FSW #1 July 19th 2015 London Ontario Canada

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WARNING: This live event contains stunts performed by professionals or under the supervision of professionals and maybe unsuitable for younger viewers. Accordingly EWC and it's producers must insist that no one attempt to recreate or re-enact any stunt or activity performed in this live event.

 

The Extreme Wrestling Corporation Presents 

Future Starts of Wrestling 

Episode#1
July 19th 2015

Live on Sundays 11PM EST/10PM CST (ESPN, Spike, SkySports) 

Brought to you by Under Armour, Sony and Dr Pepper 

Live at the Budweiser Gardens in London Ontario, on Sunday, July 19th, 2015 

Future Stars Of Wrestling 

July 19, 2015 

Live From the Budweiser Gardens in London Ontario Canada

Commentators: Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Announcer: Amy Schumer

Backstage interviewer: Eric Compton

Push Me By Black Stone plays, as the FSW logo appears over the Titantron, eliciting massive cheers for the sold out Budweiser Gardens in London Ontario Canada.

Trey Parker: We are in the great white North tonight, as we kick off the revolution for the future, Welcome everyone, I'm Trey Parker, joined with Matt Stone, an welcome, the Future Stars of Wrestling.

Matt Stone: Yeah and it should be a great show, under the EWC brand. Otherwise we can blame Canada.

The theme music for FSW fades out, only to be replaced by Homegrown, by Lynyrd Skynyrd. We then see the man that is the General Manager of FSW, James Duffman, appear at the ramp, with a Bottle of Jack Daniels in hand, and a smile on his face.

Trey Parker: And here comes our GM, Mr. James Duffman.

Matt Stone: Yeah I'm sure this fat man has got some good stuff for us. Or at least he better.

James Duffman walks down the ramp, and enters in the ring. Once inside, he requests a Mic, while taking a quick shot of his drink.

James Duffman: Oh that's some good stuff. Much like what tonight promises to bring. Because it goes without saying, but ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Future Stars of Wrestling, where Sky's the limit, the women are hot, and everyone, is ready for a fight.

Matt Stone: Got that right.

James Duffman: Now the Duffman says he doesn't want to waste to much time, so let me just fill you in on what's to come in the next little while. Tonight, we will showcase various talents that will sure to be the future, not only of the EWC brand, but the entirety of wrestling itself. After tonight, we will begin to find out, just who truly is, the best of the best. For no matter what gender you are, or what race...the one who shall rise above the rest, will be awarded, with THIS!

James Turns towards the Titantron, as we see a big picture of a title belt.

James Duffman: That's right. Starting next show, Everyone will get their shot at obtaining the big prize itself here in FSW, the FSW world heavyweight championship.

The crowd massively cheers for this announcement. Duffman raises his bottle to the screen in a cheers motion, before taking another shot straight from the bottle.

Matt Stone: This guy is taking us places.

Trey Parker: Certainly is, right away with that event to look forward to.

Matt Stone: That to, but I was referring to the fact he drinks on the job. Man I wish I was him now.

James Duffman: Now before the Duffman leaves I have a very special guest for us, who wanted to give you, the Future Stars of Wrestling, some words of advice. So please help me welcome, a revolutionary mama in EWC, and former EWC Champion...RUTHLESS AGRESSION!

Du du du du-du du du

Du du du du du-du du du

Fall Out Boy Centuries came blasting over the speakers as Ruthless Aggression came out. She stood there looking among the crowd as they were chanting her name. She was wearing a pair of blue jeans with her hair tied in ponytail with a FSW Shirt on tied to the side. James Duffman leaves the ring, and meets up with Rutthan Parks midway at the ramp, and shakes her hand, and even kisses it, giving her a confident, and somewhat flirtatious look. As she enters the ring she looks out towards the crowd as she took it all in. She then grabs a microphone as she looks up at the ramp towards the back leaning over the ropes as she spoke.

Ruthless Aggression:I know many of you out there know me as Ruthless Aggression from Friday night Rampage and the first ever woman to win the EWC Championship title here at EWC . You felt you saw greatest among the roster from both Brawl and Rampage. You haven’t saw anything yet. You are about to be azament by some of the up rising stars in the wrestler business that are in the back right now. 

The crowd start to cheer a bit and give her hand as she looks back out towards the crowd. 

Ruthless Aggression:I would like to personally tell everyone out on that roster. Once I notice some of the young men and women that join FSW. I see all of your guys here with me either it be at Brawl or Rampage. I believe your all have what it takes to become something great. Among the follow wrestlers Kimi Smalls, Sway. Laura Molinaro, Jezzbel, and Candace one of your guys can be the next woman in EWC company that could become the next EWC Championship title holder. 

Ruthann looks up at the ramp towards the back with a soft nod. 

Ruthless Aggression: So ladies I know you won’t disappoint me. I know your all have greatest within your little pinkie. I know you going to come down to this ring and step inside of here and take it by the balls so to speak. Don’t worry guys I believe your guys will do just the same. Just remember when you step inside of this ring against with a woman. She not just a woman but she is wrestler! Give her the respect she should have in and out of a ring just like a male wrestler. Treat those woman as equals just like you would a guy. 

She give them a hand towards the back as she looks back out towards the crowd. 

Ruthless Aggression: I foresee great things for everyone around here.. I believe everyone around here will become something great. I am not just saying that because I have to. It is something I believe in my soul. So this goes out towards everyone on the roster. Welcome to the best thing in your life. Welcome to a place where you can tell everyone who made you feel like shit a big fuck you. Welcome to a place where you believe you the best and the greatest that you can show just that. Welcome to a place where you can be what you truly believe you are. That is a WRESTLER and as a fellow Roster member from Rampage I would like to say welcome! Now it time to get this show start! 

That when Fall out boy Centuries came back on as she climb out of the ring looking out towards the crowd as she smirks walking to the back.

Trey Parker: Damn. what good motivational words there.

Matt Stone: Words? Did you see the body on her. That Trey, is a MILF!

Trey Parker: I won't disagree dude. Either way, let's run down the card. We're kicking things off with Kruzer, taking on GBH.

Matt Stone: Alot of weight to deal with, considering this is FSW's first match ever!

Trey Parker: We follow that up with Sway VS Aiden Hall.

Matt Stone: What kind of name is Sway?

Trey Parker: Don't know. Either way, Match three sees Jakob Mayhem taking on Jezzebel.

Matt Stone: Could be interesting to see.

Trey Parker: In our fourth match, we have Laura Molinaro taking on Kimi Smalls.

Matt Stone: CATFIGHT!

Trey Parker: Probably not. Either way, Match five has Mayeux taking on Parker Van Peters.

Matt Stone: It's THE Parker Van Peters, and he'll probably be the best thing to happen in FSW.

Trey Parker: Only time will tell, because everyone here has an equal chance. With match six, we have York Champson Taking on Drake Alexi. We then have what looks to be an awesome Man event, with Marcus 'Lonestar' Slater, taking on James Dawes.

Matt Stone: The results of the Night of Champions free show essentially made those last two matches.

Trey Parker: Indeed they did. but now, it's time for us to kick off FSW, with the first match of the night.

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SHOW OPENER

KRUZER Vs GBH

Match Writer: James Duffman

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'O Canada' on electric guitar then tires squeal out and theme music begins to play. Smoke fills the archway, Kruzer bursts through from the gorilla position with energy, wearing a long coat over his ring attire and black wrap around shades with flames on the arms coming out of the lenses. Stands a at the top of the ramp, flashing his now trademark bullhorns as pyros explode behind him. He makes his way to the ring and steps to the second rope in all four corners of the ring flashing the bullhorns and hyping up the fans. 

Amy Schumer: Ladies and Gentlemen, It's time for tonight's opening contest. This match, is set for one fall. Introducing first. Residing In Las Vegas Nevada. Weighing in at 235 pounds. The Canadian Icon....KRUZER!

A lone spotlight picks out GBH as he makes his way to the ring he climbs onto the apron and wipes his feet before entering the ring proper.

Amy Schumer: and his opponent: also Residing in Las Vegas Nevada. Weighing i at 295 pounds. GBH!

Matt Stone: Wonder if those two are neighbors?

Trey Parker: Who knows Matt, who knows.

The ref signals for the bell and the match begins. As GBH gets in a grappling stance, Kruzer just smirks at him and does not seem intimidated. He cockily walks to the center of the ring and motions for GBH to follow. The two meet face to face in the center, and Kruzer spreads his arms wide, offering GBH a free hit.

Trey Parker: What's he thinking?

Matt Stone: He's confident enough to offer a free shot, that's what it looks like, doofus!

GBH looks around, unsure of what to do. Kruzer, with his arms still spread wide, just stands there in silence. Shrugging, GBH winds up for a Discus pinch. But Kruzer quickly ducks the move and gets off a swift kick in the gut on GBH. Kruzer throws a fury of rights and lefts, forcing GBH back to the ropes. GBH clings to the ropes for help as the ref forces himself between Kruzer and GBH, stopping Kruzer’s furious assault. Kruzer recognizes the rope break, but grabs GBH by the scruff of the hair and pulls him back to the center of the ring. 

Matt Stone: HA! Now we're getting started.

Trey Parker: Kruzer in control.

Back in the center, Kruzer hits GBH with a hard punch to the gut. GBH buckles over and clutches his stomach in pain. GBH slowly turns, his back now to Kruzer, his mind in a daze. Seeing an opportunity, Kruzer runs for the opposite side of the ring, using the ropes to springboard himself back to GBH, hitting him with a Double Axe Handle in the back of the skull that sends GBH to the mat. Kruzer begins to stomp on the body of GBH, playing to the crowd in-between every stomp. The crowd roars in disdain of Kruzer’s domination. 

Matt Stone: You'd think they cheer for a fellow Canadian, eh?

Trey Parker: Not if he's acting like a bastard.

Matt Stone: then these north of the border idiots can't see that he's a Canadian with some balls!

As Kruzer tries to lift GBH back onto his feet, GBH hits him with an open palm strike to the stomach that stops Kruzer in mid motion. GBH, back on his feet, gets off a few more open palm strikes before completing the move with a Dropkick that sends Kruzer back. Kruzer hits the ropes, which launches him back at GBH, who sees the chance and hits Kruzer with a Clothesline. 

Trey Parker: GBH Showing he can deliver just as much as he can take!

Matt Stone: Took him long enough.

As Kruzer gets onto all fours, GBH runs for him and hits a low Dropkick to the face. The crowd cheers as GBH begins taking control of the match. GBH motions to the crowd, lifting himself unto the second rope as he waves to the crowd. But Kruzer quickly recovers, getting GBH from behind with a Roll Up.

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GBH quickly kicks out and launches another Assault. But Kruzer is quicker with his lighter weight, as he kicks GBH in the stomach before GBH can attack. GBH catches Kruzer’s foot before it connects, but GBH does not see the other foot as Kruzer hits an Enzuiguri. Falling face first, Kruzer rolls GBH onto his back and does a back flip, hitting GBH with the Moonsault. GBH lies motionless on the ground as Kruzer climbs to the top turnbuckle, waiting for GBH to climb back to a vertical base.

Trey Parker: Kruzer looking for a big move.

Matt Stone: Please crash and burn.

Trey Parker: Why?

MattStone: It's so much more entertaining.

Kruzer motions for GBH to get up, which GBH is slowly doing. Wobbling back to his feet, GBH stumbles back and forth as he turns to face Kruzer on the turnbuckle. Kruzer launches himself into the air, attempting a Diving Crossbody. But at the last minute, GBH dodges the attack, letting gravity do the rest as Kruzer hits the mat belly first. Cheers of excitement can be heard from the crowd as this intense match rolls on. GBH covers.

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KICKOUT!

GBH Argues with the ref about that. Kruzer slowly crawls to the corner. GBH sees that, and grabs Kruzer, and turns him around, only to be poked in the eye. The crowd booes at that. Kruzer gets up just as GBH charges at him. Kruzer counters this with a drop toe hold onto the top corner. Kruzer then hits a really dazed GBH with the Kruze Control! Cover

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The Ref Rings the bell, as this match is over

Amy Schumer: Here is your winner. The 'Canadian Icon' KRUZER!

The ref raise's Kruzer's arm up in victory, as he smirks.

Trey Parker: What a way to kick off FSW!

Matt Stone: Two men who used any means to win...I like it.

Winner: Kruzer

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COMMERCIAL

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Video Package
Segment Writer: Candace St. Clair

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The video segment opened with the opening notes of David Guetta and Rihanna’s “Who’s That Chick?” and a camera shot zoomed towards a young woman in her early twenties. She was blonde but sported a lock of electric pink hair, with a fair but strong-featured face and an athletic, some would say muscular build. She wore wrestling gear; black and electric pink tights with a pink top, as well as a black jacket that looked as if it were one size too small for her, for her breasts seemed to spill out from inside.

Her name was Candace St. Clair. 

The camera panned sideways, focusing on Candace as she bent forwards and slowly blew a kiss towards it, with a seductive smile on her face.

“Some of you will speak well of me.”

The scene then shifted to footage of an independent wrestling show in a small venue, and the camera focused on the action in the ring; that of the same young woman in pink delivering a Straitjacket German Suplex to a man who looked almost twice her size, a rather impressive feat of strength. The scene shifted again to another match, where Candace held her opponent’s legs apart as she threaded one of her own in between them before turning the other woman over and into a painful looking Sharpshooter. Candace’s opponent looked as if she was about to tap out when the scene suddenly switched to yet another match, in which Candace grabbed her opponent from behind and lifted herself onto his shoulders before dropping him on his head with a reverse version of a Hurricanrana.

The scene returned to the close-up of Candace, who stood dead centre as she closed her eyes and threw her hair back before running her hands through it. A moment later, one of those hands slid its way down toward her chest, caressing one of her breasts while she looked at the camera with a seductive look in her eye. All of this was in slow motion.

“Some of you will speak ill of me.”

The scene then suddenly switched to another close-up, this time of Candace walking down the ramp at an independent show, clad in ring gear reminiscent of the Heartbreak Kid himself, white tights and a silver top and a white sleeveless jacket, red fingerless gloves on her hands and joined by a pair of studded wristbands. She looked at the camera over her round sunglasses and then blew it a kiss with a playful wink. The scene then shifted to Candace in the ring, clad in the same white gear as she ground her rear against her opponent’s crotch as he stood in the middle of the ring. Fast forward to another point in what seemed to be the same match and her male opponent was on his knees, receiving a deep passionate kiss from Candace, right before he received her foot in his face as she delivered to him a sick Low Superkick.

The scene returned once again to Candace, who stood with her back turned toward the camera. Slowly, she bent over with her eyes on the camera with that same look in her eye as before, her rear now the main focus of the camera shot. She ran her hand slowly up her thigh seductively before reaching the top and swiftly tapping herself on the rear.

“But the only thing that matters is that you speak of me.”

And again, the scene switched to some action in the ring, this time of Candace passionately kissing another woman on the lips before she wrapped her arms around her opponent’s waist and throwing her onto the mat with an Overhead Belly-to-Belly Suplex. And then, to another scene that shows Candace flirting with the referee, as if trying to convince him of overruling some decision she disagreed with. Eventually, she grew tired and promptly kneed him in the groin. 

“I am FSW’s new Patron Saint of Sexy.”
“I am the Canadian Heartbreaker.”
“And I…am here to rock your world.”

Then the scene returned to Candace, who stood in front of the camera with her hands on her hips. She gave the camera a wink.

“À bientôt,” she said with a bright smile, before she turned and walked away from the camera. The segment shifted from the camera shot to a static card that bore a black silhouette of a heart with an electric pink outline, flanked by two pink silhouettes of women with white outlines, drawn in seductive poses. Underneath this design, it said simply this

CANDACE ST. CLAIR
Coming Soon

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MATCH# TWO

SWAY Vs AIDEN HALL

Match Writer: James Duffman

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Matt Stone: Well Canada does at least have that hottie, so it's not as stupid as I had believed.

Mucho Mambo Sway begins to play and Sway makes her way out to the ramp. She shakes hands and high-fives all of the fans in the front rows. She then slides into the ring, walks over to the middle and spins then jumps in the air as fireworks shoot off from each turnbuckle


Amy Schumer: the following match is set for one fall. Introducing first. From New York City. SWAY!

The arena lights go off as the iconic strings of "Golden Brown" by the Stranglers plays over the PA. An Image of the Union Jack covers the screens as a single Spotlight is the only light focused on the entrance ramp. That is when Aiden Hall walks out. He has a cocky smirk on his face as he makes his way towards the ring wearing his Union Jack robe. He them leaps onto the canvas and wipes his feet and enters the ring.

Amy Schumer: and her opponent. From Liverpool England. Weighing in at 230 pounds. AIDEN HALL!

Aiden Hall quickly charges at Sway with the start of the match and goes for a big boot but Sway ducks. She instantly bounces off the ropes and takes him down with a flying crossbody. She then hooks his leg and attempts to end the match as quick as possible.

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KICKOUT!

Trey Parker: And a quick kickout by Aiden Hall.

Matt Stone: Sway trying to end this as she doesn't want Aiden's' size advantage to catch up.

Trey Parker: I honestly was expecting a comment about her finely shaped ass from you.

Mat Stone: You just said it for me.

As the commentary team share a brief chuckle, Both superstars get back to their feet and lock up in the middle of the ring. Aiden easily throws Sway back and she rolls on her back and right back to her feet. Only to be met by a hellacious clothesline. Her head bounces off the mat and Aiden lifts her back to her feet. He then plants her back down with a fisherman's suplex and holds it as it is his turn to go for the three count.


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KICKOUT!

Trey Parker: Sway manages to kick out!

Aiden gets to his knees as he looks at the ref like it should have been a three count.

Matt Stone: Don't Blame him. That was clearly a 3 count.

Trey Parker: What he should be doing, is PAYING ATTENTION!

Trey just points as Sway comes out of nowhere and plants Aiden in the side if the head with a vicious shining wizard as the crowd pops in excitement.

Matt Stone: Oh damn. He is going to feel that in the morning.

Sway doesn't stop there as she begins to unload with a bunch of various kicks all over Aiden body as he attempts to stumble to his feet. As he does Sway once again launches off the ropes this time attempting a moonsault but is caught in mid air.::

Trey Parker: This can not be good for Sway.

Matt Stone: I would kill to be Aiden Hall right now.

Aiden shows his strength as he struts around the ring with a squirming Sway in his arms, laughing as she tries to break free.

Trey Parker: Look at this asshole. Thinking he is a god carrying around a woman barely over a hundred pounds. I'd like to see him try it with someone his size.

With that being said Aiden throws Sway over his back and she slams to the mat below. He throws his hands up like he just did something no one has before. Sway crawls to the ropes and begins to drag herself up.

Matt Stone: Poor Sway. Being thrown around like a rag doll.

Trey Parker: Poor Sway? She has been holding her own against a man almost twice her size. She needs no pity here Trey. More like respect!

Aiden climbs the ropes as Sway jousts get to her feet. Before he knows it, she is back down as Aiden comes off the top turnbuckle and nails a double ax handle. Once again the man struts around like he is a god.

Trey Parker: Disgusting.

Matt Stone: Awesome.

Aiden grabs Sway by the back of the head and lifts her to her feet only to be met by a hard uppercut which sends Aiden back a few steps. Sway then bounce off the ropes and comes in flying with a high kick which sends Aiden to his ass on the mat below. Now Sway taunts Aiden to get back up as she stalks him like a vulture does it's prey. Aiden does so and Sway drills him with a running enziguri. Aiden goes face first to the mat and Sway covers him.


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Aiden rolls her over into a crucifix pin. Sway gets loose and rolls over. As they both pop up, Aiden looks for a big clothesline. Sway ducks it and runs to the ropes. She jumps up for a springboard and goes for a moonsault. Aiden moves and Sway lands on her feet. The crowd pops at her successful landing.

Matt Stone: Damn. What flexibility.

Trey Parker: Get your mind focused on the match.

Aiden hall goes for a clothesline, but Sway dodges, and with great effort after moving into perfect position, she hits the 1989. She goes for the cover.

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The ref rings the bell, as this match is over.

Amy Schumer: Here is your winner...SWAY!

Winner: Sway

Trey Parker: What en exciting match.

Matt Stone: I'm certainly excited.

Trey Parker: Damn, gotta deal with you all night, especially since we do have girl on girl action later.

Matt Stone: You can't honestly sit there and say that you're not looking forward to girl on girl action.

Trey Parker:....Yeah I am!

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COMMERCIAL

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MATCH# THREE

JAKOB MAYHEM Vs JEZZABEL

Match Writer: Jon "Gold" Wilder

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Amy Schumer: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first from Death Valley, standing in at 6’9” and weighing in at 320 lbs, he is JAKOB MAYHEM!

”Born In A Burial Gown” by Cradle of Filth starts playing as the fans begin booing. Jakob Haymen walks out coming through the curtains, surrounded by smoke, the robed figure with hood over his head, steps and pauses, slowly making his way to the ring.

Matt Stone: Now here's a man who does what he wants. Gotta give him credit for that.

Trey Parker: We'll see about that.

Amy Schumer: His opponent, from Las Vegas, Nevada, standing in at 6’ and weighing 155 lbs, she is JEZZABEL!

Hybrid of Kane & The Undertaker; Lights go dark in the arena and a red glow come up throughout. A bell tolls and 'Toccata & Fugue' by Birdie Wings, a Phoenix shriek is heard and as the first chord of the song plays the stage is engulfed in flames. As the flames dissipate, Jezzabel appears on the stage, seemingly out of thin air and stares down at the ring for a moment then makes her way down to the ring.

Trey Parker: Nice entrance.

Matt Stone: Fancy entrances can only do so much. Except in strip clubs, then they're always good

The referee checks both wrestlers out for weapons then calls for the bell. Jezz is the first one out swinging as she starts throwing punches at her opponent. Jakob takes the hits and leans into the ropes. Jezzabel Irish Whips him across the ring and goes for a Dropkick but Jakob holds onto the ropes and lets his opponent land on the ground.

He releases the ropes and comes out stomping on Jezzabel, she rolls to the ropes and uses them to stand up but Jakob delivers several kicks and knees into his opponent’s side. Ducking low, Jakob puts Jezzabel on his shoulders and hits a Fireman’s Carry into a Face Buster. Bounces off the ropes and drops several knees over his opponent’s face. The crowd boos him as he starts eye gouging her but before the referee gets to four, he stops and leans over her…



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Shoulder up by Jezzabel!

Trey Parker: Mayhem with the early advantage.

Matt Stone: He's showing why he dominates, especially the bitches.

Jakob pulls his opponent’s head up and fires several fists over her face. He stops punching as he pulls her up, tosses her into the ropes, she bounces back as Jakob bounces off the opposing ropes to hit a DDT. Locking his arms around Jezz’s neck, he locks in a sleeper hold. She fights back for several seconds and slowly starts lowering her arm as she slows down fighting.

The referee grabs her arm once and lets it drop then counts One… he does it again and once more it goes up and falls down, two… he lifts it up a third time as the crowd starts getting behind Jezzabel. When her arm falls, she manages to keep it up.

The crowd gets fired up as the crowd starts getting solidly behind her. The two stand up and Jezzabel tosses her elbow several times into her opponent’s gut and chest. Eventually he lets go, she hits a Headscissors Takedown and the two quickly get up. Infuriated, Jakob tries to attack his opponent but Jezzabel hits a Big Boot and knocks him down. She follows up with an Elbow Drop over his neck. Once more, Jezzabel picks up her opponent, whips him into the ropes and hits him with a Leaping Shoulder Block and goes for a cover…



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KICK OUT BY JAKOB MAYHEM!

Matt Stone: It will take more then a bitch to keep him down.

Trey Parker: It's still anyone's match to win at this point.


Jakob and Jezz get to their feet, with a quick eye rake; Jakob blinds his opponent and hits the Trainwreck. Grabbing her leg, Jakob goes for another pin…


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KICK OUT by Jezzabel!

Enraged, Jakob rolls out of the ring and searches under the ring and finds a Kendo Stick. He gets inside the ring and the referee tells him not to use the weapon. Jezzabel starts to stand up and the referee grabs the stick, but Jakob pushes the referee away with his leg and swings it over Jezzabel’s head. The crowd begins booing as Jakob smashes the kendo stick several times over his opponent. Eventually the referee grabs the stick and takes it off him. Angry that he couldn’t easily overcome his opponent, Jakob walks up angry up the ramp as the referee checks on Jezzabel.

Amy Schumer: As a result of a disqualification, here is your winner JEZZABEL!

Matt Stone: Well he just put that bitch in place.

Trey Parker: Using underhanded tactics like that shows that this man is an asshole.

Matt Stone: Is there anything wrong with that?

Trey Parker: HE'S AN...Oh nevermind.

WINNER BY DISQUALIFICATION: JEZZABEL

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COMMERCIAL

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MATCH# FOUR

LAURA MOLINARO Vs KIMMI SMALLS

Match Writer: Jon "Gold" Wilder

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Amy Schumer: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first from Bridgeport, Connecticut, standing 5’6” and weighing 130 lbs, she is LAURA MOLINARO!

”Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons plays on the PA System and the fans give her a mixed reaction. Laura Molinaro marches to the ring with a look of sheer determination on her face, occasionally performing some practice punches or loosening exercises. All business and does not take her eyes off her opponent to come through the entry.

Trey Parker: Two women in Laura Molinaro and Kimi smalls are about to collide, both with something to prove.

Matt Stone: I can't wait for this catfight!

The rhythmic opening beats of “That's Not My Name” begin to play as Kimi Smalls skips out onto the stage with a huge smile on her face as she waves at the crowd.

Amy Schumer: Coming to you from Sleepy Hollow, New York, standing 5’8” and weighing in at 120 lbs, this… is… KIMI SMALLS!

The smile never leaves Kimi's face as she makes her way to the ring, high fiving fans all of the way down before walking up the steps and wiping her feet off before entering the ring.

Matt Stone: The anticipation alone has made he so damn hard!

Trey Parker: Keep it in your pants Matt.

The bell rings and Kimi Smalls run out swinging first with some overhead punches. Laura backs up into the ropes. The ref pulls Kimi off and Laura runs at her opponent but she gets Dropkicked for her attack. Getting back up, Kimi runs over and hits another Dropkick on her opponent’s chest and flattens her.

Grabbing her opponent’s hair, Kimi pulls Laura onto her feet, throws her at the ropes, Molinaro bounces off and is hit with a Sidewalk Slam in the center of the ring. Kimi tries to end this early…



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Shoulder up by Laura Molinaro.

Matt Stone: This is some great girl on girl action.

Trey Parker: Folks I apologize for Matt's behavior. That being said, I agree.

The two get up and Laura throws her leg into her opponent’s gut. Kimi doubles over and is hit with an Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex. Laura stays low, gets on top of Kimi and starts firing fists over her face. After several punches, Laura pulls up her opponent by her hair and shoulder, throws her into the ropes and hits a Clothesline and follows up with an Elbow Drop across her opponent’s chest.

Laura drags her wrist across her opponent’s eyes, causing Kimi to kick and stomp around the ring. She lets go after a few seconds, pulls her opponent up and hits a Scoop Slam. She then bounces off the ropes and hits a Leg Drop on her opponent and goes for a pin…



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Shoulder up by Kimi Smalls!

Trey Parker: Great effort by Kimi Smalls

Matt Stone: There's nothing small about that figure. It's perfect!

Laura pulls her opponent up to her feet and into a vertical base, Kimi drivers her knee into her opponent’s gut. Then hits a Snap DDT on Laura, getting some steam behind her, Kimi climbs the turnbuckle and hits a Moonsault on her opponent. She doesn’t go for a pin; instead she pulls her opponent up, Laura fights back hitting a knife edge chop against her opponent’s chest but Kimi pushes through and hits a Snap Suplex, then springs up and taunts the crowd.

The go wild as she taunts Laura, allows her to stand up and hits the Losing Heads. Pained, Laura tries to head to the ropes but as she grabs the ropes, Kimi hits a punch over her opponent’s head, pulls her back from the ropes and hits The New Legend! The crowd goes berserk as Kimi then goes up the turnbuckle and hits a Frog Splash. Laura rolls towards the ropes and as Kimi leans over and covers her opponent, Laura puts her leg on the ropes but the referee doesn’t see it!!



1.
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3!!!



The bell rings as “That’s Not My Name” hits the pa system. Angrily, Laura gets up and tries to attack Kimi but she escapes in time. Laura starts arguing with the referee about her leg being on the ropes. The music continues to play.

Amy Schumer: Here is your winner by pin fall, KIMI SMALLS!

WINNER BY PIN FALL: KIMI SMALLS

Matt Stone: Aww man, it's over already?

Trey Parker: Don't twist your dick up over this. You'll get more chances to enjoy the females athletic ability another time Matt.

---

COMMERCIAL

---

[PARAMOUNT]

---

BACKSTAGE
Writer: Racin' Tyme

---

Eric Compton: Ladies and gentlemen I would like to welcome you to the first ever FSW show coming to you live from London Ontario and you will see many new faces here tonight but right now I would like to introduce the first tag team to the FSW. They are…..DJR? and Spotter?


Confused, Eric looks off to the right.


Eric Compton Did I read that right?

Eric gets confirmation.

Eric Compton :Okay then. DJR and Spotter. They make up Racing Time.


DJR walks in front the right and front the left is Spotter. They are in matching driver suits and matching white wrestling masks. Spotter seem enamored with Eric.


DJR: Eric….Eric….first off I have to correct you.

Eric Compton: Correct me? I doubt that.


DJR: It’s Racin’ Tyme!


Eric Compton: Time.

DJR: Tyme.

Eric Compton: Time.

Spotter holds his hand up and can’t take his eyes off of Eric.



Spotter: It’s okay DJR. If Eric wants to say Racing Time then he can.

DJR: Well I don’t like it and I can already tell he’s a Lugnutter!


Eric Compton: I’m a what?

DJR: Lugnutter and I just don’t plain like you.


Spotter: Let’s not be rash D. We don’t know Eric here, I’d like to know him better but this is our first appearance in the FSW.


Spotter turns and faces the camera.



Eric Compton: Yes it is and for starters, how about you two tell the people watching this about you two.


DJR is like 2 steps away from Eric and crosses his arms. Spotter meanwhile is next to Eric. Eric looks at him like what is this guys problem. Spotter goes to put his arm around Eric, which Eric pushes away.



Spotter: I am Spotter and this here is my tag team partner DJR. Short on letters but big on moves in the ring. Together we make up the greatest tag team in professional wrestling today. The most exciting, the fastest, hardest hitting and…”


Spotter glances at Eric.


Spotter: Lovable tag team you will ever feast your eyes on! We are Racin’ Tyme! We’re here for one thing and one thing only….


Again Spotter glances at Eric.


Spotter: Maybe two now, and that is to jump start the tag division in the FSW! To prove our worth, to beat every competitor that thinks they can beat Racin’ Tyme and who knows, maybe go on and win the FSW Tag Team titles if they ever come to light.


DJR: Be it FSW, EWC, Da point is, We’re da team to beat! We’re the benchmark when it comes to tag team wrestling! We’re here fer only one thing and one thing only!


Spotter: And that is to be the best in tag team wrestling! We’re not here for any singles titles. We’re not here to settle any beef we might have with anyone. It’s tag titles or bust.




DJR: And you’re either with us! Be a member of da Sparkpluggers! Or you’re against us!


DJR looks at Eric, his arms still crossed..



DJR: Because you don’t ever want to be a Lugnutter. Lugnutters are da worst, most despicable people dat walk along the face of earth. If we see a Lugnutter…


DJR again looks at Eric.



DJR: We will wreck ya! We will lap ya! We will spin ya out and make ya go head first into da wall and we won’t apologize fer it either! In case you didn’t get da message….We can’t stand Lugnutters.


Spotter: And trust me, if you’re a lugnutter….you won’t like us...at all and that…


Spotter looks at Eric.


Spotter: It’ll be a real shame if you were against us.


DJR snatches the mic away from Eric. Eric doesn’t like that.


DJR: Da only thing you need to know, is dat it’s time!


Spotter places his hand on Eric chest for a second before joining DJR in front of the camera, putting his arm around his tag team partner.


Spotter: Sweet baby jesus it’s tyme!

DJR and Spotter: IT’S RACIN’ TYME!!!”

DJR storms off and Spotter holds the mic out for Eric.



Spotter: Here you go. No hard feelings I hope and I...really hope you come around. You’d make a fantastic Sparkplugger.


Eric takes the mic and shakes his head and can’t believe what just happened.

---

Match#5

Mayeux Vs The Parker Van Peters

Match Writer: James Duffman
Segment Writer: Double M

---

A shot of the crowd is seen from the hard camera. They cheering, happy faces quickly turn to scowling, booing masses as “Princes of the Universe” hits and out walks none of than THE Parker Van Peters. He is in his ring gear, microphone in hand, and sporting the ever popular “PVP FTW” t-shirt, available for sale right now. He walks slowly to the ring, taking in the crowd as they boo him. A couple of fans actually reach out their hands, and PVP simply ignores them. He climbs the ring steps, wipes his feet on the ring apron, and enters the ring.


Amy Schumer: The Following Contest, is set for one fall. Introducing first. From Nashville Tenessee. Weighing in at a chiseled
222 and 3/4 pounds. THE Parker Van Peters!

PVP lifts micophone to start speaking, the crowd boos louder



PVP: I can wait…

Crowd gets louder as PVP waits

PVP: Boo all you want….you PAID to see me…..My name….is THE Parker Van Peters….

Crowd: WHO?

PVP: Yes…you have heard of me. I am not going to waste my time telling all you people all the amazing things I have accomplished in my illustrious career. You know about me. I know about me. EVERYONE knows about me! I am THE Main Man….THE Dynasty….and we all know I am THE only reason to watch this crappy, stupid, excuse for a wrestling show here on Future Stars of Wrestling.

I find it sad and in poor taste that an incredible and amazing talent like Myself is force to resign himself to entertaining people like you….on a show like this….against people like Mayeux and Kimi Smalls and Marcus Slater….sad, pathetic so-called wrestlers on this sad, pathetic so-called wrestling show.

We all know….I know, you know….President Mac, heck even president Obama knows that the only reason…..THE ONLY reason to turn into this C-List show form this B-Tier wrestling federations is to see THE A-List Talent that is THE Parker Van Peters!

Crowd: WHO?

PVP: (sighing) Do your cute little chants….

Crowd: YOU CANT WRESTLE!!!!

PVP: Cheer for your so-called heroes…..but know full well that the ONLY thing that will keep this show afloat is The Main Man….THE Parker Van Peters. I will dominate here in EWC just like I have dominated every single place I have been in the past and just like I will continue to dominate and conquer ever single pace I go. You will all be a part of history as you see the start of the Dynasty of THE Parker Van Peters. So now….the fat lady in the front row can tell one of her three children by three different men about how she got to see Blessed Perfection, and while she is out cashing her Monthly Disability check for diabetes or obesity or whatever, she can rest easy that night knowing that one day….her kid, even though we don't know who the father is…can make climb out of the trailer park…and maybe, just maybe….if the child works hard and does well enough in school…

That child can valet my car….because THAT would be the closest any of you pathetic people get to being near me is to SERVE me and do MY bidding.

PVP drops his mic and takes his shirt, off, as he awaits his opponent.



Matt Stone: Well he's sure of himself.



Trey Parker: Let's see if he can back those words up.



 "Hurricane" By Ms Mr hits the airwaves as the stage fill's up with fog. Mayeux walks out with his traditional towel out through the Smokey stage and poses to the crowd. As the chorus of the song kicks in, Mayeux walks towards the ring then hops onto the apron then wipes his feet on the apron before getting into the ring. Mayeux tosses his towel out to the crowd when the music fades.


Amy Schumer: And his opponent. From capeTown south Africa. Weighing in at 280 pounds. MAYEUX!



Matt Stone: You know, I would have thought somebody from South Africa would have been all bones.



Trey Parker: Really Matt?



Matt Stone: What, it's the truth, ain't it?



The ref rings the bell. Mayeux and PVP immediately grapple in center ring. PVP wins the test of strength, positioning Mayeux for a DDT. Two stiff punches from Mayeux to PVP’s ribcage forces him to release Mayeux. Again, they grapple in the center ring and this time Mayeux gets the upper hand, catching PVP into a headlock. Using his slightly larger size to his advantage PVP forces himself free via shoving Mayeux into the ropes. Mayeux bounces off and goes for a jumping Lariat only to have Thunder duck underneath. Mayeux lands on his feet and both competitors stare at each from across the ring. Outside the crowd starts to get to its feet thanks to the impressive display of technical prowess from both men.

Trey Parker: Great action between these two.



Matt Stone: PVP's naturally looking the best of the two.

Slowly, they both approach each other and yet again commence to grapple in center ring. Mayeux maneuvers behind PVP and tries to lock in The Mercy Seat, but it’s a trap! PVP pitches Mayeux down with a snapmare. He tries to follow it up with a quick sleeper hold, but Mayeux instantly pulls free and pops to his feet, delivering an European Uppercut to a surprised PVP. Trying to follow up, Mayeux charges PVP only to find himself slung across the ring with an Arm Drag. This time, PVP tries to take advantage. He lurches forward to Mayeux who’s still rising back to his feet. Grabbing Mayeux, PVP locks him into a DDT position again. Mayeux fights to keep his head from getting slammed to the mat. PVP tries to regain control, but finds himself lifted into the air and dropped back down as Mayeux pulls a Kneebreaker out of nowhere.

Wincing in pain, he instinctively limps away from Mayeux, but not quick enough! Mayeux follows up, landing a dropkick on PVP’s knee and sending him to a kneeling position. Going with the momentum, Mayeux finishes the combo off with a Spinning Neckbreaker. Mayeux covers!

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KICKOUT!


Trey Parker: Mayeux with the upper hand!



Matt Stone: That's not going to matter in the end
.

Wasting little time, Mayeux gets back to his feet and pulls PVP up with him, including a sharp knee right into Mayeux’s gut, followed by a Snap Suplex from PVP, who floats over for the cover!


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KICKOUT!



PVP stands back, stalking Mayeux from behind as he works his way back to a standing position. Diving forward, he chop blocks Mayeux’s legs out from underneath him. PVP grabs hold of one leg and signals for a Figure Four! He spins around to try and lock it in, but meets a boot to the buttocks from Mayeux that sends him toppling forwards, through the ropes, and down to the mat below! Throwing his arms up like an unholy pterodactyl, Mayeux runs forward, catapulting himself over the top rope in an attemptto hit a Flying Cross Body on PVP, but PVP dodges!



Matt Stone: THE FAT MAN CRASHED AND BURNED! THAT WAS F$%^EN EPIC!



PVP smirks, and he picks up the body of Mayeux, and tosses him into the ring. He quickly follows. PVP waits patiently as Mayeux gets up. PVP runs, and hits a devastating Dynasty Crusher. PVP covers.



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3!



The Ref rings the bell, as this match is over.



Amy Schumer: Here is your Winner. THE Parker Van Peters.

Winner: The Parker Van Peters

Trey Parker: PVP wins with the Dynasty Crusher



Matt Stone: You mean #DynastyCrusher!



Trey Parker: This is a match going on, not Twitter.



Matt Stone: Will be said like that on Twitter., which counts for everything.


Trey Parker: Ugh. You can say it all you want, but I will not say 'Hashtag' Dynasty Crusher, because it makes no sense to actually say it.



Matt Stone: Why not?



Trey Parker: Waste of time. Keep that stuff on Twitter.

---

BACKSTAGE
Writer: James Duffman

---

Backstage, we see Kruzer and Jezzabel talking and flirting, both very satisfied with the outcome of their matches. That's when they bump into Racin' Tyme. DJR looks at them, unimpressed.



Kruzer: Can we help you dolts?



DJR: Yeh. You can get out of my way, Lugnuts.



Kruzer: Oh. Calling me a Lugnut? Do you even know what a Lugnut is?



Spotter: Now now guys. We don't needto fight.



Jezzabel: Trying to run away, pussy?


Spotter: Excuse me?



Jezzabel: You heard me.



The tension was in the air, as the first teams of FSW were essentially sizing each other. up. That's when James Duffman walked in.



James Duffman: Does there seem to be a problem here?



Kruzer: Yeah. These...Lugnuts here...need to be put in place.



That comment sent DJR over, as he tried to lunge at Kruzer. But Spooter held him back, and James Duffman sighed, taking a drink.



James Duffman: Okay. So the only way Duffman sees this issue being resolved in a half decent manner, is if you two teams fight. So next show, that's exactly what's happening.



The entire crowd popped. The two teams smirks, liking the idea. But that didn't stop any tension.



James Duffman: In fact, Duffman says he's got one better. Next week's Main event will pit the Nascar speed tag team of Racin Tyme, against You two, Kruzerand Jezzabel...in a Table Match!



The crowd pops massively at that. Everyone agrees with the idea.



James Duffman: Now Duffman don't want to see ya four touching each other in any way, until then. Otherwise you're all taken out of the championship tournament. No exceptions.



The four glare at Duffman, who only smirks, and takes another shot. The four sigh, and nod.



Kruzer: Well, see you dips#$^s later.



Kruzer and Jezzabel leave, before a fight cold break out.

---

COMMERCIAL

---

[PARAMOUNT]

---

BACKSTAGE
Writer: Jason Anderson The Boss

---

As we return from commercial, Petrified-Fort Minor came blasting over the speakers. On the top of the ramp pushing the curtains back wearing a black hood over his head and jeans with. He start to clap to the music out towards the crowd to get them into it.

Yall are not, not, not Ready HO  

Not not ready HO  

We're gonna drop it steady so  

Do it like that  

Like that (like that)....  

He jump up and down on his feet getting the crowd into it.

Now why is everybody so petrified?  

WHAT?  

Petrified?  

WHAT?  

Step aside.  

And just drop that...  

COME ON!  

Drop that...  

COME ON!  

Drop that...  

COME ON!  

Drop that...  

COME ON! [x2]  

He walk down the ramp moving his head to the music.  

Yeah  

How you doin’, y’all?  

My name is Mike.  

I’m fooling with the new shit  

I'm doing it all night  

I like what i do  

I do what i like  

I could quit and get it back like i’m riding a bike  

Like stop...  

...bring it back, bring it back  

He stops as he took a step back and then take one forward.

We got that balance keeping us on track  

That ya get what ya move and quit, wit no slow  

You stare like you don’t care  

But you do it though  

He climb up the stairs as he climb up to the top of the rope with his hood still over his head and pop it over like AJ styles with his arms out towards the crowd. He grins out towards the crowd taking it all in as he climb down. The music slowly fades out as he jump off the top rope taking off his hood. On the back of his hood there a cartoon version of him on his back. He pull the microphone out of his pockets looking around.









Hunter: I know many of your guys don’t know my name just yet but your all will know my name soon or later. Right now i am still on the injury list. I am not out here to make any excuses or anything. I am out because I felt it didn’t feel right while everyone else on the roster is coming out placing on some great matches. That I should come out here and let the fans know a little about me.








He grins.





Hunter: I am a young man who was born from two people who are very different in many ways but they both have one thing in common. That one thing in common is this business! They will die for this business and they both will live for it! . I will eat and breathe this business just like them. It was part of my dna.





He smirks.





Hunter: I was in an accident a month back and they told me I wouldn’t be walking ever again but look at who standing right in front of you right now. I didn’t let can’t be apart of my vocabulary. It a word that isn’t in a true wrestler of heart! It a word that will never leave our lips. It a word I didn’t let it stop me to be where I should be which is in front of all of your guys.





He looks around a bit as he point towards the back.





Hunter: FSW once I get clear to step inside of this ring to show you just what I got what it takes. You will never know what will be coming at you. You have a man that is the son of the person who is the destroyer of worlds. You have a man that is the son of the person who just love the fans to death and love to make it pour out blood in the ring for them! I am not going to ask your guys are you ready just like a certain person will ask you. I am not going to come out here and tell you your world is about to be destroyed like someone else would tell you. I am going to tell you right now. Hunter.....is coming.





He pull his hood back over his head as he glares towards the back.





Hunter: Hunter is ready to steal the damn show!





Hunter smirks as Petrified-Fort Minor came on over the speakers. He just smirks playing to the crowd a bit more before walking out of the ring.

---

MATCH# SIX

YORK CHAMPSON Vs DRAKE ALEXI

Match Writer: James Duffman

---

The lights in the arena dime to a reddish tint. As they do 'Boss of me' by They Might Be Giants hits the P.A. system. After the first verse plays the chorus hits and as it does York Champson runs out from the back. He head bangs to the music as he walks down the ramp . He acknowledges a couple of fans by throwing up a rock and roll hand gesture to them. York circles the ring and then slides in walking to the nearest corner. Standing on the second rope, he head bangs until his music fades out completely.

Amy Schumer: The Following match is set for one fall. Introducing First. From Cosa Mesa California. Weighing in at 208 pounds. YORK CHAMPSON!

"Ooh~ Yea-ea-eah, I'm Everywhere." Those words fade into the P.A. System softly, as many of the arena lights shift focus into green. The song "I'm Everywhere" by Teknoaxe starts off mid-way into the beginning verse immediately after the words are spoken. The softcore feature of the dub step rings through the crowd for a good 25 seconds before the tone blasts up a bit, and we see the "Unstable" Drake Alexi walk onto the stage.

He receives a mix of crowd reactions, sailing through from unstoppable cheers, to the skin-pealing boos. Though he simply chooses to ignore them all as he walks down the ramp, staring straight at the ring ahead, and letting his right hand shake stroke-like.

At the bottom of the ramp he stops, allowing his head to turn and stare toward front-seat fans. A devilish smirk forms on his face as he turns away, and runs forward, sliding into the ring and hopping up to his feet in the center. He takes a moment to breath before walking toward a turnbuckle, walking toward and hopping on top of it, as he throws his arms into the air, and screams loudly!

Amy Schumer: And his opponent. From San Antonio Texas. Weighing in at 237 pounds. 'Unstable' Drake Alexi!

Trey Parker: And in our penultimate match of the night, we see the not-so-successful ones from the Night of Champions free show, squaring off. Both men will certainly have something to prove.

Matt Stone: I'd wish you and the rest of the F$%^en world would take off their politically correct filters. Those men were losers, plain and simple.

The referee calls for the bell. The two men meet in the middle, locking up. Drake pulls York into headlock, but York shoots him off, dropping down to the mat as Drake bounces back. York gets back up, bending over for a back body drop, but Drake sees it coming stops himself. He nails York with a dropkick, sending him to the mat.

Trey Parker: And this match is off to an explosive start.

Matt Stone: And for their sake, let's hope it's not as quick as an actual explosion.

York picks himself back up, but Drake is ready with a kick to the midsection and pulls him into On the Hunt, trying to end the match early, but York manages to block it and push Drake off. Trying to fight back, York throws out a series of shin kicks to Drake, and then follows with a punch combination, spinning around and knocking Drake to the mat with a right hook.

Trey Parker: York has the advantage.

Matt Stone: All rage he has from his loss from Night of Champions.

Getting to his feet, Drake is caught by York and gets shot into the ropes. As he bounces back, York catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex, hoisting him up into the air and letting him drop down hard. Quickly getting back to his feet, York tries to seize the opportunity and runs to the ropes, goes for a springboard moonsault. And the crowd pops at the risky move, but at the last moment, Drake manages to roll out of the way. York hits the mat. Drake picks himself back up and shoots the ropes, nailing York with a dropkick as he gets to his feet and knocks him back down.

Trey Parker: Drake on the attack.

Matt Stone: He saw an opening and took it.

Quickly moving into position, Drake catches York and takes him down with a bulldog, then kicks York onto his back and connects with a standing moonsault. He pushes York down on his back and goes for the first pin of the match.

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2
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KICKOUT!

Drake looks at the referee, looking a bit surprised he didn’t get the three there. Getting back to his feet, Drake starts to pull York off the mat, but York fights back, throwing a few punches. He attempts to shoot Drake into the corner, but Drake manages to reverse it, sending York into the corner. However, York manages to use the momentum to scale the turnbuckle and connect with a flying clothesline, knocking Drake down. York quickly goes for a cover.


1
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2
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KICKOUT!

York seems a bit surprised that Drake kicked out, but quickly refocuses and climbs the turnbuckle. He claps his hands together and gestures for Drake, who is starting to get up, to get to his feet. York leaps off the top rope for a missile dropkick. Drake manages to sidestep and locks in the figure four leglock.

Trey Parker: Crash and burn for York Champson.

Matt Stone: Mcuh as I love a crash and burn, York sucks on executing those high risk moves.

York tries to endure the hold, pounding the mat, and not let his shoulder touch the mat. Struggling and fighting, York manages to turn himself and Drake over. Drake has no choice left but to break the hold. The two manage to get themselves up, trying to regain the feeling in their knees.

Trey Parker: This match has certainly taken alot out of themselves.

Matt Stone: But at least everyone has been greatly entertained.

Trey Parker: Amen to that.

The two men move towards each other. York throws a combination of punches at Drake. York shoots Drake into the ropes, but Drake reverses and dropkicks York through the ropes to the outside.

Matt Stone: About to get a little close for comfort here.

Following him out, Drake steps out on to the apron and catches York with a hurricaranna, taking him down on to the mat. Grabbing York, Drake rolls him into the ring. York manages to get to his feet. Drake slides in, getting caught with an enziguri from York. He staggers back and lands, slumped over the second rope. Drake gets his bearings, only to be hit with a devastating Anti-Matter. York with the cover

1
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2
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3!

The ref rings the bell, as this match is over.

Amy Schumer: Ladies And Gentlemen. Your winner....YORK CHAMPSON!

Winner: York Champson

Trey Parker: Hard and fast paced contest there.

Matt Stone: That's average speed for me, if ya know what I'm saying.

Trey Parker: Not the last I heard.

Matt Stone: F$%^ you Trey!

Trey Parker: Not from you, thank you very much. Either way, this night has proven that the Future Stars of Wrestling have a very Bright future ahead.

Matt Stone: Little doubt about that, and to think we STILL have yet to get to our main event.

Trey Parker: That's right folks, coming up right after this commercial break, we have the winners from the EWC Night of champions 13 free show, Marcus 'Lonestar' Slater going up against James Dawes.

---

COMMERCIAL

---

[PARAMOUNT]

---

JAMES DAWES

VS

MARCUS "LONESTAR" SLATER

Match Writer: James Duffman

---

As we come back from our last commercial break, O Fortuna begins to play as the lights go out. Out from the back walks a man, his face masked by his hoodie. The gold lights shine bright on him as he pours the fabric back, revealing James Dawes. He walks down to the ring as the women chorus above him; "Sors salutis, et virtutis, michi nunc contraria". The drums strike, Dawes takes one final look to the heavens and slides into the ring, getting up and looking at the crowd. He smirks, and removes his sweater.

Amy Schumer: Ladies and gentlemen. It's time for tonight's main event. This contest, is set for one fall. Introducing first. From Toronto Canada. Weighing in at 210 pounds. JAMES DAWES!

Trey Parker: Big reaction from the hometown fighter.

Matt Stone: He's from Toronto...But yeah, close enough.

The instantly-recognisable opening riff from “Highway To Hell” blares over the arena, causing all eyes to migrate to the entrance. As the drum beat kicks in, the towering form of Marcus Slater steps into view, hands on his hips, the arena reflected in the red lenses of his Oakley’s as he gives a casual half-smirk down towards the ring. He nods to himself and starts walking towards the ring as Bon Scott’s harsh bark comes in with the verse. He gets to the ring about the time that last chord before the chorus rings out and jumps from the floor to the apron. He turns around, holding his hands together to display the Texas State Flag formed in the palms of his gloves. Then he bolts for the closest turnbuckle and climbs it, holding one fist in the air to a reaction from the fans. After the chorus the song fades out. Marcus takes off his sunglasses and hands them to the ringside attendant, then he takes off his t-shirt and chucks it into the crowd. After that he hops over the ropes and lands in his corner settling in before the bell.

Amy Schumer: Introducing next. From Houston Texas. Weighing in at 285 pounds. Marcus 'Lonestar' Slater!

The ref signals for the bell. Both men lock up in the middle of the ring. Dawes twists Marcus's arms around until they overlap one another, then kicks him in the stomach, causing him to release his grip on Dawes. Dawes then runs at Lonestar with a roundhouse kick to the head, knocking Marcus down. Dawes kicks at Marcus's ribs hard, hen picks him up with his arm. Dawes then pulls Lonestar into the turnbuckles, and Marcus goes face first into them.

Matt Stone: The bar has been set high tonight, so for these guys sake, they better match or raise it.

Trey Parker: Smartest thing you've said all night.

Dawes charges at Marcus, aiming to dropkick his back, but Marcus pivots out of the way, and Dawes's fee end up hitting the middle turnbuckle. As Dawes lands hard onto the canvas, Marcus takes this moment by jumping up and stomping down onto Dawes's stomach. Dawes's upper body pops up, his eyes wide open from the impact.

Trey Parker: Wow. That had tohurt.

Matt Stone: No S#$% Sherlock

Marcus follows up with a legdrop, and goes to pin.

1
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2
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KICKOUT!

Marcus picks Dawes up to his feet and grabs his head, butting the two together. Dawes stumbles back as he grabs his head, then Marcus runs at him, taking him back to the mat with a clothesline. Marcus runs to the ropes next, bouncing back with another leg drop. Marcus covers once more.

1
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2
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KICKOUT!

Trey Parker: What resiliancy by James Dawes.

Matt Stone: Legdrops are not as effective as Hogan made them look.

Marcus picks Dawes up to his feet and goes to whip him into the ropes, but Dawes counters the whip and pulls Marcus into him, taking him down with a clothesline of his own.

Trey Parker: James Dawes on the attack!

Matt Stone: About freaken time!

Dawes sits Marcus up, and locks him into a headlock, punching at his forehead repeatedly. Lonestar counters with a few elbow strikes to Dawes's leg, which eventually makes him unlock the hold to grab his leg. Marcus quickly gets to his feet, and gives a hard elbow to Dawes's head, knocking him right back to the ground!

Matt Stone: His head will be ringing after that blow.

Trey Parker: Indeed.

Marcus turns Dawes onto his stomach and grabs his arms, and then wraps his legs around Dawes's, until he has him in a Mexican Surfboard. Marcus slowly falss back, holding Dawes in the air as he tightens the maneuver. The ref asks Dawes if he wants to quit, Dawes shakes his head no. Marcus keeps the hold in, until-

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Marcus quickly gets up and lets go of Dawes.

Trey Parker: What's he thinking?

Matt Stone: Maybe he knows it's not going to be enough?

Trey Parker: That...sort of makes sense.

Marcus gets back up to his feet, then goes to the ropes, bouncing back and going for a running splash...Dawes rolls out of the way! Marcus eats canvas, and grabs his nose in pain. Dawes grabs Marcus's arm and puts him ino a seated position, then runs to the ropes in front of Marcus, bouncing off and PUNTS him in the chest! As Marcus falls back to the floor, Dawes covers Marcus quickly.

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KICKOUT!

Trey Parker: That punt was uncalled for!

Matt Stone: But it was effective, and that's what counts.

Dawes grabs Marcus's legs, looking to tie up a Texas Cloverleaf, but Marcus shakes his legs to get Dawes off of him. Once it looks like Dawes has a good grip, Marcus hops around, trying to bring his upper body to Dawes's face, and eventually grabs Dawes's head, and drops him down into a modified DDT!

Trey Parker: Both men are clearly giving their all.

Matt Stone: I'm glad they have at least matched the bar.

Marcus gets to his feet, holding his arms out with a smile as the crowd boos him. Marcus then raises a thumbs up, and then picks James back up. He picks Dawes up over his head for a vertical suplex, but Dawes falls out behind Marcus, then places him into a Full Nelson. Dawes picks Marcus up from here, and drops him with a Dragon Suplex!

Trey Parker: Sweet Dragon Suplex.

Matt Stone: I wonder why there is a set of 'Dragon' moves. You'll have to look into that.

Dawes grabs Marcus’s legs again, this time, locking them into a Figure Four. Marcus struggles to the ropes while in this hold, eventually an inch within their reach…but Dawes forces Marcus back to the middle of the ring, and the crowd goes crazy for him! Marcus’s pulling on his hair, trying to escape.

Trey Parker: James Dawes with the figure four!

Matt Stone: Smart move, trying to take out opponents legs.

With pure willpower alone,Marcus seems to inch closer and closer to the ropes, dragging Dawes with him…and he gets the rope! The ref counts till two before Dawes lets go. Dawes picks Marcus up again, and then takes him down once more with a Butterfly DDT!

Dawes goes for a cover.

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KICKOUT!

Dawes holds his face as he looks at Lonestar, then picks him up for a northern lights suplex…Marcus lands on his feet behind him! Marcus grabs Dawes’s head and goes for the turnbuckle, ready to hit the Fallaway Slam…Dawes fights him off! Marcus stumbles for a second, only to be hit with open hand strikes from Dawes! And Marcus is actually hit hard enough to bring him to the ground!

Trey Parker: What strength by James Dawes.

Matt Stone: DAMN!

Dawes goes to cover.

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KICKOUT!

Frustrated, Dawes lifts Marcus up again and into a vertical suplex position, and carries him over to the nearest corner…until Marcus slips out behind Dawes, and dropkicks him into the corner. Marcus drops him down to the canvas with a Reverse DDT! Marcus then applies the Clean Slate! Marcus has the submission hold in tight. Dawes is trying to fight it off as best he can. Aftera minute though, he taps out.

Amy Schumer: Here is your winner, by Submission.....Marcus 'Lonestar' SLATER!

Winner By Submission: Marcus 'Lonestar' Slater. 

Trey Parker: What a main event.

Matt Stone: No kidding. And to be honest, what a show.

Trey Parker: That anticipation for the next show I hear?

Matt Stone: Loud and clear.

Trey Parker: Awesome, because I am also looking forward to every show we do for this.

Matt Stone: yeah, especially next week's main event.

Trey Parker: Indeed. But that's all the time we have for now. I'm trey Parker, with Matt Stone, and I'm proud to say, the Future is Now!

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SEE YOU NEXT TIME IN

© THE FUTURE STARS OF WRESTLING 2015

QUICK RESULTS RECAP

KRUZER DEFEATED GBH
SWAY DEFEATED AIDEN HALL
JEZZABEL DEFEATED JAKOB MAYHEM VIA DQ
KIMI SMALLS DEFEATED LAURA MOLINARO
THE PARKER VAN PETERS DEFEATED MAYEUX
YORK CHAMPSON/DRAKE ALEXI DEFEATED DRAKE ALEXI/YORK CHAMPSON
MARCUS "LONESTAR" SLATER DEFEATED JAMES DAWES VIA SUBMISSION

[PARAMOUNT]

End Credits:

Match Writers:

James Duffman

Jon Goldberg

Segment Writers:

James Duffman

PVP

Hunter

Ruthless Aggression

Racin Tyme

Candace St Clair