Post by Kid Cactus on Jul 31, 2005 17:42:46 GMT -6
***As the PPV is about to begin, we start off in the backstage area where everyone seems to be in panic. Two days ago, the Vice President had gone missing for mysterious reasons. No one knows why he’s gone or where he has went. The only thing the people at EwC know is that without the Vice President there, they are left in a jam. There is no one there to run the show and almost everything that could go wrong seems to be happening. People are running around screaming, jumping through windows, trying to hang themselves…well okay, they’re not in that much of a panic, but they’re pretty damn close. However, two executives for the EwC have taken it into their hands to inform the one man who can take over at this point…President Mac. The only thing is, both men are worried about telling him. He informed everyone that he had gone away on important business and that he was not to be disturbed, leaving the somewhat brave executives playing hot potato with the phone. ***
Executive #1: You call him!
Executive #2: No, you call him!
Executive #1: You call him! He likes you more!
Executive #2: He doesn’t even know my name. He likes you though; you bought him that cool radio from Brookstone.
Executive #1: He thought it was only a footstool and gave it away at a garage sale for free.
Executive #2: Well one of us MUST call him, and soon. It’s total chaos here without him or the VP running the show.
Executive #1: I got an idea; rock, paper, scissors!
Executive #2: Fine.*
***The two executives begin to play rock paper scissor, but no one ever wins. They repeatedly keep doing the same one over and over again. Finally they decide to switch up and change it to flipping a coin. They both choose a side, but the coin hits the ground and lands on the side. They both give off a sigh of exhaustion. ***
Executive #1: Okay, how about this. We both call and talk to him.
Executive #2: Fine, but no walking out of the room as we are talking.
***Then one of the executives sets the phone to speaker dial and dials up President Mac. The phone rings a few times, worrying the executives with each tone, until Mac finally picks up. ***
President Mac: Mac here, what’s going on?
Executive #2: Mac, it’s us here at Battle Grounds. We need to talk to you about something.
President Mac: Well I’m busy with something. ***A girl his heard giggling in the background over the phone. *** You have to talk to Vice President Kool with any issues tonight.
Executive #2: Well that’s just the thing Mr. Mac…Kool isn’t here.
President Mac: WHAT!?!
Executive #2: He…he…he’s still missing from last Friday.
President Mac: Well who’s running the show then?
Executive #2: No one sir.
President Mac: Are you kidding me. You’re seriously telling me that our 3rd biggest PPV so far doesn’t have anyone running it?
Executive #2: Right sir.
President Mac: God Damnit!!! Well we need to search every house, doghouse, hothouse, steakhouse, and whore house for him. We need to find him.
Executive #2: I’ll check out the steakhouses.
Executive #1: Dibs on the whorehouses!
President Mac: This is no time for jokes! This is a matter of life and death!
Executive #2: Don’t worry Mr. Mac; I’m sure VP Kool is alive and well.
President Mac: KOOL!?! I was talking about the life and death of my PPV…and of my company! Kool must be found before things start to get out of control!
Executive #1: Well about that…
President Mac: Yes…?
Executive #1 We’ve already been running into trouble.
President Mac: What trouble?
Executive #2: Well first, most of the DVL Roster hasn’t shown up, only 2 members are here. Then we have the Television Championship match tonight which could turn into a gang war between FORCE and the Impact Players. And we also have Dreadnaught trying to create some sort of surprise for his match tonight, but no one else is able to figure out what.
President Mac: Well that’s just all so awesome to hear [/obvious sarcasm]. Well I guess I have no other choose but to go with Plan B.
Executive #1: Plan B sir? Oh My God!
Executive #2: No sir, anything…anything but Plan B!
President Mac: Do either of you even know what Plan B is?
Executive #1: No sir.
Executive #2: Not a clue.
President Mac: ***sigh*** Well Plan B is this, I will have to strip JT Kool of his Vice Presidents position and replace him with someone else.
***With that said, both executives smile, and start laying down the charm. ***
Executive #1: Oh really. Well sir, you know I’ve always been loyal and…
Executive #2: No way! I’ve been the most dedicated and hard working…
Executive #1: No! This man wouldn’t be good for the position…he steals office supplies.
Executive #2: Well my friend here sniffs glue!
President Mac: QUIT IT! I’m not hiring either one of you, so calm down. I’ve already chosen someone to replace him. He’s already at the arena, so I’m going to give him a call now and place him in charge. Everyone will be listening to him for the rest of the night, clear?
Executive #1: Clear sir, but who is?
President Mac: Oh, you’ll find out soon enough…
***At that, the phone disconnects and a constant tone is now heard. The executives look at each other in bewilderment, as the screen fades out and a production video for Battle Grounds plays. It goes through all the various matches and feuds that are happening tonight, and finally the show starts and we are now looking in on the main arena of Madison Square Garden. The place is packed with New Yorkers, cheering and yelling in excitement as the show is about to begin. At ringside as always is the announcers desk, and sitting behind it is EwC and HCW Legend FBI, and next to him is the son of Academy Award Winning actor Tom Hanks: Colin Hanks. ***
FBI: Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to EwC Battle Ground, the 3rd EwC PPV since it’s reopening. Tonight we have some great matches lined up for you, so lets show the line up right now.
***The line up for tonight then shows up on the titantron. ***
Colin Hanks: Wow, that’s one KING KONG size lineup tonight. You can guarantee that none of these guys will be MONKEYING around.
FBI: What are you talking about?
Colin Hanks: I’m talking about this BLOCKBUSTER show we have that people will go APE for!
FBI: No, no…something else is up here. What are you trying to sell here?
Colin Hanks: Well aside from my wonderful career here at the EwC announcing wrestling PPVs, I’m also still acting and will soon star in the Box Office Hit: KING KONG!
FBI: That’s Great! But…I thought Jack Black was the star in the movie.
Colin Hanks: Well he is, but I’m the other star.
FBI: So you play the next leading male in the movie?
Colin Hanks: Well…no…I play Preston.
FBI: Oh, I see…well he wasn’t really a big part in the original.
Colin Hanks: The same kind of can be said for the new one too…***sigh***
FBI: You’re only in that movie because you know Jack Black, aren’t you.
Colin Hanks: Yea…but I give an award winning performance, just like my dad!
FBI: Sure…
Colin Hanks: Come on, don’t you think I can win an award?
FBI: Of course I do kid…
Colin Hanks: Thanks FBI!
FBI: …I’m sure the Razzies will be keeping a fine eye on your work. However, we’ve talked enough about acting, winning awards, and doing shameless plugs. It’s now time for out first match.
Executive #1: You call him!
Executive #2: No, you call him!
Executive #1: You call him! He likes you more!
Executive #2: He doesn’t even know my name. He likes you though; you bought him that cool radio from Brookstone.
Executive #1: He thought it was only a footstool and gave it away at a garage sale for free.
Executive #2: Well one of us MUST call him, and soon. It’s total chaos here without him or the VP running the show.
Executive #1: I got an idea; rock, paper, scissors!
Executive #2: Fine.*
***The two executives begin to play rock paper scissor, but no one ever wins. They repeatedly keep doing the same one over and over again. Finally they decide to switch up and change it to flipping a coin. They both choose a side, but the coin hits the ground and lands on the side. They both give off a sigh of exhaustion. ***
Executive #1: Okay, how about this. We both call and talk to him.
Executive #2: Fine, but no walking out of the room as we are talking.
***Then one of the executives sets the phone to speaker dial and dials up President Mac. The phone rings a few times, worrying the executives with each tone, until Mac finally picks up. ***
President Mac: Mac here, what’s going on?
Executive #2: Mac, it’s us here at Battle Grounds. We need to talk to you about something.
President Mac: Well I’m busy with something. ***A girl his heard giggling in the background over the phone. *** You have to talk to Vice President Kool with any issues tonight.
Executive #2: Well that’s just the thing Mr. Mac…Kool isn’t here.
President Mac: WHAT!?!
Executive #2: He…he…he’s still missing from last Friday.
President Mac: Well who’s running the show then?
Executive #2: No one sir.
President Mac: Are you kidding me. You’re seriously telling me that our 3rd biggest PPV so far doesn’t have anyone running it?
Executive #2: Right sir.
President Mac: God Damnit!!! Well we need to search every house, doghouse, hothouse, steakhouse, and whore house for him. We need to find him.
Executive #2: I’ll check out the steakhouses.
Executive #1: Dibs on the whorehouses!
President Mac: This is no time for jokes! This is a matter of life and death!
Executive #2: Don’t worry Mr. Mac; I’m sure VP Kool is alive and well.
President Mac: KOOL!?! I was talking about the life and death of my PPV…and of my company! Kool must be found before things start to get out of control!
Executive #1: Well about that…
President Mac: Yes…?
Executive #1 We’ve already been running into trouble.
President Mac: What trouble?
Executive #2: Well first, most of the DVL Roster hasn’t shown up, only 2 members are here. Then we have the Television Championship match tonight which could turn into a gang war between FORCE and the Impact Players. And we also have Dreadnaught trying to create some sort of surprise for his match tonight, but no one else is able to figure out what.
President Mac: Well that’s just all so awesome to hear [/obvious sarcasm]. Well I guess I have no other choose but to go with Plan B.
Executive #1: Plan B sir? Oh My God!
Executive #2: No sir, anything…anything but Plan B!
President Mac: Do either of you even know what Plan B is?
Executive #1: No sir.
Executive #2: Not a clue.
President Mac: ***sigh*** Well Plan B is this, I will have to strip JT Kool of his Vice Presidents position and replace him with someone else.
***With that said, both executives smile, and start laying down the charm. ***
Executive #1: Oh really. Well sir, you know I’ve always been loyal and…
Executive #2: No way! I’ve been the most dedicated and hard working…
Executive #1: No! This man wouldn’t be good for the position…he steals office supplies.
Executive #2: Well my friend here sniffs glue!
President Mac: QUIT IT! I’m not hiring either one of you, so calm down. I’ve already chosen someone to replace him. He’s already at the arena, so I’m going to give him a call now and place him in charge. Everyone will be listening to him for the rest of the night, clear?
Executive #1: Clear sir, but who is?
President Mac: Oh, you’ll find out soon enough…
***At that, the phone disconnects and a constant tone is now heard. The executives look at each other in bewilderment, as the screen fades out and a production video for Battle Grounds plays. It goes through all the various matches and feuds that are happening tonight, and finally the show starts and we are now looking in on the main arena of Madison Square Garden. The place is packed with New Yorkers, cheering and yelling in excitement as the show is about to begin. At ringside as always is the announcers desk, and sitting behind it is EwC and HCW Legend FBI, and next to him is the son of Academy Award Winning actor Tom Hanks: Colin Hanks. ***
FBI: Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to EwC Battle Ground, the 3rd EwC PPV since it’s reopening. Tonight we have some great matches lined up for you, so lets show the line up right now.
***The line up for tonight then shows up on the titantron. ***
CWA Championship Battle Royal:
ALEC SAINE, SOLDIER X, THE PROPHECY, CHRIS YOUNG, BIG MIKE, ZACK PALMER, JEFF RICHTER, VLAD DRAC, RAIN, ABRAHAM, CHRIS DISCONSTANZA
Television Championship Match:
Nathin Doe © vs. Alex Draven
HCW United States Championship Match:
Shawn Orka vs. Dreadnaught
EwC Hardcore Championship Match:
ShadowMan © vs. D-Fuzed vs. Shawn Orka
HCW World Championship Match:
Stung vs. Matt Sentel
ALEC SAINE, SOLDIER X, THE PROPHECY, CHRIS YOUNG, BIG MIKE, ZACK PALMER, JEFF RICHTER, VLAD DRAC, RAIN, ABRAHAM, CHRIS DISCONSTANZA
Television Championship Match:
Nathin Doe © vs. Alex Draven
HCW United States Championship Match:
Shawn Orka vs. Dreadnaught
EwC Hardcore Championship Match:
ShadowMan © vs. D-Fuzed vs. Shawn Orka
HCW World Championship Match:
Stung vs. Matt Sentel
Colin Hanks: Wow, that’s one KING KONG size lineup tonight. You can guarantee that none of these guys will be MONKEYING around.
FBI: What are you talking about?
Colin Hanks: I’m talking about this BLOCKBUSTER show we have that people will go APE for!
FBI: No, no…something else is up here. What are you trying to sell here?
Colin Hanks: Well aside from my wonderful career here at the EwC announcing wrestling PPVs, I’m also still acting and will soon star in the Box Office Hit: KING KONG!
FBI: That’s Great! But…I thought Jack Black was the star in the movie.
Colin Hanks: Well he is, but I’m the other star.
FBI: So you play the next leading male in the movie?
Colin Hanks: Well…no…I play Preston.
FBI: Oh, I see…well he wasn’t really a big part in the original.
Colin Hanks: The same kind of can be said for the new one too…***sigh***
FBI: You’re only in that movie because you know Jack Black, aren’t you.
Colin Hanks: Yea…but I give an award winning performance, just like my dad!
FBI: Sure…
Colin Hanks: Come on, don’t you think I can win an award?
FBI: Of course I do kid…
Colin Hanks: Thanks FBI!
FBI: …I’m sure the Razzies will be keeping a fine eye on your work. However, we’ve talked enough about acting, winning awards, and doing shameless plugs. It’s now time for out first match.