Tsutsumi House CDs

[Narumi Tsutsumi]

// Everything in this is this page is in Japanese unless otherwise specified since it’ll most likely be family CDs. Starting with a trailer for a documentary Narumi got green-lit during the break. I figure I could set up some wrestlers and supporting cast in here for the future, while doing CD mostly focused on Narumi. If nothing else, also to display Narumi fulfilling family business responsibilities and her quirks since she used becoming Indy Champion to push a family documentary and chose to make a deal with Hikari TV due to their mascot and reach in Japan. The CDs of the documentary is played by actors.

(The blue monkey mascot for the Hikari-TV streaming platform is shown doing various antics when it is eventually met with a package from the “Tsutsumi House Deliveries” shipping and packaging company. Then, it grows oni horns and transitions from animation to real people. The trailer shows three children representing Narumi Tsutsumi, her twin sister Masumi Tsutsumi, and her male cousin Jaydayne Pendragon looking at printed words on their dojo wall: Kitsune Packaging, Oni Delivery.)

Trailer voiceover: Yōkai Todokeru! A tale of strife, family, and diverted dreams to birth an age of Tsutsumi triumph in professional wrestling!

(Various clips of the trio’s separate careers are shown. Jaydayne was forced into in a dark shady tag team with gold in the west, and then found fame and gold in Japan by himself to reclaim his honour. Masumi in a team known as Osoroshii is shown teaming with her partner while Narumi manages them in a Joshi promotion. Narumi is shown snatching a Legends of the Cage opening advertisement from her cousin and afterwards Narumi is shown rising to the top of the Indy’s through Youngblood)

Trailer voiceover: Witness the upbringing brought to you by Hikari TV documenting one of Japan’s esteemed families!

(It goes back in time to a huge child wrapped in bandage wraps shown to the trio as teenagers. Then the three playing onigokko/‘T/N’ tag’ as kids. As children, Narumi is being given a piggyback ride from her cousin, and she does an “O” sign with her thumb and index finger with a smile as a man approaches them.)

Figure: Violence has been part and parcel of our bloodline since our ancestors achieved distinction in times of old. Their base instincts need to be wrapped up with discipline! Children, the time for you to join this dojo has arrived. Are you prepared to serve in honouring your family and carrying on in the tales you’ve been told?

(The screen ends with “Summer 2022: Yōkai Todokeru ‘T/N’ Yokai Deliverance’ printed on the screen.)

[Narumi Tsutsumi]

Short Intro - Onigokko
Date: July 1996
Location: Japan, Outside of the Tsutsumi Family Dojo

(The documentary begins with the shadow of three kid-sized shadows running through the grass and past a statue of a Japanese dragon. They head towards a temple dojo where two onigawara watch over as the two corner ornaments on the temple roof.)

Voice Over: Tag you're it! Onigokko is a most beloved oni game for humans and yokai alike. Whether genetics, myths, legacies, feelings, knowledge, or all matters of this world, beings pick up and pass down an influence, you can call that "it", onto others in an endless cycle. In this mini documentary of the Tsutsumis, we tag you by delivering the tale of the Tsutsumis participation in this universal game where they struggle to inherit and pass down the family prestige, dread, and yokai lore they've both been blessed and burdened to continue.

(Standing left to right in front of the dojo: At four years old, the eccentric Narumi Tsutsumi, her stalwart male cousin Jaydayne Pendragon, and her morose twin sister Masumi Tsutsumi play rock paper scissors. As they extend their hands out, Narumi a split second early gets her hand out as a rock, causing Jaydayne to reflexively change his from scissors to paper at the last second to victoriously cover both sister's stone. Jaydayne picks Narumi to be oni, as Narumi feigns shock and then sneakily giggles without them seeing.)

Masumi: Why does she always get to be it?!

Jaydayne: My grandpa says good knights don't want to be oni.

Voice Over: A typical occurrence in their prep for Onigokko. Narumi throws a purposeful bait, knowing her cousin's reflexes and her sister's rigid propensity for stone. Pendragon picks her to be it because she's the fastest and poses the best challenge as a hero against what he was taught was a villainous role.

(Masumi pouts seated on the grass after bruising her leg while being tagged. Jaydayne has sought the high ground on a small stone column near the stairs, but senses Narumi sneaking behind him. He reflectively tries to dodge, but she's too quick and palms him the chest as he falls on his back from the tag. Having won, Narumi gets a victory piggyback ride from Jaydayne and she goes an O gesture with her thumb and index finger. The twins' mother runs onto the scene heavily breathing from a run trying to catch up to them, and she finds her daughter proclaiming…)

Narumi: ONI NUMBA ONE!!!!!!!!!!!

Twins' mother: Kids, be careful! I don't like the physicality you add to that game! And Narumi, I've told you about that ill-mannered habit of yours! Stop sitting on people and being loud! A proper lady must have serene humility.

(The dojo doors ominously creak open as the twin's father come out in an all-black suit and black noh mask.)

Twins' father: Leave them be. Violence has been part and parcel of our bloodline since our ancestors achieved distinction as carriers in ancient times of the wars of old. Flowery words won't reach them. Their base instincts need to be wrapped up with discipline! Discipline is what led us to become dignitaries and conquerors in business and combat. They're almost already five, yet still seem to think this world is about fun and games, I won't tolerate them being unproductive forever. That decrepit zealot thumper Pendragon we only tolerated for politics even spews nonsense that his grandson is corrupted from the proper path from his summer vacations here. Children, the time for you to join this dojo has arrived, are you prepared to serve in honouring your family and carrying on in the tales you've been told?

Kids: OSS! ('T/N', Yes in martial arts speak.)

(The children hop and dance happily, the mother clutches her pearls, and the father crosses his arms to analytic thought and coldly nods in approval.)

[Narumi Tsutsumi]

Short 1 - Kitsune Packaging, Oni Delivery
Date: July 2002
Japan, Inside of the Tsutsumi Family Dojo

(The short begins inside the Tsutsumi Family dojo. There is a slight foreboding atmosphere to the traditional room as the walls have paintings of tsukumogami{'T/N':tool yokai} boxes that have their sashes out like tentacles around tengu and other yokai doing martial arts, while the karateka in the dojo all where black gi while mastering their craft. The short pauses on two scrolls stood side by side at the dojo, as current time Narumi’s voice can be heard reading them.)

Narumi voice-over: “Kitsune Packaging, Oni Delivery” These are the words of our dojo. It is to say that the form behind our strikes and everything about our presentation must seem as sly, smooth, and swift as a fox, but ultimately land as forcefully as the might of an ogre. As for the parcel theme…well that comes from our last name, as my father adored reminding us.

(In matching black gi seated left to ring at ten years old: Jaydayne Pendragon[cousin] on one knee, Narumi[twin] seated in seiza, and Masumi[twin] in a sloppy crossed position with her head rested on her hand listening to the twin’s father in front of them.)

Twins' father: As the progeny of Tsutsumi line, I deliver unto thee a commitment that which must never be forgotten by those who carry our proud blood! Tsutsumi is a name of art given to us by the lords of old when we were trusted to keep military communications under wraps for only the eyes of the shogun. It means to wrap gifts. Our way of life is to deliver the finest of goods to the masses, and one day we shall pass the parcel to you. And…

(During this speech the children had begun to play instead of giving him their attention, as Narumi had begun teasing Jaydayne by doing tricks with an ayatori string. Jaydayne was smiling back in curiosity and about to try doing the same when the twin’s father eye twitched.)

Twins' father: ARE YOU LISTENING?!

(The two straighten up startled by the raising of his voice, but before he can go into a tirade Jaydayne’s parents step in. Jaydayne’s mother hushes her younger brother.)

Jaydayne’s mother: Don’t you raise your voice at them! They’ve heard you dryly tell that tale thousands of times. They’re just kids having fun after doing so well in that karate tournament you put them in, are they not owed time to celebrate amongst themselves with play?

Twins' father: ….What nonsense. Success is not for pleasure, it is a norm expected of a Tsutsumi and only brings a brief respite from punishment and discipline! Your time in the west has made you soft. But no matter, I can cover this, it’s a man’s role to remain firm after all.

(The twin’s father returns his tightly wound gaze toward the children.)

Twins' father: Oi, do you hear me Jaydayne?! One day you shall be the oldest man of this family, you cannot allow yourself to be so easily influenced. You’re always reacting, prone to second-guessing and doubt, it is unbecoming of a man! You need aggression! And you Narumi, you’re always up to something, thinking of other interests, and causing trouble when you should be falling in line, no one will want a woman who doesn’t keep her ideas to herself and doesn’t know her place! And Masumi, show some grace! I had thought you learning the way of the fist would put a wrap over your bad traits and make you all presentable by now…

(Jaydayne’s mother snaps her fingers next to her brother’s face to get his attention and try to snap him out of his rambling.)

Jaydayne’s mother: What’s the matter with you? We own a packaging and delivery company for goodness' sakes, we aren’t raising an army. I only gave my blessing for them to learn to fight because the kids seemed interested, but I don’t condone ignorant verbal abuse towards children. I won’t warn you a third time to stop. I’ve told you how they’ll need to be trained properly for what’s becoming current. You do know going with the current is the real way of the arts.

Twins' father: Bah! And I told you that mixed martial arts garbage is just a craze for a generation too undisciplined to focus on mastering one martial art! Kyokushin karate is all they need! And there’s no such thing as “verbal abuse”, that is another pathetic creation of this time weaklings say, it’s only words. I will beat tradition into these-

(Jaydayne’s mother leaps forward wrapping her legs around her brother and locking a guillotine choke to the next as her brother’s arms flail in surprise. She doesn’t apply too tightly but the shock has him fall to his knees and she lets go as he rolls away dumbfounded. Before the adults can speak the children rush in excited at what they saw.)

Narumi: Hey, teach us that!

(The twin’s father’s face goes red in embarrassment, and he awkwardly speed walks out of the room, and then his pregnant wife is shown waddling after him. Jaydayne’s father who was didn't understand since doesn’t speak Japanese speaks in 'English'.)

Jaydayne’s father: 'Now why did you go and do that dear? That cheeky blowhard always has constant diarrhea of the mouth, now that you backed him up with that choke the lad’s got to go to the loo to get it out.'

(The five all snicker a bit, and then Jaydayne’s mother grabs the kids into a hug.)

Jaydayne’s mother: Don’t worry about my brother, he was always hard-headed and our parents were extra harsh on him since he couldn’t learn to fight quickly, but he loves you all dearly. He’ll make sure you learn well. As for you Narumi, I know you have the outlook to take this family forward, make sure he makes you all get your cross-training.

Jaydayne: 'Papa, he said weakness is of the west, but grandfather says the opposite.'

Jaydayne’s father: 'Poppycock from the lot of them. Son, being raised between two different cultures can be confusing, but it’s okay to find YOUR way through trial and error.'

(Narumi and Jaydayne nod and then bow as the short ends.)