse! Vale, se acabó, ya no te aguanto más, me voy!
The masked man turns back to Rast. He climbs on top of him and wraps his hands around Rast's throat. The veins in his forearms bulge as he squeezes the life out of Rast. After a few seconds Rast's eyes go blood shot. The referee is finally getting involved. He tries pulling the masked man off of Rast. He lets go of the choke by turning around and elbowing the ref in the mouth. The ref hits the ground hard.
ARQUETTE: That should be an automatic disqualification!
CAAN: And I'm sure he would be if he hadn't been hand picked by the GMs.
The masked man steps out of the ring. He approaches the remains of the Spanish commentators table. He steps over Zzyzyk, who's starting to come around. He picks up a TV monitor. He throws it into the ring and climbs back in. The masked man waits patiently for an injured William Rast to get to his feet. As Rast stands and faces him, he lunges forward and hits Rast in the head with the monitor, the glass screen shatters as it cracks over Rast's skull. The masked man stands ominously over Rast. He then casually walks through the ropes and heads back down the aisle. The fans boo and throw garbage at him. He keeps walking to join Rev and Gladiator at the top of the ramp. The three men stand watching the ring.
Zzyzyx finally comes around. She slides under the bottom rope. She looks down the aisle at the masked man then over to the unconscious Rast. She contemplates going after the masked man, but ultimately covers Rast. The referee comes to and slowly counts Rast down.
1....
2....
3.
Winner: Project Zzyzx
ARQUETTE: And just like that, Brawl superstar Project Zzyzx picks up a win here on Rampage.
CAAN: It's definitely not the way she wanted to win though.
ARQUETTE: It would seem Rev and Gladiator only arranged to have this masked hired gun come out here to disrupt things.
CAAN: Those guys have been trying to shake things up on Brawl for weeks.
ARQUETTE: And did you notice how that masked man pretty much passed over Zzyzx in favor of a more brutal attack on Rast? This war between the N.A.L. And The Sedition is definitely heating up.
CAAN: I'm so confused. You know, maybe this masked man isn't a hired gun from The Sedition at all. Maybe he's some bitter opponent Rast had in week's past he just wanted revenge. Who knows. There are too many possibilities to weigh.
_________________________________
The scene fades to backstage where several knocked out Rampage security guards can be seen and standing over them is Pence Weatherlight. Pence straightens his suit jacket, but looks down the hall where the camera pans around to see two more security guards rushing him. One of them reaches him first, but is taken out by a cold clock to the face, and then the other one hits him from behind, trying to choke him. Pence elbows him in the gut and then turns around delivering a quick uppercut to his jaw. Pence dusts himself off as he begins to walk down the hall.
Pence: I'm going to beat the ever living [censored] out of those two when I get my hands on them.
That is when from out of no where, Pence is hit in the face with a steel chair, he falls back a bit, clearly stunned, and then Kyle Deathlocke comes into the scene. He drops the chair, a sadistic smile crossing his face, and Pence growls in anger.
Pence: What the hell are you doing here?
Deathlocke: What do you think? Getting even with you!
Pence and Kyle begin to exchange blows and then Kyle lands a kick right to the groin of Pence who doubles over clutching at his groin and then out of no where Kyle connects with a Requim In Sj Minore on Pence on the concrete. Pence's body is motionless as Kyle gets up to a standing base with a sick smile on his face. He then says something to Pence with a sinister tone.
Deathlocke: See you on Brawl, Reaper.
The scene fades to black with Pence still laying motionless flat on his stomach and Kyle walking away.
____________________________________
Commercial for Monday Night Brawl
Monday – 8/9 PM CST – Live from New Orleans
____________________________________
Commercial for Monday Night Brawl
Monday – 8/9 PM CST – Live from New Orleans
____________________________________
ARQUETTE: Breaking news......
CAAN: Breaking news? What're you on CNN?
CAAN: Shut up, Scott. This just in...........
ARQUETTE: Hahaha! This just in.... you sound like such a tool.
ARQUETTE: Shut up, Scott! I'm trying to say that we've finally gotten a position on French Montana and Mike Thunder. We go now to the scene.
FRENCH MONTANA vs MIKE THUNDER......... continued
We pick up the action with a shot of the bus French Montana and Mike Thunder were last seen boarding. It has crashed into the side of a Salisbury House restaurant on a bridge. Yes.... that's right.......... a restaurant on a bridge. The camera shakes as the operator runs inside the restaurant to find French and Thunder. All we can see are dishes and food scattered everywhere, and customers picking themselves off the ground. As the camera approaches the far side of the restaurant we see Mike Thunder throwing French across a table. Burgers and bowls of chili fly all over the place. Thunder climbs on top of the table and waits for French to get up. When he does he flies and lands on Thunder with a Cross Body Block. He has French covered.
1....
2....
French kicks out.
Thunder picks him back up and tosses him onto another table. Thunder bends French down and delivers a Swinging Neckbreaker laying him out on another table full of food. Plates rattle and glasses break under their bodies. Thunder kicks French off the table.
ARQUETTE: How many citizens of Winnipeg are going to file a formal complaint against EWC for ruining their Friday night on the town?
CAAN: These guys should bring me back a piece of pie while they're out there. I'm getting hungry over here.
ARQUETTE: I'm sure The Sedition will have someone personally feeding you grapes by the end of the night.
Thunder grabs French by the arm and drags him through the restaurant and into the back kitchen area. The camera man follows. Mike Thunder pushes some chefs out of the way and grabs a large metal pot. He places the pot over French's head. Thunder then grabs a broom out of the corner. He raises it over his head and slams the broom against the pot on French's head. The clanking sound rings all over the restaurant. French shakes it off and covers his ears in agony.
ARQUETTE: This Mike Thunder may be middle aged and slightly out of shape, but there's still some fight left in him. Thunder's career is far from over.
CAAN: Too bad we can't say the same for your career.
Thunder scoops French Montana's body up and Bodyslams him down onto a grill. A hissing sound is heard as French shrieks and rolls off the hot grill. His back has a red welt and French crawls out of the kitchen. Thunder is huffing a puffing but has a look of determination as he slowly follows French. As he exits the kitchen he spots French disappearing behind the Mensroom door. Thunder follows. Thunder doesn't find French anywhere. He sees a toilet stall with the door closed.
ARQUETTE: Process of elimination says.
Thunder gets ready to kick open the stall, but from the other side, French Montana appears on the top of the stall door. He jumps on Thunder and executes a Spinning DDT. Thunder's head hits the floor. French takes a minute to gain his strength. As Thunder gets back on his feet, French pushes him into the toilet stall. He bends him down, locks his head between his knees. French stands on the edge of the toilet bowl and Piledrives Thunder's head right into the toilet bowl. Water splashes everywhere and Thunder flops on the ground.
CAAN: That's Winnipeg's famous million dollar toilet bowl on the bridge! He just piledrived Mike Thunder into a million dollar toilet!.
French Montana pulls Thunder's body out of the stall. With his last ounce of strength he collapses on him for a cover. The referee slides across the soaking wet floor and counts.
1....
2.....
3!
Winner: French Montana
*French Montana stands up and raises his arms in victory. Some of the people in the restaurant applaud, others dial 911 on their cells to report a violent disturbance. French shoves past the people as he leaves the restaurant. Outside he steps out onto the bridge in the middle of traffic. He raises his hand to hail a cab. A cab driver stops. Instead of going to the passenger side, French Montana swings open the door and grabs the cab driver by the neck. He tosses the terrified ca driver out of the drivers seat and into oncoming traffic. A look of terror crosses the cab driver's face as cars swerve and slam on their brakes to avoid hitting him. French climbs into the drivers seat and speeds off, leaving the petrified cab driver quivering and checking his pants to make sure he didn't soil himself. A few feet away, Mike Thunder storms out of the restaurant, limping after French's speeding cab.*
ARQUETTE: Uh......... that was................... unique.
CAAN: I can't believe he finished Thunder off with a Piledriver into a million dollar toilet.
ARQUETTE: That's an expensive finish. Where do you think French Montana was headed in that cab?
CAAN: Hopefully to the hospital after that match. Or at least to take a shower.
ARQUETTE: All I can say is that was a brilliant show of violence and athleticism, from both French Montana and Mike Thunder. Those guys have earned a lot of respect tonight. We'll be back after this break.
