Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2023 21:58:54 GMT -6
Hello and welcome to Sykobitty Exposed. I am, of course, the one called Sykobitty. Real name Eavan Maloney. Even realer name… Olive. Thought I’d start with a touch of honesty right out of the box. Eavan is actually my middle name. See, here’s the thing. I had it rough enough breaking into this sport due to my stature using the name Eavan. Imagine trying to do all of that with the name Olive. Though… it had its advantages I wouldn’t realize until years later.
So, let’s talk about this show and why I’m doing it. It could very well be a one-and-done thing, but I felt as if people don’t know the real me. You see the wrestler, the most dangerous woman with a live mic and a Twitter feed, but what you don’t see is the work I do behind the persona. I don’t show the real me, Olive, because it’s a far cry from the woman I’ve let you all know. I don’t want this place to be all about the Eavan Maloney experience. I’ve hidden my real self by design until now. This place will hopefully be less the Eavan you’re used to, and more the woman behind the gimmick.
Let’s get the mental health question out of the way, because I feel that’s how I’m judged the strongest. When I asked for questions, this was the one I received the most which validates the feeling I have a lot of the time. I feel like I’m defined by my illnesses, and I wish one day that won’t be the case. I’d like to be able to say ‘Hi I’m Olive, I’m a mother and the president of a motorcycle club’ as a way to introduce myself, but my brain doesn’t allow me to do that. It’s like Linus with his wooden sign “Welcome Great Pumpkin” except my sign says “Hi, I’m Crazy”. We’ll rewind to that intro I slipped in and dropped more truth drops, but yeah, let’s get the mental health question out of the way so I can put that sign down.
"What is your diagnosis?" I have borderline personality disorder, as well as bipolar 2 disorder and ADHD. There were other potential diagnoses but as of recording, these are the definite ones. Unfortunately, not understanding the symptoms of BPD made my time in the industry harder than I wish it had been. And as much as I slip into Eavan Mode to act all tough and mouthy and use the ‘hard to deal with’ label as a badge of honor? Truth is, I hate myself more than you do. I hate how I get into my own head and make situations worse for not only myself but for those around me. I do something called splitting - a defense mechanism in which a person goes between extremes of idealization and devaluation. It’s hard to explain or describe but basically it sucks, and it’s gotten me into a lot of shit over the years, and has caused immeasurable pain and frustration in a lot of people and that’s why few people will hire me, or even just be my friend. The thing is, I’ve tried to apologize, and tried to change, and it’s been in those changes that I’ve learned about what I have. I think the next show, I’m going to go into a deep-dive on borderline personality disorder and my journey of self-discovery. I think it needs to be put out there, so I’ve made a note or else I’ll forget. I’m notoriously bad for that.
These are the things I work on, and to be honest, I’m a lot better overall now than I was. As much as people just see my flare-ups and are quick to judge by saying nothing’s changed. Believe me, it has, and it continues to. I can’t take back the hurt I caused, and I can’t say to someone who’s decided I’m no longer worth their time and friendship ‘hey this is me’ but… hey, this is me. This is as real and as honest as it gets. I hurt; a lot. But I manage because it’s better than the alternative. And yeah, I still have my moments but I manage them better.
Ok, you’ll likely won’t notice the edit here because I broke down in tears earlier, and couldn’t say anything for a bit but I’ve pulled myself together, I think? It was an ugly cry and nobody needed to hear that. Before we go on though, I just want to say thank you to the few that stuck by me through everything, and even to the ones who left who pushed me to figure out what was wrong and why I act the way I did, and do. I’m sorry to the ones I hurt, and hopefully these exposes will help break the stigma of mental health, at least what I live with on a daily basis.
I mentioned earlier that I’m a mother. Yeah, surprise? I’ve mentioned her before but her name is Emileigh, she’s 15 and we share the same birthday. I guess I should tell this story as well because I’m sure some of you have done the math. Yes, I gave birth to her on my 16th birthday. I was assaulted at a party, no idea who the father is to this day, and when she was born, my parents and I helped to get her adopted. It was just something we never spoke of afterwards. It affected me more than people realized, I felt guilt for both putting myself in that situation, and letting my responsibility go after she was born. Emi told me a story when we reconnected that she met me at a meet-and-greet and I had no idea who she was and I blew her off, and I had no recollection of that because I was on a lot of drugs at the time. A couple of years ago, I learned through the Shieldmaidens - I wasn’t exactly a member anymore at that point for various reasons - that she was in trouble and she was clearly my daughter so we met, she hit me for valid reasons, and we’re still working on getting to know one another. She divides her time between the Zduniches in Jersey and with Madre in Ottawa. She does her schooling remotely so she has that option to travel back and forth, and we see each other as frequently as possible.
Another question, well it’s a series of questions, but it’s around the same subject, and that’s The Devil’s Doves. How do I become one? Are you guys as bad as other motorcycle gangs? Is it just one big orgy with motorcycles? That last question is rude and I won’t dignify it with an answer, but the others I thought it would be easier to explain the entire process and let you guys decide for yourselves.
Let’s start with how the Devil’s Doves themselves came to be. I can’t share too much about the inner dealings, what goes on beyond the metal gates is confidential to outsiders, but what I can divulge publicly was that we met up with another outfit, the Devils, that were here in New Egypt who needed our help. We liked what we saw of the organization and what they had set up but could be improved. We made a call to Bullet, and the New Egypt Charter was formed. As for the Devil’s Doves name, that was my idea. After Madre had to step down to take care of my dad, I thought it’d be a way to set our Charter apart from the other Shieldmaiden Charters all over the globe, and to honor the Devils name and legacy that was started before we came. They’re still family, but something we’ve always prided ourselves on is, and I quote, we do things different in Jersey. We handle our business by our own means. However, I can tell you the steps that are taken to become a Dove.
Topino has contacts within many types of women's shelters stretching from as north as Trenton, as west as Philadelphia, and as south as Atlantic City, so a wide enough net. While we can’t save everybody, we try to at least get names and ideas on their situations. Those Topino thinks can be helped, and could be helpful to us, she sends out feelers to recruit them to come to New Egypt.
Upon arrival to New Egypt, the recruits will start at Chrissy's, a restaurant/bar and hotel where they are housed. From there, the recruits are met by a team of counselors ranging from drug addiction, mental health, suicide prevention, domestic violence, etc, and evaluated. We have a fairly strong medical crew up here, and they are always up for helping us out. Some of them had passed through us when Madre ran her outfit and we eagerly kept her traditions going when she had to step down. After initial evaluations, those who agree to these forms of therapy are invited to The Krigarakademin, a state-of-the-art housing and development facility that was recently expanded, part of the negotiating that took place when we assumed the Hellhounds here.
As part of their development, the recruits are offered co-op placements with members of the Doves, or an affiliate enterprise where they are monitored. This allows us to see the moral character of our recruits. Upon completion, usually about six months, they earn a graduation where they’re offered an opportunity to join The Devil's Doves. Graduates can also opt to return home and help in their respective communities, which we provide assistance within whatever endeavors they want to pursue. Our goal is to create a better place and better women. Equip them with resources and personal strength to take on the world. We make Warriors.
Those who wish to enlist get the title of Squab, aka Prospect. From there they would have to show continued personal growth before they are given Dove, aka Full Patch, status. The services at the Krigarakademin are also granted to every member of the Doves and their families, and this is where I can make the corny joke that not only am I the president, but I’m also a client.
So I asked you guys to send me questions either through my DMs or CuriousCat, and the first question I got was a two-parter. “Do you have any dream matches or opponents, and what were your best matches and opponents?” Dream matches, not anymore. That isn’t to say I feel like I’ve done it all. I just look at the business differently now. I used to look at the wrestling business as a way of defining myself. I was a wrestler first above all else. When you’re starting out, you want that desire, you want that hunger so you’ll fight your way to the top. Nowadays, I do it because it’s fun. I still get to travel all over, get to see you guys, get to hear Judgement Day REALLY loud and hear you guys even louder than that. It’s a feeling you don’t get to experience in any other way. Dream opponents, again no. Honestly there’s SO many wrestlers today, and so many companies, I don’t know anybody anymore. With that said, with me out of the loop with a lot of it, I don’t have anyone I can think of that I say “I want to fight that person”. I’ll admit, for a long time, I had a few people I wanted to give receipts to, but I’m over that now.
Favorite matches and opponents? I think the series of matches Crystal Alvarez and I had in WWA will always be special to me. The way we were able to make every match mean something and do different things was awesome. I have to get out to San Diego soon to see her and Tara. As cool as those matches were, favorite match bar none - and you know I’m being honest because despite the fact my brain is shit, this date is burned in. February 25th, 2020. New Frontier Wrestling Invasion card, against Morgan Payne in a deathmatch. Half the ropes were barbed wire, C4 everywhere and I think I landed on every single one. I seem to recall it took a package driver through a table of light tubes and C4 to - no I kept going after that. Morgan just made the ten count after I couldn’t go anymore, that’s what it was. It took a long time to appreciate that match for what it was. I don’t think it’s been beat for scariest physical contest since. Morgan and I have a pained history, but I love her even if it isn’t mutual. I kinda did do that splitting thing and said some really stupid things on a few occasions.
What is my guilty pleasures? Red M&Ms! I’m kidding, it’s because of another question I was asked. If you know, you know. Guilty pleasures, for me, come from different areas of my life. Like, if we’re talking food, I’m a pineapple on pizza girl. Come at me. Chocolate of all sorts, gummy candy. Totally bad for you but I get excited for it. This one will get me heat, but you know those cute videos of kids where they end up hurting themselves over stupid things? I can binge-watch those for hours, they crack me up so bad. If we’re talking the naughty stuff, pain. Choke me, slap me, drill me until my insides are applesauce, it’ll be VERY obvious that I’m getting off on it. And I bet my DMs are going to blow up now because yes, I AM single.
This question came from the Doves, I had to call them out on this, but it was did Ricky and I do the deed? So, if you follow me on social media, you’d know I went on a date with Ricky Stanton last night. It was a wonderful time and I was glad to meet the more humbler version of the man you all see publicly. As for if anything happened other than that? Honestly, it’s none of anybody’s business. People are going to speculate regardless so my answer is simply - no comment.
Where do I get my ideas for my merch and what was my biggest seller? I have a company out of Atlantic City, GFXMonkees, that will pitch ideas, or sometimes they’ll get messages I leave at like four in the morning from me going “I want to do this” and usually within hours there are mockups done which I can agree or veto and off to the printing company who makes my shirts. Best seller would have to be the You Are Warrior design I put out earlier this year, which beat out the Mew World Order shirt I put out back in WWA. I think, at the time, I was selling six-to-one against everyone else. The shows were packed with fans wearing them, it was awesome. The Warrior shirts got a larger audience so in terms of sales, it beats the mWo one but as far as impact, it’s mWo 4 Life.
Alright, I think I’m going to wrap this up here. It took a lot longer to record than what you’ll hear, but I wanted to both make sure it was everything I wanted to say, and well that crying bit. Thank you to everyone who listened this long. Olive out.
So, let’s talk about this show and why I’m doing it. It could very well be a one-and-done thing, but I felt as if people don’t know the real me. You see the wrestler, the most dangerous woman with a live mic and a Twitter feed, but what you don’t see is the work I do behind the persona. I don’t show the real me, Olive, because it’s a far cry from the woman I’ve let you all know. I don’t want this place to be all about the Eavan Maloney experience. I’ve hidden my real self by design until now. This place will hopefully be less the Eavan you’re used to, and more the woman behind the gimmick.
Let’s get the mental health question out of the way, because I feel that’s how I’m judged the strongest. When I asked for questions, this was the one I received the most which validates the feeling I have a lot of the time. I feel like I’m defined by my illnesses, and I wish one day that won’t be the case. I’d like to be able to say ‘Hi I’m Olive, I’m a mother and the president of a motorcycle club’ as a way to introduce myself, but my brain doesn’t allow me to do that. It’s like Linus with his wooden sign “Welcome Great Pumpkin” except my sign says “Hi, I’m Crazy”. We’ll rewind to that intro I slipped in and dropped more truth drops, but yeah, let’s get the mental health question out of the way so I can put that sign down.
"What is your diagnosis?" I have borderline personality disorder, as well as bipolar 2 disorder and ADHD. There were other potential diagnoses but as of recording, these are the definite ones. Unfortunately, not understanding the symptoms of BPD made my time in the industry harder than I wish it had been. And as much as I slip into Eavan Mode to act all tough and mouthy and use the ‘hard to deal with’ label as a badge of honor? Truth is, I hate myself more than you do. I hate how I get into my own head and make situations worse for not only myself but for those around me. I do something called splitting - a defense mechanism in which a person goes between extremes of idealization and devaluation. It’s hard to explain or describe but basically it sucks, and it’s gotten me into a lot of shit over the years, and has caused immeasurable pain and frustration in a lot of people and that’s why few people will hire me, or even just be my friend. The thing is, I’ve tried to apologize, and tried to change, and it’s been in those changes that I’ve learned about what I have. I think the next show, I’m going to go into a deep-dive on borderline personality disorder and my journey of self-discovery. I think it needs to be put out there, so I’ve made a note or else I’ll forget. I’m notoriously bad for that.
These are the things I work on, and to be honest, I’m a lot better overall now than I was. As much as people just see my flare-ups and are quick to judge by saying nothing’s changed. Believe me, it has, and it continues to. I can’t take back the hurt I caused, and I can’t say to someone who’s decided I’m no longer worth their time and friendship ‘hey this is me’ but… hey, this is me. This is as real and as honest as it gets. I hurt; a lot. But I manage because it’s better than the alternative. And yeah, I still have my moments but I manage them better.
Ok, you’ll likely won’t notice the edit here because I broke down in tears earlier, and couldn’t say anything for a bit but I’ve pulled myself together, I think? It was an ugly cry and nobody needed to hear that. Before we go on though, I just want to say thank you to the few that stuck by me through everything, and even to the ones who left who pushed me to figure out what was wrong and why I act the way I did, and do. I’m sorry to the ones I hurt, and hopefully these exposes will help break the stigma of mental health, at least what I live with on a daily basis.
I mentioned earlier that I’m a mother. Yeah, surprise? I’ve mentioned her before but her name is Emileigh, she’s 15 and we share the same birthday. I guess I should tell this story as well because I’m sure some of you have done the math. Yes, I gave birth to her on my 16th birthday. I was assaulted at a party, no idea who the father is to this day, and when she was born, my parents and I helped to get her adopted. It was just something we never spoke of afterwards. It affected me more than people realized, I felt guilt for both putting myself in that situation, and letting my responsibility go after she was born. Emi told me a story when we reconnected that she met me at a meet-and-greet and I had no idea who she was and I blew her off, and I had no recollection of that because I was on a lot of drugs at the time. A couple of years ago, I learned through the Shieldmaidens - I wasn’t exactly a member anymore at that point for various reasons - that she was in trouble and she was clearly my daughter so we met, she hit me for valid reasons, and we’re still working on getting to know one another. She divides her time between the Zduniches in Jersey and with Madre in Ottawa. She does her schooling remotely so she has that option to travel back and forth, and we see each other as frequently as possible.
Another question, well it’s a series of questions, but it’s around the same subject, and that’s The Devil’s Doves. How do I become one? Are you guys as bad as other motorcycle gangs? Is it just one big orgy with motorcycles? That last question is rude and I won’t dignify it with an answer, but the others I thought it would be easier to explain the entire process and let you guys decide for yourselves.
Let’s start with how the Devil’s Doves themselves came to be. I can’t share too much about the inner dealings, what goes on beyond the metal gates is confidential to outsiders, but what I can divulge publicly was that we met up with another outfit, the Devils, that were here in New Egypt who needed our help. We liked what we saw of the organization and what they had set up but could be improved. We made a call to Bullet, and the New Egypt Charter was formed. As for the Devil’s Doves name, that was my idea. After Madre had to step down to take care of my dad, I thought it’d be a way to set our Charter apart from the other Shieldmaiden Charters all over the globe, and to honor the Devils name and legacy that was started before we came. They’re still family, but something we’ve always prided ourselves on is, and I quote, we do things different in Jersey. We handle our business by our own means. However, I can tell you the steps that are taken to become a Dove.
Topino has contacts within many types of women's shelters stretching from as north as Trenton, as west as Philadelphia, and as south as Atlantic City, so a wide enough net. While we can’t save everybody, we try to at least get names and ideas on their situations. Those Topino thinks can be helped, and could be helpful to us, she sends out feelers to recruit them to come to New Egypt.
Upon arrival to New Egypt, the recruits will start at Chrissy's, a restaurant/bar and hotel where they are housed. From there, the recruits are met by a team of counselors ranging from drug addiction, mental health, suicide prevention, domestic violence, etc, and evaluated. We have a fairly strong medical crew up here, and they are always up for helping us out. Some of them had passed through us when Madre ran her outfit and we eagerly kept her traditions going when she had to step down. After initial evaluations, those who agree to these forms of therapy are invited to The Krigarakademin, a state-of-the-art housing and development facility that was recently expanded, part of the negotiating that took place when we assumed the Hellhounds here.
As part of their development, the recruits are offered co-op placements with members of the Doves, or an affiliate enterprise where they are monitored. This allows us to see the moral character of our recruits. Upon completion, usually about six months, they earn a graduation where they’re offered an opportunity to join The Devil's Doves. Graduates can also opt to return home and help in their respective communities, which we provide assistance within whatever endeavors they want to pursue. Our goal is to create a better place and better women. Equip them with resources and personal strength to take on the world. We make Warriors.
Those who wish to enlist get the title of Squab, aka Prospect. From there they would have to show continued personal growth before they are given Dove, aka Full Patch, status. The services at the Krigarakademin are also granted to every member of the Doves and their families, and this is where I can make the corny joke that not only am I the president, but I’m also a client.
So I asked you guys to send me questions either through my DMs or CuriousCat, and the first question I got was a two-parter. “Do you have any dream matches or opponents, and what were your best matches and opponents?” Dream matches, not anymore. That isn’t to say I feel like I’ve done it all. I just look at the business differently now. I used to look at the wrestling business as a way of defining myself. I was a wrestler first above all else. When you’re starting out, you want that desire, you want that hunger so you’ll fight your way to the top. Nowadays, I do it because it’s fun. I still get to travel all over, get to see you guys, get to hear Judgement Day REALLY loud and hear you guys even louder than that. It’s a feeling you don’t get to experience in any other way. Dream opponents, again no. Honestly there’s SO many wrestlers today, and so many companies, I don’t know anybody anymore. With that said, with me out of the loop with a lot of it, I don’t have anyone I can think of that I say “I want to fight that person”. I’ll admit, for a long time, I had a few people I wanted to give receipts to, but I’m over that now.
Favorite matches and opponents? I think the series of matches Crystal Alvarez and I had in WWA will always be special to me. The way we were able to make every match mean something and do different things was awesome. I have to get out to San Diego soon to see her and Tara. As cool as those matches were, favorite match bar none - and you know I’m being honest because despite the fact my brain is shit, this date is burned in. February 25th, 2020. New Frontier Wrestling Invasion card, against Morgan Payne in a deathmatch. Half the ropes were barbed wire, C4 everywhere and I think I landed on every single one. I seem to recall it took a package driver through a table of light tubes and C4 to - no I kept going after that. Morgan just made the ten count after I couldn’t go anymore, that’s what it was. It took a long time to appreciate that match for what it was. I don’t think it’s been beat for scariest physical contest since. Morgan and I have a pained history, but I love her even if it isn’t mutual. I kinda did do that splitting thing and said some really stupid things on a few occasions.
What is my guilty pleasures? Red M&Ms! I’m kidding, it’s because of another question I was asked. If you know, you know. Guilty pleasures, for me, come from different areas of my life. Like, if we’re talking food, I’m a pineapple on pizza girl. Come at me. Chocolate of all sorts, gummy candy. Totally bad for you but I get excited for it. This one will get me heat, but you know those cute videos of kids where they end up hurting themselves over stupid things? I can binge-watch those for hours, they crack me up so bad. If we’re talking the naughty stuff, pain. Choke me, slap me, drill me until my insides are applesauce, it’ll be VERY obvious that I’m getting off on it. And I bet my DMs are going to blow up now because yes, I AM single.
This question came from the Doves, I had to call them out on this, but it was did Ricky and I do the deed? So, if you follow me on social media, you’d know I went on a date with Ricky Stanton last night. It was a wonderful time and I was glad to meet the more humbler version of the man you all see publicly. As for if anything happened other than that? Honestly, it’s none of anybody’s business. People are going to speculate regardless so my answer is simply - no comment.
Where do I get my ideas for my merch and what was my biggest seller? I have a company out of Atlantic City, GFXMonkees, that will pitch ideas, or sometimes they’ll get messages I leave at like four in the morning from me going “I want to do this” and usually within hours there are mockups done which I can agree or veto and off to the printing company who makes my shirts. Best seller would have to be the You Are Warrior design I put out earlier this year, which beat out the Mew World Order shirt I put out back in WWA. I think, at the time, I was selling six-to-one against everyone else. The shows were packed with fans wearing them, it was awesome. The Warrior shirts got a larger audience so in terms of sales, it beats the mWo one but as far as impact, it’s mWo 4 Life.
Alright, I think I’m going to wrap this up here. It took a lot longer to record than what you’ll hear, but I wanted to both make sure it was everything I wanted to say, and well that crying bit. Thank you to everyone who listened this long. Olive out.