Post by Mr Mayhem on Nov 9, 2015 8:25:30 GMT -6
The camera begins rolling on what appears to be the inside of a carnival tent. It is lit up inside by two bright lights, which shine down onto a stage. They form a circle of light towards the front of the stage. No one appears to be standing in the spotlight, but as the camera zooms in, it becomes apparent someone is standing behind the light.
"HEY GENIUS, WRONG SPOT"
The lights suddenly jerk, and move a few paces backward. This illuminates the figure of Mr Mayhem. He is wearing a purple suit with a green tie, and his face is covered in his normal makeup: white all over with big red lines extending past where his lips end, and black eyes. His hair shoots straight up, and is coloured a bright green. His hands are resting on his hips, and he does not look pleased.
"Come on, that was my big entrance! I told you count 3,2,1, and when the lights turn on I’m there doing this cool pose and…ugh, whatever.”
Mr Mayhem jerks around animatedly as he talks, but then slumps his shoulders and shakes his head when he finishes. For a second he stays looking at the ground, but then his head jerks up, and he stares straight down the lens of the camera.
“Anywayyyy, welcome, welcome, how’s everyone doing out there tonight?!”
Mr Mayhem leans forward and does the Hulk Hogan ear lean. The silence, as they say, is deafening.
“Oh, what? Nuthin? Zero? Zilch? Huh, tough crowd…”
He leans his head back and lets out a maniacal laugh.
“Aha, hee! Sorry sometimes I crack myself up. Well I spose I should get right down to the nitty-gritty huh! My
name is Mr Mayhem and I’m new in this shindig, what was it called again? Oh yeah! ECW!”
Mr Mayhem grins, but then a look of confusion spreads across his face.
“…Waittt that doesn’t sound right…WEW? CWE? CEW?! Uh…”
There are some hushed whispers from behind the stage.
“What’s that? Oh…OH! Right, rightrightrightright, EWC! That’s where I’m at, just dropped off my application to the Pres…what was his name? It had something to do with McDonalds I think. Oh what the heck, who cares, that’s not the point!”
Mr Mayhem shakes his head and grins like the maniac he is.
“The point, is that the way everyone in this company acts, and everything they stand for, is a joke. But uh, it’s like no one…no one “gets” the joke. No one understands. You’re all too filled up by your own egos to even take a step back and think. You gotta use your heads, dumbos! HAHAHA!”
His laughter echoes out in to the night. Mr Mayhem wipes a small tear - the result of the laughter - from his eye, and straightens up.
“I mean you really think that these “titles” are worth it? Putting your body through the pain over and over and over just to get your name engraved on a tiny piece of metal, which will soon be passed on to the next John Doe and then the nextnext and the nextnextnext, hee…”
Mr Mayhem shakes his head.
“You think that fans that come to watch you actually care? No, nononono…you’re their ENTERTAINMENT. You go out there and you break your bodies…you through yourselves off of ladders and through tables. And the fans cheer and boo, whatever. But give it five, ten years. You’ll see. They’ll be cheering for the next steroidy, muscley, bulky guy. But what do I know, I’m just a clown.”
Mr Mayhem winks to the camera.
“Hey I won’t say that doing the whole “wrestler” thing can’t be fun. Heck I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think I’d get a kick outta it! Hee hee! Look, everybody’s gotta point to prove in this place. But me? No, I don’t have a
'point to prove.'”
'point to prove.'”
He punctuates his last sentence with his fingers as apostrophes. Mayhem then walks toward the camera lens.
“Here, gimmie that!”
There’s some rustling sounds, and the camera jerks around. Suddenly Mr Mayhem’s clown-like face fills the screen.
“I’ve just got a joke to tell, HAHAHAHA!”
The camera then slams on the ground, and tilts on its side. From a weird angle, Mr Mayhem can be seen in the distance, his high-pitch laughter still able to be heard. Eventually he walks off stage, his cackles fading into the night. The camera distorts, and flashes to black.