Post by Dante Ford on Apr 30, 2021 20:17:37 GMT -6
The following is a special broadcast. Yes, indeed. You hear so much about Dante Ford's greatness but as a media personality, The ManWonder understands the consequences of presenting a one-sided agenda and that's why we have collected one of the moments from 2021 where people showed appreciation to Dante in several ways. EVERYBODY LOVES DANTE FORD FROM THE REST OF THE LOCKER ROOM TO THE PEOPLE SAT IN THE WHITE HOUSE, IN FACT LET'S MEET MR. JOE BUDDEN RIGHT NOW.
Washington D.C.
From a White House - BY JOE BUDDEN
JOE BUDDEN: Yeah, Dante's good, he's a great man. Can I tell you anything that you don't know about him already? Of course I can. Dante is a humble man who doesn't like airing his business in public because he's far too modest, but I don't think he's given enough credit. Now it's no secret that I want to focus more on citizen welfare in the United States of America. But... this is on a whole new level. Dante Ford provides opportunity wherever he goes. He saw a couple of homeless fellows and they asked him for change. Now, the common man would feign ignorance or make an excuse to get out of this sensitive situation... but that Dante is no common man.
One day in Seattle...
The following scene transitions from the President of America to display an urban setting. This shows a scraggy vagrant in the streets, slumped up against a brick wall as he draws attention with his baggy khaki coat and his torn navy jeans with scuffed shoes to complete the desolate outfit. Juxtapose this and you'll see a man smelling of success, citric cologne coated over his rust-coloured jacket paired with a longline white tee-shirt and denim jeans, only sepia-tinted lens sunglasses cloaking that this is Dante Ford. He is strutting through the streets of Seattle until he hears a plea.
VAGRANT: Man, I need to get a bus into Aberdeen. Can you spare some change?
Dante stops in his tracks. The ManWonder freezes for a second, rewinding the request through his head as he is rooted to the spot with the vagabond looking on with hope as he is listened to. Dante could have continued walking, pretended that he didn't hear a single thing and left the stranger's plea to fall on deaf ears... but instead a poised Ford turned around to approach the man he had just passed. Dante does not meet eyes with the stranger, he walks up the street but is distant in his approach, not that this bothers the homeless fellow.
VAGRANT: God bless you Sir, thank you so much!
Dante reaches into one of his jacket's inside pockets. Now let's just freeze there. Dante Ford is a loudmouth. Narcissistic. He has shown no respect for anybody he has approached in the last few weeks. Thus, it's safe to say us and the viewers can see where this formulaic scene is going. The bad guy is going to feign benevolence and then punk out the less-fortunate. Humiliate him? Maybe he'll beat up the bum, that would scream villain. We've seen it all done before, Dante Ford is just another arrogant newcomer. That's what they say about him. Ford sheathes from his pocket, a wad of folded hundred dollar bills wrapped in an elastic band. The stranger looks up curiously, unsure whether his lucky day has finally arrived or if this was yet another taunt of his shortfalls. Dante Ford is yet to make eye contact with the vagrant, only brandishing what appears to be thousands of dollars in the viewpoint of the latter.
DANTE FORD: Here... in my hand, I've got two thousand dollars. I did anyway.
Dante makes a point as he slams the wad to the floor, only inches away from his gleaming black boots. Ford's eyes remain fixed on the ground as the stranger is gobsmacked, eyeing the money up in disbelief before looking up at a stoic Dante who still does not acknowledge the vagrant. The stranger remains on edge, hesitant to make a move as his grasp would be an easy target for his dreams of a better life being stomped on.
DANTE FORD: What? Are you waiting for the rats to come collect it?
Ford poses the question softly, maintaining that dismissive tone although finally addressing the man who had asked for change. A lump sum of money being nonchalantly tossed asunder is suspicious and it's this fact that suspends any belief of this being any chance of a lifeline, the vagrant is stupefied by this situation - is this a gesture or a display of power? Is this Dante's way of expressing his status?
DANTE FORD: I'm not gonna stand here all day and I can guarantee you that 'that' down there isn't going to stay there forever. So do you want it or are you just wasting Dant-... My time?
The commandeering growl in Ford's utterance springs the vagrant into action, the former pounces forth as he crawls over to pick up the money from by Dante's feet and snatches it into his hands, cupping the cash as if it were all delicate.
VAGRANT: Than-thank you.
The vagrant looks up at Ford to be met by eye-contact. Ford's demeanor remains expressionless.
DANTE FORD: I see you. You're down there on the floor. Every single day of your life is in limbo but you don't dare hope, you distance yourself from hope because the setbacks hurt too much. Life is so much easier in certainty whether it's for better or for worse. You're all the way at the bottom of the totem pole, you don't even register as a statistic to this so-called government... I don't how you got here. Whether you were dealt a bad hand in life or whether you tossed your chances away, I don't care. I'm a man who sets out to take everything from everyone and while you don't have a single penny to your name... I'll take your gratitude with me. I will take pride in knowing that I am the catalyst for changing somebody's life. It's one thing to say you're the change that is waiting to happen but you need to act on it, ergo here I am right now departing with the money I'd waste on a stripper. She'd get on my lap and take her clothes off... you though? You probably need some new clothes of your own, am I right?
Dante's straight-talking dissolves slightly as he ends his sentence with a cheeky smile, a grin as he makes a distasteful joke that is oddly received with amusement as the vagrant laughs it off, seeing no venom in Ford's remark.
DANTE FORD: Now as lovely as this 'conversation' has been... I must get going... I have somewhere to be, and so do you.
Dante storms off, turning to walk off from the scene of his 'gesture' as the floored vagrant remains in awe of what had just transpired. The homeless man rises to his feet, shouting out as he watches his patron depart.
VAGRANT: HEY, I DIDN'T CATCH YOUR NAME.
Dante keeps walking into the shroud of fog, leaving only a braggadocios statement.
DANTE FORD: I'm Dante Ford of course, who else would I be?
End scene... As we go back to a White House.
JOE BUDDEN: Wowwwww, what a moving act of kindness am I right? You've got so-called politicians unwilling to part with their taxes to the States but this random celebrity has shelled out on the less-fortunate with no ulterior motive. This man isn't even an American, but yet he is more interested in the welfare of our people than my predecessors. I'm POTUS, Joe Budden and I wholeheartedly support Dante Ford.
DANTE FORD: D Money's a generous man, who woulda thunk it? It's not like he doesn't talk about it every week. Dante Ford is a man of his word. If he says he's going to do something, believe that he is going to do it. He talks-the-talk but do not confuse that bravado for a man who isn't willing to get his hands dirty. UNLIKE his opponent Owen Titleman, a man who is the antithesis of everything Ford represents. Owen is in the EWC, through his connections not on merit. Owen waits forever to do his job as an ambassador for this sport and talk up his brand. Owen represents a lethargy that runs through the entire Monday Night BRAWL roster and dispatching of Owen is not going to cure this company of its lesions. Something more dramatic needs to be done. The landscape of this roster needs to be addressed from top-to-bottom and there's only one way for me to rectify the atrocities on display. Exist. I don't need to do anything flashy, my reputation alone is one that is blossoming week-by-week as people want to see where this hotshot newcomer is going to end up. They say the sky is the limit but I want to dismiss that cliché straight away, I'm breaking through that ceiling to a whole new undiscovered world because I'm not in the same league as these bananas on the roster. I'm going to use an embarrassing example.
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DANTE FORD: Look at these two blobs of mold. You want to laugh at the fact that all of their most photogenic photos were taken on a Kodak Travel Camera and they haven't seen a freshly shaven pussy since their matches were shown on black&white television, I tell you they were a whole lot less ugly before RGB colours were introduced. See the thing is, everybody can have a laugh at these two geriatrics but the fact is the Tag Team Division is being ran by two Gulf War veterans with Alzheimers because the New Breed isn't hungry enough. The Southern Express are working with rheumatoid arthritis and are still doing a better job than most of the talent of today because they want it more. It doesn't matter if they're doing it to stay out of the care home or because President Trump fucked their pensions raw, they want it more and they're showing up every show to get the job done. How many others can say that with a confident hand on heart?
Dante scoffs as he continues his tirade...
DANTE FORD: My upcoming opponent Owen Titleman. Still M.I.A MISSING. IN. ACTION. I don't know what to say. There's a show around the corner and he hasn't spoken up. I insulted his best friend and his family and I tell you, Owen - heck not even Davey Dunham - have not spoken up or shown that they want to make a statement. Well I do. Dante Ford would like to make a statement. I want to steal all of the accolades, the attention, I want D-Money's name in everybody's mouth. Parles vouz au Francais? Non? I'm f'ing French Montana, the Unforgettable Spectacle on Monday Nights and you won't find anybody like me on any rosters. Call me Eminem. Daddy's gonna buy Davey Dunham's bratty daughter a diamond ring and provide because daddy and uncle Owen definitely aren't selling tickets. CALL ME YEEEEZY, because this Mentality Monster's Presence is a Present.
Dante looks down into a velvet pink gift box, wrapped up by a matching silk ribbon. Ford unravels the bow and opens the box to reveal a small bag of sand.
DANTE FORD: Yeah, you see it. It's a sandbag, basically Owen Titleman's existence. Whoa whoa whoa, stay with me before you get any assumptions and let me talk to you. You know when you go to the beach. Yes? You know when you step up into midst of the plain to get a smell for the sea? You know when you're up to leave, there's a gritty feeling all between your toes... So you have to take your shoes off, dust them off and cleanse your feet? That's because of the sand.
Dante unseals the bag and begins pouring the sand back into the box.
DANTE FORD: I know what you're thinking. You don't know what I'm thinking. When you step onto the beach, sand is EVERYWHERE you go. Open your eyes and tell me how many Dante Fords you see on land? ONLY ONE IF YOU'RE AT THE RIGHT F'ING BEACH. Me and my supposed opponents are light years apart from each other. He has nothing going for him except a manager and an aura of mystique because nobody ever sees him. Does Owen Titleman exist? Sure he does. He was getting his ass handed to him last episode of BRAWL as I mentioned and now he's in a match. Owen, I pray you find some wisdom and realise ignoring Dante Ford's call to action is not wise in fact it's disrespectful. I've been the one putting in the work. I've been the one running their mouth to put this match over and make Dante Ford's BRAWL debut - heck, OWEN TITLEMAN'S BRAWL DEBUT - worth remembering and Dante Delivers. Always. So if I have to slap you senseless until teeth is popping out of your mouth, that's what I'll do. So get your act together and level with me like a man. You ain't going to lessen the burden that you step into the ring with on Monday but at least you'll find a semblance of respect from a more-than worthy opponent.
Washington D.C.
From a White House - BY JOE BUDDEN
JOE BUDDEN: Yeah, Dante's good, he's a great man. Can I tell you anything that you don't know about him already? Of course I can. Dante is a humble man who doesn't like airing his business in public because he's far too modest, but I don't think he's given enough credit. Now it's no secret that I want to focus more on citizen welfare in the United States of America. But... this is on a whole new level. Dante Ford provides opportunity wherever he goes. He saw a couple of homeless fellows and they asked him for change. Now, the common man would feign ignorance or make an excuse to get out of this sensitive situation... but that Dante is no common man.
One day in Seattle...
The following scene transitions from the President of America to display an urban setting. This shows a scraggy vagrant in the streets, slumped up against a brick wall as he draws attention with his baggy khaki coat and his torn navy jeans with scuffed shoes to complete the desolate outfit. Juxtapose this and you'll see a man smelling of success, citric cologne coated over his rust-coloured jacket paired with a longline white tee-shirt and denim jeans, only sepia-tinted lens sunglasses cloaking that this is Dante Ford. He is strutting through the streets of Seattle until he hears a plea.
VAGRANT: Man, I need to get a bus into Aberdeen. Can you spare some change?
Dante stops in his tracks. The ManWonder freezes for a second, rewinding the request through his head as he is rooted to the spot with the vagabond looking on with hope as he is listened to. Dante could have continued walking, pretended that he didn't hear a single thing and left the stranger's plea to fall on deaf ears... but instead a poised Ford turned around to approach the man he had just passed. Dante does not meet eyes with the stranger, he walks up the street but is distant in his approach, not that this bothers the homeless fellow.
VAGRANT: God bless you Sir, thank you so much!
Dante reaches into one of his jacket's inside pockets. Now let's just freeze there. Dante Ford is a loudmouth. Narcissistic. He has shown no respect for anybody he has approached in the last few weeks. Thus, it's safe to say us and the viewers can see where this formulaic scene is going. The bad guy is going to feign benevolence and then punk out the less-fortunate. Humiliate him? Maybe he'll beat up the bum, that would scream villain. We've seen it all done before, Dante Ford is just another arrogant newcomer. That's what they say about him. Ford sheathes from his pocket, a wad of folded hundred dollar bills wrapped in an elastic band. The stranger looks up curiously, unsure whether his lucky day has finally arrived or if this was yet another taunt of his shortfalls. Dante Ford is yet to make eye contact with the vagrant, only brandishing what appears to be thousands of dollars in the viewpoint of the latter.
DANTE FORD: Here... in my hand, I've got two thousand dollars. I did anyway.
Dante makes a point as he slams the wad to the floor, only inches away from his gleaming black boots. Ford's eyes remain fixed on the ground as the stranger is gobsmacked, eyeing the money up in disbelief before looking up at a stoic Dante who still does not acknowledge the vagrant. The stranger remains on edge, hesitant to make a move as his grasp would be an easy target for his dreams of a better life being stomped on.
DANTE FORD: What? Are you waiting for the rats to come collect it?
Ford poses the question softly, maintaining that dismissive tone although finally addressing the man who had asked for change. A lump sum of money being nonchalantly tossed asunder is suspicious and it's this fact that suspends any belief of this being any chance of a lifeline, the vagrant is stupefied by this situation - is this a gesture or a display of power? Is this Dante's way of expressing his status?
DANTE FORD: I'm not gonna stand here all day and I can guarantee you that 'that' down there isn't going to stay there forever. So do you want it or are you just wasting Dant-... My time?
The commandeering growl in Ford's utterance springs the vagrant into action, the former pounces forth as he crawls over to pick up the money from by Dante's feet and snatches it into his hands, cupping the cash as if it were all delicate.
VAGRANT: Than-thank you.
The vagrant looks up at Ford to be met by eye-contact. Ford's demeanor remains expressionless.
DANTE FORD: I see you. You're down there on the floor. Every single day of your life is in limbo but you don't dare hope, you distance yourself from hope because the setbacks hurt too much. Life is so much easier in certainty whether it's for better or for worse. You're all the way at the bottom of the totem pole, you don't even register as a statistic to this so-called government... I don't how you got here. Whether you were dealt a bad hand in life or whether you tossed your chances away, I don't care. I'm a man who sets out to take everything from everyone and while you don't have a single penny to your name... I'll take your gratitude with me. I will take pride in knowing that I am the catalyst for changing somebody's life. It's one thing to say you're the change that is waiting to happen but you need to act on it, ergo here I am right now departing with the money I'd waste on a stripper. She'd get on my lap and take her clothes off... you though? You probably need some new clothes of your own, am I right?
Dante's straight-talking dissolves slightly as he ends his sentence with a cheeky smile, a grin as he makes a distasteful joke that is oddly received with amusement as the vagrant laughs it off, seeing no venom in Ford's remark.
DANTE FORD: Now as lovely as this 'conversation' has been... I must get going... I have somewhere to be, and so do you.
Dante storms off, turning to walk off from the scene of his 'gesture' as the floored vagrant remains in awe of what had just transpired. The homeless man rises to his feet, shouting out as he watches his patron depart.
VAGRANT: HEY, I DIDN'T CATCH YOUR NAME.
Dante keeps walking into the shroud of fog, leaving only a braggadocios statement.
DANTE FORD: I'm Dante Ford of course, who else would I be?
End scene... As we go back to a White House.
JOE BUDDEN: Wowwwww, what a moving act of kindness am I right? You've got so-called politicians unwilling to part with their taxes to the States but this random celebrity has shelled out on the less-fortunate with no ulterior motive. This man isn't even an American, but yet he is more interested in the welfare of our people than my predecessors. I'm POTUS, Joe Budden and I wholeheartedly support Dante Ford.
DANTE FORD: D Money's a generous man, who woulda thunk it? It's not like he doesn't talk about it every week. Dante Ford is a man of his word. If he says he's going to do something, believe that he is going to do it. He talks-the-talk but do not confuse that bravado for a man who isn't willing to get his hands dirty. UNLIKE his opponent Owen Titleman, a man who is the antithesis of everything Ford represents. Owen is in the EWC, through his connections not on merit. Owen waits forever to do his job as an ambassador for this sport and talk up his brand. Owen represents a lethargy that runs through the entire Monday Night BRAWL roster and dispatching of Owen is not going to cure this company of its lesions. Something more dramatic needs to be done. The landscape of this roster needs to be addressed from top-to-bottom and there's only one way for me to rectify the atrocities on display. Exist. I don't need to do anything flashy, my reputation alone is one that is blossoming week-by-week as people want to see where this hotshot newcomer is going to end up. They say the sky is the limit but I want to dismiss that cliché straight away, I'm breaking through that ceiling to a whole new undiscovered world because I'm not in the same league as these bananas on the roster. I'm going to use an embarrassing example.
DANTE FORD: Look at these two blobs of mold. You want to laugh at the fact that all of their most photogenic photos were taken on a Kodak Travel Camera and they haven't seen a freshly shaven pussy since their matches were shown on black&white television, I tell you they were a whole lot less ugly before RGB colours were introduced. See the thing is, everybody can have a laugh at these two geriatrics but the fact is the Tag Team Division is being ran by two Gulf War veterans with Alzheimers because the New Breed isn't hungry enough. The Southern Express are working with rheumatoid arthritis and are still doing a better job than most of the talent of today because they want it more. It doesn't matter if they're doing it to stay out of the care home or because President Trump fucked their pensions raw, they want it more and they're showing up every show to get the job done. How many others can say that with a confident hand on heart?
Dante scoffs as he continues his tirade...
DANTE FORD: My upcoming opponent Owen Titleman. Still M.I.A MISSING. IN. ACTION. I don't know what to say. There's a show around the corner and he hasn't spoken up. I insulted his best friend and his family and I tell you, Owen - heck not even Davey Dunham - have not spoken up or shown that they want to make a statement. Well I do. Dante Ford would like to make a statement. I want to steal all of the accolades, the attention, I want D-Money's name in everybody's mouth. Parles vouz au Francais? Non? I'm f'ing French Montana, the Unforgettable Spectacle on Monday Nights and you won't find anybody like me on any rosters. Call me Eminem. Daddy's gonna buy Davey Dunham's bratty daughter a diamond ring and provide because daddy and uncle Owen definitely aren't selling tickets. CALL ME YEEEEZY, because this Mentality Monster's Presence is a Present.
Dante looks down into a velvet pink gift box, wrapped up by a matching silk ribbon. Ford unravels the bow and opens the box to reveal a small bag of sand.
DANTE FORD: Yeah, you see it. It's a sandbag, basically Owen Titleman's existence. Whoa whoa whoa, stay with me before you get any assumptions and let me talk to you. You know when you go to the beach. Yes? You know when you step up into midst of the plain to get a smell for the sea? You know when you're up to leave, there's a gritty feeling all between your toes... So you have to take your shoes off, dust them off and cleanse your feet? That's because of the sand.
Dante unseals the bag and begins pouring the sand back into the box.
DANTE FORD: I know what you're thinking. You don't know what I'm thinking. When you step onto the beach, sand is EVERYWHERE you go. Open your eyes and tell me how many Dante Fords you see on land? ONLY ONE IF YOU'RE AT THE RIGHT F'ING BEACH. Me and my supposed opponents are light years apart from each other. He has nothing going for him except a manager and an aura of mystique because nobody ever sees him. Does Owen Titleman exist? Sure he does. He was getting his ass handed to him last episode of BRAWL as I mentioned and now he's in a match. Owen, I pray you find some wisdom and realise ignoring Dante Ford's call to action is not wise in fact it's disrespectful. I've been the one putting in the work. I've been the one running their mouth to put this match over and make Dante Ford's BRAWL debut - heck, OWEN TITLEMAN'S BRAWL DEBUT - worth remembering and Dante Delivers. Always. So if I have to slap you senseless until teeth is popping out of your mouth, that's what I'll do. So get your act together and level with me like a man. You ain't going to lessen the burden that you step into the ring with on Monday but at least you'll find a semblance of respect from a more-than worthy opponent.
