FNR - Johannesburg, South Africa - 2/20/10

[Sedition: The Rev]

*Friday Night Rampage General Managers, The Rev and Gladiator, are standing backstage holding handfuls of bills. They look like they're counting and quickly losing track.*

REV: Tell me again why the roster needs heating in the locker room?

GLADIATOR: Beats me. But if you cut it expect a fight like we got on the whole “Who needs their H1N1 vaccination” discussion.

REV: Maybe we can cut back on transportation costs.

GLADIATOR: Bad idea.

REV: Why?

GLADIATOR: Already tried that. Notice how Tropical Tornado hasn't been around for a while? That's cause I bubble wrapped him and shipped UPS. Lost in transit is what I was told.

REV: You didn't!

GLADIATOR: Gimme a break! He's Filipino! They're used to being crammed in tight boxes.

REV: That's not what I meant. UPS? We totally could've saved on Fed-Ex's frequent shipping plan.

*The sound of a throat clearing can be heard. The Rev and Gladiator look left as the camera pans to show Moses Lake surrounded by his entourage. Moses is wearing a referee's shirt.*

GLADIATOR: Uh, what's with the zebra skin, Moses?

MOSES: Oh, I did't tell you guys? I'm going to guest ref the Fatal Four-Way tonight.

REV: What about our head ref?

MOSES: Yeah, actually, I've been meaning to ask... why the hell is Sylvain Grenier the head ref?

*The Rev and Gladiator both shrug their shoulders. *

GLADIATOR: We read somewhere that French people worked for cheap.

REV: Yeah. Turned out it said French prostitutes work cheap. That one kind of backfired on us.

MOSES: Anyways, this match is going to decide who's next on the totem pole after me in order of sheer greatness, so I figured guest refereeing the match will give me a first hand look at the competition. Besides, it'll help me decide who to face next week at your SWA Tribute Show.

REV: Sounds good, Moses. Thanks for the head's up!

*Moses nods, and he and his entourage walk away. Gladiator is shaking his head.*

GLADIATOR: Can he do that?

REV: Probably. We did give him a lot of power. You know, though, if this keeps him busy, maybe he'll stop burning money.

GLADIATOR: Yeah, literally. I saw him using a 50 for a rolling paper earlier.

REV: Besides, it's not like he can mess things up too badly.

*There's a long, awkward silence.*

GLADIATOR: I'm sure it'll be fine.

________________________________________


LIVE from Johannesburg, South Africa

*The crowd is Johannesburg are on their feet. Many signs can be seen supporting all of Captain Insanity, Fletch Baxter and French Montana, but most signs represent (possible) hometown hero Larsen Van Der Kamp. Scott Caan and David Arquette are waiting at ringside covering their ears to block out the deafening noise.*

ARQUETTE: Can you hear me, Scott?

CAAN: What?.

ARQUETTE: Can you hear me?

CAAN: I can't hear a word you're saying!

ARQUETTE: What?

CAAN: Put on the freakin' headset you imbecile!

ARQUETTE: Huh?

*Scott Caan points to the headset on his ears. David Arquette looks confused but suddenly clues in.*

ARQUETTE: Oh yeah.

*Arquette places the headset on.*

CAAN: I hope this show goes bankrupt so I don't have to deal with you any more.

ARQUETTE: Oh you know you'd be lost without me. This is Rampage, and we are one week away from that historic SWA Tribute show match. We have received word that Michael Saint, Hurricane Jeff AND Kid Cactus will all be here tonight for the contract signing. We're talking about not only three of the greatest former SWA wrestlers, not only three of the greatest EWC wrestlers, but three of the greatest wrestlers of this generation, and all three will be in that ring next week. First time any of them have faced off.

CAAN: It's hard to not be excited about that. Almost as exciting is tonight's man event. After both semi final matches in this Lethal Lottery tournament ended in no contests last week, this lottery got even more unexpected when it was announced all 4 men would move on to the finals tonight in a Fatal Four Way.

ARQUETTE: And on the line is a guaranteed title shot.

CAAN: Now we get a last minute bombshell. The cause of Rampage's budgetary issues, Mr. $13,000,009.16 himself, Moses Lake, finally pulls himself away from the yachts and private jets and personal masseuses to mix himself up in competition. Unfortunately he's pulling his creative control clause out of the bag to have himself instated as special guest referee in that main event.

[color-orange]ARQUETTE: That will be interesting. You know French Montana has it out for Moses Lake.[/color]

CAAN: I'm more worried about whether or not a guy like Moses Lake knows how to play fair.

ARQUETTE: We'll find out before the end of the night. But first, we're receiving word that Michael Saint has arrived here at the arena. We go to Ace Heart outside the arena where he hopes to get a word from Michael Saint.

________________________

(We see a limo pull up. A man gets out of the drivers seat and opens one of the back doors to reveal Michael Saint. Ace Heart comes running up to Saint to ask him some questions.)

Ace: Michael Michael a moment please.

Saint: Wow Ace Heart you still have a job here? I am shocked

Ace: Uh thanks. The EWC is wondering why you have chose to come back to EWC for this match with Jeff and Kid Cactus.

Saint: Do I have to tell you all again? I am here to prove myself. I am a better man than either of those two could ever hope to be in the ring.

Ace: Are you worried?

Saint: No. Only people who should be worried are Jeff and KC since they can't beat me and you since you suck so much at your job that you should have been canned by now.

Ace: Thats real nice, but you have not answered my question.

Saint: I did answer it and that is all you are going to get out of me thank you very much.

Ace: Back to you guys in the booth.

________________________

ARQUETTE: Michael Saint returns to the show he kept alive for years, and he's confident about next week's match. Before we get to that, let' take a look at what's on the show tonight.

_________________________________________________

ON TONIGHT'S EPISODE


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UNDERCARD ONE
REGULAR MATCH

Ty Luca
-vs-
James Shark


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UNDERCARD TWO
GRUDGE MATCH

Bryce Bridges
-vs-
Skippy Mohophosite


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CONTRACT SIGNING
(For next week's Main Event)

Michael Saint & Hurricane Jeff & Kid Cactus


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FATAL FOUR WAY
(winner receives guaranteed Title shot

Captain Insanity

-vs-

Fletch Baxter

-vs-

French Montana

-vs-

Larsen Van Der Kamp



___________________________________________

CAAN: Things are going to get ugly before this night is over.

ARQUETTE: James Shark and Ty Luca are up first.


°º²l]FNR[l²º°''˜¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨˜''°º²l]§§[l²º°''˜¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨˜''°º²l]2010[l²º°

REGULAR MATCH

Ty Luca -vs- James Shark

The bell rings and the fans cheer as the show is about to open. The ring announcer stands in the center of the ring. The fans quiet down awaiting the first match.

”The following contest is scheduled for one fall...”

The fans cheer again. After their cheers die down there's a brief silence in the arena. Nobody is coming out. There seems to be a lot of confusion in the ring as the announcer awaits her cue to introduce the first man. Some production crew members are whispering near the entrance. Suddenly General Manager The Rev appears at the top of the ramp with a microphone in hand.

REV: Sorry to break this news to all you fans who paid to see Ty Luca and James Shark fight it out this week, but I'm afraid you wasted your money. Due to some mix ups in travel arrangements, Ty Luca and James Shark have both gone missing. You know how it is. But the good news is we have the tracking number, and I'm sure both are safe and sound. Thank you for understanding and enjoy the rest of the show!


Winner: Match cancelled


ARQUETTE: Since when do airlines give out tracking numbers?

CAAN: They don't.

ARQUETTE: Oh.

CAAN: Got that right.

ARQUETTE: We ask everyone at home to say a quick prayer for Ty Luca and James Shark, who may or may not be “lost in transit”. Good news is......... APW President Hurricane Jeff has arrived!

CAAN: At least someone made it here tonight.

ARQUETTE: Ace Heart is standing by.

________________________

The Camera’s show the outside parking lot where a long black limo pulls up to the building. The drive gets out of the limo and runs to the back of it and opens the door. 4 African girls with big boobs and in skimpy dresses get out of the limo, followed by Hurricane Jeff, who steps out wearing jeans and his new APW Rasslemania VI T-Shirt, which will be available everywhere T-Shirts are sold on Tuesday. Jeff gets between the 4 women, two on each side and begins walking towards towards inside the building, but is quickly stopped by Ace Heart.

Ace: Hurricane Jeff, Can I get a quick word with you?

Jeff: Long time no see Ace. How you like my African prostitutes. Pretty Sweet huh?

Ace: Sure. But about tonight. Tonight if the contract signing for the big SWA match between Yourself, Michael Saint and Kid Cactus. Your thoughts on what you expect tonight?

Jeff: Normally Ace, I wouldn’t show up here. But, I was told if I didn’t come to Rampage in person and signed the contract, that I wouldn’t get paid. And that’s why I’m here. I enjoy doing reunion type shows, but mainly, its because of the money. Tonight, I expect to go into the ring, sign the contract and hopefully walk out just as fast as I got in there. Because really, I don’t want to be in an EWC ring, or TV show longer than I have to.

Boo’s are heard from inside the arena

Ace: We are still waiting on the arival of Kid Cactus, but Michael Saint has already showed up and he had a few choice words for you.

Jeff: Let me guess. He talked about how he will finally get his hands on me and how he’ll beat me?

Ace: Basically.

Jeff: Listen, I’m told Saint Three years ago that I would only fight him if the money is right. And guess what, the money is right. Saint can plan on beating the crap out of me or whatever, but I got nothing to prove anymore. Unlike the old farts who keep wrestling for that one last shot at fame, I know I’m past my prime. I don’t need to win anymore matches, I won my fair share of titles. I put on match of the year matches. I’m an investor now. All I care about is making Money. And really though, the only reason Saint wants to fight me so bad is because he’s jelious because he knows I’m the better man in running an entire company. So if he thinks beating me will prove anything, the more power to him, but at the end of the day, Michael Saint will still be a nobody, and Hurricane Jeff will still be the owner of the best company in the world, APW.

Ace: What are your thoughts on Kid Cactus

Jeff: I look forward to seeing KC. Its been a while since we talked, but personally, I still have a bit of pay back to give him since we fought once in SWA and he won. But other than that, I look forward to seeing Kid Cactus back in the ring and see if he still has what it takes.

Ace: Thanks for your time Jeff, I’ll let you get into the arena and prepare for the contract signing.

Jeff: Hit me up after the show Ace, these girls like to party.

Ace: Uh….

Jeff: Think about it Ace

Jeff and the girls laugh as they walk into the arena

Ace: Ba...back to you guys.

________________________

CAAN: Some people never change.

ARQUETTE: So Hurricane Jeff is only doing this match because “the money was right”. It's good to know The Sedition have the funds to pay for Moses Lake, Hurricane Jeff and co. while the rest of us who are here week in and week out have to suffer.

CAAN: Just plain sucks.

ARQUETTE: Couldn't have said it better myself.

________________________

*Skippy Mohophosite, the scrawny and pasty middle aged Sedition loyalist paces back and forth backstage. Gladiator comes by and finds him.*

GLADIATOR: You look like you're ready to give birth, Skippy.

SKIPPY: Please don't make me fight, Gladiator.

GLADIATOR: Hey, you started this fight. This is what you get for taking Bryce Bridges name out of the Lethal Lottery running.

SKIPPY: I did it on your dare!

GLADIATOR: Which you should never have taken seriously! You know well enough to know half the stuff we say should NEVER be taken seriously. Or anything we say for that matter.

SKIPPY: He's going to kill me.

GLADIATOR: Probably....... Well.... see ya later!

SKIPPY: There has to be a way out of this.

GLADIATOR: Skippy, you fought many times back in the SWA days. You beat Mr. Kiljoy, Marty Jannetty, Britney Spears. You have an undefeated streak. You're the man that's never been beaten.

SKIPPY: Only because every time I was thrown into a match you guys cheated to help me win. I've never executed a single proper maneuver in my life.

GLADIATOR: Cheating, huh? I like the sound of that word. Just kind of rolls off the tongue.......... CHEA.....TING! Bet it's even more fund to try it out. It is the weekend after all. I say if Moses Lake can make himself special guest referee, so can I! Skippy, you go out there and face Bryce Bridges like a man. I'll call the match and we'll see how things go.

________________________

ARQUETTE: Does it ever end with these guys?

CAAN: He may just call it down the middle. Remember that Rev and Gladiator like to see Skippy suffer. He's not exactly a popular associate of The Sedition, more like a tag along.

ARQUETTE: You might be right. Time to see if Sedition publicist Skippy Mohophosite walks away with a pulse after being in the ring with Bryce Bridges.

°º²l]FNR[l²º°''˜¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨˜''°º²l]§§[l²º°''˜¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨˜''°º²l]2010[l²º°


GRUDGE MATCH
Bryce Bridges -vs- Skippy Mohophosite

Gladiator jogs down the aisle to a chorus of boos. He taps the ref on the shoulder and politely tells him to take a hike. Gladiator stretches and gets in full referee mode.

The Archies classic pop hit "Candy Girl (Sugar Sugar) blares over the speakers. SWA's resident lovemaster, Skippy Mohophosite, comes strutting down the aisle. Skippy wears his regular lime green suit, and he winks at several of the young ladies in the crowd. Skippy gets on the apron and steps through the ropes, continue to strut his stuff around the ring.

Edge of Seventeen by Jonas hits the PA system as the lights turn pink and green. Bryce walks out with his trademark zebra capone hat. He walks with a cocky undertone, getting booed every step of the way. He goes to high five a fan who trys return the favor, but before he makes contact, he quickly lows his hand, and gives the fan a pissed off look. Bryce shakes his head in a disapproving manor and moves along. Once at the apron, he takes a step back, takes off his hat, gets a running start, and slides into the ring. Once in the ring, he does the Super Crazy front flip nip-up. He does to the turnbuckle and climbs to the second rope. He makes a chicken wing with his right arm, taunting for the roaring elbow. He climbs down from the turnbuckle. The lights go back to normal and the music fades out as Bryce calls for a microphone. He speaks.[/color]

BRYCE: You knew all I've wanted was another chance at the main event and a shot at the title. I've been fighting with everything I have since week one, and last week you stole my chance. Get ready to learn what a body cast feels like Skippy!

Special referee Gladiator calls for the bell as Skippy gulps nervously. Bryce comes flying out of his corner. He jumps in the air and takes Skippy down with a Cross Body Block. Bryce has Skippy covered and Gladiator drops to make a fair count.

1...


2...




Skippy kicks out. Bryce kneels over Skippy and grabs him by the back of the head. Bryce starts smashing Skippy's head onto the mat. He does this 3 times and then picks him up. Bryce whips Skippy into the ropes on the far side. He bounces back and Bryce levels him with a Clothesline. Skippy stands right back up and Bryce takes him down with a second Clothesline. Skippy stands right back up and staggers around. Bryce picks him up over his shoulder and delivers a Running Powerslam. It almost looks like the ring itself bounced with the impact. Bryce covers Skippy again.

1...




2...




Skippy kicks out on his own.

ARQUETTE: A much slower count this time from Gladiator.

CAAN: But you have to admit, slow count or not he's calling it fair so far.

ARQUETTE: I suppose.

Bryce picks Skippy up and ties up with Skippy from behind. He lifts him up and drops him across his knee with a Backbreaker. Bryce is ready to pick Skippy back up, but he crawls across the ring to avoid him. Skippy backs into the corner and gets on his knees. Skippy starts begging Bryce to stop beating on him. He ignores Skippy and kicks him in the face.

ARQUETTE: You never beg. Always a sign of weakness.

Skippy hits his head on one of the turnbuckles after being kicked. Bryce picks him up and stands him a few feet out of the corner. He then steps outside the ring and climbs to the top rope. Bryce stands on the top rope with his back to the ring and jumps back with a Moonsault. He hits Skippy and takes him down. Bryce has Skippy covered again and He hooks a leg.

1...



2...




Kickout by Skippy. Bryce grabs Skippy by his hair and yanks him to his feet. Bryce back hands him across the face. Skippy is knocked a few feet back and Bryce backhands him again. Skippy staggers backwards and falls against the ropes. Bryce Clotheslines Skippy over the ropes and he lands on the apron. Skippy stands up on the apron and Bryce runs to the other side of the ring and goes off the ropes. Bryce comes charging toward Skippy and he flips over the ropes, and over him, grabbing his neck as he flips, and nailing him with a vicious Neckbreaker from off the apron. They are both down on the concrete.

CAAN: Good thing they missed the table. I want a week without our table breaking.

Special referee Gladiator exits the ring and stands over their fallen bodies. He picks up a long stick from under the broadcast table. He starts poking Skippy in the face with the pointy stick.

GLADIATOR: Get up Mohophosite! We don't pay you to lose to Bryce Bridges!

ARQUETTE: Not exactly an unobjective comment from our special referee.

Bryce starts rolling over and getting back up. He struggles to his feet and walks over to Skippy. Bryce pulls Skippy to his feet and throws him back in the ring. Bryce climbs up on the apron and waits for Skippy to stand. Once Skippy is on his feet he turns around and faces Bryce. Then Bryce launches himself over the ropes and takes Skippy down with a Shoulder Block. Bryce has him covered again.

1..





2...





Gladiator fakes a muscle cramp in his arm and stops the count. Bryce is on his feet and furious. He gets right in Gladiator's face and starts shouting and shoving. Gladiator points his finger at Bryce and threatens to DQ him. Bryce looks like he's going to ignore Gladiator and walk away, but just when his back is turned, Gladiator hits him from behind with an axe handle smash to the back. Bryce Bridges goes down. The fans boo Gladiator. He turns to the fans and smiles obnoxiously.

ARQUETTE: Saw that one coming. It's almost like The Sedition are dedicated to preventing Bryce Bridges from having any success.

CAAN: Bad with money and born cheaters.

Gladiator hasn't noticed that Bryce Bridges is pulling himself up behind him. Bryce charges at Gladiator and spins around before hitting him from behind with a ROARING ELBOW. This knocks Gladiator right out of the ring! Bryce then turns to Skippy's who's eyes are rolling out of his head. He grabs Skippy by the legs and flips him over, locking him into an Inverted Single Leg Crab, otherwise known as THE GRIP OF SEVENTEEN. Skippy is squeeling like a girl in pain.[/color]

ARQUETTE: Now what are you going to do Skippy? Your ringer ref is out cold!

Bryce keeps the submission hold locked in for over a minute and Skippy squeels every second of it. Finally another legitimate referee enters the ring and asks Skippy if he gives up. Skippy screams Yes! Yes! I give up! The ref calls for the bell.

“The Edge of Seventeen hits the PA again and Bryce Bridges lets go of the hold. He climbs the turnbuckle and raises his hands in victory. Skippy rolls out of the ring and collapses on the floor. Gladiator is starting to come around.

ARQUETTE: How about that? Skippy Mohophosite's 10 year undefeated streak..... which only consists of a handful of matches, all of which Rev and Gladiator helped him win, has finally come to an end.

Gladiator is now on his feet and shocked to see Bryce celebrating and hearing his music play. He shouts a few things at the other legit referee and storms over to the announcer. Gladiator whispers to the announcer. Bryce's music ends and he very impatiently waits to hear what's going on. Gladiator finishes talking to the announcer and then quickly grabs Skippy, draging him down the aisle by the arms.

”Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that due to the fact that General Manager Gladiator had the authority as special referee in this match, the submission decision in favor of Bryce Bridges has been voided! The winner, as a result of a disqualification on the grounds of striking a referee, and STILL UNDEFEATED, Skippy Mohophosite!”

*Unanimous boos from the crowd. Bryce Bridges kicks the ropes and shouts at Gladiator and Skippy. Gladiator smiles and waves to Bryce before quickly dragging Skippy backstage. Bryce races down the aisle after them*

ARQUETTE: Talk about a bogus call.

CAAN: I hate to play devil's advocate, but technically Gladiator's call was the fair decision.

ARQUETTE: I'll correct you on that. It may have been the by the rules technical decision, but it was anything but fair.

CAAN: True enough.

ARQUETTE: Still to come, Kid Cactus' arrival, the contract signing for the legends match next week, and our Fat Four Way main event. Stay tuned.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[Sedition: Gladiator]

For the last time we return to Ace Heart out in the parking lot. A limo slows down and stops within inches of Ace Heart. The driver steps out and opens the back door. Kid Cactus steps out wearing a jerseycowboy.com shirt. H shields his eyes from the sun and takes a look around.

KC: I miss Jersey already.

ACE: Kid Cactus, we're honored to have you back here in EWC. Do you have a few moments for me?

KC: You wouldn't be my first choice to spend a few minutes with, but I'll do you this favor.

ACE: It's been a long time since we've seen you in an EWC ring, and an even longer time since you were in the same building with both Michael Saint and Hurricane Jeff. What are your feelings about this match?

KC: There's no doubt it's a historic match. Not only do you have 3 original SWA stars, but 3 wrestling hall of famers. I'll be sharing the ring with some prestigious competition.

ACE: So you're saying you're honored to be in this match with Hurricane and Saint?

KC: In a way. Let's face it, these guys made a name for themselves as federation presidents and staff members. Not to downplay their wrestling legacy, but when you hear the name Michael Saint and Hurricane Jeff, the first image that comes to mind is not them standing victorious in the ring. I'll share the ring with them, but make no mistake about it, there's only one true wrestling legend who's name will be signed on that contract tonight, and that's the Jersey Cowboy the people love and call Kid Cactus!

*Kid Cactus starts to walk away. Ace speeds up to catch up to him*

ACE: Kid Cactus, one more moment. Is there anything else you wish to say before the contract signing?

KC: Yeah. In all these years Rev and Gladiator still know nothing about service. Why am I carrying my own bag here? Pick it up and haul my luggage to the locker room Ace.

--------------------------

ARQUETTE: All 3 men are now in the building. Let's take it down to the ring and get this contract signing underway.

“Theme From Patton” plays and Gladiator makes his way out to the ring. He waves to the booing fans as he walks down aisle. He steps into the ring with a mic in hand. In the middle of the ring there is a table set up with a contrct in the middle of the table. Gladiator raises the mic.

GLADIATOR: Ladies and Gentlemen, The Sedition is proud to present to you, tonight's contract signing for the EWC dream match of the century. All 3 of these men are legends and hall of famers. We have never seen all 3 of them square off in the same ring before, but next week we will. So without further ado. Let's bring them out.

“Cowboy” by Kid Rock plays. The fans rise to their feet and cheer as Kid Cactus makes his way to the ring. He tags the fans hands as he makes his way down the aisle. Kid Cactus steps into the ring and poses as the fans cheer and snap pictures. Kid Cactus sits down at the table.

The Animals song “House Of The Rising Sun” plays. Michael Saint walks out to a mixed reaction. He mostly receives boos, but he does receive many cheers of respect. Saint walks into the ring and asks Gladiator for the mic.

SAINT: I think we all have heard enough talking from all three of us tonight. Last time we were in a ring we only talked. I say we just throw down here and now, but I do not want to spoil anything.

Hurricane Jeff went out of his way to say this is not about EWC it is about SWA and all that blah blah blah bullshit. It is true. This is not about EWC. This is about SWA, but it is about the fact that you have dodged me long enough. This time I am going to get my way. I am going to get a win. I am going to put you down for the first time and for the last time.

Saint looks over at Kid Cactus.

SAINT: As for you KC, I got tons of respect for you. I know that you are a hard worker. I have been waiting for a chance to take you on for a long time. This is not about me disliking you like it is with Jeff. I am just wanting to see who is the better man, but we both know I am the better man in this one.

Kid Cactus gets up from his seat. He motions to the outside for a mic. The ring announcer hands him her mic.

KC: Hang on just a second here Saint. The fact is, eventhough you may deny it, everyone here knows who the better man is around here. It is not you, it is not Hurricane Jeff. The better man is the Jersey Cowboy people love and call Kid Cactus.

The fans cheer at this familiar catchphrase. Just then, “Raining Blood” by Slayer hit’s the PA. The fans boo as Hurricane Jeff makes his way to the ring. Hurricane Jeff quickly steps into the ring. He steps up to the table and signs the contract. As quickly as he entered, he exits the ring. The fans continue to boo as Hurricane Jeff exits the stage. Saint, and KC exchange looks of disgust. Gladiator motions towards the contract and Saint and KC each sign it. The fans cheer as they realize that the match is now officially official. The three men pose in the ring as the fans snap pictures. A large SWA, SWA, SWA chant begins and the men exit the ring.

ARQUETTE: Great, leave it up to Hurricane Jeff to ruin such a historical moment.

CAAN: He looked like he couldn't wait to get it over with.

ARQUETTE: Either way the match is now official, and we will see these three legends in the ring here next week, and I for one can't wait.

CAAN: And I for one can't wait for our Main Event, and it's coming up right now.

°º²l]FNR[l²º°''˜¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨˜''°º²l]§§[l²º°''˜¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨˜''°º²l]2010[l²º°

CHIRQUI: “The following is our Fatal Four Way Main Event,
The winner will receive a guaranteed title shot at Stranglemania!”

The lights in the arena go out. The sound of coins clinking and cash registers ringing swell over the loudspeaker as a fog begins to form in the entryway.

A golden spotlight shines into the fog as the bass line to Pink Floyd's "Money" begins to thump throughout the arena. A silhouette slowly comes into view through the fog, and as the guitars and drums kick in; Moses Lake emerges from the fog. The golden spotlight stays on him, as he is quickly flanked on either side by his team of one dozen large black security guards. Moses poses as a massive display of white and gold fireworks go off all around the stage.

A black Escalade then pulls up behind Moses through the fog. A guard opens the back door, and the cameras get a brief glimpse of the scantily clad Asian masseuses waiting for Moses in the back seat. Moses climbs in and the door is shut. The Escalade then slowly makes its way down to the bottom of the ramp. It reaches the bottom, all the while more fireworks go off on the stage.

As the bottom of the ramp, Moses waits for Emmanuelle Chriqui to announce him.

CHRIQUI: Now introducing the special guest referee, hailing from Upriver, New Brunswick, Canada and weighing in at 212 lbs., he is two-time former EwC Undisputed Champion, former Hardcore Champion, former Television Champion, former and longest-ever reigning International Champion, the 2006 and 2009 King of the Cage, EwC Hall of Famer and Rampage's Greatest Superstar... MOSES... LAKE!

The door to the Escalade opens, and Moses steps out, followed by his team of masseuses. Moses gets one last shoulder rub from the sexiest and Asianiest masseuse while his security team surrounds the ring and the Escalade backs up the ramp. Moses then slides into the ring under the bottom rope. He crosses the ring and hops onto the bottom rope, leans onto the top, and poses as a huge display of pyrotechnics explode from the ring posts.

CHIRQUI: “Introducing first,
Hailing from Johannesburg, South Africa,
Standing at 6 feet and 1 inch,
And weighing in at 229 lbs,
LARSEN VAN DER KAMP!!!”

“What I've Done” by Linkin Park plays and Larsen Van Der Kamp makes his way towards the ring. He walks to the
ring at slow pace, but remains completely focused on the ring. He
ignores the fans, and steps into the ring. He sits up on the top
turnbuckle and waits for his opponent.

CHIRQUI: “Introducing second,
Hailing from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan,
Standing at 5 feet and 11 inches,
And weighing in at 355 lbs,
FLETCH BAXTER!!!”

Some up close images of Fletch Baxter's fat is shown on the big screen. The Eye of the Tiger hits the speakers. As the lyrics "Rising up, back on the street" begin Fletch Baxter steps out attempting to jog on the spot. He has a towel around his neck, a pair of work out shorts over top of grey sweat pants, and a poorly fitting muscle shirt hugging his gut. His personal trainer Peppy shouts encouraging words to him. Fletch jogs down the aisle doing aerobics style arm raises and has already broken a sweat by the time he reaches the the ring. Fletch rolls under the bottom rope and shadow boxes to warm up.

CHIRQUI: “Introducing third,
Hailing from Newark, New Jersey,
Standing at 6 feet and 3 inches,
And weighing in at 230 lbs,
FRENCH MONTANA!!!”

The unmistakable screeching sound of electric guitars from "D'you Know What I Mean" by Oasis hits the speakers as the lights dim to dark... The fans rise to their feet in a HUGE mixed reaction. The snare pops from the music and the lights turn to a gray and black mixture as the television camera goes to complete black and white. As the music continues, out steps the man know as French Montana. Several fireworks and exploding devices continuously set off for a 10 second period. The loud noise causes some of the fans to cover and plug their ears. The music continues as Montana casually walks down the ramp with a swagger of an invincible man. His look is careless as he rarely acknowledges a fan except to stare an chuckle at their sneers. His true fans sing along with the music as Montana slowly and methodically works his way to the ring. Never seeming in a rush as he reaches the steps of the ring, he slowly looks to the sky, points and mumbles something to himself... Then in one leap hits the top turnbuckle to cause yet another 10 second round of fireworks and exploding devices to set off... Slyly he confidently poses his chiseled frame to a chorus of cheers and boos from the crowd as they know French Montana has entered the ring...

CHIRQUI: “And the final participant,
Hailing from Toronto, Ontario, Canada,
Standing at 6 feet and 9 inches,
And weighing in at 250 lbs,
CAPTAIN INSANITY!!!”

The lights dim a little as Tantric`s Down and Out starts to play. Captain Insanity steps out from behind the curtain. He pauses briefly, looking down at the ring and his opponents. From behind, Teen Throb hits Captain Insanity with a crowbar. Insanity stumbles forward. Teen Throb spins him round and hits him over the head with the crowbar. Insanity drops down. Teen Throb picks hi up. He points down to the ground off the ramp. Teen Throb tosses Insanity off the stage and Insanity crashes through some tables on the ground. Teen Throb unzips his track suit jacket and reveals a shirt that says Hardcore Boy Toy. The few little girls in attendence scream as Teen Thorb flexes his biceps. He points at Fletch Baxter in the ring and exits through the curtain.

ARQUETTE: Teen Throb has laid out Captain Insanity.

CAAN: You know Captain Insanity is not going to be happy about that.

Moses looks towards Insanity and chuckles. He seperates the other men into their individual corner. He checks Fletch, Larsen, and Montana for weapons. Moses steps back and calls for the bell. As he does one of his masseuses pulls out a massage table. Moses climbs out of the ring and lies on the table. The masseuses start working on his lower back.

ARQUETTE: “It's nice to see Moses taking his job as referee seriously.”

CAAN: “I wonder if he could spare a masseuse. I've got this crick in my neck.”

Montana looks down at Moses with disgust. As he does, Fletch grabs Larsen and applies a Side Headlock. Montana gets up and comes at Fletch. Fletch hits Montana hith a kick to the gut. He drives Larsen's head to the mat with a Bulldog. He then runs at Montana and delivers a Swinging Neckbreaker. Fletch picks Larsen up and whips him to the corner. He then picks up Montana and whips him to the opposite corner. Fletch charges at Larsen and hits him with a Clothesline in the corner. He then runs at Montana and crushes him with a Stinger Splash in the corner. Both men are staggered and run at Fletch. Fletch dodges out of the way and both men collide in the center of the ring. Larsen and Montana both roll out of the ring. Fletch steps out on the apron. Larsen and Montana both get up on their feet and Fletch jumps off the apron and drops down on both Montana and Larsen with a Cross Body Block. As they fall back they get crushed on the ground underneath Fletch.

ARQUETTE: Fletch Baxter has taken early charge of this match. He is using his size to his advantage.

CAAN: There's a lot of size to use.

Fletch picks Montana up and throws him into the ring. Fletch steps into the ring and grabs Montana by the legs. Fletch applies a Boston Crab on Montana in the center of the ring. As Montana screams in pain Larsen scales the top rope behind Fletch's back. Larsen jumps off the top rope and catches Fletch with a Bulldog on the way down. Larsen drives Fletch's head to the mat and it breaks the hold. Meanwhile outside the ring Captain Insanity begins to stumble towards the ring. Back in the ring Larsen covers Fletch. One of the masseuses taps Moses on the shoulder. Moses looks up and slowly makes his way in place to make the count,

1...

2...

Fletch kicks out. Moses returns to his table and they continue the massage. Larsen picks Fletch up and whips him off the ropes. Fletch bounces off the ropes and Larsen ducks down for a Back Body Drop. Fletch does a stumbly leapfrogs over Larsen, but as soon as he leaps over Larsen, Montana hits him with a Dropkick. Montana then grabs Larsen from behind and delivers a Inverted Powerbomb. Montana goes for the cover. Moses again slowly makes his way into the ring.

1...

2...

Captain Insanity gets in the ring and breaks up the pin. Moses rolls out and again returns to his massage. Insanity picks Montana up and tosses him out of the ring. Fletch gets up and charges at him, but Insanity hits him with a Big Boot. Fletch drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring.. He then picks Larsen up and tosses him to the outside. Larsen gets up on his feet and Insanity dives over the top rope with a Suicide Dive. He hits Larsen and both men fall to the ground. Both men get up to their feet and begin to exchange blows. They start to fight their way down the aisle. Insanity whips Larsen against the barricade. He charges towards Larsen and jumps up in the air attempting to splash Larsen against the barricade. Larsen sidesteps out of the way and Insanity smashes into the barricade.

ARQUETTE: Captain Insanity and Larsen Van Der Kamp have taken this fight to the outside.

CAAN: This is the EWC, every fight goes to the outside.

Back in the ring Fletch and Montana have engaged in battle. The two men are exchanging Knife Edge Chops in the center of the ring. First Fletch chops, then Montana does. With each chop the fans respond with a “WOOOOOOOO”. After a few exchanges Fletch hits Montana with a kick to the groin. He grabs Montana by the head and delivers a Double Underhook DDT. Fletch goes for the cover. Moses lazily gets in position,

1...

2...

Montana gets his shoulder up. Moses goes back to the outside. He sets up a lawn chair and sits down. One of the ladies hand him a smoothie. Moses kicks back and sips his smoothie. Back outside the ring Insanity is lying on the concrete. Larsen climbs up on the barricade. He jumps off of the barricade and drops down on Insanity with a Splash. Larsen picks Insanity up and drags him towards the ring. Inside the ring, Fletch climbs up on the top rope. The fans gasp as it looks as though the ropes are going to buckle. He looks at Montana down on the mat and then looks at Larsen dragging Insanity towards the ring on the outside. Fletch jumps to the outside. Larsen drops Insanity and his eyes bug out as he sees the blubbery Fletch fly towards him. Fletch nails Larsen with a Double Axe Handle. Fletch turns towards the ring, but Montana springboards off the top rope to the outside and hits Fletch with a Flying Clothesline.

ARQUETTE: These men are pulling out all the stops here tonight.

CAAN: Of course, who wouldn't want a chance to headline Stranglemania.

Montana gets up and throws Fletch into the ring. Montana goes for the cover. Moses walks up to the apron and counts him down from there,

1...

2...

Fletch kicks out. Insanity gets to his feet and tries to climb in the ring, but Larsen grabs his leg. Larsen gets up on his feet still hoding Insanity' leg. Insanity hits Larsen with an Enziguri. Insanity picks Larsen up. He delivers a Sky High Powerbomb and drops Larsen to the concrete. Insanity gets into the ring and Montana charges after him. Insanity hits him with an Axe Handle Smash to the head. Insanity picks up both Montana and Fletch. He takes Fletch's head in one arm and Montana's in the other. Insanity drops both men at the same time with a double Diamond Cutter. Insanity covers Montana. Moses again steps to the apron

1...

2...

Kick out. Insanity covers Fletch

1...

2...

Fletch gets his shoulder up. Insanity climbs up to the top rope. Just before he jumps off, Larsen climbs up on the apron and shoves Insanity off the top rope. Insanity flips off the top rope and crashes down to the mat. Larsen climbs up on the top rope. He jumps off with a Frog Splash, but Insanity rolls out of the way. Larsen crashes down to the mat. Fletch crawls over and covers Larsen. This time Moses doesn't even bother getting out of his chair. He just slaps his hand on his knee.

1...

2...

Larsen kicks out. Montana crawls over and covers Insanity

1...

2...

Insanity kicks out.

ARQUETTE: Everyone is trying to pin everyone here.

CAAN: Yeah, and our referee isn't even bothering to get out of his chair to count them down.

ARQUETTE: Moses Lake's work ethic is less than inspiring.

Montana and Fletch both get up. Montana charges at Fletch with a Clothesline, but Fletch ducks it. Montana turns around and Fletch hits him with a Superkick. Of course it was more like a side kick to the gut since Fletch couldn't get his leg up all the way, but it was still a hard kick. Fletch then picks Larsen up and sets him up for a German Suplex, but Insanity gets up and grabs Fletch from behind. In an amazing show of strength, Insanity picks Fletch up in a German Suplex, but Fletch still holds onto Larsen. All three men fall down to the mat. Insanity gets crushed underneath both Larsen and Fletch. Larsen gets up on his feet. Larsen drags Insanity to the corner. Larsen slingshots off the top rope and drops down on Insanity with THE MEMORY REMAINS. Larsen covers Insanity. Moses slaps down on his knee

1...

2...

Montana drops down on Larsen's head with a Leg Drop to break up the pin.

ARQUETTE: In any regular match this would be over, but in a Fatal Fourway you have to worry about more than just the guy you're pinning.

CAAN: It's hard enough to worry about 1 other guys let alone 2.

Montana gets up and stands against the ropes Fletch charges at Him and nails him with a Clothesline. The impact of the clothesline sends both men flying over the top rope. Larsen picks Insanity up and whips him off the ropes. Insanity bounces off the ropes and catches Larsen with a Wrap Around DDT on the rebound. Both men lie out cold on the mat. On the outside, Fletch picks Montana up. He sets Montana up and Piledrives him down to the concrete. Back on the inside Insanity picks Larsen up and executes an INSANITY BOMB. Insanity goes for the cover, but Fletch again scales the top rope as he does,

1...

2...

Fletch drops down on Insanity with SPLISH SPLASH to break the cover. Insanity rolls off Larsen and Fletch goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Montana springboards off the top rope and drops down on Fletch with an Elbow Drop to break the cover.

ARQUETTE: So many near falls have been broken up tonight.

CAAN: This match could have been over 4 or 5 times by now.

Montana picks Fletch up. He whips him off the ropes. Montana bounces off the opposite side. Montana hits Fletch on the rebound with THE FRENCH CONNECTION. Montana covers him, but Moses isn't paying attention. On the other side of the ring, Larsen pulls Insanity to the corner. He leaps up to the top rope and drops down on Insanity with THE MEMORY REMAINS. Larsen covers Insanity. As both Larsen and Montana have someone covered, Moses looks up. He slides into the ring and makes the count.

1...

2...

3!!!

ARQUETTE: What, we have a winner, but who is it?

CAAN: I don't know. Both Montana and Van Der Kamp had their guy pinned.

Both Larsen and French get up and celebrate think that they won the match. Montana and Larsen both try to get Moses to raise their hand in victory. Moses looks confused. Moses walks over to the ring announcer and says somethin to her. She steps into the ring and raises the mic.

CHIRQUI: Ladies and Gentlemen, according to the referees official decision, here is your winner,
LARSEN VAN DER KAMP!!!

Montana protests as Moses raises Larsen's hand. “What I've Done” by Linkin Park plays and Van Der Kamp rises his hands in victory. Moses makes the sign for the music to cut. Pink Floyd's “Money” plays and Moses starts to pose in the ring. Larsen walks up to Moses' face and stares him down. Larsen slowly backs away and leaves the ring. As he makes his way to the back, Moses continues to pose as “Money” plays. Montana has a look of rage in his eyes. He runs at Moses from behind and hits him in the back of the head with THE FRENCH CONNECTION. Montana mounts himself on top of Moses and hits him with some vicous punches. Moses' securiy crew rushes into the ring. 4 of the biggest, baddest, blackest security guards tackle him to the ground. Moses gets up holding his head. He motions for the security guards to pick Montana up. Moses hits Montana with a hard Knockout Punch. Montana hits the mat and Moses grabs a mic.

MOSES: If you think that you can get away with attacking me, you are sadly mistaken. I am Rampage's greatest superstar, and I don't have to tolerate this. So I'll tell you what, if you're so eager for a fight than how about this. Right here, next week it will be Moses Lake vs. French Montana in whatever kind of crazy match The Sedition wants to throw at us. Then you'll see why I make the big bucks.

“Money” plays as Moses Lake exits the ring leaving French Montana outcold in the ring.

ARQUETTE: I am so confused. Technically both Van Der Kamp and Montana got a pinfall in the match, but Moses has declared Van Der Kamp the winner. Now we have Moses Lake calling out French Montana next week.

CAAN: I have just received word that Ace Heart is backstage with our General Managers. Hopefully they can clear this up a bit for us.

Ace Heart is backstage with Rev and Gladiator.

ACE: Would you gentlemen care to comment on what we have just seen transpire in the main event.

REV: We sure would. We would like to say that Teen Throb was completely unjustified with his attack on Captain Insanity. Therefore we are giving Captain Insanity a chance for revenge. Next week Teen Throb will have to step into the ring with Captain Insanity.

ACE: That's really exciting, but I was actually talking more about the match itself.

GLADIATOR: Uhhhh... yeah sure... great match. Fun was had by all.

ACE: I'm not talking about the match itself so much as I'm referring to the controversial finish we just saw.

REV: Yes, well.... I have to be honest with you Ace, we never actually watched the match.

GLADIATOR: Cut backs, you know. Monitors are pretty expensive these days.

ACE: Well let me summarize for you. French Montana had Fletch Baxter pinned, and at the same time Larsen Van Der Kamp had Captain Insanity pinned, yet Moses declared Larsen Van Der Kamp the winner.

REV: We of The Sedition fully support Moses Lake, and trust his judgement completely. The referees decision is final, and we have nothing more to say to this matter.

ACE: What about Moses Lake challenging French Montana to a match next week?

Rev and Gladiator's faces light up with excitment.

REV: Moses Lake is going to fight. This is great. Excuse us Ace, we have a show to promote for next week. Financial stability here we come.

Rev and Gladiator run off and we cut back to the broadcast booth.

ARQUETTE: Well fans, it looks like tonight's decision is going to stand. Larsen Van Der Kamp has earned a guaranteed title shot at Stranglemania.

CAAN: And next week, in addition to the match between Michael Saint, Kid Cactus, and Hurricane Jeff we also will have a match between French Montana and Moses Lake.

ARQUETTE: Don't forget the match between Teen Throb and Captain Insanity.

CAAN: It is shaping up to be quite the show.

ARQUETTE: That's all the time we have for tonight. Join us next week for the SWA Tribute Show, same time, smae place, same channell.

CAAN: Same lame David Arquette.

Arquette prepares to say something in his defence as the show goes off the air.