FNR - Rabat, Morocco - 2/13/10

[Sedition: The Rev]

Ace Heart is standing backstage.

HEART: Ladies and Gentlemen, it appears that Moses Lake's motorcade is closing in!

Behind Ace Heart, three jet black Escalades with tinted windows come to a screeching halt followed by a stark white stretch limousine, which is followed by two more Escalades. Over two dozen giant black men, wearing suits, dark sunglasses, and earpieces come pouring out of the Escalades and flank the limo. They all put their hands to the earpieces, nod in unison, the limousine door opens. 7 very beautiful, very Asian women in skimpy clothes step out of the limo, and the door closes behind them. Half of the giant black men go with the women while the rest stay with the limo.

Ace Heart is very confused.

HEART: Wait, where's Moses?

THE GIANTEST BLACK MAN: Mr. Lake hasn't arrived yet.

HEART: What is this then? And when is he coming?

THE GIANTEST BLACK MAN: This is Mr. Lake's team of Asian masseuses and his security personnel. We've come early to get things ready for Mr. Lake. Mr. Lake will be arriving shortly via helicopter.

HEART: Helicopter? This is getting ridiculous.

________________________________________


LIVE from Rabat, Morocco, Africa

*We go back to the arena where David Arquette and Scott Caan are both shaking their heads in disbelief.*

ARQUETTE: Now he has a helicopter entrance.

CAAN: It's a shame. I only got limo, and I think the driver was drunk.

ARQUETTE: You got a limo? Rev and Gladiator made me hitchhike from Casablanca last week!

CAAN: It's good to be Moses Lake these days. Even better to not be David Arquette.

ARQUETTE: Shut up, Scott. Well now that our show intro has been ruined, time for an introduction. Tonight is the Lethal Lottery Mini Tournament. We go backstage where Friday Night Rampage's Gms, Rev and Gladiator, are standing by to announce our first match.

*Backstage we find Rev and Gladiator standing next to one of those really fancy electronic lottery ball machines. Ace Heart is on their right with a armed guard on their left with his hands on the lottery machine. Suddenly the guard starts wheeling the fancy lottery machine out of the shot.*

HEART: Wait, where's he taking that thing? I thought you were going to draw the first match for the Lethal Lottery.

GLADIATOR: Oh we are. That machine has just been reposessed.

REV: But we have a backup plan! This handy dandy pillowcase!

*Rev pulls out a pillowcase. He gives it a few shakes.*

REV: Inside are the names of every active Rampage superstar. We will draw two names. Those two names will immediately compete in the first of two matches tonight.

GLADIATOR: Would you care to do the honors, Ace?

*Ace Heart rolls his eyes and reaches into the pillowcase. He pulls out a piece of paper and reads the name. A split screen is shown with a shot of the locker room, filled with every Rampage star all waiting for their name to be called.*

HEART: The first name is............ Captain Insanity!

*Captain Insanity looks pleased as he stands up and maes his way out of the locker room. Ace Heart reaches back into the pillowcase and pulls out the next name.*

HEART: His opponent will be.............. Fletch Baxter!

GLADIATOR: Oh boy!

REV: Hooray!

GLADIATOR: Outstanding!

REV: And boys, just to make things more interesting, why don't we make this a good old fashioned Falls Count Anywhere Match. This match is underway....................... Nnnnow!

°º²l]FNR[l²º°''˜¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨˜''°º²l]§§[l²º°''˜¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨˜''°º²l]2010[l²º°


REGULAR MATCH
Captain Insanity -vs- Fletch Baxter

Fletch Baxter is walking out of the locker room backstage celebrating his name being chosen. He begins making his way down the hallway. Suddenly someone throws open a door and Fletch is knocked down by the force of the door. Out steps his opponent, Captain Insanity! CI picks Fletch up off the floor and pushes him through another door. CI follows him and then the cameraman follows as well. They're now in a large open room which is the loading dock of the arena. CI grabs Fletch and puts him in a Headlock. CI runs into the wall and slams Fletch's big head against it so hard that Fletch's head breaks through the drywall. CI gives Fletch a Front Leg Sweep. He really has to use some force to move Fletch, but he does take him down to the ground. CI walks away briefly and grabs a metal toolbox that's sitting on a workbench. He carries it and holds it over Fletch's head. CI drops the toolbox and Fletch rolls out of the way. The toolbox breaks open as it hits the floor. The loud clanking sound of the metal box hitting the floor and the repetitive ringing of the tools scattering causes both men to cover their ears from the noise.

ARQUETTE: Ahhh!

CAAN: We'll be hearing that ringing noise for the rest of the night.

ARQUETTE: What's that?

CI tries stomping on Fletch, but Fletch grabs his foot and twists it. Fletch then gives CI a Dragon Screw Leg Whip. CI falls to the cement floor and Fletch stands up.

ARQUETTE: Fletch Baxter has been studying some new moves.

CAAN: You can't rely on the old sit on your opponent's face tactic forever.

Fletch picks CI up and tucks his head under his arm. Fletch delivers an Even Flow DDT to CI, who's head hits the metal toolbox and the scattered tools on the ground. Scaramanga covers CI and a ref runs over to count.

1...




2...




Captain Insanity kicks out. Fletch picks CI up and gives him a T-Bone Suplex, tossing him into a giant pile of stacked crates. The crates scatter and Fletch picks CI up again. Now Fletch grabs CI by one arm and whips him across the floor. CI runs right into a small trailer. As he hits it, CI turns around and is hit again by Fletch running with a Cross Body Block. Fletch covers CI

1...




2...




Another kickout. Fletch gets up and takes both of CI's legs. He drops down and hits CI with an Elbow Drop to the groin. Fletch then climbs onto CI's body and nails him with 10 punches to the face in a row. The crowd who are watching from inside the arena on the Titantron are counting along with each punch. Fletch then gets up and starts climbing up the side of the trailer. He pulls himself onto the trailer roof and stands up. But before he can jump, CI gets up on his feet. Fletch and CI both pause as a loud noise is heard out in the parking lot and a wind kicks up. Both CI and Fletch look out into the parking lot as a helicopter slowly lands.

ARQUETTE: That must be Moses Lake. Talk about an entrance.

CAAN: Yeah. He just landed in the middle of Captain Insanity vs Fletch Baxter..

Fletch ignores the helicopter now and leaps off the trailer roof, but CI dives out of the way while Fletch is in mid-air. Fletch hits the floor hard. CI drops to his knees and takes a few seconds to catch his breath. He then picks Fletch up and pulls him across the floor to the edge of the loading dock. CI bends Fletch over and steps back a few feet. He runs at Fletch from behind and drives him down to the floor with a Facebuster. CI grabs Fletch by his shirt and drags him across the floor. He brings him to the loading ramp and then walks away. CI returns with a thick chain in his hands. CI sits on Fletch's back and wraps the chain around his neck. He pulls back as hard as he can starts choking the life out of Fletch. The ref gets down near Fletch's face and asks him if he submits. Fletch shakes his head and his face starts turning blue.

ARQUETTE: He may not want to give up, but if he passes out due to lack of oxygen this thing is as good as done.

Fletch tries prying the chain off his neck, but CI just pulls on it harder. Soon Fletch's eyes start to close and it looks like he's passing out. Finally he stops moving and breathing. Thinking that he's won the match by default, Captain Insanity lets go of the chain and stands up, raising his arms in victory. The ref is just about to raise CI's hand when Fletch suddenly comes back to life and hits CI with a low blow.
Fletch is on his feet and taking is time to catch his breath. CI rolls around in pain for a while but then pulls himself up. CI tries for a right hand, but Fletch blocks it. Fletch now goes for a kick to the gut, but CI grabs his leg. Fletch bounces on his free foot, and then jumps in the air and nails CI with an Enzuguri. Fletch stands up, but CI is just as quick to get on his feet. Fletch is just about to attack when he notices that CI has that steel chain in his hand. CI sadistically waves the chain around and slowly approaches Fletch, who is slowly trying to back away.

ARQUETTE: This kind of match always brings out the most brutal side of Captain Insanity.

CAAN: Fletch had better think of something quick.

CI keeps approaching Fletch, and soon he has him trapped against the wall. CI raises the chain over his head with both hands and gets ready to strike. Frantically searching around him, Fletch grabs a tire from the top of a pile of tires. He struggles to pick the tire up, but finally hurls it right at CI. The tire flies in the air and CI catches it, but the tire is too heavy and he falls to the ground. The tire falls on top of CI and he's trapped under it. Fletch regains his composure and grabs CI by the legs. He drags CI across the floor and leaves him lying right behind the back of a semi-truck. CI is still pinned under the heavy tire and he can't move. Fletch takes the opportunity to climb up to the top of the semi-truck. He gets on the roof and looks down at CI. Fletch jumps off the top of the semi-truck and hits CI with an Frog Splash. CI is still pinned under the tire when Fletch lands on him. Fletch covers him. The ref counts,

1....




2......




The count is stopped when CI's shoulder gets up. Fletch is about to get up but CI has reached for something on the floor. It's that steel chain he was using. CI quickly wraps the chain around his hand and delivers a big right hook to Fletch's head. Fletch flops on his side and CI uses all of his strength to throw the tire off of him. He then tosses the chain aside and waits for Fletch to stand up. Fletch is positioned on the edge of the loading dock. CI charges forward and flies through the air head first with a Spear. He hits Fletch right in the midsection and he flies backwards. Fletch and CI both land on the back of the semi-truck. As they struggle to pin each other rolling around on the back of the truck, the ignition starts. Just as the referee tries to jump to the back of the truck it starts to pull away.

ARQUETTE: What's going on? That truck's driving away with Captain Insanity and Fletch Baxter on the back!

CAAN: I don't think the driver is aware of that.

The truck starts to accelerate and pull out through the parking lot. The camera man and referee are stuck up on the loading dock. Before they have a chance to climb down, the truck has reached the edge of the parking lot and turned out onto the street. As the camera zooms in, Captain Insanity and Fletch Baxter can be seen still fighting despite being on the back of a moving vehicle. As the truck pulls away it soon becomes too far for the camera to follow it. It cuts back inside to Scott Caan who look dumbfounded, and David Arquette who just looks dumb.

CAAN: So is this match still going?

ARQUETTE: In traditional Rampage style, I would guess it is.

CAAN: No ref, no camera to follow. How are we to know what happens?

ARQUETTE: We can only hope they're found before the end of the night. Ladies and gentlemen, if anyone watching in the Rabat region see a semi-truck carrying a load of...... Fletch Baxter and Captain Insanity in the back............. uh.........

CAAN: Give the hotline a call?

ARQUETTE: Sure.

____________________________

*Backstage, Rev and Gladiator are getting ready to walk down the aisle. They're being given a few instructions from their loyal Backstage Liaison, the ever pale and nerdy looking Skippy Mohophosite. Bryce Bridges appears and taps both Rev and Gladiator on the shoulders. They turn around to face him.*

BRYCE: I heard a nasty little rumor.

REV: It's true. Cam does cut the mustard every time.

BRYCE: I have no idea what that's supposed to mean. I'm talking about something else. Rumor has it that in that pillowcase of yours you have the names of every Rampage roster member EXCEPT for me, Bryce Bridges.

GLADIATOR: Ha! I never listen to rumors. I guarantee you everyone's names are in there.

BRYCE: Funny thing is you left it backstage and I looked. I'm not in there.

GLADIATOR: What? That's ridiculous. It must have been an oversight.

BRYCE: Some oversight. You even put Skippy's name in it.

*Skippy's eyes light up. He turns around and grins arrogantly.*

SKIPPY: Sorry that was me. I didn't want to be left out..

GLADIATOR: Skippy, I'm shocked. That's low even for you.

SKIPPY: I didn't exactly take his name out. I just crossed Bryce Bridges out and wrote my name over it.

BRYCE: You crossed my name out to put yours in? I'm not even being given a chance to have my name drawn. How many times do you think you can slap me in the face before I snap?

REV: I'm tired of this already. You want your name in the running? You can take the spot from Skippy. Fight him for it. Match......... BEGIN!

SKIPPY: What? But Rev, I'm not.......

GLADIATOR: Hahaha! I like this idea.

BRYCE: This is a joke.

SKIPPY: I don't want to fight. That's not part of my job description.

REV: I said Match BEGIN!

*Bryce doesn't hesitate for another second. He grabs Skippy around the neck but Skippy's eye bug out of his head and he bolts. Bryce chases Skippy down the corridors backstage. Skippy peaks over his shoulder and finds Bryce just inches behind him. Skippy screams like a girl and quickens his pace. He bursts out the arena door and Bryce continues to chase him though the parking lot. Skippy jumps into his wimpy little Geo and locks the doors. Bryce is right outside the drivers door banging on the window. Skippy fumbles with his keys and starts the engine, his girlish screams muffled on the inside of the car. Bryce pounds the window and it cracks. Skippy hits the gas and the Geo peels out of the parking lot. Bryce tries chasing it but the car is gone too quick. Bryce shouts in frustration and storms off camera.

____________________________

We come back to ringside, where The Rev, Gladiator, and Emmanuelle Chriqui are standing in the middle of the ring.

ARQUETTE: You know, Scott, rumour has it that Moses Lake has prepared the most expensive ring entrance ever to re-introduce himself to Rampage.

CAAN: Why are you excited about that? The referees are working pro bono and the craft services table has been replaced with a case of Raman noodles!

ARQUETTE: Yeah, but we get Moses Lake!

CAAN: We don't even have a microwave to cook the Raman, David!

EMMANUELLE: Ladies and Gentlemen, on behalf of Gladiator and the Rev, it is my pleasure to introduce to you... two-time EwC Champion, former Television and Hardcore Champion, the longest reigning International Champion, two-time King of the Cage, and Class of 2009 Hall of Famer... he is Rampage's Greatest Superstar... MOSES LAKE!

The light's in the arena completely go out. This time, however, it's not due to power failure. The sound of coins clinking and a cash register ringing begin to play softly. Then, a very distinctive bassline begins to boom over the loudspeakers.

CAAN: Is this "Money" by Pink Floyd?

Then, almost as if on cue, a spotlight shines on the entry way stage and standing there, playing the bassline to Pink Floyd's "Money" is none other than the man who wrote it, Roger Waters. Then, the spotlight grows to include David Gilmour and Nick Mason as they begin to play their parts.

CAAN: Jesus Christ, he reunited Pink fucking Floyd! This must have cost a fortune.

ARQUETTE: They actually agreed to perform just for their airfare and lodging... and Rampage pledged $1.2 million to Haitian earthquake relief.

CAAN: This doesn't even make sense, though. Moses' theme song is "Calm Like a Bomb".

ARQUETTE: Not anymore. Now it's "Money".

CAAN: This is ridiculous. It's going to cost Rampage tens of thousands of dollars every time Moses uses that song. Licensing is really expensive. And this doesn't really work as an entrance song.

ARQUETTE: Yeah, but it's expensive.

Pink Floyd continues to jam, as Moses Lake's huge security squad begin to make their way out as the house lights begin to come up slowly. Then, a giant, golden spotlight shines on the entry way. The crowd is booing with disgust at this vulgar display of wealth, while the Rev and Gladiator are nodding with approval in the ring.

Things become more ridiculous as an elephant's head peaks out into the entry way. Led by a team of handlers, a massive African Elephant steps out onto the entry way, with none other than Moses Lake riding on top. Moses waves to the furious crowd, and gives a big thumbs up to Pink Floyd.

CAAN: Do they even have elephants in Morocco?

ARQUETTE: No, this one was flown in.

CAAN: From where, the Sahara?

ARQUETTE: The San Diego Zoo.

Moses continues to ride the elephant down the ramp. He continues to wave and blow kisses to the crowd. When Moses gets close to the ring, the elephant comes to a stop. All of a sudden, a crew of a dozen or so men begin scurrying around the ring. The boos in the crowd turn to confused chatter, but then everyone realizes what is going on: within seconds, the crew has inflated a giant ramp that goes from where Moses is sitting on the elephant to the ring apron. A member of the crew then jumps up to the apron and uses a pair of bolt cutters to cut the ring ropes in half, clearing the way for Moses. Moses then jumps off the elephant, slides down the ring, lands in the ring.

CAAN: They just cut the ropes for that? What the hell! Those are expensive! We still have matches tonight.

ARQUETTE: Rev and Gladiator can work with this. I'm sure there's some sort of "Sedition-Rules-We've-Replaced-One-Side-of-the-Ring-Ropes-with-Barbed-Wire-and-Frayed-Extension-Cords-Match" that they've already cooked up.

CAAN: David, what the hell is wrong with you? You're acting like this is a good idea.

The ramp is deflated as quickly as it was inflated and the elephant is led back up the ramp. Moses' personal security squad flanks the ring, keeping an eye out for potential security risks as Moses takes his time posing in the ring. Moses then pauses for a moment, raises his hands, and then as he lowers them, fireworks begin exploding from everywhere: the ring posts, up and down the entrance ramp, the rafters, and even out of Pink Floyd's instruments. The pyro show lasts a solid 30 seconds before it finally comes to an end. Pink Floyd finishes playing as the arena lights come back up.

The crowd continues to boo, but The Rev and Gladiator are clapping their hands and miming bowing motions toward Moses. Moses takes Emmanuelle's microphone as she leaves the ring.

MOSES: Well, I must say, this is quite the reception you've planned for me, boys.

REV: No, problem, Moses. No problem at all. How's the dressing room?

MOSES: Small.

GLADIATOR: We rented out an entire motel for you.

MOSES: Better make it a hotel next time.

REV: Yes, that's not a problem. But, let's talk a little business here, Moses. Gladiator and I were a little surprised you didn't sign up for Lethal Lottery.

MOSES: Yeah, to be honest with you, Rev, I wasn't feeling it.

GLADIATOR: That's alright. We've come up with a few plans for you, a big match for next week to reintroduce you to Rampage. How would you like to-

MOSES: Whoa, slow down there, amigo. Who said I was wrestling next week?

REV: We could really use you, Lake.

MOSES: Come on, Rev. Are you aware of where I'm at in my career? I've won 39 singles matches here in EwC. My next match will be my 40th win. The 40-win club, guys. That's elusive. It's only been done a handful of times. So, we need to make sure my next match is a big deal. We can't just throw it away on some petty episode of Rampage. Hell, I say we start planning now and we can make a really big splash at StrangleMania!

Rev and Gladiator both are taken aback.

GLADIATOR: StrangleMania? Moses, we really could use you wrestling on Rampage before then. We've got our big SWA Tribute supershow and we were hoping you'd fight.

MOSES: Supershow, eh? Well, let me think about that.

Moses snaps his fingers. Then, almost like clockwork, one Moses' security guards sets up a chair in the ring and two of his Asian masseuses come out. One begins to massage his shoulders while the other takes off his shoes and gives him an intense foot rub.

ARQUETTE: Man, I wish I had that kind of help when I had to think about stuff.

CAAN: You condone this? What the hell is wrong with you? Wait a minute, the chair, the clothes... Moses paid you off, didn't he.

ARQUETTE: I don't know what you're talking about.

CAAN: Moses Lake has been paying you off to talk him up! You get these extra perks, and you give him good word of mouth so he doesn't look like such a douche!

ARQUETTE: Fine, you caught me.

CAAN: Why'd you do it, David?

ARQUETTE: Times are rough, man. "Cougar Town" is barely making enough money to pay for Courtney's botox, and unless TBS shows "Scream" sometime in the next three weeks, we can't afford our next mortgage payment.

CAAN: Wait, isn't "Friends" on like 30 times a day? Doesn't the wife get residuals from that?

ARQUETTE: I don't think you understand how much botox it takes to hold that woman together.

CAAN: Hey, why didn't Moses come to me? I can be boughten out pretty easily.

ARQUETTE: Yeah, like Jimmy Caan's kid needs a bail out.

CAAN: Do you realize I'm worse off than all of Ocean's Eleven? Even the Chinese guy makes more money than me, and he's a fucking acrobat. Hell, Bernie Mac is better off, God rest his soul.

ARQUETTE: Ha, maybe Brad Pitt will adopt you. You know, we used to be friends... Used to hang out on the backstage while Jen and Courtney filmed... Back when things were good...

CAAN: I hate my life.

ARQUETTE: I hate mine more.

Back in the ring, Rev and Gladiator are still patiently awaiting Moses' response. Moses finally waves off his masseuses. They put his shoes back on, then take the chair with them as they leave the ring.

MOSES: Man, those girls are great.

REV: I chose the Filipino.

GLADIATOR: Hey, I chose the Korean.

MOSES: They're all great. Anyways, I've made my decision. I will compete on your little SWA tribute whatever.

REV: Great! Maybe we can put you in a Sedition Rules-

MOSES: Whoa, slow down, cowboy. None of this Sedition Rules, extreme stuff. Come on, don't want to risk getting hurt before the big dance, am I right?

GLADIATOR: Well, I guess we could give you a... traditional match...

MOSES: Yeah, I'll let you guys know next week who I want to face. I'll be back, and I'll be watching the roster... closely.

Moses snaps his fingers again, and Pink Floyd begins to play "Money". Moses walks to the edge of the ring where they cut the ropes earlier and a few of his security guards help him jump down to the floor. They flank him, creating a human wall around him three men deep. Moses disappears backstage as Pink Floyd continue to jam, and leave The Rev and Gladiator in the ring, trying to figure out how they are going to fix the ring ropes before the next match.

ARQUETTE: Money. A word now synonymous with good old Moses Lake.

CAAN: Stop playing jealous. Even if he never signed that contract you'd still be making beans here.

ARQUETTE: I guess that's true. I can see in the ring that Rev and Gladiator have whipped out the duct tape. The ropes are almost repaired for the next match. The names have already been drawn I believe. Now it's just wait and see who the final two superstars backstage are that have been selected to compete in this Lethal Lottery. Let's go down to the ring.


CHIRQUI: It is now time for our 2nd Lethal Lottery Contest,
Introducing first,
Hailing from Johannesburg, South Africa
Standing at 6 feet and 1 Inch,
And weighing in at 229 lbs,
LARSEN VAN DER KAMP!!!

“What I've Done” by Linkin Park plays and Larsen Van Der Kamp makes his way towards the ring. He walks to the ring at slow pace, but remains completely focused on the ring. He ignores the fans, and steps into the ring. He sits up on the top turnbuckle and waits for his opponent.

CHIRQUI: And his opponent,
Hailing from Newark, New Jersey,
Standing at 6 feet and 3 inches,
And weighing in at 230 lbs,
FRENCH MONTANA!!!

The unmistakable screeching sound of electric guitars from "D'you Know What I Mean" by Oasis hits the speakers as the lights dim to dark... The fans rise to their feet in a HUGE mixed reaction. The snare pops from the music and the lights turn to a gray and black mixture as the television camera goes to complete black and white. As the music continues, out steps the man know as French Montana. Several fireworks and exploding devices continuously set off for a 10 second period. The loud noise causes some of the fans to cover and plug their ears. The music continues as Montana casually walks down the ramp with a swagger of an invincible man. His look is careless as he rarely acknowledges a fan except to stare an chuckle at their sneers. His true fans sing along with the music as Montana slowly and methodically works his way to the ring. Never seeming in a rush as he reaches the steps of the ring, he slowly looks to the sky, points and mumbles something to himself... Then in one leap hits the top turnbuckle to cause yet another 10 second round of fireworks and exploding devices to set off... Slyly he confidently poses his chiseled frame to a chorus of cheers and boos from the crowd as they know French Montana has entered the ring.

ARQUETTE: French Montana has been red hot here on FNR. He has not yet been defeated.

CAAN: Larsen Van Der Kamp on the other hand has never even had a match yet. Should be an interesting contest.

Montana swings his arm back and slaps Larsen across the face. Larsen steps back for a second and then lunges forward and nails Montana with a powerful blow to the head. The two exchange a few blows back and forth. Larsen goes to hit Montana, but Montana blocks it. Montana steps back and then levels Larsen with a Clothesline. Larsen gets up on his feet and Montana runs at him with another Clothesline, but Larsen ducks it and hooks Montana's arms to take him down with a Backslide pin attempt, before the ref can count, Montana kicks out. Larsen grabs Montana's arm and twists it, but Montana kicks off the ropes to do a flip and untwist his arm. He grabs Larsen's arm and flips him down to the mat. Larsen jumps up and Montana catches him with a Side Headlock. Larsen grabs Montana by the head and executes a Snapmare. Larsen goes to pick Montana up, butMontana catches him with a Snapmare. Montana mounts himself on top of Larsen and starts to nail him with punches to the head, but Larsen catches Montana's arms with his legs and pulls him into a pin,

1...

2...

Montana rolls back and grabs Larsen by the legs. He flips over on top of Larsenn and tries for a pin,

1...

2...

Larsen kicks out.

ARQUETTE: Back and forth action so far. Neither man able to get the upper hand.

CAAN: These two appear to be fairly evenly matched.

Montana runs at Larsen and catches him with a Flipping Neckbreaker. He runs to the ropes and springboards off the second rope and does a 180 turn in the air to hit Larsen with a Leg Drop. Montana goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Larsen kicks out. Montana picks Larsen up and attempts to whip him to the ropes, but Larsen reverses and whips Montana to the ropes. Montana bounces off the ropes and runs towards Larsen. Larsen throws him over the top rope and to the outside of the ring. Larsen runs towards the ropes. He Springboards off the top rope and jumps to the outside. In mid air he catches Montana with a Hurricanranna. The fans erupt as Larsen completes this move. Larsen picks Montana up and whips him into the ringpost. Montana stumbles backwards and Larsen grabs him from behind and executes a Full Nelson Slam. Larsen climbs up on the apron as Montana slowly rises to his feet. Larsen jumps up on the top rope and jumps backwards with a Asai Moonsault, but Montana catches him in mid air. Montana walks over to the barricade with Larsen on his shoulder. He drops Larsen headfirst onto the barricade. Montana picks Larsen up and drives his head to the concrete with an Elevated DDT.

ARQUETTE: Just once, I would like to see a FNR match where the guys stay in the ring.

CAAN: Yeah cause nothing says ratings like a traditional wrestling match.

Montana picks Larsen up and throws him in the ring. Montana grabs a chair and throws it into the ring. He rolls into the ring and picks up the chair. Larsen gets up to his feet and Montana swings the chair. Larsen ducks down and sweeps Montana's leg. He hits Montana hard on the back of the knee. Montana drops to the mat and clutches his leg. Larsen picks up the chair and places it on Montana's leg. He quickly jumps up on the top rope. He jumps of the top rope and stomps on the chair crushing Montana's leg. Larsen goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Montana kicks out. Larsen picks Montana up and whips him to the corner. Montana hits the corner hard. Larsen attempts a Supekick, but Montana catches Larsen's leg and executes a Dragon Screw Leg Whip. Montana climbs up on the top rope and leaps off with a Frog Splash. Larsen rolls out of the way and Montana hits the mat so hard that he bounces up and lands on his back. Montana rolls out of the ring to try to recouperate. Larsen climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He jumps off and hits Montana with a standing Shooting Star Press.

ARQUETTE: There's certainly no shortage of high risk moves tonight.

CAAN: These guys should be earning frequent flyer miles.

Larsen rolls off Montana and gets up on his feet. The rowdy fans pat Larsen on the back. He picks Montana up and sends him crashing against the barricade. Larsen runs at him, but Montana drops down and catches Larsen with a Drop Toe Hold. As Larsen goes down his head crashes into the barricade. Blood now trickles down Larsen's face. Montana struggles to his feet and picks Larsen up. He climbs up onto the broadcast table and pulls Larsen onto it. Montana attempts to Piledrive Larsen, but He can't get Larsen up. Larsen lifts Montana up onto his back. Larsen executes a Celtic Cross and the broadcast table is crushed into peices.

ARQUETTE: As per usual there goes our broadcast table.

CAAN: FNR would not be complete without a crushed broadcast table.

Larsen slowly rises to his feet. He picks Montana up and throws him into the ring. Larsen climbs up to the top rope and leaps off with a Elbow Drop. Montana gets his foot up just as Larsen comes down and catches him with a boot to the face. Montana gets on his feet and picks Larsen up. He whips Larsen to the corner and charges at him. Larsen uses the ropes and slings over Montana. Montana hits the corner and Larsen catches him with a Small Package for the pin attempt,

1...

2...

Montana kicks out. Larsen picks Montana up and places him on the top rope. Larsen climbs onto the apron and climbs up to the top rope. He gets up on Montana's shoulders to attempt a Victory Roll from the top rope, but Montana hooks Larsen's arms and pulls him back. Montana jumps off the top rope with Larsen on his back and executes a Vertibreaker. Montana goes for the cover

1...

2...

Larsen barely gets his shoulder up. Montana picsk up Larsen and whips him off the ropes. Montana bounces off the ropes and Larsen catches him with an Overhead Belly to Belly. Montana flies over the top rope and drops to the floor. Larsen climbs up on the top rope. He leaps off as Montana gets to his feet and hits Montana with a Cross Body Block, but Montana catches him. Montana delivers a Fallaway Slam down to the concrete. He picks Larsen up and drives his head to the concrete with a Cradle DDT. Montana reaches under the ring and pulls out a table. He sets the table up and lies Larsen down on top of it. Montana jumps on the apron and climbs up to the top turnbuckle. Montana leaps off with a Leg Drop, but Larsen rolls off the table in the nick of time. Montana crashes thorugh the table. Both men lie out on the concrete and “The Imperial March” starts to play. Rev and Gladiator appear on the stage.

ARQUETTE: What are they doing out here? Have they come to steal the spotlight again.

Rev has a mic he raises it and begins to speak.

REV: I am truly sorry for interrupting this match tonight, but it seems we have a small problem. You see, we are having a little trouble with the network. It seems as though tonight's show has driven us slightly over budget.

GLADIATOR: $9.16 over budget to be exact.

REV: So unfortunately, we don't have the time to finish out this match.

The fans boo at this announcement. They start a “Let Them Fight” chant.

GLADIATOR: Now, this leaves us in a bit of a bind. We have no choice, but to rule this match a No Contest. We don't even know where Fletch Baxter and Captain Insanity have disappeared to and therefore must rule their bout as a no contest as well.

REV: So, to solve this little problem we are making a match for next week, and we will see a winner get a guaranteed title shot at Stranglemania. The match will be a Fatal Four Way match between Fletch Baxter, Captain Insanity, Larsen Van Der Kamp, and French Montana.

The fans cheer in anticipation of next weeks main event. Larsen and Montana exchange a look of disgust.

GLADIATOR: For tonight however, we must sign off in order to avoid going further over budget. We shall therefore end transmission in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

The shot turns to static and Rampage goes off the air.

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RECAP
Captain Insanity vs Fletch Baxter DRAW (written by The Rev)
French Montana vs Larsen Van Der Kamp DRAW(written by Gladiator)