FNR - Casablanca, Morroco - 2/6/10

[Sedition: The Rev]

*The show begins with a montage of clips from last Sunday's Rumble in the Bronx. Highlights include French Montana's early dominance, Mike Thunder bringing a chair into the ring and being restrained by a half dozen referees, Bryce Bridges being falsely eliminated only to have referees reinstate him in the Rumble minutes later. The montage slows down and the always predictable “danger music” cues up as the footage shifts to Rampage Gms Rev and Gladiator entering the Rumble, followed by several shots of them hiding outside the ring, followed by a shot of Rev and Gladiator sitting down at the broadcast table*

CH: “Well, it appears that we are being joined by Rev and Gladiator who evidently are still in this match though neither one of them has spent much time in the ring.”

REV: “Of course not. It's much more entertaining to watch from down here.”

MM: “Are you guys planning on getting in the ring at any point?”

GLADIATOR: “Maybe, then again maybe not. I'm having a great time. Why ruin the fun by getting in the ring?”

*The footage transitions into the brutal battle that ensued. French Montana, Bryce Brides, Mike Thunder, Captain Insanity, James Shark and Fletch Baxter all standing after the final man entered, and the cowardly Gms finally entering the ring.

As Rev and Gladiator continue to beat on Pence and Deadpool, Bryce and Thunder simply look on, not making a move. Rev yells at them “Get in the game!” Gladiator meanwhile calls over Fletch Baxter, French Montana, James Shark and Captain Insnaity. All of these men look but don't make any move to join in. Rev and Gladiator stop beating on NAL and turn to their roster. They're shouting and pointing at Pence and Deadpool laid out on the mat. Nobody on the Rampage roster is making a move. Finally Gladiator approaches Mike Thunder and screams in his face to help out. Thunder hits Gladiator on the side of the head with a right hook. Gladiator goes flying right into James Shark, who hits him with a hook as well. Rev tries to interfere but is hit from behind by Fletch Baxter. This sends him flying right into Bryce Bridges, who Clotheslines him down to the mat.

MM: Their own roster is turning on them!

HANKS: And this surprises you?

*Rev and Gladiator are bouncing back and forth between members of the Rampage roster who are left in the ring. After an uppercut from James Shark, Rev is caught from behind by Mike Thunder. Thunder picks him up over his head while James Shark scoops up Gladiator. Thunder and Shark each toss Rev and Gladiator over the top rope and they hit the floor. *

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LIVE from Casablanca, Morocco, Africa

*The arena in Casablanca is packed to the rafters. The fans are rabid as the show begins. The cheers soon die down as “The Imperial March” begins to play. A unanimous boo cries out from the thousands of Morrocans in attendance. The usually jovial Rampage General Managers, Rev and Gladiator, walk down the aisle looking rightfully upset. They storm into the ring and impatiently pace back and forth waiting for the boos to die down.*

REV: We have important business to conduct here tonight, and I know it's a lot to ask from an uncivilized country such as this, but please shut up so we can get on with the show.

*Nothing seems lost in translation. The boos continue. Rev and Gladiator shake their heads in disbelief and wait for the heat from the crowd to subside. Finally it's quiet enough to speak.*

REV: I was almost at the point of forgiving and forgetting, until I saw the intro to the show there. I can't even begin to describe how disappointed both of us are in our disloyal and selfish roster in the back. The Rumble in the Bronx was supposed to be Rampage's chance to shine. A win in the Rumble guarantees the winner a title shot at Stranglemania, but more importantly the right to headline the Strangelmania card. You think those spoiled whiny children in the back would have been able to put their egos aside for long enough to work for the better of their show. Gladiator and I are the only ones on Rampage that had competed in the Rumble before, and let's face it, we were the only ones with enough talent to actually win it.

*More boos from the crowd.

GLADIATOR: That's enough of that. The point can't be argued. Even the “unstoppable” French Montana couldn't put his ego aside for the better of Rampage. He had his choice of numbers to enter at. Had he chosen the 30th and final spot, guaranteed he would have been standing in the end. But no! He had to prove how much of a man he was by entering 2nd. Is it any coincidence that the man who won, Mr. Strange, was the last one to enter? I think not.

REV: You know even if we were able to forgive everyone for their selfish actions, how can we forgive them for actually causing our eliminations from the match? It wasn't just that they didn't play for team Rampage. It wasn't just that they refused to join in our attack on the New Age Legion. What makes me furious is that after all we've done to accommodate this roster, bending over backwards to ensure they have every bit of success they deserve, they spit in our face and throw us over the top rope. It was the Rampage roster that eliminated us! I'd hardly call that respect for your bosses!

GLADIATOR: Guess what guys? We've come to a realization. We've been too easy you. Rev and I have spent a lot of time backstage watching the roster in action, usually in between commercial breaks for more entertaining Friday night programs, but we've been watching regardless. You know what we see? A bunch of pathetic spoiled brats. Everyone has some demand. I'm not getting my main event. I'm not getting the match I wanted. My locker room doesn't have proper heating. The catering gave me the runs! You sound pathetic! Back in the days when we ran the SWA, we were hard on our talent, and the crazy thing is, they produced the most spectacular action anyone has ever seen.

So starting tonight, Rampage is getting a bit of a makeover. We've been too easy on you. It's time for a bit of a shakeup. This is the beginning of what we're calling...

The Tough Lack of Love Campaign: or How We Subjected Rampage to the Deadliest and Most Abusive Conditions Known to Man

Gotta love a title that rolls off the tongue. We start with Mike Thunder and James Shark. You were the two who actually eliminated us. So guess what? You two get to go head to head in the main event tonight. That's your “reward” for being so loyal to your bosses. In that ring, you will be subject to the dreaded “Sedition Death Match”. What insane stipulation are we sticking you with, you'll just have to wait and see. All I can say is, by the end of this night, both of you will be wishing you'd never laid your hands on us.

REV: Then there's the rest of you. Gladiator and I are willing to accept some of the responsibility for your lack of dedication. We accept part of the blame for all of turning into the sad little prima donnas you are. I think it's time we started to set examples. For starters, most of you probably heard earlier in the week how we signed the one and only Moses Lake to a record breaking contract. Moses Lake is the sickest, deadliest, and most destructive force in this business, and for the unbelievable price of $13,000,009.16, he's exclusive to Rampage. It's our hope that Moses Lake can teach everyone else here a lesson in toughening up. And let the numbers speak for themselves. When you start acting like men, you'll be rewarded like men. Moses Lake will be here tonight.

*The crowd boos.*

GLADIATOR: But ladies and gentlemen, that's not all. Torturing the roster and wasting our dollars away on a destructive force like Moses Lake is not all we have up our sleeve. Mark this date on your calendar. February 26th, 2010. That will be our first ever extended Rampage Supershow. That'll be the night the men are separated from the boys. We are just an hour away from signing one of the most monumental matches in the history of this business. We've called in a few favors, and tonight we will announce the massive main event for this month's supershow. Trust me when I say, it will be big, it will be historic, and it'll be a shocker. We'll be back a little later to introduce you to not one, not two, but THREE of this sport's greatest stars, who have all agreed to come back for one more show at the end of the month Rampage supershow. You don't want to miss this.

REV: This is THE NEW Friday Night Rampage, and things are about to get interesting.

*The “Imperial March” plays again and Rev and Gladiator leave to a chorus of boos. Rampage commentators David Arquette and Scott Caan stand at ringside with mics in hand ready to start the show.*

ARQUETTE: How about that. Lots of drama n the opening minutes of Rampage. To start with, Rev and Gladiator are promising to make things a little harder on the roster here, after about 6 of Rampage's finest stars teamed up on Rev and Gladiator during the Rumble.

CAAN: Don't forget about Moses Lake. That's what I can't wait to see! He's been gone since winning the King of the Cage last year, and most people didn't expect to see him back in the ring PERIOD, now earlier this week we get word that Lake has signed a huge contract to appear exclusively on Rampage. He's calling himself “Rampage's highest paid, and therefore best Superstar. There has been a whole lot of heat in the back since that announcement. Not just here on Rampage, but even on Brawl. A lot of people are upset that Moses Lake is being paid such a humungous sum of cash to do so very little. We'll see what Lake has to say. The Sedition have promised that he'll appear tonight.

ARQUETTE: Then last but not least, Rev and Gladiator announce that the end of the month will bring us a huge Rampage Supershow. They'll apparently be back out here later tonight to announce that main event, and according to them, it'll be a big one. Three more returning stars will be here before the end of the night. I can't even begin to speculate.

CAAN: The list is too long to even start. It could be anybody. It could be Cameron Hayden. It could be Amy Rosen.

ARQUETTE: It could be Rev and Gladiator themselves. Those guys are just arrogant enough to book themselves.

CAAN: Could be, bit that still leaves another name.

ARQUETTE: My ADD prevents me from putting any serious thought into......... well........... just about anything. Why don't we take a look at what's scheduled for tonight's show and then we'll get things underway.

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ON TONIGHT'S EPISODE


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UNDERCARD ONE
REGULAR MATCH

Bryce Bridges
-vs-
Fletch Baxter


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UNDERCARD TWO
EXTREME COMBAT RULES – MYSTERY LOCATION

Ty Luca
-vs-
Captain Insanity


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UNDERCARD THREE
REGULAR MATCH

Victor Hades
-vs-
French Montana


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SEDITION DEATH MATCH

Mike Thunder

-vs-

James Shark “Nigguh”



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REGULAR MATCH
Bryce Bridges -vs- Fletch Baxter

Edge of Seventeen by Jonas hits the PA system as the lights turn pink and green. Bryce walks out with his trademark zebra fedora. He walks with a cocky undertone, getting booed every step of the way. He goes to high five a fan who tries return the favor, but before he makes contact, he quickly lows his hand, and gives the fan a pissed off look. Bryce shakes his head in a disapproving manor and moves along. Once at the apron, he takes a step back, takes off his hat, gets a running start, and slides into the ring. Once in the ring, he does the Super Crazy front flip nip-up. He does to the turnbuckle and climbs to the second rope. He makes a chicken wing with his right arm, taunting for the roaring elbow. He climbs down from the turnbuckle. The lights go back to normal and the music fades out as Bryce prepares for the upcoming match.

Some up close images of Fletch Baxter's fat is shown on the big screen. The Eye of the Tiger hits the speakers. As the lyrics "Rising up, back on the street" begin Fletch Baxter steps out attempting to jog on the spot. He has a towel around his neck, a pair of work out shorts over top of grey sweat pants, and a poorly fitting muscle shirt hugging his gut. Fletch jogs down the aisle doing aerobics style arm raises and has already broken a sweat by the time he reaches the ring. Fletch rolls under the bottom rope and shadow boxes to warm up.

The bell rings.

Bryce Bridges gets nailed with a charging clothesline from Fletch Baxter. Baxter stomps Bryce Bridges' head. Fletch Baxter measures Bryce Bridges up and drops a closed fist. Baxter climbs back to his feet, winded but proud to be on the offensive. Bryce Bridges moves back to his feet and dropkicks Fletch Baxter, causing Baxter to stumble and slump against the ropes. Bridges punches Baxter in the back of the head. Baxter manages to turn over to his back as Bridges rakes the face of Baxter. Bridges chops Fletch Baxter, his rolls jiggling with each chop. Bryce Bridges gets hit with an elbow smash from Fletch Baxter as he forces his way off the ropes. Baxter knees Bryce Bridges and the men lock up. Bridges tries for a belly-to-belly suplex but is not strong enough to lift Baxter.

ARQUETTE: That's one of the problems people ran into at the Rumble in the Bronx. It's not so easy to lift a guy of Baxter's size up.

Bridges knees Baxter and DDT's him onto the mat. Fletch Baxter executes a jawbreaker on Bryce Bridges as he tries to pull Baxter to his feet. Baxter leg drops Bridges. Bridges tries for an atomic drop but is unable to lift Baxter. Fletch Baxter gets thrown into the turnbuckle. Bryce Bridges comes over and smashes Fletch Baxter's head into it. Bridges starts to taunt the crowd as Baxter slumps to the mat, trying to catch his breath. Baxter climbs to his feet, leaning over the ropes.

Fletch Baxter climbs out of the ring and walks over to a fan in the front row. The ref starts the count.

.1
..2
...3

ARQUUETTE: Where's he going?

CAAN: He's coming to eat you.

Fletch takes the fans drink and starts to drink it as Bryce Bridges rolls out of the ring and nails Baxter from behind, the drink spilling all over Fletch and the fan. A look of rage crosses Baxter’s face as he loses the drink. He turns around and hits Bridges with a barrage of lefts and rights, driving Bridges back against the apron. The ref continues the count.

….4
…..5
..….6

Baxter rolls Bridges into the ring and executes a pump handle suplex. Fletch Baxter bounces Bryce Bridges off the ropes and face slams him onto the mat. Baxter hits Bridges with an elbow drop. Baxter looks to the corner of the ring and starts to climb the turnbuckle. He gets to the second rope before he gets tired.

ARQUETTE: Fatique starting to kick in yet again for Baxter.

CAAN: He might have a heart attack if he misses.

Baxter leaps off the turnbuckle as Bridges rolls out of the way just in time. Baxter lands face first on the mat. Bridges kicks Baxter in the ribs before pulling him to his feet. Bridges executes a near perfect DDT on Baxter. Bridges locks in a single leg Boston crab. The ref checks to see if Baxter quits. Baxter fights the hold, trying to wiggle free. Bridges tightens the hold and Baxter screams out in pain. The ref checks again and Baxter taps out.

Winner: Bryce Bridges.


ARQUETTE: Bryce Bridges wins again. Fletch Baxter put up a good fight, but it just wasn't his night. You gotta give it to a guy of his size for putting up the fight he did.

CAAN: So here we are a month into the new Rampage, and The Sedition still refuse to give Bryce Bridges his main event after making countless promises. They made him go against Victor Hades, now dropped him down to the opening match. You think next week will finally be his chance?

ARQUETTE: I have a theory about that? It goes like this....

LOSS OF SIGNAL

ARQUETTE: Uh........ what just happened?

CAAN: What do you think just happened?

ARQUETTE: I'd call it technical difficulties.

CAAN: I'd call it constructive editing. Someone in the back must have been tired of hearing you talk.

ARQUETTE: Wouldn't be the first time.

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As the show fades in French Montana and Travis Pusher are seen exiting a black Lincoln Navigator limousine with a cell phone in his ear. They look around at the locals standing outside of the Rampage event and make their way inside as a couple of brave Moroccans run up and attempt to gain autographs. Montana quickly raises his back hand daring any of them to come closer, which they don’t, as he and Pusher enter the arena. Once inside the doors they continue their way down through the hallways with a determined swagger. French produces a cigarette and a lighter and soon begins inhaling nicotine, ignoring the ‘Do Not Smoke’ signs. They reach an intersection within the building that produces multiple paths and they stop to survey the area. Pusher nudges French and they continue straight ahead down another hallway. While walking more and more EWC backstage workers are seen busily stirring about doing their respective jobs that make Rampage work. They reach the end of the hallway and make a right. The hum of the crowd is rapidly increasing as they continue. They reach the last stretch of walkway where bright lights and anticipation leak through a slit in a dark curtain…

The unmistakable screeching sound of electric guitars from "D'you Know What I Mean" by Oasis hits the speakers as the lights dim to dark... The fans rise to their feet in a HUGE mixed reaction. The snare pops from the music and the lights turn to a gray and black mixture as the television camera goes to complete black and white. As the music continues, out steps the man known as French Montana smoking a cigarette, followed by Pusher. A chant of ‘French’ can be heard gaining momentum among the crowd as well as the rumble of the entire arena stomping their feet.
They pause to soak in the roar as more fans than usual are pro-Montana. Several fireworks and exploding devices continuously set off for a 10 second period. The loud noise causes some of the fans to cover and plug their ears. The music continues as French and Pusher casually walk down to the ring, interacting with the fans with sneers and frigid glares. They reach the steps of the ring and Pusher swiftly rolls under the bottom rope while French slowly looks to the sky, points and mumbles something to himself. Then in one leap hits the top turnbuckle to cause yet another 10 second round of fireworks and exploding devices to set off... Slyly he confidently poses his chiseled frame to a chorus of cheers and boos from the crowd as Pusher slouches in the opposite corner. French produces a mic from the small of his back and speaks…

“Ya know, I usually don’t do this…”

The chant of his name kicks up again causing him to stop and take it in for a second, then continuing.

“…Normally I leave this bleeping in ring talking to the rest of the idiots in the back. But, I’ve been here for a couple days now and I’ve gotten a rather surprising welcome. Considering I’ve never been to this country before, it is a revelation to know that French Montana is a definite Moroccan favorite.”

The crowd gives a huge pop.

“…Well, you can bleeping KEEP IT!”

The crowd quickly emits a thunderous roar of boos. Montana looks over at Pusher, who is still slouched in the turnbuckle and smirks, then continues.

“If there is ANYTHING…and I mean… ANYTHING, that I’ve learned in life is: Don’t put too much into your admirers, because any day they could become your advisories.’ So bleep it, I’d rather strike first then react. Any and every opportunity I can get, I take advantage of and I execute efficiently.”

French gives a look out across the booing audience with a mean scowl, then flicks the remaining portion of his cigarette into the crowd. This causes a renewed roar of boos.

“I told everyone that I am the bar. I am an example that should be followed thoroughly! I walked through the ENTIRE bleeping company at Rumble In The Bronx. Not one single person even saw that coming at all. They mentioned names of the weak, useless voids that inhabit the EWC payroll as favorites. …Yet, it was French Montana that walked into the ring second, and came up one person short to win it all.
And can YOU believe that the ONLY person that could top me, was the LAST MAN in the ring! I mean, Strange was in the ring what… ten minutes or so? He was very rested, he was the most composed so, he won. I can deal with that, no problem. So, my question to Sedition is; why do you sick your little goblin on Rampage’s most consistent draw? Isn’t the point of this business to create the biggest stars and lure the biggest draws? Yet, you submit to the griping and bellyaching of the rest of the roster when it comes to the main event slot and just simply give it away… LITTERALLY. While Montana goes through your barb wire cage matches, your karoke matches, and your tag matches… Others can simply not show up for the night of the show, or if they do show up they lose, and lose big time.

I am growing tired of this clown show. You two walk around living life as a sarcasim…that’s all fine and dandy until you’re in my reach. Then the ONLY thing that will be funny is counting the bleeping stitches you’ll be left with.”

The crowd continues to boo.

“Rev, you can run around here like a Goddamned bleepinglittle five year old girl when you see BDC, but I never have and never will run from anyone! I suggest you grow a pair or don’t GM any more. It’s bleeping worthless to give your blood sweat and tears to a brand only for the GM to fold every time there is trouble.”

More boos.

“And before I leave… I did say I hit first right?... Well then FUCK MOSES LAKE!! That f*g gets a million for nothing?... Uh-uh! Not while I’m on Rampage. Your only back because you caught the same ‘I gotta try it again’ bug as BDC. You may have had Rampage before, AND all the World Titles you can name… But it’s 2010. French Montana’s era… Lake…

GET DOWN OR LAY DOWN BITCH!!”

Montana’s music cues up as the chorus of boos continues. Pusher and French leave the ring paying no attention to the fans.


ARQUETTE: Ouch. French Montana doesn't seem too happy with Moses Lake.

CAAN: I think he's more upset that Moses Lake is being paid millions upon millions upon millions to do squat, while he's out here busting his butt week after week. You know, kind of like how you're always freaking out cause I'm still making coin for doing big screen movies and you're living off food stamps.

ARQUETTE: Whatever his reason for being angry is, he'll just have to wait for a response. We've still yet to hear from Moses Lake. It has been promised that he'll join us tonight.

CAAN: Time to keep this show moving. Our next match is Extreme Combat Rules. That's a fancy way of saying anything goes. It's scheduled to take place in a mystery location. We have camera crews standing by somewhere here in Casablanca ready to cover the whole thing. Two of Rampage's Hardcore icons, Ty Luca and Captain Insanity are about to go head to head. This is part of The Sedition's “tough lack of love campaign”. Subjecting Rampage to the most deadly and abusive conditions known to man. We go to our mytsery location now.

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EXTREME COMBAT RULES
Ty Luca -vs- Captain Insanity

CHIRQUI: “Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for our Extreme Combat, mystery location match. In honour of one of Gladiator's favorite movies Casablanca, this match between Ty Luca and Captain Insanity will take place at Rick's Café Américain, the restaurant featured in the movie. Pinfalls will count anywhere inside the restaurant.”

Captain Insanity and Ty Luca stand inside a restaurant. It is decked out identically to the restaurant in the movie Casablanca. A black man in a white suit sits down at a piano and starts to play the unforgettable song from the movie Casablanca.

SINGER: ”You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is still a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by”

As Insanity stares at the singer in complete disbelief of what he's hearing, Luca grabs a champagne bottle off of a nearby table. He sneaks up behind Insanity and cracks him over the head with the bottle. The bottle shatters on his head and he gets soaked with champagne. Insanity stumbles back against the bar. Luca dashes towards him, and Insanity ducks down and Back Body Drops him over the bar. Insanity reaches over the bar to grab Luca, but Luca springs up. He has the beer tap spritzer in his hand and sprays Insanity in the face with it. Insanity backs away wiping the liquid from his eyes. Luca climbs up on the bar and leaps off. He hits Insanity with a Missile Dropkick. Insanity flies back and crashes through one of the tables. Luca grabs the table cloth and wraps it around Insanity's throat. He chokes Insanity out with the cloth. The singer continues his song.

SINGER: ”And when two lovers woo
They still say: "i love you"
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by”

ARQUETTE: “I've never found a love song so creepy before in my life.”

CAAN: “Maybe it's because we are watching a man get the life choked out of him while hearing it.”

Insanity gets up on his feet. Luca still has the table cloth around his throat. Insanity rips the table cloth off his neck. He hits Luca with a Big Boot to the face. Luca stumbles back. Insanity Spears him through the swinging door into the kitchen area. Insanity turns on the burners of the stove. He grabs Luca by the head and hits him with a couple of hard hits to the jaw. Insanity grabs Luca by the head an presses his cheek against the element of the stove. Luca howls in pain as his cheek gets burned on the element. Insanity let's go. Luca drops down to the ground. He has a horrible burn mark on his cheek. Insanity grabs a couple of frying pans. He holds them both up as Luca gets to his feet. Insanity tries to clap the pans on Luca's head, but Luca ducks it. Insanity cracks the pans together. Luca reaches over and grabs a glass pitcher. He shatters it over Insanity's head. Insanity stumbles back through the swinging doors. Luca follows him out. He picks Insanity up and sets him up for a Powerbomb, but he can't get Insanity up. Insanity lifts Luca up on his shoulders and slams him through a table with an Alabama Slam. The table shatters and Luca hits the ground. Insanity grabs a fork from the ground. He grabs Luca by the head and attempts to stab him with the fork. Luca grabs Insanity's hand and tries to push it away. Insanity tries to push it forward, and Luca tries to push it away. The song continues.

SINGER: “Moonlight and love songs - never out of date
Hearts full of passion - jealousy and hate
Woman needs man - and man must have his mate
That no one can deny”

ARQUETTE: “From now on, whenever I hear this song I will picture a crazy man trying to stab me with a fork.”

CAAN: “I'll never watch Casablanca ever again.”

Insanity finally overpowers him. He rips away from Luca's hand and raises the fork in the air. He stabs it down, but Luca rolls out of the way. Insanity stabs the fork into the ground. Luca gets up on his feet. Insanity dashes towards him, but Luca grabs him by the head. He tosses Insanity through the restaurant window. The window shatters and Insanity drops down on the concrete sidewalk. Luca comes outside to the sidewalk. Insanity gets up on his knees. Luca stands behind him, and hits him with THE HIT. Luca goes for the cover, but the ref is nowhere to be found. Luca goes into the restaurant to grabs the ref. The ref informs him that pinfalls count only inside the restaurant. As Luca is talking to the ref inside a local passes by on the sidewalk. He looks down at Insanity passed out on the sidewalk. He sniffs the booze on him. The local has a look of disgust. He drops a $5 dollar bill on him.

LOCAL: “Clean yourself up you stupid drunk.”

ARQUETTE: “Hey, he must think Captain Insanity is homeless or something.”

CAAN: “Maybe Captain Insanity can donate that $5 to the save the Rampage production values fund.”

Luca comes to the sidewalk. He looks down and sees the $5 dollar bill. Luca picks up the bill and pockets it. He picks Insanity up and tosses him back into the restaurant. The song continues.

SINGER: ”It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by”

Luca picks Insanity up and drops him down to the floor with a DDT. Luca climbs up on the bar. He jumps off with a Flipping Leg Drop. Insanity rolls out of the way and Luca hits the floor hard. Insanity picks Luca up. Insanity throws Luca on top of the bar. He pulls a table close to the bar. Insanity climbs up on the bar and lifts Luca up. He lifts him up and drives his head through the table with a Tombstone Piledriver. Luca lies in the wreckage of the table and Insanity goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Luca gets his shoulder up. The piano player finishes playing the last few bars of the song and takes a break. Insanity drags Luca over to the piano. He bashes Luca's head on the keys and terrible sounds come from the piano. Insanity continues playing the piano with Luca's head. He looks at the piano player and shouts at him.

CI: “Play it again Sam!”

Insanity pulls Luca's head back and drops him with a Reverse DDT. The piano player returns to his seat and begins to play again. This time the song sounds horrible because Insanity damaged some of the keys. He begins to sing again.

SINGER: ”You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is still (just) a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by”

ARQUETTE: “Funny, I never would have thought that Captain Insanity would have liked this kind of music.”

Insanity lifts Luca up to his feet and sets him up for a suple, Luca reverses the suplex, and drives Insanity's head down to the floor with a Brainbuster. Luca grabs a serving tray from off one of the tables. Insanity gets up to his feet. The singer continues his song.

SINGER: ”And when two lovers woo
They still say: i love...”

Just as the singer is in mid sentence, Luca swings the serving tray. Insanity ducks it and the singer gets hit in the head and gets knocked off his bench. Insanity grabs Luca from behind and tosses him back and through another table with a German Suplex.

ARQUETTE: “Finally someone shut that singer up. I'll never get that song out of my head.”

Insanity picks Luca up and sets him up for a Powerbomb. Luca drops down to his knees and headbutts Insanity to the groin. Insanity doubles over. Luca picks him up. Luca climbs up on a table. He lifts Insanity up and delivers a Powerslam onto the piano. Insanity and Luca both smash through the piano. Luca gets up and rolls Insanity out of the wreckage of the piano. He lifts Insanity up and once again hits him with THE HIT. Just before Luca goes for the cover two men in suits come out from the kitchen area. They have baseball bats. The two mobster looking men attack Luca. The first guy hits him in the gut with the baseball bat. The second one then hits him over the head. Luca drops down to the ground. The mobster guys leave the restaurant and Insanity looks up. He sees Luca down on the ground. Insanity slowly crawls his way over an goes for the cover,

1...

2...

3.

CHIRQUI: “Here is your winner, CAPTAIN INSANITY!!!”


CAAN: I'm hurting just watching these guys. That was unique, don't you think?

ARQUETTE: You must remember this, a kiss is still a kiss.....

CAAN: What is wrong with you?

ARQUETTE: Huh? I'm sorry. After a while that song kind of grows on you.

CAAN: Hey, is it just me, or do those lights up there look a little dim to you?

*The camera tilts up. David Arquette and Scott Caan closely watch as the lights in the rafters grow dimmer and dimmer. The bulbs fade to black and a low humming drone can be heard which fades to silence just as the lights go dark. Fans in the arena scream in terror.*

CAAN: Yep. Definitely looking a little dim.

*After a few more seconds in complete darkness, hum of the generators kicks in and and the lights come back on full strength.*

CAAN: That was interesting. That's the second technical difficulty we've had tonight. Isn't that right David? David............. where are you?

*Scott Caan looks 10 feet away and sees David Arquette on his hands and knees screaming and balling like a crazed maniac.*

ARQUETTE: This is the end! We're all doomed! The apocalypse has come! I'm too young to die!

CAAN: David!

*David turns and sees Scott. He looks up and discovers the lights back on. David wipes a few tears from his face and casually sits back in his chair.*

ARQUETTE: I have no excuse for my outburt.

CAAN: Why don't we throw to commercial and save you from more embarrassment.

ARQUETTE: Agreed.

[Sedition: The Rev]

CAAN: That was pretty much the worst commercial I've ever seen.

ARQUETTE: This is getting ridiculous. How many more things can go wrong tonight? The transmission went to static once, the power to the entire arena cut out, we lost the lights for close to a minute, and now we get a test pattern where the commercial break should be. What is going on here?

CAAN: I sure hope we can get these technical problems fixed before Moses Lake delivers his Via satellite address.

ARQUETTE: You know if I was a smart man..

CAAN: Which you're not.

ARQUETTE: Which I'm not. I would think that there's a connection between this week's contract signing of Moses Lake for $13,000,009.16 and our technical problems tonight.

CAAN: Explain.

ARQUETTE: With all the money Rev and Gladiator have already squandered away, they've gotta be digging deep in the budget to sign Lake for that kind of money.

CAAN: You're paranoid.

ARQUETTE: Am I? Then would you care to explain why the broadcast table is constructed out of cardboard?

CAAN: This is Morocco? Give these poor third worlders a break.

ARQUETTE: Put two and two together, Scotty.

CAAN: You know, now that you do mention it, that video guy there seems to be shooting the matches on the camera from his Motorola Razr.

ARQUETTE: Why do I get the feeling these budget cuts are only gonna get worse.

CAAN: They'd better not interfere with the next match. French Montana and Victor Hades. This has classic written all over it.

ARQUETTE: After the comments Frenchy made earlier tonight about Moses Lake, I have a feeling he'd paddle all the way across the Atlantic on a dingy to punch Moses Lake in the head if anything interrupted his match. Lets all just pray things go well over the next 10-20 minutes. Here it comes. French Montana and Victor Hades.

°º²l]FNR[l²º°''˜¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨˜''°º²l]§§[l²º°''˜¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨˜''°º²l]2010[l²º°


REGULAR MATCH
Victor Hades -vs- French Montana

CHIRQUI: “Introducing First,
Hailing from Los Angeles, California,
Standing at 6 feet and 3 inches,
And weighing in at 260 lbs,
VICTOR HADES!!!”

The silence of the crowd stirs around the atmosphere of the arena as it suddenly becomes disturbed by the sound of a horrific and deafening scream, a white mist begins to seep through from the ramp way, its swirling life source, only to cast itself lovingly into the air and towards the stage. The crowd looks on worried, each and every face being filled with simple fear as their hearts beat rhythmically with the bright-sensitive flickering lights of death… a sickening blue light only to swoon over the crowd. Just as any search light does when picking sight of its criminal… another one only to follow it in its quest. Suddenly a large circle of fire arises in a quick counter-clockwise motion, before exploding upwards as a tall dark figure appears within the center of the flames. Followed just seconds later by the pounding beats of "Bulletproof" by Five Finger Death Punch, as it blares across the helpless PA system. Exhaling calmly he moves casually down the ramp way with the bright white light behind him, as he slides into the ring in a black t-shirt with his logo design across the front clinging securely to his masculine frame. Stepping to the center of the ring while overlooking the crowd disgusted, he lowers his head and brings his fists over his face. He begins throwing clenched fists pounding against his forehead in a violent manner. Screaming words to himself before snapping his head back as his dreadlocks fly from his face, within that moment all four turnbuckle posts are lit up by the explosive pyrotechnics as they erupt. Holding his arms held high with clenched fists, while he then lowers his arms and calmly exhales turning to the stage awaiting his opponent.

CHIRQUI: “And his opponent,
Hailing from Newark, New Jersey,
Standing at 6 feet and 3 inches,
And weighing in at 230 lbs,
FRENCH MONTANA!!!”

The unmistakable screeching sound of electric guitars from "D'you Know What I Mean" by Oasis hits the speakers as the lights dim to dark... The fans rise to their feet in a HUGE mixed reaction. The snare pops from the music and the lights turn to a gray and black mixture as the television camera goes to complete black and white. As the music continues, out steps the man know as French Montana. Several fireworks and exploding devices continuously set off for a 10 second period. The loud noise causes some of the fans to cover and plug their ears. The music continues as Montana casually walks down the ramp with a swagger of an invincible man. His look is careless as he rarely acknowledges a fan except to stare an chuckle at their sneers. His true fans sing along with the music as Montana slowly and methodically works his way to the ring. Never seeming in a rush as he reaches the steps of the ring, he slowly looks to the sky, points and mumbles something to himself... Then in one leap hits the top turnbuckle to cause yet another 10 second round of fireworks and exploding devices to set off... Slyly he confidently poses his chiseled frame to a chorus of cheers and boos from the crowd as they know French Montana has entered the ring.

ARQUETTE: “Both of these men are forces to be reckoned with here on Rampage. This should be quite a match.”

Montana charges at Hades and Spears him to the ground. Montana starts punching Hades to the forehead. The fans count along as Montana punches Hades 10 times. Montana picks Hades up and throws him out of the ring. Montana climbs up to the top rope. Hades gets on his feet and Montana jumps off the top rope with a Frog Splash style Cross Body Block. Hades drops to the ground. Montana picks Hades up and attempts to whip him to the barricade, but Hades reverses the whip and hits Montana with a Short Arm Clothesline. Hades picks up a chair. Montana gets up on his feet and Hades nails him hard over the head with the chair. Montana stumbles back, but doesn't fall off his feet. Hades hits him again and Montana once again stumbles, but doesn't fall. Hades backs up and leaps forward and nails Montana with the chair one more time. Finally Montana drops down to the ground. Hades gets up and picks Montana up. He executes a Tombstone Piledriver to the concrete. Hades picks Montana up and throws him in the ring. Hades rolls into the ring and covers Montana,

1...

2...

Montana kicks out. Hades picks Montana up and whips him off the ropes. Montana bounces off the ropes and Hades delivers a vicious Spinebuster. Hades goes for the cover again,

1...

2...

Montana kicks out. Hades picks Montana up and throws him out of the ring. Hades rolls out of the ring. He grabs a cameraman and throws him down to the ground. Hades picks up the video camera. Montana gets up on his feet and Hades nails him over the head with the camera. Montana drops to the ground and Hades smashes the camera on the ground.

ARQUETTE: “There goes one of our cameras.”

CAAN: “Too bad Rev and Gladiator can't afford to replace it.”

Hades picks Montana up and drags him to the ring. He throws Montana into the ring and rolls in. Hades goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Montana gets his shoulder up. Hades rolls out of the ring and grabs the ring bell. He climbs into the ring with the bell in his hand. Hades places the bell in the middle of the ring. He picks Montana up and executes a Front Russian Leg Sweep. On the way down Montana's face hits the bell. Hades goes for another cover

1...

2...

Montana kicks out. Hades climbs up on the top rope. Montana gets up on his feet. Hades dives off the top rope with a Double Axe Handle, but as he drops down Montana hits him with a Superkick to the face. Hades stumbles back and leans against the ropes. Montana picks up the bell and runs at Hades. Montana hits Hades over the head with the bell and he flips over the top rope and drops down to the outside. Montana climbs up to the top rope. Hades gets up on his feet and Montana jumps off the top rope with the bell in his hands and nails Hades over the head with the bell on the way down. Hades drops down to the concrete and Montana drops the bell.

ARQUETTE: “Great, whatever equipment we have here tonight that isn't falling apart, the competitors are using.”

CAAN: “They better stay away from the massage chair in my dressing room.”

ARQUETTE: “No, that's safe until Rev and Gladiator have to sell it to afford Moses Lake's next paycheque.”

Montana picks Hades up and throws him into the ring. Montana goes underneath the ring and pulls out a table. He sets the table up on the outside of the ring. Montana rolls into the ring and picks Hades up. He places Hades on the top turnbuckle facing the outside. Montana steps out on the apron. He climbs up to the top rope and executes a Super Hurricanranna through the table. The fans jump out of their seats and again start chanting EWC! EWC! EWC! Montana slowly gets up on his feet. He picks Hades up and throws him into the ring. Montana climbs up on the apron and climbs up to the top rope. He dives off and drops down on Hades with a Frog Splash. Montana goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Hades gets his shoulder up. Montana picks Hades up and whips him off the ropes. Hades bounces off the ropes and Montana delivers a Belly to Belly Suplex. Montana picks Hades up and whips him off the ropes. Hades bounces off the ropes and Montana ducks down, but Hades grabs him by the head and executes a Running DDT. Both men lie out cold on the mat and the ref begins to count them both down

1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9...

Hades rolls over and covers Montana,

1...

2...

Montana kicks out. Both men get up on their feet and Montana runs at Hades and does a Sunset Flip over him. Montana tries to pull Hades down for the pin, but Hades reaches down and grabs Montana by the neck. He lifts Montana off the mat and into the air. Hades then Chokeslams Montana down to the mat. Hades goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Montana kicks out. Hades picks Montana up and throws him to the outside.

CAAN: “Why is it sometimes the ref counts people out and other times he doesn't?”

ARQUETTE: “Probably laziness.”

Hades steps out of the ring. He grabs Montana and Piledrives him to the concrete. Hades picks Montana up and throws him onto the broadcast table. Hades climbs into the ring and climbs up to the top rope. He dives off the top rope and drops down on Montana with Superfly style Splash. They both crash through the broadcast table.

CAAN: “Poor broadcast table. They never seem to last around here.”

Hades is slow to get up on his feet. He picks Montana up and rolls him into the ring. Hades climbs in and goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Montana kicks out. Hades picks Montana up. He lifts Montana onto his sholders. As he does Montana accidentally kicks the ref. Hades delivers CLOSED CASKET. Hades goes for the cover, but the ref is out. Hades turns to the ref and tries to revive him. Montana gets up on his feet. The ref gets up and Hades turns towards Montana. Montana bounces off the ropes and hits Hades with THE FRENCH CONNECTION. Montana goes for the cover and this time the ref is in place,

1...

2...

3.

CHIRQUI: “Here is your winner, FRENCH MONTANA!!!”


ARQUETTE: Last Sunday he entered the Rumble in the Bronx in the number 2 position, and lasted the entire duration of the match before being eliminated by Mr. Strange. Today he picks up a very close win over Victor Hades. Can French Montana be stopped?

CAAN: According to French Montana he can't.

ARQUETTE: And now he wants a piece of Moses Lake.

*David Arquette hears something in his ear piece.*

ARQUETTE: Ladies and Gentlemen, I've just been informed that we finally do have Moses Lake, via sattelite.

The titantron then begins to show what appears to be a live-feed from Moses Lake's yacht, somewhere in the Mid-Atlantic. Moses is flanked by beautiful Asian women on either side of him.

He begins to speak, but it becomes very apparent that there's some sort of problem with the connection as the video keeps lagging and the audio cuts in and out.

MOSES: Hello... I just... it's great... Ramp... Rev... Ator.

ARQUETTE: This is ridiculous.

The video then freezes. Moses, as per usual, has a stupid look on his face. The video then fades to black, with the words "SIGNAL LOST". We then cut to Scott and David at the announcer's booth.

CAAN: Well, that's what happens when you blow your entire budget on one superstar, your production values go down the crapper.

ARQUETTE: I know, Scott. I-

David Arquette is interrupted by a loud cracking noise and he falls behind the table.

CAAN: What the hell just happened?

ARQUETTE: The milk crate that I have to use for a chair just collapsed.

CAAN: Great. Just great. Moses Lake: money well spent. I'm getting word now from backstage that Moses Lake has confirmed that he will appear in person next week, but, I'm not entirely sure, since - due to budget concerns - our headsets are tuned to the same radio frequency as the local police.

David Arquette has pulled himself to his feet.

ARQUETTE: I think I need a doctor.

CAAN: All we got here tonight is a elementary school nurse.

ARQUETTE: If I didn't need a pay check so badly I'd walk right out of this arena now.

CAAN: And miss the big announcement? Still to come here on Rampage, The Sedition promises to announce which returning Hall of Famers will face off at the end of the month in the Rampage Supershow. That's up next. We'll return right after this commercial break.




ARQUETTE: Oh crap.

[Sedition: The Rev]

The Theme from Patton plays and Gladiator makes his way out to the ring. The fanns boo loudly as he climbs into the ring. Gladiator raises a mic and begins to speak.

GLADIATOR: “As we await the rest of the carnage that will take place tonight, I thought that I would take this opportunity to make our next huge announcement. In addition to the Moses Lake signing, Rev and I have been working very hard behind the scenes to put together something huge. Over 9 years ago Rev and I branched out from the EWC and formed the Sedition Wrestling Alliance. What started out as a small organization turned into something huge. We developed one of the largest cult followings in wrestling history. No we didn't sell out stadiums, but we did have the most loyal fan base known to man. Rev and I would like to treat those loyal SWA fans. So on Friday February 26th, Rampage will be a supersized SWA tribute show.”

Some cheers now can be heard from the fans.

GLADIATOR: “At this supersized tribute show, each match will be fought under a different unique Sedition Wrestling Alliance stipulation. You may see the return of the Death Plummet Match, or maybe the Scaffold above powerlines match, or maybe my personal favorite, the Anything goes on a bus that can't go slower than 50 mph match. Anyway you look at it, you fans are in for a treat.”

Some fans scratch their heads at the ludicrous match suggestions, others cheer knowing just how awesome those matches were.

GLADIATOR: “So, as I sat in my office, I started thinking what could make this supershow complete? What could be the main event worthy of a SWA tribute, and suddenly it came to me. SWA launched the careers of many superstars. As I look at the men who came from the SWA and made their mark on this business. 3 men came to mind. These 3 men will square off in a triple threat match in the main event of the SWA tribute show. All 3 men, like Rev and I have their place in the E-Wrestling Hall of Fame. The competitors are...

(Dramatic Pause)





(Drumroll)







(Ridiculously long dramatic pause with a drumroll




Hurricane Jeff, Michael Saint, and Kid Cactus!!!”

The fans erupt with thunderous cheers in anticipation of the awesomeness that will come from a match involving these three legends.

GLADIATOR: “These 3 men made up the backbone of SWA... well Jeff and Saint never did amount to much, but they would have if Rev never lost the ownership of the SWA on an unlucky hand of Blackjack. Stupid moron, never hit when you're at 19. Anyways, let's bring them out. Introducing first, former SWA Champion, and former EWC Vice President KID CACTUS!”

“Cowboy” by Kid Rock plays and Kid Cactus makes his way down to the ring. The fans cheers are deafening and everyone is on their feet. Kid Cactus poses on the ropes. He steps to the middle of the ring and reluctantly shakes Gladiator's hand. Kid Cactus poses once again. Gladiator gives him a mic.

KID CACTUS: “I must be nuts to agree to this. For years I stood opposite Rev and Gladiator, doing everything in my power to make them miserable. I even fought them for control of the SWA briefly. Why would I come back to work for them againb, even for one night? Simply put, because SWA was my home. My career started in SWA. Then the day came when EWC became my second home. I never thought the day would come when both promotions would come together. As much as my mind told me to stay away, I can't resist the challenge. Nothing in my life compared to the brutality and pain I went through in SWA. I think the Jersey Cowboy is ready for one more round.

The crowd pops as Kid Cactus raises his arms to the crowd. KC passes the mic back to Gladiator.

GLADIATOR: “Next we have the man who got his start in the SWA, and has gone on to win multiple titles here in the EWC, and like Kid Cactus served as EWC Vice President. He is the current President of Kenshiki Championship Wrestling, MICHAEL SAINT!!!”

House of the Rising Sun by The Animals hits on the PA as Michael Saint starts to make his way to the ring with a white spotlight shinning on him. Saint enters the ring and walks to the center before taking a knee. Saint puts out his arms looking on at the crowd. He receives a mixed response from the crowd. Many cheer, but some boo. Gladiator hands him a mic.

MICHAEL SAINT: “You know it feels good to be back on Friday Night Rampage again and I am sure that you all know my history in the EWC. Before I came to EWC I was in SWA with my two opponents. The difference between Michael Saint in EWC and Michael Saint in SWA is that in SWA I was untapped potential. I was not a big star yet. After SWA went under I went on to bigger and better things, but one thing has always bothered me. I have always wanted my chance to prove I was better. I wanted to show I could beat people like Kid Cactus and Hurricane Jeff. For too long these two men have avoided me. I called them both out on multiple occasions. Now I finally get my chance to show everyone in the world that it was not Kid Cactus, Hurricane Jeff, or anyone else that was the brightest shinning star to ever come out of the Sedition Wrestling Alliance it was me Michael Saint. I will admit that I have respect for Kid Cactus, but I know I can beat him. Hurricane Jeff well I know I can beat him too, but I do not respect him. A yellow streak runs down his back and I would not be shocked to see him not show up rather than finally finding out that he was never as good as I am.”

The fans cheer, clearly siding with Saint over Hurricane Jeff. Saint hand Gladiator the mic and Gladiator shakes his hand.

GLADIATOR: “Finally, we have a man who took SWA by storm in his short time there. He is the man who won the only Loser Gets Shot In The Face Match in the history of wrestling. He is no stranger here in the EWC. He has also won many championships here, and served on staff. He is now the President of the enormously popular Action Packed Wrestling. He is HURRICANE JEFF!!!”

Just then, “Raining Blood” by Slayer hit’s the PA. The EWC fans begin to boo as Hurricane Jeff’s face appears on the Titantron. A man walks out through the curtains who is clearly not hurricane Jeff. He is dresses as a business man, wearing a fancy suit. He walks down to the ring, ignoring the crowd as he enters the ring and is handed a microphone.

MAN: “Not who your we’re expecting? Let me tell you who I am. I am Hurricane Jeff’s Lawyer and represent Hurricane Jeff. Hurricane Jeff couldn’t be here this evening. He’s enjoying time with his friends and family after being kidnapped by EWC for over a month. Your lucky he doesn’t sue the EWC over this. Plus, Hurricane Jeff doesn’t want to help increase rating for Rampage and EWC.”

The fans boo and a Hurricane Jeff sucks chant begins

]LAWYER: “The only thing that sucks here is you people. But now back to business. Hurricane Jeff asked me to come here tonight because of the invitation that Gladiator sent him early this week. The invitation of an SWA Tribute match between Michael Saint, Kid Cactus and Hurricane Jeff.”

The fans cheer for the match

LAWYER: “I’m here tonight to tell the world Jeff’s answer to it. There was a lot of thought into this decisions. But after a long discussion between Jeff and myself, we have both agreed that Hurricane Jeff WILL take part in this SWA tribute match.”

The fans cheer now knowing that an SWA dream match is official.

LAWYER: “Jeff didn’t agree to do this because of EWC, or because of the fans. And its not for Kid Cactus or to finally be able to get in the ring with Michael Saint. Jeff agreed to do this for SWA, a company that treated him well, and for Gladiator, as a favor. Gladiator took part in APW’s Survive and Conquer match, and as a thank you to Gladiator, Hurricane Jeff will do this favor for him. Plus, the money is good. So there you have it. And one final thing. Jeff has a special Message he wanted me to tell Kid Cactus and Michael Saint.”

The lawyer clears his throat.

LAWYER: “Thru Howling Winds…And Pouring Rain….You both will fear….The Hurricane!”

The lawyer drops the mic and leaves the ring. The fans boo and both Michael Saint, and Kid Cactus shake their heads with disgust. Gladiator picks up the mic.

GLADIATOR: “Yes... well there you have it folks. February 26th, Michael Saint vs. Kid Cactus vs. Hurricane Jeff. Tune in next week where inside this ring we WILL have ALL 3 COMPETITORS PRESENT for the official contract signing. Until then, goodnight and Good luck.”

The Theme From Patton plays as Gladiator again shakes hands with both men. They exit the ring to the cheers of the fans.

ARQUETTE: “WOW! What an announcement! What a dream match! And we get to be a part of it. I Can't wait!”

CAAN: To finally see Hurricane Jeff, Kid Cactus and Michael Saint in the ring again, that's almost worth sticking it out sitting on milk crates for the next 3 weeks. I'm counting down the days already.

ARQUETTE: Believe it or not, we still have one more match to get to tonight.

CAAN: Of course I believe it. It's right there on the teleprompter in front of us.

ARQUETTE: It sure is. And this ridiculous “Sedition Death Match” should've been called Rev and Gladiator's immature scheme to get revenge on Mike Thunder and James Shark for eliminating them in the Rumble in the Bronx.

CAAN: That' a terrible name for a match.

ARQUETTE: So what. Call it what it is. They're just trying to punish these guys cause they were out for their own best interests in the Rumble.

CAAN: Whether it's an immature revenge scheme or not, I don't care. We're about to get some serious Sedition style violence here. This is what these guys have always built their promotions on. I just want to get to the match so we can see what stipulation Rev and Gladiator have selected for them.

ARQUETTE: So be it. Here's our main event.

°º²l]FNR[l²º°''˜¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨˜''°º²l]§§[l²º°''˜¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨˜''°º²l]2010[l²º°


SEDITION DEATH MATCH
Mike Thunder -vs- James Shark “Nigguh”

[/b]

[/center]

The lights go out. It is dark in the arena. Loud sound effects of thundering claps are heard. Few lights flicker as if they're lightning. Out comes Mike Thunder in his black tights with the name THUNDER on his buttocks, with black boots and kneepads. His dark brown hair is dripping wet, pulled back. A white towel in his hand as he wipes off the dripping water off his face. He marches slowly to the ring, with the spotlight following every step of his to the ring. He tosses the towel to the crowd as he nears ringside. He walks up the steel steps and climbs the turnbuckle to examine the crowd. He enters the ring from the turnbuckle and runs the ropes before getting amped up, yelling at the crowd.

Ok Your Right by 50 Cent begins to play and the lights begin to turn light blue, James Shark begins to walk down the ramp with a cocky smile on his face, some fans try to reach out and grab him but instead he slaps their hands away luaghing. He runs up the stairs and enters the ring, he then climbs the turnbuckle and begins to tuant the fans. He jumps off the turnbuckle and begins to lean on the ropes and yawn.

ARQUETTE: Now what?

CAAN:Here comes Rev.

Boos cry out from the fans in attendance. Rev appears at the top of the ramp.

REV: So here's the deal. After you two eliminated us from the Rumble last weekend, we were thinking hard about what kind of punishment you deserved. As we said earlier, a good old fashioned Death Match sounded good, but the question still remained, what stipulation? The Sedition have created many dangerous Death Matches over the years. We thought we had a great one tonight. We first decided on a Machete Above the Ring match, where the objective was to use a ladder to climb up and retrieve a machete hung above the ring. That machete would then be used on your opponent to claim an easy win.

But then something went wrong.

DUM, DUM, DUM

We, and by we, I mean I accidentally swung the machete in the wrong direction while trying to tie it to the rafters. I severed a high voltage electrical cable. That leaves up but one choice. The stipulation we will go with for this match will be none other than.


DUM, DUM, DUM!


Exposed High Voltage Electrical Wire Hanging Above the Ring Match

The ladder is in place, the cable is........... sparking uncontrollably about 15 feet above your heads as we speak. Let the Death Match begin.

DING!

Mike Thunder is pacing back and forth shouting things to Rev. He's shaking his head back and forth as if to say he won't go along with the stipulation, As he fumes in the ring, James Shark has no reservations about diving out of the ring and sprinting down the aisle towards the ladder that's standing up near the entrance ramp. Shark folds the ladder up and starts walking it back to the ring. Mike Thunder has spotted this and he too dives out of the ring. He races toward Shark and grabs hold of one end of the ladder. Shark tugs back. Thunder and Shark fight over the ladder next to the barricade. Finally Thunder lets go and Shark tugs a little too hard, sending the top of the ladder over the barricade where it hits one of the poor African fans in the face. The fan falls out of his chair and hits the ground unconscious.

ARQUETTE: James Shark just knocked out that African!

CAAN: I think it was an accident. He was just trying to get it away from Mike Thunder.

James Shark shrugs off the unconcious fan and tries jabbing Thunder with the other end of the ladder. Thunder side steps out of the way and Shark accidentally hits a fan on the other side of the aisle in the face with the ladder.

ARQUETTE: Two in a row. You still buying into that whole “accident” theory?

Shark drops the ladder and grabs Thunder by the arm. He brings him down with an Armdrag Takedown. Thunder's body lands right on the folded ladder. Shark then picks Thunder up and whips him against the barricade. This sends Thunder flipping over the barricade to the crowd in the aisle seats. Thunder stumbles over a few fans seats as he tries to get back up. On the other side of the barricade Shark has stood the ladder up in the aisle and he climbs half way up the side. Shark does a forward flip off the side of the ladder and lands on Thunder on the other side of the barricade. A half dozen fans get crushed in the process.

CAAN: They do know the objective of the match is to incapacitate your opponent, right?

ARQUETTE: I assume so.

CAAN: Okay. Because the fact that Thunder and Shark have knocked out most of rows 8-11 lead me to believe there might be some confusion on the rules.

Shaark is up and he's folding up one fans chairs. He waits for Thunder to stand up and he swings the chair. Thunder ducks and Shark knocks out yet another fan with a chair shot to the skull. Thunder dives over a few fans fallen bodies and Spears Shark in the gut. Shark is sent backwards right into the barricade. Thunder then picks Shark up and dumps him over the barricade, back to the aisle. Thunder climbs over the barricade just as Shark is getting back on his feet. He levels him with a diving forearm. Thunder positions Shark's body in the center of the aisle. He then repositions the ladder directly behind Shark's body. Thunder climbs almost all the way to the top and starts forcing his weight back, then forward.

ARQUETTE: Why's he rocking the ladder back and forth.

The ladder's legs teeter and wobble as Thunder rocks the ladder back, then forward one more time before the ladder comes crashing forward. Thunder rides the ladder all the way down as it crashes on top of Shark's body.

CAAN: That's why.

Thunder gets back up and starts dragging the ladder down the aisle behind him, leaving Shark lying motionless in the aisle. Thunder reaches the ring and slides the ladder under the bottom rope. He sets the ladder up and centers it under the wildly out of control exposed electrical cable swinging above the ring. Thunder looks up, then looks at Shark lying outside the ring, then starts making his way back down the aisle.

ARQUETTE: This one isn't your typical Ladder Match. Who knows how far that cable will reach. You need your opponent nearby if you want to use that electrical charge as a weapon.

CAAN: You think the outside of the cable is insulated at least.

ARQUETTE: I would hope so. If not that would be a pretty cruel trick on The Sedition's part.

Thunder picks up Shark's body. He stands him on his feet and whips him down the aisle. Shark crashes into the ring apron. Thunder comes over and picks him back up. He rolls Shark into the ring. Thunder climbs up on the outside and scales the corner post to stand on the top rope. He waits for Shark to come around and start standing up. Shark is on his feet with his back to the corner. Thunder jumps off the top rope and grabs Shark on the way down, delivering a Bulldog that causes Shark to bounce a few inches in the air as he hits. Thunder then starts to climb up the ladder one step at a time. He's one step from the top and he stops to observe the sparking electrical cable that's swinging all over the place. Thunder ducks on more than one occasion to avoid being hit by the exposed wire.

ARQUETTE: How does he expect to grab that thing?

CAAN: Very carefully.

Thunder's eye dart from side to side, studying the swinging cable and waiting for the right chance to grab it. Suddenly he makes his move. Thunder actually successfully grabs the wire with one hand on each side of the insulated outside. In between his arms the blue electrical sparks still light up. Thunder very cautiously starts pulling the cable lower as he descends the ladder. Just then James Shark springs to his feet and kicks the ladder out from under Thunder. The ladder falls against the ropes and Thunder instinctively lets go of the exposed electrical wire. He falls 10 feet down to the mat below. James Shark falls on top of Thunder and hooks the leg for a pin.

The referee doesn't move.

CAAN: Rev specifically stated that only by shocking your opponent with the exposed electrical cable could you make the cover. It looks like Shark can't go for the pin yet.

James Shark stands up and shoves the ref who just shrugs his shoulders and steps back. Shark grabs the tipped ladder and rests it in the corner. He picks up Thunder and back him into the opposite corner. Shark then whip Thunder across the distance of the ring. Thunder hits the standing ladder face first. Thunder falls on his back and the ladder falls on top of him. Shark picks the ladder up and throws it down on the mat. He then picks up Thunder and sits him on the top rope. Shark climbs up to the top rope with him and hooks Thunder up. He flips him off the top rope and Snap Suplexes Thunder onto the folded ladder in the ring. Thunder rolls off the ladder and squirms on the ground in pain. The lines from the metal steps have caused red marks to form on Thunder's back. Above their heads, the electrical cable pops and hisses. Many fans cheer, others scream.

ARQUETTE: I really don't feel comfortable being this close to the match.

CAAN: I hope you're wearing rubber shoes.

Shark kicks Thunder's body out of the way and starts setting the ladder up. The top of the ladder is now higher than the position the cable is hanging from, and considering the metal frame of the ladder, James Shark wisely sets the ladder up a few feet away. Shark is extra careful climbing up the side of the ladder closest to the cable. He makes it half way up and stops to watch the cable swinging. Shark takes a deep breath and continues climbing up. He's a few feet from the top of the ladder and he very slowly starts reaching out with one hand to try and grab the exposed cable. He almost grabs it once, but a sudden jolt of electricity makes Shark pull his arm back just to be safe. He waits for the right moment, leans as far out as he can while still holding on to the ladder, and then finally snatches the insulated part of the cable with one hand. Shark starts trying to pull himself back towards the ladder steps. Thunder is up now and he literally rips the ladder away from Shark. Shark starts falling all the way to the mat. He keeps a firm grip on the cable and pulls it all the way down to the ring with him. Once Shark's body hits the mat, he lets go of the cable and it starts to shock and spark all over. The cable jerks wild all over the ring.

ARQUETTE: That's it, I'm out of here!

David Arquette rips off his headset and runs for his life down the aisle. As the cable swings across the mat and under ropes on all side, Thunder and Shark are jumping and diving all over the place trying to avoid it. As it jerks under ropes every stagehand, camera man, announcers, etc all run for their dear lives as well. Many of the fans in the front rows starts backing up, tripping over those in the third of fourth rows as they try to stay clear just to be safe.

Inside the ring, James Shark is on his feet as the cable flies toward him at chest level. Shark bends down almost in a limbo position and the cable barely clears him an inch above his chest. The cable comes back from behind him and Shark runs forward, Thunder picks up the ladder and swings it like a baseball bat, hitting Shark in the side and sending him flying. The cable is all over the place and Shark is rolling around on the mat like mad trying to avoid it. Shark is on his back with the cable sitting still briefly. Thunder dives through the air to try and grab it. Shark reaches as far as he can and grabs it right off the mat. The cable sparks fly as Shark gets on his knees and jams the exposed cable right into Thunder's chest just as he comes close. The powerful shock sends Thunder flying all the way across the ring before he crashes hard on the mat. A black burn mark appears right in the center of Thunder's chest. Shark tosses the exposed cable aside and it gets tied up in the ropes. Shark makes the cover and hooks both legs.

1...





2...





3.

Winner: James Shark


CAAN: Does it get any sicker than that? That shock must have sent Thunder flying at least 10 feet! If only David Arquette wasn't so much of a coward he could have seen that in person. I have no words to describe how disturbing..... and yet, strangely entertaining that just was!

*James Shark stands in the center of the ring confidently celebrating. He steps through the ropes and walks back down the aisle strutting to his music. Inside the ring, Mike Thunder has a half dozen paramedics hovering over him.*

CAAN: This doesn't look good.

*Paramedics are listening to his chest and and frantically pumping his chest. One paramedic bring a defibrillator into the ring and charges it up next to him. The crowd is silent as they use the defibrillator on Thunder. The show begins to fade out to the sounds of paramedics yelling “Clear!” As the screen fades to black, one paramedic can be heard quietly proclaiming “It's faint.....”*

_________________________________________

RECAP
Bryce Bridges defeats Fletch Baxter (match written by Captain Insanity)
Captain Insanity defeats Ty Luca (match written by Gladiator)
French Montana defeats Victor Hades (match written by Gladiator)
James Shark defeats Mike Thunder (match written by The Rev)