The House Presents: HOUSE PARTY

[FN'R]

WARNING: This live event contains strong coarse language (L), and intense violence (V) which may be unsuitable for younger viewers. None of the matches you are about to watch have been predetermined. Only some of the thematic story-lines have been discussed beforehand. Accordingly, EWC and it's producers must insist that no one attempt to recreate or re-enact any match or activity performed in this live event.

T H E  E X T R E M E  W R E S T L I N G  C O R P O R A T I O N  C O - P R E S E N T
T HE  H O U S E  P R E S E N T
A N  O F F  S E A S O N  P A Y - P E R - V I E W  E V E N T

THE HOUSE PARTY

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JANUARY 17TH 2024
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LIVE! from THE SAFEHOUSE in NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK

THE HOUSE PARTY

Commentators: Marcus Woo & Valentina Gomez
Backstage Reporter: Ace Heart & Pepper Montana

Announcer: Nina Dobrev
Senior Referee: Toyo Yasahiro
Referees: John Dean & Niklaus Forbes

We cut in from black looking at the capacity crowd in The SAFEHOUSE, even though the spacing is limited, they are making as much noise as a sold out MSG. Most of the fans in attendance are wearing The House merchandise, and it seems highly likely this will be a pro-House crowd. A "HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE" chant breaks out followed by "EWC EWC EWC". The crowd begin to stomp their feet and the entire building shakes at its foundation. That's a hot crowd folks. 

The House-Tron fires to life and shows every current member of The House:


ALASTOR GRAY

JACK SEVERN

JOJO RUSH

CALLIE CLARK

COSMO GOLDWORTHY

CHRIS PAGE

EDDIE DOZIER

HEAT PACKERS

NEXT LEVEL

CALLUM MACBETH

TORI TAYLOR

BRUCE BOOTH

TYLER BRADFORD

JAMIE LOVE

A round of pyro hit and the crowd go wild. We cut over to the commentary booth.

Woo: Hello folks, and welcome to House Party. An experimental PPV of sorts. The House defeated Team EWC at ONE, and now they get this produce show. 

Gomez: With a pretty banger card, this show looks to be one for the ages. You're joining us now on a special pre-show presentation.

Woo: Later in the show Callum Macbeth makes his EWC Debut, but for now you've got us to hype the event. 

Gomez: In the opening match, Grizzly Duggan and JoJo Rush collide again after their monstrous bash at ONE. These two face off in a match that will not end until one man says to the other "I respect you"... and honestly these men might die before they agree to those terms. 

Woo: Will be an insane death match and the best pissing match of the year no doubt. After that, Jamie Love and Luke Saito clash in a Rampage VS Rampage match, that was specifically requested by Luke Saito. 

Gomez: After that, we've got a match that could main event any PPV you can name. It's BlastCase holder Morgan Darkwater taking on The Catalyst of the House, Jack Severn. Incoming five star banger.  

Woo: After that, we cool things down with a more silly match. It's Chris Page taking on Eddie Dozier in a five minute iron man match with Tyler Bradford serving as special guest ref. 

Gomez: In before the match goes down to sudden death with five falls each! After that we are staying silly with a giant Clusterfuck match, and the winner gets to star in a movie!

Woo: Wonder what the movie will be! After that, we are back to serious as The House Hunters return to action after months away. Joining them is a mysterious new member. They take on The Heat Packers and Next Level. 

Gomez: After that, The new-found Queen of EWC Callie Clark takes on a Paramount Pariah in Marcu Double Dollar Sign T Period John in a champs vs champs bout. 

Woo: Really living the gimmick there Gomez. And then our main event. Shinijoshi's newest member El Pablo clashes with The House's money man Cosmo Goldworthy. That's going to be a main event we remember for years to come!

Gomez: And now we head to The Opening bout. Callum Macbeth's debut!

As if on cue, the feed then switches to the ring.

Woo: This young man Callum has a bright future ahead, but first he has to topple DOUG IN A BARREL!

Gomez: If he falls here, he might never make it back to the EWC. And what a rotten start to the year that would be for The House!

We are ready for it to begin as DOUG IN A BARREL begins making his entrance- ONLY FOR IT TO BE INTERRUPTED BY CALLUM MACBETH ATTACKING HIM FROM BEHIND! Callum hits DOUG IN A BARREL with a vicious Glasgow Kiss headbutt and then rolls him down the ramp, and then tosses him into the steel steps! Callum viciously stops onto DOUG IN A BARREL’s barrel, and pieces of it begin to break off! Callum tosses DOUG IN A BARREL, who is now showing a little too much of himself to the audience, into the ring.

The bell sounds and Callum immediately charges forward with a rolling elbow into DOUG IN A BARREL. As DOUG IN A BARREL doubles over, Callum hits him with a swinging neckbreaker! Callum waits for DOUG IN A BARREL to get up… and hits him with a shotgun dropkick! Callum begins elbowing DOUG IN A BARREL in the corner with vicious elbows, busting him open! John Dean pulls Callum off, and Callum shoves the ref away, yelling various curses. John reminds Callum that he can disqualify him, and Callum just tells him to shut the fuck up. Callum then waits for the bloody and disoriented DOUG IN A BARREL to get up again… and this time he charges forward with Something Wicked! The big spear connects, but Callum doesn’t make the pin. Instead, Callum completely shatters the barrel, and the audience is exposed to the naked ass of now just DOUG. Callum lifts the naked DOUG up into a Hooligan Style Piledriver! The Scottish Savage makes the cover and picks up an easy win! He proceeds to take out his PRIME contract and sign it in DOUG IN A BARREL’s blood!

Woo: It’s official! Callum MacBeth is coming to PRIME!

Gomez: I wish I could unsee DOUG IN A BARREL’s wrinkly ballsack.

Woo: I wish I could’ve seen more of it, to be honest. Just like I can’t wait to see more of what House Party has in store! There’s an excellent card coming your way very soon! JoJo Rush takes on Grizzly Duggan! Callie Clark collides with Marcu$ $t. John! And in the main event, Cosmo Goldworthy faces off with El Pablo! You DO NOT want to miss this!

Gomez: You fucking freak.

[FN'R]

We cut to the HouseTron, where a quote appears and inspirational music plays.

"All dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney

Then... another quote.

"Fuck that mouse guy, your dreams can only come true at the House Gym." - Jack Severn

"Are you ready to realize your dreams?"

The music turns into some epic 80s workout music as we see Alastor Gray and various House members training with young students, one of which being the man we just saw, Callum MacBeth. 

"Learn from pro wrestling's best and brightest"

We cut to Next Level doing some flippy shit on a student while JoJo Rush, who has a student in a headlock, looks on disapprovingly. 

"The only school where you can learn every style..."

Cut to a Callum MacBeth beating the ever living fuck out of another student, while Alastor Gray watches on and smiles.

"But most importantly, The House style"

Cut to a bunch of students doing neck bridges.

"We give you all the tools you need to be a star"

Cut to various images of House members.

"Can you join the ranks of the biggest stars in wrestling?"

Cut to Alastor Gray, torturing a poor student in a submission.

"Led by head trainer, 'The General' Alastor Gray"

"The House Gym: It All Starts Here"

The advertisement fades out as we cut to...

[FN'R]

Backstage we see The House Hunters standing around a locker-room. Hiroyoshi Fujinami is wearing a big smile on his face while they talk to someone just out of view.

Jon Snow: I'm telling you. With you on our side, we cannot fail!

?? Don't get overly cocky boy.

Jon Snow: I'm just pumped! I've not wrestled in months and today we make The House pay!

?? :You never learn boy. If you keep it up, you will be the one to lose the match later on today.

The person shoves past Hiroyoshi, and we can finally see the newest member of The House Hunters in all their glory.

Sadao Iha: Winning doesn't matter. Pain. That's what matters. Focus on beating The House to bits. Winning is secondary.

With that, they walk off leaving Hiroyoshi standing puzzled, Jon Snow standing hurt over being called boy and Captain EWC daydreaming about butterflies.

[FN'R]

Remarkable Mark Keaton walks towards the camera. Rolling hills and trees dominate the background as the sexual beast swaggers his way forward. He runs a hand through his blond hair and sneers.

RMK: There's a House Party going on right now, dudes. How can you have a house party without the king of party animals himself? ME!

Mark cracks open a Molson Canadian Beer and takes a big swig of it, the foam drips out of the side of his mouth and he wipes it away with his wrist.

RMK: I'm really sorry I couldn't be there to compete dudes, but The House couldn't afford me for their little special pay per view joke show. I was a House Slayer last year so they're pretty afraid of the Moist Beefcake, baby!

The sky immediately darkens behind Mark and a fog rolls in. The giant figure of Morden Crypt walks through the fog.

Morden Crypt:The Prime debut approaches, Father. We must prepare to collect the souls of the unworthy mortals who walk these plains. They will be crushed under our boots.

RMK: Chill out, son. Have a beer.

Mark holds a beer out for his giant, masked son. Morden looks at the beer curiously but then turns and walks back into the fog.

RMK: Your loss, man. All the more for me.

Mark sat there and enjoyed the rest of his twelve pack. It was a long segment of just him drinking beer and slowly getting drunk.

[FN'R]

We return to ringside where ring crew is quickly leaving the scene ahead of an absolute bloodbath opener. 

Woo: I don't know who booked this as the opening match, but these two may tear down the entire building before we've even had the full show!

Gomez: You can say that again. These crazy sons of bitches are gonna go crazy. 

Dobrev: The following match is RESPECT ME DEATH MATCH! Joining us first, from Columbia, South Carolina, weighing in at 385 pounds, The Rampage General Manager and EWC Hall Of Famer, He is The Rampaging Monster ... GRIZZLY DUGGAN!

"Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward
Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both
For a wounded man will shall say to his assailant
"If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven"
Such is the rule of honor"

As the instrumental starts to key up to kick off Omerta proper, Grizzly Duggan heads out from the back to a large reaction of boos from The House faithful. The Rampaging Monster makes his way down to the ring, where he steps up onto the ring apron and then steps over the top rope into the ring. Grizzly walks to the middle of the ring and raises his arms in taunt.

Dobrev: And his opponent, from PLA... uh... Folks. I have just been informed JoJo Rush is NOT in the building. He's on the way from his honeymoon and said Duggan, uh... wasn't no rush to worry about. 

Duggan glares at Dobrev with rage before stepping over the top rope and heading back to the back, knocking shit over in his wake. A new graphic pops up on the HouseTron. 

Woo: Well it looks like JoJo Rush's mindgames continue, and now we've got Jamie Love Vs Luke Saito coming up!

Gomez: This will be a fun opening match. 

Dobrev: The following match is set for one fall. Joining us first, being accompanied by Luna Knight Saito, weighing at 156 lbs... from Brooklyn, NY.... LUKE ‘ThE JOKER’ SAITO!

The lights in the arena are slowly going off and on as on the top of the ramp only to see Luke standing there with his shades on his face with his long black coat on and standing behind him is Luna wearing the same coat but she has a hood with her and wearing the hood over her head. He grabs her hand and has her standing in front of her as he slowly removes her hood off her head as they both grin.

They both started walking down to the ramp together when the words “Rise” came blasting over the speakers. Luna was playing with the crowd as Luke kept walking slowly down to the ramp. Luna gets to the bottom as she stands on the outside of the ring while Luke stands behind her on top of the apron as the lights flash like crazy on the words “Rise” they put up a fist together. Luna then climbs inside of the ring with him and helps him out of his jacket. She holds it as they bump their heads together like they were praying before the match. She gives him a small kiss before climbing out of the ring as he starts to test the ropes.

Dobrev: And the opponent, residing in Takayama, Japan and weighing in at 165 pounds, he represents The House, he is... JAMIE LOVE!

The arena plunges into darkness as a haunting piano melody can be heard over the sound system. As the beat starts at 11 seconds a spotlight shines on Sara Rische playing an expensive Grand Piano to the left of the stage. She plays for 10 seconds when a second spotlight shines on Jamie Love as he enters the arena to a chorus of boos as his body guard John Bishop stands behind him. He walks down the aisle with JB following closely behind him, glancing out at the live audience, smirking at the with disdain in the shadows of the House hoodie he has on. As he climbs into the ring Sara makes her way down to ringside. He hands Sara his hoodie and stretches in the corner as his opponent stares at him with an irritated look in their eyes.

DING DING DING

Jamie runs at Luke and grabs him into a sleeper hold. Luke tries to twist his way free but Jamie drops Luke to the mat with a DDT. Luke gets to his feet but Jamie runs off the ropes hitting a basement dropkick to Luke’s knees that sends him dropping to the mat into a raised fist from Jamie. Luke clutches at his jaw as Jamie slips to the middle turnbuckle. As Luke gets to his feet, Jamie leaps cracking Luke in the head with a spinning back elbow. Luke drops to the mat where Jamie makes a cover.

ONE…



TWO…



THR… NO! KICK OUT!

Luke lifts a shoulder off the mat to break the count. Jamie lifts Luke to his feet but Luke shoves him away and punches Jamie in the jaw. He runs off the ropes and cracks Jamie with a high knee. Luke lifts Jamie for a side suplex but Jamie rolls over his shoulder to his feet. Luke turns and knocks Jamie down with a roundhouse kick. Luke grabs Jamie’s arm and drags him to his feet smacking him with a second high knee. Jamie drops to the mat where Luke hooks the leg.

ONE…



TWO…



THR… NO! KICK OUT!

Jamie lifts a shoulder off the mat accidentally hitting Luke with a low blow. The referee calls for the bell.

DING DING DING

Dobrev: And your winner, via disqualification... LUKE….!

With one hand clutching his sudden injury, Luke pleads his case to the ring announcer and to the referee. The referee waves the finish off. The match continues.

Woo: As a call, it’s a soft one!

Gomez: Most likely the referee felt the same and that’s why this match has been restarted. However I doubt the ref would be so lenient should it happen again.

Luke smacks Jamie with a right hand and lays into Jamie with a series of right hands. Jamie tries to cover up as Luke continues laying into him. Jamie grabs Luke’s leg his own dropping Luke to the mat. Jamie grabs Luke applying a kneebar. Luke screams in pain as Jamie wrenches at the hold. Luke manages to get a hand onto the ropes. Jamie holds the hold a little longer before breaking on four. Luke uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet. Jamie grabs him and lifts him into the air. Luke manages to land on his feet but Jamie kicks out with a strong style kick to the knee. Luke staggers into the corner. Jamie charges at him but Luke ducks and Jamie crashes into the corner. Jamie turns as Luke climbs hitting ten punches into the corner. He climbs down and hits more right hands and elbows. The referee tries to move both from the corner. Instinctively, Luke shoves the referee to the mat.

DING DING DING

Dobrev: And your winner, via disqualification... JAMIE….!

This time it’s Jamie that pleads his case to the ring announcer and to the referee. The referee throws his hands in the air and whispers into Dobrev’s ear.

Dobrev: Ladies and gentlemen. I have just been informed that this match will continue… as a NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH!

Woo: At least it won’t end on another flimsy disqualification.

Gomez: I can understand the calls but this is a House Party. We don’t end a House Party on a dq, even if this isn’t the main event, we end on a fight!

Luke tosses Jamie against the ropes and he knocks Jamie down with a clothesline. As Jamie sits up, Luke bounces off the ropes and comes at him with an elbow to the jaw. He picks up Jamie and lifts Jamie for a Power Bomb. Jamie then grabs his head and flipped him over into a sitout jawbreaker. With Luke laid out on his back Jamie climbs to the top rope and comes down from the top with a hard elbow to the back of his head. Jamie makes a cover

ONE…



TWO…



THR… NO! KICK OUT!

With a sick grin on his face, Luke lifts a shoulder up off the mat. Jamie rolls from the ring and grabs a chair smacking it against the ringpost in frustration. He slides into the ring as Luke climbs to the top rope. As Luke flies down, Jamie moves out of the way. Luke tucks and rolls. When Jamie turned around, he turns right into a super kick to the face from Luke. Luke then spins him around again and gives him another hard super kick to the face sending him the ropes where the momentum sends him sailing to the outside of the ring. On the outside, Jamie gets to his feet as Luke flies at him from the top turnbuckle. Jamie manages to catch him dropping him down across the ringside barrier. Jamie grabs Luke and throws him back into the ring apron with something akin to a Russian leg sweep. Jamie lifts up the dented chair and lashes out at Luke. He rolls to avoid the incoming chair. Luke gets to his feet but Jamie stabs the chair into his gut before bringing it down across Luke’s back. Jamie rolls him into the ring and follows him making a cover.

ONE…



TWO…



THR… NO! KICK OUT!

Luke rolls to his side breaking the count. Jamie rolls to ringside and grabs a fresh chair. As he gets into the ring, Luke kicks the middle rope. Jamie drops the chair as he needs his hands for… other things. Luke grabs Jamie and brings him down onto the chair with a DDT. He makes a cover.

ONE…



TWO…



THR… NO! KICK OUT!

Jamie pushes his way free to break the count.

Woo: What a match this is!

Gomez: And we’re still not done! I’m excited to see what is next in this contest.

As Luke goes to pin Jamie again. Diana places Jamie’s foot right on the ropes. Luna starts running right after her around the ring. They speed around in circles covering at least five laps of the ring as both men stand watching their halves just chasing each other for a bit. Luna stops as Jamie is tries to get her attention to tell Diana to stop but it was too late. Luna clotheslines her right down to the floor with a bit of a smirk. A masked person jumps over the barrier coming up from behind her and he give Luna a backbreaker to the floor. Luna is holding her back a bit as the masked person is standing there as Jason Anderson comes running from the back. Jason jumps at the masked man. They exchange blows as they battle their way back up the ramp a sea of officials attempt to separate them. Luke stands watching everything unfold before him. Jamie smacks him across the back with the chair and rolls him up with a school boy. The referee counts.

ONE…



TWO…



THR… NO! KICK OUT!

Luke rolls his way free and to his feet. He rises right in front of Jamie who cracks him with a knee smash to the jaw. Luke staggers a little. Jamie grabs his arm and rolls into a Cross Armbreaker. Luke screams in pain as Jamie pulls on the arm with all he can. Luke lifts his arm thinking about a submission. Instead of finding the mat, Luke finds the chair. He grabs the chair and smacks Jamie with it again and again until he has to release the hold. Luke gets to his feet clutching at his left shoulder. Jamie grabs him from behind and wraps his arms around Luke’s waist. Jamie bounces Luke off the ropes rolling him up with an O’Connor roll. The referee counts.

ONE…



TWO…



THR… NO! KICK OUT!

Luke grabs Jamie rolling him up.

ONE…



TWO…



THR… NO! KICK OUT!

Jamie twists rolling Luke into a school boy.

ONE…



TWO…



THR… NO! KICK OUT!

Luke rolls free grabbing Jamie’s legs into a roll up.

ONE…



TWO…



THR… NO! KICK OUT!

Jamie pushes at the back of Luke’s head rolling him up.

ONE…



TWO…



THR… NO! KICK OUT!

Luke kicks forward and they roll. He grabs at Jamie’s legs his knees holding down Jamie’s shoulders

ONE…



TWO…



THR… NO! KICK OUT!

Jamie manages to push his way free breaking the count. Both men lay on the mat for a moment. Jamie sits his head up but drops back down. Luke pulls himself to his feet and he grabs Jamie’s arms leaping into The Joker. Jamie screams in pain as his hands and legs try to reach a rope. It’s not happening. Luke looks around him and prepares to fully wrench on Jamie’s arms. Before he can, Diana reaches into the ring and grabs Jamie’’s ankle and pulls him out of the ring. As Diana helps Jamie to his feet, Luke rolls out of the opposite side of the ring. He runs around half of the ring before diving through the ropes into Jamie with what looked like a spear. Luke gets to his feet and playfully teases Diana blowing her kisses ass she get in his face. Luke grabs Jamie and throws him back into the ring. Luke climbs to the ring apron and springs back into the ring hitting Jamie with a Joker Poker Face. He makes a cover.

ONE…



TWO…



THR… NO! KICK OUT!

Jamie just manages to roll to his side to break the count. He keeps on rolling to the outside.

Woo: He may not be pinned but after a shot like that he may end up being counted out!

Gomez: I don’t know anymore with this match. We’ve had dqs, masked men, multiple roll ups, the ringside grand prix and this match is STILL in progress!

Jamie pulls a table from under the ring and slides it into the ring. He then reaches back under the ring pulling out a blood covered kendo stick. Jamie slides into the ring and smacks Luke across the head with said kendo stick knocking Luke to the mat. Jamie turns a bleeding Luke over and hits a series of forearms to the bloodied area before setting up the table. He lifts Luke to his feet but Luke hits elbows to Jamie’s gut and smacks his head off the table. Jamie slumps to the mat. Luke grabs the kendo stick and smacks a now bleeding Jamie across the head with it. Luke turns the stick and starts choking Jamie with it. Jamie grabs Luke’s legs and lifts him up. Jamie drives Luke back first into the corner. The impact causes him to release the kendo stick as Jamie strikes with back elbow after back elbow to a trapped Luke. Jamie leads him to the table, Before Jamie can do anything, Luke backdrops Jamie sending both crashing through the table. Both lay on the mat surrounded by table debris. Slowly they begin to move. They start dragging themselves from the wreckage toward the ropes. They start to pull themselves to their feet. Luke drops to the mat and…

DING DING DING

Dobrev: Ladies and gentlemen, the time limit has expired. The referee has declared this contest... A DRAW!

Medical and officials run to the ring checking on both men. Jamie and Luke stagger to the middle of the ring. They uneasily look at each other before both extend a cautious hand to the other. A very brief handshake and they both roll from opposite sides of the ring.

Woo: A draw! I don’t know how to feel about that. Part of me says I want five more minutes. The other part of me looks at them and isn’t sure they can go another five minutes. This last twenty were grueling!

Gomez: I hope when both are recovered that EWC runs this one back! This was a war and I want to be ringside for the rematch!

Woo: Lets get Duggan back out here and demand he book it at the Rampage opener!

Gomez: I don't really wanna deal with Duggan right now when he's in a tizzy... 

Camera cuts to ...

[FN'R]

The video begins with a vent opening being kicked down from the ceiling of the catering room. Just then a figure quickly descends and lands on the floor. As the figure rises it becomes clear it’s a woman in a mask and having been waiting there beside her standing is Vertigo. Judging by the hair, mannerisms, and the fact that her mask is flamboyantly displaying deuces fingers from each side from her mask to do the Shinijoshi hand sign, one could easily assume who this woman is. She seems surprised that Vertigo has reached where she is to wait for her.

La Espectra: Ah Vertigo, I see you have already managed to infiltrate this place, your talents are beyond measure. I apologize for doubting you, as I didn’t see you in the air tunnel of steel, I thought you didn’t remember the plan to meet.

Vertigo crosses his arms without response as the camera expands to show there really isn’t any security at all. Undeterred by Vertigo’s silence the woman plays with the feather boa attached to her mask as she swings it all around like an exotic dancer.

La Espectra: Ohoho, it is I! The specter that all the spectators spectate, La Espectra!!!!!! Now that we Shinijoshi have been joined by El Pablo and sir Vertigo, we now have been empowered to reach the joshi apex of commandeering influence from lucha with wonderful masks! And I choose to use this to give myself a senshi transformation that makes me faster and more tricky than ever! And you best believe with this power vested in me from great luchadors, I intend to be spectated in the Cruiserweight Collision tournament!

She stops her fun mannerisms and her voice becomes serious with that last mention , at least as sternly voiced as Narumi gets, and even Vertigo subtly turns his head to listen to that and what she says next.

La Espectra: But know this is only one of my many forms as a magical girl of the yokai. Jojo you House scum, know that my outlaw mud show form will be fighting towards that Hardcore Championship! Joshi have been known for their wild acts of violence, bloodshed, and over the top explosions in our wildly showy antics, and it’s time I step into this style in earnest!

She gets back to her playful stance and points to the camera with the zeal of a superhero as Vertigo begins looking back to the floor in dejection at her messing around.

La Espectra: But for tonight, I stop the House’s plot in another manner that will devastate them to the core! Housers….Don’t think I am not aware that you plan to give the EWC roster food poisoning with icky food choices that’ll give people stomach pain and have their heads spinning like they have a bad case of my friend’s name over here.

She smiles at her own reference to Vertigo as she points to him while he shows no signs of being impressed. The masked woman then knocks down a small plate of food from a table and cackles as if she has devastated the House.

La Espectra: Now you know how the EWC feels when you all insist on messing up property and ruining plans with your acts of arson and mayhem!

The masked joshi, satisfied, grabs her boa and flails it about to her own amusement and stands triumph playfully near Vertigo.

La Espectra: This is only the beginning of what is to come for you Housers this season. Let us be off, VERTIGO!

She exclaims Vertigo’s name as if summoning a Pokémon. She runs off pointing as a brooding Vertigo has no choice but to slowly follow behind her as the show continues.

[FN'R]

We return to ringside and cut up to the HouseTron.

Woo: This show is just gonna keep trucking along, as we’re heading to a live feed from Alastor Gray’s private island for a very special contest!

Gomez: That’s right, and this is sure to be not only a strange match, but a brutal one as well!

Dobrev: The following contest is a BURIED TREASURE MATCH! Both Captain Morgan Darkwater and Jack Severn will start at opposite ends of the island, and will have to follow a map to find the buried treasure! Once the treasure is found, anything inside the chest can be used as a weapon! The only way to win is to incapacitate your opponent, lock them in the chest, and bury them alive!

On the extreme tron, we see a helicopter landing on the east end of the island. Jack Severn steps out, dressed in pirate-like attire, with heavy boots, baggy pants, an opened up white shirt, and a leather vest. He carries both of Darkwater’s old championships, the TV and International titles, over his shoulders. He smirks and gives a nod to the helicopter pilot, who takes off. Jack looks over the horizon on the west end of the island, and then takes a walkie talkie off of his belt.

Jack: I take it you haven’t left yet? Great job! I bet he’s so pissed about the “engine trouble…”

Pilot: Yes, but… Um, sir… He hasn't shown up yet.

Jack: What do you mean?!

Pilot: The helicopter isn’t taking off, just like you asked, but… There’s no sign of Darkwater anywhere.

Jack: Well… That’s a good thing, right?! I mean, the old fart probably just forgot about the match! I still win by forfeit and-

Jack stops mid-sentence as a shape comes in through the horizon of the west end. Coming towards the cliffside, is a massive ship, bearing the name “Esmerelda’s Revenge!” Jack just stares in shock as the ship sails up to the cliff, and none other than Captain Morgan Darkwater stands on the bridge, sharpened shovel strapped to his back, and looking through a spyglass! Jack’s shock turns to a smile, though, as he realizes Darkwater still has no safe way to get onto the island. The ship isn’t anywhere close to a beach or a dock. But just as he thinks he’s won again, Darkwater fires a grappling hook from a cannon on the ship! It hooks into the cliff, and Darkwater begins to use it to scale the cliff and get onto the island!

Jack: …Fuck that’s cool.

Jack quickly holds his walkie talkie back up and begins screaming into it.

Jack: GREAT FUCKING HELP YOU WERE! YOU’RE FIRED!

Jack tosses the walkie talkie and takes out a map, beginning his hike to the buried treasure. Meanwhile, Darkwater makes it onto the island after scaling the cliff, and he takes out his copy of the map. As a drone flies overhead, we see that Jack’s path is noticeably more clear than Darkwater’s. The Captain sighs, chuckles to himself, and grins, ready for the challenge.

DING DING DING

The match officially begins, and on the east side of the island, Jack is following the map, humming “Mah Na Mah Na” from The Muppet Show to himself. He jumps over a small rock, laughing to himself about how little danger is in his casual stroll to the north side of the island, which features the beach with the buried treasure. He starts talking to the stolen championships on his shoulders.

Jack: This is gonna be a piece of cake, right belt-o #1 and belt-o #2?

Jack chuckles to himself again, patting the titles.

Meanwhile, Morgan Darkwater is having to narrowly avoid mines (yes, literal bombs), cut through poisonous-to-the-touch plants, and fight off feral animals. But being the brave and adventurous pirate he is, Darkwater overcomes, and despite being slowed down a bit due to both his age and the dangerous forest he has to traverse, he still makes good enough pace to be able to keep up with Jack Severn across the island. We even see Morgan swinging from vines like he’s fucking Tarzan in order to catch up. Eventually Darkwater gets his good leg stuck in the sand, and as he tries to pull it out, he finds himself sinking… Quicksand! As Darkwater sinks, he uses the shovel that was strapped to his back and stabs it firmly into the ground, using it as leverage to pull his 400 pound body up. Once he’s out, he shakes his head and grimaces, and then proceeds to move on.

Jack Severn reaches the north end of the island first, places his stolen championships over a nearby rock, and begins digging with the shovel placed next to the giant ‘X’ on the beach. As he digs, however, he sees Morgan Darkwater coming down from the west end! Jack comically tries to dig faster, but Darkwater runs towards him at an alarming pace! Jack stops digging once it becomes clear Darkwater is trying to do a massive running lariat, and he swings at Darkwater with his shovel! But Darkwater ducks it and tackles Jack down into the beach!

The Captain starts swinging at Jack on the ground, but Jack manages to just barely get the massive man off of him by pushing his shovel up against his throat! Jack scrambles over to the ‘X’ and starts digging with his hands, but Darkwater is quick to get back to his feet and come behind Jack. Out of desperation, Jack tosses sand into Darkwater’s eyes! The pirate yells and tries to clear his eyes out, but Jack goes right for a low blow. The Captain just looks extra pissed off now, just like at Parabellum 2022! Jack doesn’t waste time, however, and low blows Darkwater again, and this time Morgan doubles over slightly, but as Jack goes for a third, he grabs Jack by the shoulders and lifts him up! Darkwater squeezes Jack tight in a massive bearhug, and Jack struggles against the grip, but eventually falls limp. Darkwater’s grip loosens, but only to transition into a powerslam on Jack! The pain shooting up Jack’s spine wakes him right up, and he rolls around in the sand. Jack gets to his knees, but Darkwater sends him right back down with a big boot! Darkwater points for Jack to stay where he is while he digs.

Morgan grabs his trusty sharpened shovel, and begins digging further into the ground, but he stops as he sees something approaching the island. It’s another pirate ship! As the ship reaches the sandbank, a group of around six or nine pirates hop off onto the island and walk towards Darkwater and the downed Jack Severn. They’re all armed with guns and swords!

Pirate Captain: We heard there be treasure!

The pirates point their weapons at Darkwater.

Pirate Captain: Dig for us!

Darkwater begins digging some more, and once he hits the wood of the treasure chest… he turns around and tosses the shovel at the pirates! Before anyone knows it, he picks Jack Severn up… And tosses him into the pirates too! It’s like a fucking bowling scene as Darkwater now charges into the rest of the standing pirates, tackling them down with double lariats. The Captain takes the other pirate captain, lifting him up by the throat, and chokeslamming him hard into the sand with the Hangman’s Noose! Morgan then grabs his shovel… and stabs the other captain with it in the leg! The other pirate captain yelps in pain as Morgan grabs a gun and shoots it in the air a few times, scaring the other pirates away. They drag their fallen captain out to their ship.

Darkwater: And don’t ever come back, or may ye know the wrath of the Brawlin’ Buccaneer!

Darkwater moves back to the treasure chest as the pirate ship begins sailing away, and he lifts the person-sized chest out of the hole. But as he opens it…

He finds that it’s completely empty! Shocked for a moment and distracted, MORGAN IS SUDDENLY STABBED IN THE SIDE BY JACK SEVERN! JACK CACKLES AS BLOOD SEEPS FROM MORGAN’S SIDE… But The Captain is barely phased! If anything, he’s just pissed off that the whole “weapons in the chest” thing was a lie! Darkwater roars as he takes the knife out of his side and tries to stab Jack with it! Jack dodges, but he then grabs Darkwater’s own hand, and drives the knife into The Captain’s shoulder! Jack rips the knife out and immediately stabs it into Darkwater’s hand, stomping on it as Darkwater now finally starts to feel the effects of his wounds and falls to his knees.

Jack grabs his own shovel and cracks it over Darkwater’s back a few times! Jack yells at Darkwater to just stay down, but Darkwater keeps beginning to rise back up, despite everything! Jack continues to stomp on Darkwater’s shoulder and hand, before taking out his good leg with his shovel! Jack turns over to the treasure chest, dumping it back into the hole. He keeps it open, however, and then walks over to the rock where he laid the stolen championships over. Jack lines Darkwater up for a championship shot to the face, but as he charges forward, something about seeing Jack hold his former title causes Darkwater to gain a second wind, and he rises up, catching Jack with a massive forearm smash from his non-injured left arm. Jack stumbles back, dropping the championship, and Darkwater proceeds to hit him with a DDT onto the title! Jack’s face smashes right into the title, and Darkwater, bleeding and aching, grabs Jack by the throat, readying him for the Hangman’s Noose into the treasure chest, just as he promised!

Jack, however, is able to fight back now, attacking Morgan’s wounded right shoulder and hand while he’s in the air. Morgan drops Jack, and Jack lands on his feet, and then hits a Codebreaker onto Morgan! The Captain only stumbles back from this, but Jack jumps up and drops an elbow right onto the shoulder of the standing Darkwater, and he cries out and clutches his arm. Jack then hits Darkwater with a Dragon Screw on his now not-so-good-but-still-better-than-the-other-one leg, and Darkwater collapses to his knees. Jack lines Darkwater up for the Silencer… BUT DARKWATER CATCHES HIM! DARKWATER SLAMS JACK INTO HIS KNEE FOR A LAST DITCH EFFORT BACKBREAKER!

Jack rolls in pain as Darkwater takes a moment to catch his breath, cursing and clutching his stab wounds. Darkwater takes the opportunity to try something risky… He does a short run towards Jack, looking for a splash, but finds nothing but sands and rocks as Jack rolls out of the way at the last second! Just as Darkwater hits the sand, Jack transitions into a crossface submission on him! Jack wrenches on Darkwater’s shoulder and back, as Darkwater fights to overpower Jack… AND BOY OH BOY DOES HE, AS DARKWATER MANAGES TO STAND WITH JACK ON HIS SHOULDERS! Jack realizes the position he’s in, and scrambles to get vertical so he can lock Darkwater into a sleeper hold. Morgan keeps Jack in a torture rack for a few seconds, but after pressing down on his right shoulder wound, Jack is able to get vertical and wrap his arms around Morgan’s head for a sleeper!

The Captain begins to fade, dropping to his knees… Jack drops down, AND KNEES DARKWATER IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Darkwater collapses, finally. Jack rolls Darkwater into the chest, and goes to shut the lid…

BUT DARKWATER CATCHES THE LID AND BEGINS TO RISE FROM WITHIN THE TREASURE CHEST!

Hate fills The Captain’s eyes as he reaches out and grabs Jack by the throat! But Jack digs his fingers into the wound on Morgan’s right hand, and Morgan is forced to take his hand off of Jack’s throat! As Darkwater clutches his hand, Jack hits him with a spinning backfist, followed by a superkick! Darkwater doubles over… LEAVING HIM IN PERFECT POSITION FOR THE SILENCER! JACK’S KNEE CLOCKS DARKWATER’S HEAD AND HE COLLAPSES INTO THE CHEST! Jack shuts the lid, and we have a winner!

DING DING DING

Dobrev: Here is your winner… JACK SEVERN!!!

Jack cackles and begins piling sand onto the chest. He grabs the championships he stole from Morgan, and holds them high as he steps onto the chest.

Woo: What a unique match that was! Somehow, someway, Jack Severn has survived the onslaught of Captain Morgan Darkwater! But was it a fair victory? That’s up for some debate!

Gomez: And we still have more to come! Stay with us, folks!

[FN'R]

Backstage, we see Bruce Booth standing in front of one of those bingo lottery thingies.

Bruce: Alright! Time to pick my Clusterfuck number...

He picks a ball out of the container and looks at it. He frowns.

Bruce: Uh...

He looks around to make sure no one is watching, completely oblivious to the camera filming from the doorway.

Bruce: ...Maybe not that one.

Bruce puts it down on the table and just digs into the container until he finds the biggest number.

Bruce: That's more like it!

The cameraman coughs and Bruce turns around, dropping the ball on the table as he does. 

Bruce: Hey! You! I didn't know you were filming this!

Cameraman: Um, sorry, I-

Bruce smirks.

Bruce: Make sure to get my good side.

Bruce motions for the cameraman to enter the room, and he grabs his ball from the table.

Bruce: Lookie here, lucky last entrant!

Bruce cackles as he shows his ball to the camera, but it quite obviously says "#1." He shoves past the cameraman, who is too embarrassed to even say anything, and leaves. A mysterious hand picks up the other ball, the last entry one, on the table...

[FN'R]

Woo: Coming up next we have what might be the shortest Iron Man Match in history. Two House members will collide as Eddie Dozier takes on “The Elite” Chris Page in a Five Minute Iron Man Match.

Gomez: I hope they both lose somehow. I can’t stand most members of The House, but especially not these two!

Woo: And with Tyler Bradford as the guest referee, who knows what all will happen tonight. I’m predicting the finger poke of doom.

Gomez: We would only be so lucky to not have to endure watching these two wrestle.

“Stepped On” by Hurricane Chris begins to play. The crowd boos loudly as Chris Page, Eddie Dozier, and Tyler Bradford all make their way out from the back together.

Woo: We’ve seen Page come out with Goldworthy before when they were preparing to face each other. Now he comes out with not only his opponent but also the referee involved.

Gomez: They’re all losers and none of them make any sense.

The three men slide into the ring and play to the booing crowd. After a few minutes of group stretching, Eddie and Page shake hands. Tyler calls for the bell.

DING DING DING

In this intense Iron Man match, Page and Dozier plan to showcase their athleticism and determination. After the bell rings, both wrestlers start with a lock-up, each trying to gain an early advantage. Neither of them can gain the advantage as they are fairly evenly matched. They break the tie-up and back off, shaking out their arms.

Bradford maintains a watchful eye on the action as Chris Page runs and delivers a powerful clothesline, taking Eddie Dozier down. Page climbs on top and the first pin attempt of the match is made. However, Dozier kicks out at two. The crowd is on the edge of their seats, anticipating the next move.

As the match progresses, Eddie Dozier counters Page’s speed and athleticism with a series of well-executed power maneuvers, keeping Page grounded. The energy in the arena is electric as both competitors exchange near-falls, desperately vying for that crucial first point. Page manages to turn the momentum as he thumbs Dozier in the eye.

Woo: Friends or not, Page just showed he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get a win.

Gomez: Ha! Maybe Eddie is blinded for life. That would not upset me.

With three minutes remaining, Chris Page manages to execute a devastating submission hold, the Texas Bluebonnet, putting Dozier in a precarious situation. The audience roars in anticipation, wondering if Dozier will tap out. However, Dozier displays resilience and manages to break free, creating a shift in momentum when he lifts Page up and drops him on the back of his head with a side suplex.

Bradford faces the challenge of maintaining order as the intensity escalates between the two men. He ensures fair play, intervening when necessary to prevent any potential rule violations. The final two minutes approach, and both Chris Page and Eddie Dozier give it their all, exchanging strikes and high-impact maneuvers.

As the clock winds down to the last minute, the score remains tied 0-0. The wrestlers, exhausted but determined, unleash their signature moves in a last-ditch effort to secure a victory. Things finally begin to slip away from Dozier when Page drops him with a Funky Town before locking on The Elite Lock. The crowd counts down from ten as Page cinches the hold tighter with the clock running out. Four, three, two, DOZIER TAPS! The crowd erupts as the bell rings, signaling the end of the match.

DING DING DING

Tyler Bradford, trying to remain impartial, raises both competitors' hands, acknowledging their incredible performance.

Dobrev: Here is your winner… “THE ELITE” CHRIS PAGE!

Woo: This was an unforgettable Iron Man match between Chris Page and Eddie Dozier, one that left us with the former United States Champion as the victor.

Gomez: While I admit it was better than I expected, I wouldn’t call it “unforgettable.” That won’t be an issue.

As Bradford chit-chats with Nina Dobrev, Page and Dozier begin to head to the back. Out of nowhere, four masked and hooded individuals jump the barricade and begin to pummel Page and Dozier. The crowd causes enough stir that Bradford sees this and starts to rush around the ring to them. He is cut-off by a fifth masked person. They clothesline Bradford hard to the floor. They grab Bradford and handcuff him to the bottom rope. The other four continue to destroy Page and Dozier. One of them grabs the ring steps and slams them down on Dozier’s head. The others drag Page to the top of the ramp and on the stage. They lift Page up and drive him off of the stage and through a table down below. Leaving the two members of The House nearly lifeless and Bradford helpless, the five masked assailants leave the arena as EMTs check on Page and Dozier and authorities work to un-cuff Bradford.

[FN'R]

The camera cuts backstage to the parking lot of The Safehouse. A black limo pulls up on the scene, and out exits it is Dimitri Graves in a sleek black trenchcoat. Dimitri holds the door open and out exits the EWC United States Champion, Cosmo Goldworthy, dressed to the nines. As the two are headed inside, Ace Heart approaches both with a microphone in hand.

Ace Heart: Cosmo! Dimitri! Got time for a quick word?!

Dimitri doesn’t seem to be very pleased to have been interrupted by Ace, but Cosmo assures him it’s fine.

Cosmo Goldworthy: We good, Dimitri. Ask away, interviewer.

Ace Heart: Well, here’s a question that’s been on many fans’ mind. Night Four of WrestleFest left much skepticism for you, as you went behind Callie Clark’s back to obtain the managerial services of Dimitri Graves, the same man who attempted a coup to run Jack Severn out of the EWC! Where does that put you with the rest of the group?

Cosmo scoffs, looking at Dimitri, then back to Ace.

Cosmo Goldworthy: My position in The House is better than ever, and it’ll show when I defeat El Pablo tonight.

Dimitri pats Cosmo on the back and approaches the microphone

Dimitri Graves: Shall we not waste the man’s time anymore? I’m not one to speak in prophecies but I truly believe that this is not only the next face of EWC, but the next face of The House.

Ace’s reaction shows, while Cosmo & Dimitri clearly are fans of the idea of Cosmo being the new flag bearer of the group.

Dimitri Graves: Take that how you will.

The two walk off, headed to the talent only area of The Safehouse — leaving Ace and the viewers at home to ponder that themselves.

[FN'R]

Woo: It’s time for what will quite possibly be the most chaotic match on the show today, because it’s none other than the Clusterfuck!

Gomez: There’s 9 competitors already announced for this match, ranging from Bruce Booth on Prime, to Jason Anderson on Rampage, Alexander Umbra on Brawl, Paramount’s own GM Chris Brock representing the orange brand, and even ZERO representing Next Gen. But even then, we don’t know how many people are even in this match! And I’m not entirely sure what a Clusterfuck match even entails, but it looks like Nina Dobrev is about to explain!

Dobrev: The following is the first ever Clusterfuck match! After our first two entrants, there will be another entrant at random intervals of time, until all entrants have come out! Eliminations can be made at any time throughout the match, via pinfall or submission! But when all competitors have entered, a 10 minute timer will begin, and if there is not a winner by the end of the countdown… the ring will explode! But if there is a winner, they will receive a starring role in a film produced by the EWC!

As 'Burn In My Light''s unmistakable intro sounds throughout the venue, the fans turn their head toward the entranceway, and out comes the superstar (at least in his own mind) with chiseled supermodel looks (at least in his own mind) and a superhero body (at least in his own mind), who stops a few feet out from the curtain. Without hesitating, he throws his arms up in the air and holds his chin high, posturing tall as gold pyro rains behind him, painting an image of an undeniable sensation. He raises his Prime Time Briefcase high above his head in the process.

Dobrev: First… Representing The House, from the Hollywood Hills, weighing in at 220 pounds… He is the Prime Time Briefcase holder… ‘BOX OFFICE’ BRUCE BOOTH!!!

Letting it breathe for a few seconds, Bruce then takes to the ring, his eyes shooting to a few fans offering their thoughts of him in the form of obscene finger gestures and even worse comments-- but he does his best to pay it no mind. As Booth heads in, he ascends the second turnbuckle and raises his arms once again- this time in a slow, graceful motion, almost like a shot straight out of a movie. He closes his eyes, living in the moment, instead of having to look at the fans, and steps down from the second rope, but never quite leaves that moment of self-absorption, as his music is cut off.

Woo: I’m sure Bruce Booth is less than enthused about accidentally becoming the first entrant, but maybe he should’ve paid more attention.

Gomez: Nah, I’m sure Booth understands that no matter his entry number, he’s a star! Besides, he’s done well for himself in multi-man matches in the past. And he’s sure to be extra determined to win that film role.

Woo: You’ve got that right, at least, considering he never shuts up about his previous career.

The arena lights start to flash on and off as NF- No Excuses comes over the speakers as smoke appears on the Extreme Tron in big letters with a picture of Jason Anderson “The Boss”. Jason appears on the stage wearing his hood over his head standing on his right is David and on his left is Diana wearing all leather black with her shades on her face and blow pop in her mouth. One of her arms is in a cast. Jason plays to the crowd a bit as Dave and Diana walk on his side walking with him down to the ring.

Dobrev: And the second entrant… From Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 215 pounds… He is THE BOSS… JASON ANDERSON!!!

He gets inside of the ring and pops the hood off his head like AJ Styles on the top rope pointing a finger down to Angel sitting ringside. She is jumping up and down for her father as he grins and winks at her as he jumps down off the corner ropes. He looks right at the person across from him while he takes off his hood jacket and starts to test ropes a bit.

Woo: Jason Anderson has no shortage of negative feelings towards The House, so it’s quite apropos that he and Bruce Booth start this thing off!

Gomez: Not to mention that Jason is one tough competitor! We could be looking at the iron man here!

Bruce and Jason stare each other down from opposite corners of the ring, as referees John Dean and Niklaus Forbes call to ring the bell!

DING DING DING

Jason and Bruce immediately lock up, with Bruce gaining the advantage with a headlock on Jason, but Jason quickly shoves Bruce off and goes to hit him with a running knee lift as he bounces off the ropes, but Bruce ducks and slides out of the ring. As Bruce turns to the crowd and poses, Jason decides to jump off of the nearest turnbuckle, hitting the Piper’s Pit moonsault onto Bruce! Jason pumps up the crowd as he grabs Bruce and tosses him back into the ring.

Woo: Great start to this match!

Gomez: It’s certainly a treat to see these two young superstars go at it!

As Jason climbs up on the apron, Bruce pokes him in the eyes! Jason, clutching his eyes, is easily maneuvered into a Hangman’s DDT by Bruce! Bruce goes for the cover…

ONE…





TW- NO! Jason kicks out!

Bruce punches on Jason while he’s on the mat, taking his time and relishing in the crowd’s boos. Bruce then gets Jason up to his feet for an irish whip, but as Jason comes back, he hits Bruce with a running knee lift! Bruce staggers back, and Jason hits him with a Superman Punch that knocks him to his back! Jason lifts Bruce up into a powerbomb position… And he hits the Prince Stomp! He covers!

ONE…





TW-NO! Bruce kicks out!

Woo: These two seem to be evenly matched right now!

Gomez: But it looks like a third dance partner is about to enter the mix! Let’s get a look up at the entrance area!

The countdown for the next entrant begins, and Jason takes a bit of a breather, looking down to see who comes out next. Bruce, meanwhile, rolls to the corner of the ring.

THREE…!

TWO…!

ONE…!

ENTRANT #3 - SONYA

The Beautiful Battleship makes her way to the ring, staring Jason Anderson down as she does.

Woo: This interaction has a big fight feel to it! SONYA is looking to make a comeback after passing out to Vin Havoc at WrestleFest, let’s see if she can do it in tonight’s Clusterfuck!

Jason throws the first strike against SONYA, who smiles and hits him back with a knife edge chop! Jason fires back with a forearm smash! SONYA fires back with another chop! Jason with another forearm! SONYA staggers a bit… So she fires back with a bunch of rapid fire chops! Jason’s chest turns bright red as he just tries to grit his teeth through it. But as Jason staggers, SONYA bounces off the ropes and hits him with a running big boot! Before she can make the cover, however, Bruce Booth attacks her from behind! He twists her back and hits a neckbreaker! He then lifts SONYA up… Brainbustaaaaahhhh! He covers.

ON- NO! SONYA KICKS OUT AT ONE!!!

Bruce’s eyes go wide but he immediately goes to cover Jason, who’s still down from the big boot.

ON- NO! JASON KICKS OUT AT ONE AS WELL!!!

Bruce pounds the mat in frustration, and begins to twist SONYA’s legs into a Texas Cloverleaf attempt, but SONYA manages to kick him off into the corner.

Gomez: We’re still in the early stages of this match, so it’s really no surprise that we haven’t seen an elimination yet, but with how hard these competitors are taking it to each other, we might see one sooner rather than later!

Woo: SONYA and Jason Anderson are two of the hardest hitting competitors here, and Bruce Booth is matching them for sure!

Bruce comes running out of the corner at SONYA, but she hits him with a tough forearm strike that sends him crashing to the mat! It’s the Clean-Up Hitter! SONYA turns around… right into a superkick from Jason Anderson! Jason climbs to the top rope, but Bruce shakes the ropes, making Jason slip and crotch himself on the top turnbuckle! Bruce grabs Jason by the head and pulls his body forward… HANGMAN’S DDT FROM THE TOP ROPE! But before Bruce can make the cover, SONYA grabs him from behind and hits him with a big belly to back suplex! Bruce smartly rolls out of the ring again, and begins to back against the entrance-way as the countdown for the next entrant begins…

THREE…!

TWO…!

ONE…!

ENTRANT #4 - ‘HEADHUNTRESS’ AIYA

Woo: Ohhhh boy! Bruce is stuck between a rock and a hard place now!

Bruce turns around and realizes Aiya is standing behind him, and SONYA is waiting for him in the ring. He smiles and pleads with them both for a moment… and then he legs it to the other side of the ring, past both of them! Aiya follows close behind, and SONYA is able to cut Bruce off at the other side! Bruce tries to escape into the ring this time, but both Shinijoshi members enter the ring with him, and are able to grab him before he escapes again. It’s No Fighting Back for Bruce Booth as SONYA and Aiya hit him with a flurry of elbow and kick combinations! Bruce falls to his knees and hunches over… The Shinigami! SONYA and Aiya hit him with double axe kicks! Then SONYA grabs him by the arms and Aiya grabs him by the legs… Onibus Ride! Bruce is tossed into the air like pizza dough and he falls right onto his stomach on the mat, but he uses this opportunity to roll out of the ring.

Gomez: Bruce is being absolutely mauled!

Woo: Shinijoshi may have been unlucky drawing numbers so early, but they gotta be happy about being able to team together in this match!

Aiya chases after Bruce while SONYA attempts another big boot on Jason Anderson, only for Jason to catch her foot, and hit a jumping high knee to her face! Outside of the ring, Aiya tries to pull Bruce Booth out from under the ring where he’s crawled to hide, but he manages to crawl all the way through. Aiya gets fed up and slides back into the ring to help her Shinijoshi partner, spearing Jason as he turns around from stomping on SONYA! Aiya helps her partner up, and then they both deliver superkicks to Jason as he gets up. SONYA picks Jason up into a powerbomb position, but he’s able to fight out of it and drop down to his feet! He hits The Flash! SONYA is staggered back with a right hook out of nowhere! Jason turns around, ducks a roundhouse kick, and hits Aiya with a Backstabber! He goes for the cover!

ONE…





TW- NO! SONYA BREAKS IT UP!

Just as SONYA breaks up Jason’s pin on Aiya, the countdown for the next entrant begins…

THREE…!

TWO…!

ONE…!

ENTRANT #5 - ALEXANDER UMBRA

Alexander Umbra runs down to the ring, although he seems a little dazed as he does. No matter, he rushes right into SONYA and Jason, giving forearm strikes to them both.

Woo: Umbra seems to be dealing with some injuries, but he’s still taking it to his opponents! He won that fatal four way at WrestleFest… which also included Jason Anderson. I’m sure there’s no love lost there!

Just as Umbra begins focusing more on Jason, with the two of them trading strikes (although Umbra is getting way more hits in thanks to his relative freshness), Aiya and SONYA work together to take both of them down with double roaring elbows! Umbra and Jason both fall to their knees, and the Shinijoshi pair go to hit them with the Midnight Kill double Buzzsaw Kicks, Umbra and Jason pull each other down at the same time! Aiya and SONYA kick each other’s legs! They stumble back, and Umbra and Jason actually help each other up to hit them both with a double clothesline! While Umbra irish whips SONYA and hits her with the Trip to Nowhere full-nelson bomb, Jason lifts Aiya up and hits the Prince Stomp! They both cover!

ONE…





TWO…





THR- NO! SONYA AND AIYA BOTH KICK OUT!

Umbra and Jason, both thinking the same thing, go to opposite corners of the ring. They’re both a little shaky due to injuries incurred from both outside and inside the match, but they climb to the top turnbuckles…

Gomez: I can’t believe we’re seeing Jason Anderson and Alexander Umbra work together against Shinijoshi here!

Woo: Well someones gotta!

UMBRA DELIVERS THE DIVING HEADBUTT! JASON DELIVERS JASON’S SCORE! IT’S BEAUTIFUL…

…Except they both are a little too loopy and a little too slow, and they miss. SONYA and Aiya are able to roll out of the way, just barely, and both hardcore wrestlers crash to the mat. Everyone in the ring takes time to recover as the countdown comes on…

THREE…!

TWO…!

ONE…!

ZERO…?!

ENTRANT #6 - ZERO

Shinijoshi stand together and put their dukes up as they stare down the entranceway, waiting for ZERO to enter… but nobody seems to come out…? Jason and Umbra begin to stir as Shinijoshi looks around, and finally the roar of the crowd turns their attention to a section of fans running away in terror, as the monstrous ZERO storms through!

Woo: ZERO Day is approaching for everyone in the Clusterfuck! And after back to back losses to Kenzie Ford, I doubt The Walking Myth is looking for anything less than total destruction!

Woo proves to be right, as ZERO charges at both Shinijoshi members, taking them down with beefy clotheslines as he enters the ring! ZERO grabs Aiya… Black Hole Slam! Instead of pinning her, however, he stands right up to SONYA, who’s getting up and VERY pissed off. He towers over her, but she shows no fear, and hits him with a running lariat! ZERO barely reacts, and so SONYA runs to hit him with another one! ZERO moves back slightly with this one, so SONYA runs and goes for a third, but ZERO catches her this time by the throat! ZERO lifts SONYA up… tosses her in the air… and catches her with the Oblivion Boot as she comes back down!

Umbra dives at ZERO, attacking with a frenzy of forearms and kicks, and Jason soon joins in, hitting ZERO with a running knee lift and actually managing to stagger him back ever so slightly! Umbra and Jason double team ZERO, working together to irish whip him and hit him with a double clothesline, but as they run towards ZERO… he catches them by the throats, just like he did with SONYA! ZERO shoves Umbra down, and then lifts Jason up into a powerbomb! As Umbra tries to get back up for more, ZERO just clotheslines him back down!

Bruce Booth finally slides out from under the ring, and enters, fearlessly taking on ZERO alone! He poses at ZERO, and ZERO just cocks his head and kicks him in the gut! ZERO hooks Bruce’s arms and lifts him over his shoulders… Dividing By ZERO! ZERO makes the cover!

Gomez: What was Bruce thinking?!

Woo: Uh… I don’t think that’s Bruce…

As referees John Dean and Niklaus Forbes yell at ZERO and try to explain to him that it isn't Bruce that he’s pinning, the real Bruce Booth sneaks up behind him with the Prime Time Briefcase! Bruce smashes it over ZERO’s head, and ZERO just is even angrier now that he realizes that the “Bruce Booth” in front of him is just… a stunt double! They must’ve switched under the ring! Bruce continues to smash the briefcase over ZERO, but ZERO stands up and shakes his head, causing Bruce to drop the briefcase and hold his hands up, pleading. Bruce slowly backs up against the ropes… he goes for a low blow! ZERO catches him, however, and squeezes his hand! Bruce yelps out in pain, and ZERO grabs him by the waist and tosses him across the ring with a saito suplex!

Gomez: ZERO is just dominating everyone!

Woo: God help whoever this next entrant is, because they’re dealing with a monster!

The crowd counts down in anticipation as ZERO stands in the ring amongst a pile of bodies, waiting for his next victim…

THREE…!

TWO…!

ONE…!

ENTRANT #7 - MORB

MORB dances down the ring for the face off of the century against ZERO! He rips off his shirt and does some hip gyrations when he gets on the apron.

Woo: Uh… this is quite an unconventional competitor, who has only appeared for us on GAMBIT… but I guess we’ll see if it’s true what they say… THERE AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE A MORB PARTY!

MORB enters the ring… and immediately is caught with an Oblivion Boot! ZERO then lifts MORB up… Divided By ZERO! He covers…

ONE…





TWO…





THREE!!!

MORB HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

Woo: Uh… quick elimination for MORB. After the performance he’s had so far, it’s not surprising that ZERO caused the first elimination!

Gomez: I wonder what other mystery entrants we’ll see in this match!

MORB rolls out of the ring and half-heartedly dances to the back. Meanwhile, ZERO beats on Umbra and Jason some more, but the Shinijoshi members are back up, and they’re looking for revenge! SONYA and Aiya hit ZERO with a barrage of double elbows and kicks and knees, and eventually an SOS from Aiya takes ZERO to one knee! ZERO is already in the process of rising back up, but SONYA puts a stop to that by jumping on his back and locking in a sleeper hold! ZERO falls down to both knees now, and Aiya hits him with the Lights Out enzuigiri while SONYA keeps that sleeper hold locked in! As ZERO drops, SONYA lets go. ZERO tries to rise up while on all fours, but SONYA and Aiya hit him with the Shinigami! And as he continues to stir… they hit him again! And again! And again! Until they’re just rapidly kicking him! ZERO finally stops trying to get back up, and now Umbra and Jason have gotten to their feet. Shinijoshi looks at them and points to ZERO’s limbs, asking for them to help in taking out ZERO. Jason looks Aiya in the eyes and nods, moving to take a leg. Umbra shrugs and takes an arm. All four competitors try to lift ZERO up for the Onibus Ride… but ZERO just roars and shoves all of them away!

As Jason, Umbra, SONYA, and Aiya are sent flying, ZERO fully rises to his feet. He heads right to Aiya, who tries to fight back with some elbows and even a headbutt, which ZERO just no sells, and then he headbutts back! Aiya stumbles backwards and ZERO kicks her in the stomach! He hooks the arms, but before he can lift her up, SONYA hits ZERO with a running big boot! ZERO no sells this as well, and drops Aiya to hit SONYA with a big boot of his own! Aiya groggily gets up, but Bruce Booth comes out of hiding to hit her with the Director’s Cut from outta nowhere! SONYA, meanwhile, is hit with Divided By ZERO! Bruce and ZERO both cover!

ONE…





TWO…





THREE!!!

AIYA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

SONYA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

Woo: Shinijoshi had a great performance in this match, but I’m starting to sense that the numbers are gonna dwindle down fast with ZERO in the ring!

Gomez: I’d love to see a one on one match between SONYA and ZERO in the future… And I’m sure Aiya won’t forget fellow PRIME superstar, and House member, Bruce Booth eliminating her either!

Bruce immediately slides out of the ring once he realizes ZERO notices him from across, but he continues trash talking ZERO just long enough to distract him while Jason Anderson attacks ZERO from behind with a chair! Jason just keeps smashing the chair against ZERO’s back, before turning to the crowd, fired up! But as he turns… Alexander Umbra hits him in the face with his signature brass knuckles! He makes an immediate cover!

Woo: So much for that alliance!

ONE…





TWO…





THR- NO! JASON KICKS OUT!

ZERO begins to stir, so Umbra hits him with the brass knuckles too! Umbra then grabs Jason’s chair, and starts wailing on both ZERO and Jason, back and forth, with it! The timer counts down and Umbra unfolds the chair, sitting in it and waiting for his next opponent…

THREE…!

TWO…!

ONE…!

ENTRANT #8 - AEON KHRONOS

Aeon Khronos steps cautiously towards the ring, as Umbra stands up and unfolds the chair, begging her to come on in.

Woo: It’s time for the Mistress of Time! But I have to feel like she’s at a disadvantage here, against an armed Umbra!

As Aeon steps into the ring, Umbra immediately swings the chair, but he stops just short of hitting her when she holds up… a light-up screwdriver? Umbra is briefly confused by Aeon’s Aerochronometer, which gives Aeon just enough time to kick him in the gut! Aeon snaps Umbra down with a DDT, and then gets behind him to deliver a german suplex! Before Aeon can do anything else, however, ZERO is back up and he looks pissed! ZERO charges at Aeon, who narrowly avoids him and comedically attempts a german suplex onto him, only to get elbowed away, picked up, and hit with a backbreaker for her troubles. Jason Anderson is back up, and he hits ZERO outta nowhere with a jumping knee! He follows up with a superkick, causing ZERO to stagger, and Alexander Umbra, who’s also back up now, dropkicks ZERO! ZERO is almost down, and so Aeon hits him with a snap DDT while he’s kneeling! With this, ZERO rolls out of the ring and onto the apron, but as he stands up, Bruce Booth grabs his leg! ZERO just kinda kicks Bruce away and turns around… ONLY TO MET WITH A DIRECTOR’S CUT OFF OF THE APRON! ZERO falls down to the floor below as Bruce slides into the ring and faces off with the other three opponents in the match.

Bruce points to all three of them and cockily declares how he’s going to “beat all of their asses,” so Jason, Umbra, and Aeon just kinda look at each other, shrug, and all just start attacking Bruce at once! Bruce collapses from being hammered with six different fists, but before he can roll out of the ring again, they all pull him further towards the middle. Jason whispers something to Umbra and Aeon, and they move out of the way as he motions towards the front row, where his daughter Angel is sitting. Angel climbs over the railing and runs into the ring, only to deliver a hurricanrana onto Bruce Booth! The crowd erupts as Jason smiles and high fives his daughter before sending her back behind the railing.

Woo: Well, I certainly didn’t expect that!

Gomez: I don’t think Bruce did either! Angel might grow up to be a great pro wrestler some day!

Umbra immediately goes for the attack on Jason, while Aeon tries to twist Bruce into a surfboard submission! The countdown for the next entrant begins…

THREE…!

TWO…!

ONE…!

ENTRANT #9 - CASSIE WOLFE

Cassie Wolfe runs down to the ring and immediately hops onto the top rope, flying off into Umbra with a clothesline!

Woo: This spunky young upstart might just be the one who shocks the world and wins this match! Someone this fast entering this late into the match? Might spell disaster! Plus, this leaves just one more known entrant left to enter!

Cassie hits Jason with a superkick, and then does a standing moonsault onto Bruce and Aeon while Bruce is in the surfboard! She covers them both!

ONE…





TWO…





THR- NO! BRUCE AND AEON KICK OUT!

Cassie tries to hook Aeon into a DDT, but Aeon reverses into a DDT of her own, but then Cassie reverses that into the initial DDT she tried to hit in the first place! Cassie follows up with the Down Under Driver on Aeon! But she’s not quite done… Cassie goes to the top rope… She jumps off for The Coronation- BUT AEON GETS HER KNEES UP! Aeon rolls Cassie up!

ONE…





TWO…





THR- NO! CASSIE KICKS OUT!

Aeon smoothly transitions into the Quantum Driver! She covers again!

ONE…





TWO…





THR- NO! CASSIE KICKS OUT AGAIN!

A frustrated Aeon tries to end it with the Time Warp, but as Aeon bends Cassie over and locks her arms in, Cassie flips her backwards into a pin! Aeon struggles, but her own arms are locked with Cassie’s!

ONE…





TWO…





THREE!!!

AEON KHRONOS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

Aeon yells at the referees in frustration as Cassie briefly celebrates… but then Aeon smiles as she slides out of the ring.

Woo: A great elimination for Cassie Wolfe! I’d love to see these two go one on one sometime!

Gomez: But what’s with that smile from Aeon? Doesn’t she know she was just eliminated?

Bruce attacks Cassie while Jason and Umbra continue to brawl on the other side of the ring. They both slide out of the ring and come back with chairs, hitting each other at the same time with them! The crowd counts down for the next entrant…

THREE…!

TWO…!

ONE…!

ENTRANT #10 - AEON KHRONOS…?

Aeon Khronos smiles by the entranceway as her past, male self comes out! He takes off of his leather jacket and runs down into the ring!

Woo: Okay, we’ve reached a whole new level of weird here. Two Aeons in one match?!

Gomez: Makes sense! Just like our PRIME GM always says, why have one bullet when you can have two!

The male Aeon hits Bruce Booth with a big german suplex, and then follows up with a snap suplex on Cassie Wolfe! But soon his female counterpart’s cheers at ringside turn into cries of “turn around” as the hulking frame of ZERO steps back into the ring. Aeon backs right into him, and as he turns around, flashbacks to that fateful match with Gideon Gage begin to fill the female Aeon’s head. Just like in that match, ZERO stomps on Aeon with a big boot, and then holds him up with a military press! Female Aeon winces as she knows what’s coming next.

ZERO CHUCKS THE MALE AEON OUT OF THE RING AND HE HITS THE CONCRETE HARD!

ZERO steps out of the ring, tosses Aeon into the ring post, throws him back in the ring, and stuffs him with a powerbomb! ZERO follows up with Divided By ZERO! He covers.

ONE…





TWO…





THREE!!!

AEON KHRONOS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED …AGAIN

Aeon pulls her past self out of the ring and slinks off to the back as ZERO begins to dominate the ring once again.

Woo: Well, uh, so much for that strategy.

Gomez: And I bet everyone is regretting not eliminating ZERO when they had the chance!

ZERO takes a chair shot from Jason, but then rips the chair from his hands, and delivers a massive headbutt! He catches Umbra into a Black Hole Slam! Cassie tries to dive off the top rope onto him… but he just catches her! Sidewalk slam onto Cassie! As ZERO gets up, grabbing Cassie by the neck as he does, Bruce tries to catch him with another Director’s Cut! But ZERO has it scouted this time! He drops Cassie and shoves Bruce off, then grabs Bruce by the throat, and delivers a massive choke-breaker! ZERO stares down the entranceway as the next countdown starts…

THREE…!

TWO…!

ONE…!

ENTRANT #11 - PEACH GELATO

A massive pop erupts through the Safehouse as Peach Gelato makes her EWC main roster return!

Woo: Holy shit! I did NOT expect her to be back! This might be a one-night-only appearance, but who knows! Maybe she’ll find her way out from GAMBIT again someday!

Peach takes her time getting into the ring, which allows Bruce Booth just enough time to hit ZERO with a low blow! Peach starts directing orders from outside the ring, and Jason superkicks the kneeling ZERO! Umbra goes to the top rope… Flying Headbutt onto ZERO! He goes for the cover, but Jason shoves him off! Umbra is pissed at first, but Jason points to the chairs. Jason shoves ZERO’s head into a chair… and then slams another down onto his head! Con-chair-to! Umbra and Bruce flip ZERO over and Jason places his chair on ZERO’s stomach… Cassie Wolfe takes to the top rope! She hits The Coronation onto ZERO with that chair! Cassie clutches her stomach as Peach directs traffic further, and Bruce, Jason, and Umbra lift ZERO up… Triple powerbomb! Bruce dorkily puts his fist out and yells “like the SHIELD!” Jason and Umbra just ignore him and both go to pin ZERO…

ONE…





TWO…





THR- NO! ZERO SOMEHOW KICKS OUT!!!

Jason and Umbra start arguing over whose cover was weaker, but then Peach tells them to shut up and try again. Jason, Umbra, Bruce, and Cassie all pile on top of ZERO, who struggles beneath them…

ONE…





TWO…





THREE!!!

ZERO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

ZERO is fucking PISSED and throws everyone off of him, and then even throws the referees who try to tell him he’s eliminated off of him, but then security finally starts to haul him away. Meanwhile, Peach Gelato smiles and finally enters the ring. She yells “great teamwork” and goes to high five Jason and Bruce… But instead they just beat on her with strikes! Umbra and Cassie join in and Peach rolls out of the ring to escape the onslaught… but she’s met by ZERO, who charges out of the grasp of security and delivers a massive tackle to her on the outside! He picks Peach up… and powerbombs her onto the ring apron! Finally ZERO leaves on his own accord.

Woo: Wow! Seems like ZERO is none too happy about being eliminated!

Gomez: Yeah, no shit. Dumbass.

Bruce immediately takes advantage of this slight distraction, and rolls Alexander Umbra up!

ONE…





TWO…





THR- NO! UMBRA KICKS OUT!

Jason catches Bruce with a rolling elbow, and then he runs the ropes and knocks Bruce down with a V-Trigger! Umbra grabs Jason from behind… Trip to Nowhere! But as they sit out from the move, Cassie Wolfe screams “GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL” and delivers a big soccer kick to both Jason and Umbra! The crowd counts down for the next entrant…

THREE…!

TWO…!

ONE…!

ENTRANT #12 - CHRIS BROCK

Chris Brock forms an ‘X’ with his hands and takes off his glasses before he runs to the ring. No more Mr. Paramount GM, it’s time for business! Erm, I mean in-ring business.

Woo: And here comes our final known entrant! Which means those final 10 minutes might be starting!

Gomez: Well, don’t get too hasty, my impeccable commentary partner! The timer hasn’t started yet, which means we’ve still got at least one more entrant to go!

Chris slides in and immediately hits Cassie with a scoop powerslam as she runs at him! He wastes no time at all and also hits a shotgun dropkick onto Bruce Booth! Chris grabs Umbra for an evenflow DDT, but Umbra shoves him off, and fights back with an enzuigiri! Chris stumbles back, and Umbra catches him with a dropkick to knock him down! Bruce gets up in the corner and Umbra shakes the cobwebs out of his head, and then hits Bruce with a running corner splash! Jason Anderson starts to get up, so Umbra runs and hits him with a Busaiku Knee! Umbra goes right up to the top rope to attempt a flying headbutt onto Jason… But Jason rolls out of the way! Umbra’s head crashes right onto the steel chair left in the ring! OUCH!

With everybody knocked down in the ring, Peach Gelato shakily gets back in… She smiles and does a double bicep flex before hitting Cassie with a spear! Bruce runs at Peach next, and Peach catches him into a bodyslam position, then transitions into a reverse DDT! The Two Scoops! Peach yells, all fired up, as the crowd goes nuts!

Woo: PEACHAMANIA IS RUNNING WILD!

Gomez: We’re a little late on the Mario movie advertising, but could you imagine if she pulled this off?!

Peach points at Chris Brock, ready to deliver the Sorbet, but as she charges forward, Chris catches her into a spinning spinebuster! Chris then locks in the Knight Takes Rook crossface… AND PEACH HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO TAP!!! The crowd boos as a confused look crosses Chris’ face.

PEACH GELATO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

Chris kicks Peach out of the ring, causing more boos. He chuckles to himself and shakes his head.

Woo: So much for that return…

Gomez: Interesting to see the crowd cheering for Peach against Chris Brock there!

Chris goes right for Cassie Wolfe again, but she reverses his suplex attempt with one of her own! As Chris is down on one knee, Cassie comes running at him with The Greenest Wizard! Before she can capitalize, Jason hits her in the back of the head with a V-Trigger! Jason lifts her onto his back… Angel Drop! He covers!

ONE…





TWO…





THREE!!!

CASSIE WOLFE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

Jason takes a deep breath, smiling at his first elimination of the match. Cassie grabs the back of her head and rolls out of the ring.

Woo: Obligatory ‘would love to see these two run this back?’

Gomez: You know it. Great showing for Cassie Wolfe though, she has nothing to be ashamed about!

As Cassie walks to the back, the countdown begins again…

THREE…!

TWO…!

ONE…!

The lights dim…

Woo: I’m being told… this is our final entrant! The 10 minute timer starts now!

Gomez: I hope we’re far enough away from that explosion…

Sparklers blast from the entranceway as ‘The Trololo Song’ hits and none other than iMPLODE makes his EWC debut!

ENTRANT #13 - iMPLODE

Woo: Are you fucking kidding me.

BUT WAIT! HE’S ATTACKED FROM BEHIND AS HE FLEXES! The man attacking him is the familiar face of…

ENTRANT #13 - YAYA BANANA

10:00

Yaya Banana is our REAL final entrant, and he’s fired the fuck up! No conga line this time as he runs down to the ring and immediately starts firing off superkicks left and right!

Woo: This could be HUGE for Yaya! A win here, or even just an elimination over any of these competitors… it could be life changing!

Yaya superkicks Jason Anderson! Yaya superkicks Chris Brock! Yaya superkicks Bruce Booth! The crowd is going, well, bananas for Yaya! Meanwhile, medical staff are treating Alexander Umbra’s head injury to see if he can still compete. Yaya climbs to the ropes… BANANA SPLIT ONTO BRUCE BOOTH! Yaya lifts Bruce up into a full nelson… transitioning into an STO! CARELESS WHISPER! HOLY SHIT! YAYA COVERS!

ONE…





TWO…





THR- NO! BRUCE KICKS OUT!

Yaya pounds the mat in frustration, but as he stands up, Jason explodes from the corner with a knockout BJA elbow! Jason collapses onto Yaya and makes the cover!

ONE…





TWO…





THREE!!!

YAYA BANANA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

Yaya has to be pulled out of the ring as he’s completely knocked out. The crowd boos Jason a little, but he just shrugs it off.

Woo: I… I believed, dammit!

Gomez: A sad day for all of us Yayamaniacs.

8:00

Jason and Chris stare at each other from across the ring, they look at the clock, and they both get the same idea at the same time! They roll out of the ring, and then come back wielding baseball bats! Although… Chris Brock’s is covered in barbed wire! We get a heckin’ Star Wars lightsaber battle between these two with the bats, but Chris gets the advantage by hooking the barbed wire into Jason’s skin. Jason drops his bat and drops to a knee, and Chris goes to hit him again… BUT JASON CATCHES THE BARBED WIRE BAT WITH HIS BARE HANDS! Through bloody hands, Jason pushes the bat up… HE SHOVES IT INTO CHRIS’ FACE! Chris stumbles back, and Jason hits him with a jumping high knee! Chris is down on a knee now… and Jason snaps back at him with a V-Trigger! Super pumped up, Jason tries to lift Chris into an Angel Drop… but Chris is able to slide back down and grab Jason’s arm! He locks on the Bruno Sassi Armbar! Jason yells in pain… but refuses to tap out! Jason starts to attempt to pick Chris up while he’s got the armbar locked in, like into some sort of gutwrench powerbomb, but he’s unable to and falls back down!

Woo: Come on, Jason! Stay in this! You’ve made it this far…

Gomez: HOLY SHIT WHERE DID HE COME FROM?!

Out of NOWHERE, Alexander Umbra finally hits Meeting of the Minds onto Jason while he’s locked into the armbar! Chris lets go of the submission to conserve energy while Umbra covers Jason, although slightly sloppily due to his head injuries.

ONE…





TWO…





THREE!!!

JASON ANDERSON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

Jason rolls out of the ring clutching his head, and then his arm/shoulder. He looks a bit out of it, but then he sees the man who eliminated him… HE RUNS BACK IN AND STARTS BRAWLING WITH UMBRA! Referees John Dean and Niklaus Forbes run in to tear Jason off of Umbra. A disappointed and pissed off Jason heads to the back, as our final three are left in the ring.

Woo: Jason has gotta be disappointed he didn’t go all the way, but still! #2 to being in the final four! That man has some fighting spirit!

Gomez: I heard they’re making a championship to honor that soon…

5:00

With 5 minutes left on the clock, Bruce Booth and Chris Brock immediately go at each other! They trade DDT positions and various chain wrestling holds, but Bruce gains the advantage by hitting Chris with a snap powerslam! Bruce turns to Umbra, who is basically dead weight at this point, and hits him with a Hangman’s DDT! He covers!

ONE…






TWO…





THR- NO! UMBRA SOMEHOW KICKS OUT!!!

Bruce delivers some grounded punches to Umbra and then forces him to his feet before bouncing off the ropes for a running start to the Director’s Cut, but Umbra catches him, pops him up, and twists him, grabbing him by the legs before hitting the Sound of Silence sit-out facebuster! Umbra smacks his own head a few times before going to the top rope once more for another Meeting of the Minds… BUT BRUCE BOOTH CATCHES HIM INTO A DIRECTOR’S CUT! HOLY SHIT! BRUCE COVERS!

ONE…





TWO…





THREE!!!

ALEXANDER UMBRA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

Umbra has to be taken out of the ring by medical as Bruce tries to recover in the ring, but Bruce is quickly attacked by a discus clothesline from Chris Brock!

Woo: Alexander Umbra, another man who really lasted a long time in this match! But I really hope he gets those injuries checked out… CTE is no joke.

Gomez: And I thought he was a nutcase before this… I think he might go even loonier now!

Woo: But now it’s time for our final two… Bruce Booth and Chris Brock!

3:00

Chris lifts Bruce up… Gutwrench powerbomb onto the barbed wire bat! Bruce grabs his back in pain. Chris squats down and delivers some grounded punches to Bruce, before lifting him up for a vertical suplex side slam! Chris makes the cover.

ONE…





TWO…





THR- NO! BRUCE KICKS OUT!

Chris, ever the veteran, grabs his barbed wire baseball bat and grinds it down against Bruce. He stomps Bruce down as well, and some Pro-House fans in the crowd start to boo! Once again perplexed by the boos, Chris gets a little distracted, and he flips the group of House fans off before smiling and stomping on Bruce some more, which just gets him booed by even more fans! As the clock ticks down, Chris lifts Bruce into the Check, right onto the barbed wire bat! He covers and smirks.

ONE…





TWO…





THR- NO! BRUCE KICKS OUT AGAIN!!!

Woo: A KICK OUT OF THE ROLLING CUTTER! HOW IS BRUCE STILL IN THIS?!

1:00

Chris’ eyes widen as we have one minute left, and he picks Bruce up by the head, and yells for him to stay down. Bruce responds by spitting at Chris, and telling him how “you don’t even care about this prize! But it’s EVERYTHING to me! You’re gonna have to fucking kill me!” And so? Chris obliges. He shakes his head and grabs the barbed wire bat… AND BASHES IT INTO BRUCE’S SKULL! Bruce goes limp.

Gomez: Bet he wishes he still had that stunt double around.

The crowd continues to boo as Chris grabs Bruce and leads him to the top rope, where he starts to lift Bruce into a pumphandle slam position…

Woo: Oh my god, he’s going for Endgame! It’s over!

BUT AS CHRIS LIFTS BRUCE UP… BRUCE HITS HIM WITH A DIRECTOR’S CUT FROM OFF THE TOP ROPE! BOTH CRASH TO THE MAT AND BRUCE LANDS ON TOP OF CHRIS! WITH 5 SECONDS TO GO, THE REFEREES COUNT!

ONE…





TWO…





THREE!!!

CHRIS BROCK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

DING DING DING

Dobrev: The winner of the first ever Clusterfuck, and earning a spot in an EWC produced movie… BRUCE BOOTH!!!

Woo: WITH GENUINELY ONE SECOND LEFT TO SPARE, THIS KID HAS DONE IT! FROM ENTRY #1 TO THE WINNER, BRUCE BOOTH HAS OUTLASTED 12 OTHER SUPERSTARS!

Gomez: You know… Maybe second chances really do happen. This movie role means more than just a simple prize to him… This is redemption!

Bruce Booth is barely aware of what’s going on as medical staff check on him, but he smiles and limps into a pose as he realizes that not only did he win, but also the crowd is cheering for him! Chris Brock rolls out of the ring, looking quite disappointed, but he just shakes his head and walks off, leaving Bruce to have his time in the spotlight.

Woo: What a match that was! We’re going to take a short break before our next contest, but stay tuned for more action!

Bruce shakily stands on the top rope and poses as we fade out…

We return to ringside.

Woo: The House Hunters have been out of action for several months, and tonight's the night they make their return. 

Gomez: And they aren't alone. They've brought a new solider along with them. 

Dobrev: The following match is an 8 person tag team match. Joining us first ... THE HOUSE HUNTERS!

OUR HOUSE... IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET

Hiroyoshi Fujinami comes sprinting out from the back.

Fujinami: FUCK THE HOUSE! FUCK THE HOUSE!

Hiroyoshi heads to the ring, trying to get the crowd in on his chant. When he gets to the ring, he loses his footing and falls into the ring-steps, faceplanting into the apron. Hiroyoshi grabs the ring-apron and pulls himself under the bottom rope into the ring. He rolls onto his back and attempts a kip-up, but overshoots and lands face first in the middle of the ring. He rolls back onto his back and lets out one more defiant cry of...

Fujinami: FUCK THE MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE!!!!

Some sparklers will spark on the ring-posts. Captain EWC comes crawling out from under the ring. He smashes a light-tube against his head and then he rolls in and lays next to Hiroyoshi. Jon Snow comes riding a motorcycle down the ramp, a vehicle that will only ever be seen for these trios entrances. Probably because he doesn't actually know how to drive the damn thing but thought it looked cool. From behind the duo walks Sadao Iha, not enjoying this sports entrainment garbage their teammates are displaying.  

Dobrev: And their opponents, the tag team of Mark Paulson & Brian Knight, and "Dynamite" Dan Funk & "Beautiful" Brodie Dawson ... NEXT LEVEL AND THE HEAT PACKERS!

Lights begin to pulsate over the crowd as the voices of both members of Next Level come over the PA system “We are.. The NEXT LEVEL!”

The sound of a guitar riff begins over the PA before “FIGHT!” is yelled out and ‘2nd Sucks’ by A Day to Remember begins to play. Both members of Next Level come out onto the stage, giving each other a fist bump as they cross paths and motion out to the crowd before they make their way down the ramp. talking trash to the crowd. 

The familiar old school synth of 'Chase' by Giorgio Moroder hits and The Heat Packers come strutting out, holding up their index fingers and talking trash to the crowd.

The Heat Packers get to the ring and pose in the corner, Dan on the ropes and Brodie on the top rope, holding up their index fingers and talking more trash, asking the crowd "who's the best tag team on the planet?!"

Woo: This is gonna be a wild 8 man tag, I'm sure of it. 

DING DING DING

Sadao Iha starts this one, standing stoic in their corner. Mark Paulson is the legal man for The House. Mark rushes at Sadao, and catches a stiff chop to the chest for his trouble. Mark winches in pain and Sadao leans into two more stiff chops followed by a push-kick sending Mark into the ropes. On the rebound Sadao goes for a lariat, but Mark ducks low while jumping into a leg-lariat into Sadao's midsection. Mark grab Sadao's ankle and drags them up and backwards into a slingshot, Brian Knight comes flying in off the top-turnbuckle to catch Sadao down into a DDT. The duo begin to stomp down on Sadao, and soon Heat Packers join the fray and they all stomp down on House Hunter's newest. 

Woo: This one's a rough start to Sadao's EWC career, he's getting his ass kicked in there!

Gomez: Not to be that guy, but Sadao is actually a non-binary person who goes by they/them. And House is indeed stomping a mudhole in their ass!

Woo: My apologizes!

Mark tags out to Dan Funk, who jacks Sadao's jaw with a big knee drop. Dan Funk drags Sadoa up and gives them a European uppercut back to the jaw. Sadoa stumbles back and Dan Funk jumps into a dropkick that sends Sadoa backwards into their corner. Captain EWC reaches down and tags himself in off Sadao's foot. Captain EWC jumps into the ring into a spear into Dan Funk. Captain EWC drags Dan up by his head and sends him into the ropes with a whip, on the rebound Captain EWC jumps into a shoulder block but Dan Funk catches him into a cutter! Dan grabs on a cravat and drags Captain EWC up while keeping it locked on. Dan drags Cap over to his corner and tags out to Brodie. Heat Packers quickly pull Captain EWC into a double DDT.

The duo drag Captain EWC up and send him into the ropes, on the rebound they take him off his feet with a brutal double lariat. Brodie gets the tag out to Brain Knight, who comes up and catches Captain EWC with a superkick to the back of his head while he tries to stand.

ONE!



TWO!!


Kickout by Captain EWC!

Woo: The House are working like a well oiled the machine and running wild over The House Hunters in their return. 

Gomez: That's how the betting odds predicted!

Jon Snow jumps into the ring and rushes over to his brother, catching Brian in the side of the face with a dropkick. Mark Paulson jumps into the ring and rushes over, giving Jon Snow a superkick right on the button. Jon Snow stumbles but comes back with a lariat that takes both men off their feet to the outside. Brian crawls over to the corner and tags out to Dan Funk, at the same time Captain EWC gets the tag out to Hiroyoshi Fujinami.

Hiroyoshi jumps into the ring and catches Dan Funk with back to back to back knife edged chops. Dan swings wild with a punch, but Hiroyoshi ducks it and gives him another chop to the base of the skull. Dan stumbles forward, and when he turns around he catches another chop to the chest, followed by a roundhouse kick. Dan falls forward to his knees and Hiroyoshi jumps over Dan's shoulders while bringing Dan into a flipping powerbomb with the yoshi tonic! Brodie rushes into the ring with a lariat into Hiroyoshi to break up the pinfall early. Sadao jumps into the ring and takes Brodie out with a massive lariat of their own. Next Level roll into the ring and catch Sadao with a double superkick. Sadao yells through the pain and takes them both out with a double lariat. Sadao drags up Dan Funk by his head and then spikes him down with a brainbuster in the center of the ring. Hiroyoshi makes the cover!

ONE!



KICKOUT BY DAN FUNK!

Woo: Wow. Big kickout by Dan Funk there!

Gomez: House Hunters haven't done near enough to The House to get the victory here, that's for sure. 

Sadao and Hiroyoshi drag Dan up and send him into the ropes. On the rebound Hiroyoshi hits a lariat while Sadao hits a spear. Before Hiroyoshi can go for the cover, Next Level catch him in the back of the head with a double superkick. Brodie comes up from behind Sadao and pulls them back into a German suplex, head first into the bottom turnbuckle. Captain EWC launches himself into the ring, with a headbutt into Brodie's heart. As he jumps up to his feet, Next Level get another double superkick out, sending Captain EWC back to the floor.

Jon Snow comes up from behind Next Level and gets off a double clubbing lariat to take them off their feet. While Jon Snow checks up on Hiroyoshi, he gets spun around and dropped with a spinebuster by Dan Funk. Dan Funk mounts Jon Snow and rains down the punches until Jon's busted open. Dan Funk throws Jon out of the ring. 

Woo: This is looking bad for The House Hunters. 

Gomez: This feels like an extended squash match, this is a bit uncomfortable. 

Dan Funk drags Hiroyoshi up into a piledriver hold, while Brodie Dawson jumps off the second rope to assist Dan into spiking Hiroyoshi down on his head with a piledriver. On the outside, Captain EWC and Sadao try to roll back into the ring, but Next Level rush into suicide dives to take the pair out! Dan Funk covers Hiroyoshi!

ONE!



TWO!!



THREE!!!

DING DING DING

Dobrev: And your winner, via pinfall over Hiroyoshi Fujinami... THE HEAT PACKERS AND NEXT LEVEL... THE HOUSE!

Dan Funk and Brodie Dawson begin to stomp a mud hole in Hiroyoshi, before raising their hands high and hugging. The former Tag Champs looking tall in victory. On the outside Next Level continue to stomp down on Captain EWC and Sadao. 

Woo: House Hunters got absolutely washed in this match. 2024 is going to be a rough year for them. 

Gomez: The stable might be best off retiring at this point. Sadao should just join The House instead of this miserable outfit. 

Woo: I hate to say it, but maybe the detractors are right. Maybe once a comedy group, always a comedy group. The House Hunters need something big to bring them back. 

Gomez: And miracles only happen in fiction. 

Camera cuts to ...

[FN'R]

M$J: A good soldier is prepared for war even in a time of peace. Make no mistakes though Callie, this is War. You may get to pick the advantage but that doesn’t matter. I will rule this match with an iron fist.

He holds up the infinity gauntlet that he bought from the costume shop. It gets a cheer from the New York crowd at The SafeHouse. Marcu$ then takes off the gauntlet and throws it in the trash. This gets a slight boo from the crowd now as they chant “put it back on”. He laughs at the chant for a moment then looks down at the gauntlet in the trash can.

M$J: Nah, I don’t need it. This match isn’t about costumes, it isn’t about who has the most money in their account, who holds the most titles, it’s about who wants it the most. I’m prepared for Callie. House rules right? Maybe it’s a 2 on 1 handicap match, a hand tied behind my back, maybe you get to hit a finisher on me before the match starts, or maybe you have a special referee. None of that matters to me.

Taking a moment to think of all the possibilities running through his head, he rubs his head for a few seconds.

M$J: I’m literally walking into this blind. I have no idea what your twisted mind will think of but what I do know is that you lied when you said you don’t need the advantage. Bullshit Callie! You know what I’m capable of and while you have shown yourself to be a worthy and competent opponent, you’ll stop at nothing to gain the advantage to win this match. It will look bad to lose in your city, at your PPV, in front of your people. Embarrassing you in #YourHouse will be just as good as winning a title. Wiping that cocky smirk off of your face is worth the price of admission and then some. Oh and speaking of blind.

A grin slides across his face. He pulls out a bag with a dollar sign on it. He proceeds to turn the bag over revealing nothing but coins falling out of the bag.

M$J: You want to bring up pirate Chris, my past transgressions, even say that we are pretty much the same. What you fail to realize is that I’ve grown but I remain as vicious as ever in that ring. Ask your stablemates JoJo and Cosmo just how tough it is to face me, but you already know from War Games and Capture the Flag right? You’re not taking this seriously and it shows. I was wrong for blinding that kid and it was an accident, but when I blind you it won’t be a mistake, it’ll be on purpose. I don’t like you, I don’t like The House, and I am going to make sure every single person who paid to get in here and who is watching from home knows that 100 percent. When I beat you, I’m going to take over your city, have everyone cheering on my victory as you pick your jaw up off the floor and maybe an eyeball to boot. You will realize that we are nothing of the same, not in or outside the ring, and finally you will realize that Marcu$ $t. John is MONEY. You can take that to the bank and cash it.

He turns the bag of coins back over and shakes it revealing that he still has some in there left for Callie Clark’s face.

M$J: It’s a party right? Let’s dance bitch!

---

Black screen.

Male Voiceover: Last season… on NextGen…

‘The Good Life’ by Three Days Grace plays as we start to see some of last season’s events.


#The good life is what I need
Too many people stepping over me
The only thing that’s been on my mind
Is the one thing I need before I die



NextGen #6
Shrine Auditorium & Expo Hall
Los Angeles California

Flashes of the first show.

Viper dropping Donny J to the mat with the ‘Poison Kiss’

Maximiliano Menendes-Mendoza laying Eddy Maverick out with the ‘Maximizer’

Alexander Devin stopping Brandon Abstract in his tracks with ‘Foreshadowing’

Alex Arthur of Amityville Horror, putting down Justice from JUST US with a ‘Whiplash 2.0’



#All I want
Is a little of the good life
All I need
Is to have a good time
Oh
The good life



NextGen #7
Club Vinyl
Denver, Colorado

A quick succession of clips from the second show.

Medea locking Eddy Maverick in ’Hecate’s Vengeance’

Maximiliano Menendes-Mendoza of Fuego y Deseo, neutralizing Alex Arthur of Amityville Horror with the ’Maximizer’

Kenzie Ford obliterating Viper with a Shooting Star Press

Mark Storm slamming Alexander Devin down with a ’Hero's End’



#All I want
Is a little of the good life
All I need is to have a good time
The good life
(The good life)



NextGen #8
Field Museum
Chicago, Illinois

A playback of the third show.


Eddy Maverick picking up the win over Luce Cannon after the ’Booming Blade’

’Poison Kiss’ by Viper onto Alex Arthur

Kenzie Ford continuing her career with another Shooting Star Press onto Alexander Devin

ZERO bringing Frankie Sanchez’s world crashing down with a ’Dividing By Zero’



#I don't really know who I am
It's time for me to take a stand
I need a change and I need it fast
I know that any day could be the last



NextGen #9 (Season Finale)
Pier 94
New York City, New York

A fast run through of the season finale.

Maxi Menendez-Mendoza welcoming back JTC with a ’Maximizer’

Kenzie Ford lighting ZERO up with a Shooting Star Press



#All I want
Is a little of the good life
All I need
Is to have a good time
The good life



WrestleFest XXI
Lincoln Financial Field
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

A succession of clips from the NextGen Championship Match

ZERO smashes an unconscious Maxi Menendez-Mendoza’s head with the steel stairs

Kenzie Ford eliminating Viper with her trademark Shooting Star Press

Kenzie Ford eyes up ZERO before flying through the air with a Shooting Star Press

The final shot is of Kenzie Ford holding up the EWC NextGen Championship Title, Sunny Skye in the background.

We slowly fade out to another black screen.

Male Voiceover: How could we ever top that?

One after another, descriptions pop up.

Top left corner, ‘The Frozen One’.

Top right corner, ‘The Cheesy One’

Middle left, ‘The “Don’t Drink The Water” One’

Middle right, ‘The Exploding One’

Bottom left corner, ‘The Flooded One’

Bottom right corner, ‘The Mystery One’

All of it slowly fades as we see a tall, skinny man, dressed in blue jeans and a black ‘NextGen’ shirt, standing in the middle of a road that is cracked, overgrown with vegetation, and graffiti all over it.

Isaac Hale: Who will end Season Twenty-Five as the EWC NextGen Champion? Who can dethrone Kenzie Ford? Who… is… next?

And with that, we pan out to show the larger overgrown, abandoned looking town. A house here and there, decaying roads.

Then black screen.

[FN'R]

We return to ringside and cut back to the commentary desk.

Woo: And now we have our Champion Vs Champion bout. This is sure to deliver!

Gomez: This is one I've been waiting for all night long. 

Dobrev: The following match is a Champion Vs Champion House Rules bout... In this bout, M$J is prohibited from using submissions or rest holds! Coming to the ring at 6'1" and weighing 220 lbs, it's The Young Mogul, The EWC TV Champion ... MARCU$ $T. JOHN!

"Money" blasts through the arena by The Game. M$J slowly walks out onto the entrance ramp with a Money Gun and soaks in the cheers. He pumps up the crowd more before posing on the center of the entrance ramp. He walks down to the ring shooting the gun which splashes out $100 dollar bills as the fans go crazy with a huge smile on his face.

He stops right before he gets to the ring and listens as he hears cheers that he is getting from the crowd. He walks around the ring shooting more money out. He jumps up on the apron and wipes his feet before he enters the ring and poses in the middle of the squared circle as a light shines a hundred dollar bill in the center of the ring with his face on it.

Dobrev: And his opponent, from New York, New York, weighing in at 115 pounds. She is The Indy Champion and holder of The Prime Minister Necklace. NOW TRENDING WORLD WIDE... THE GOLDEN GODDESS... CALLIE CLARK!

A red carpet is rolled out going from the stage to the bottom of the ramp, and Bad Reputation hits as the lights turn gold in the arena. Callie comes out with Tori walking out behind her, and strikes a pose showing off her Loki cosplay as pyro goes off behind her. Callie's paparazzi takes pictures of her as she walks down the ramp, taunting the fans as she goes. As she reaches ringside, Tori goes ahead of Callie, holding open the ropes so Callie can step through, and walk to the middle of the ring, where she strikes a pose again while winking at the camera. She then goes to her corner as the music cuts.

Woo: Champ Vs Champ. TV Vs Indy. Who will reign supreme?

DING DING DING

With the sound of the bell, Callie and M$J begin to circle each other. M$J raises up his hands for a tie-up, but Callie gives him a boot to the stomach and pulls him into a headlock. M$J uses his size advantage to get out of the headlock and pull Callie into a sleeper-hold. Toyo is quick to break the hold and scold M$J, giving Callie room to punch M$J's nose while grabbing his hand and Irish-whipping him away from her. On the rebound Callie catches M$J with a slingblade. M$J rolls up to his feet, but a dropkick to the face puts him back down. As M$J stands, Callie rushes up and jumps into a cannonball to wipe him back out a third time. M$J rolls out to the outside, Callie grabs the top-rope and then leaps out of the ring into a planchas, but M$J counters with a sick punch into Callie's jaw!

Woo: That'll turn the tide of this match back into John's favor. 

Gomez: Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth after all. 

M$J drags Callie up by her face and then sends that face right into the ring-post. The impact flips Callie inside out and she lands on her stomach. M$J jumps up onto the apron and as Callie pushes herself up to her hands and knees, he leaps off into a meteora, slamming her face first back into the padded concrete. M$J drags Callie up and rolls her into the ring. He's quick to scale the apron up the top turnbuckle and then jump in for the frog spl... No Callie moves out of the way!

M$J bounces up to his feet off the impact, holding his stomach and gasping for air. Callie Clark is quick to her feet while spinning around and catching M$J right on the button with a spinning back-fist! He folds like a sack of puppies. Callie covers!

ONE!

... KICKOUT BY M$J!

Callie drags M$J up and sends him into the corner. She shakes off some cobwebs and then gives chase to jump up and give the lifted knee. M$J falls down to a seated position. Callie jumps out of the corner and then jumps immeditally into another cannonball right into M$J's face. Callie rolls off M$J and drags him by his ankle to the middle of the ring, where she mounts him for some ground and pound before transitioning into a cover. 

ONE!



TWO!... KICKOUT BY M$J!

Woo: Callie is slowly witling away at M$J, and she looks to continue The House's pretty dominant run thus-far in our Pay Per View. 

Gomez: The home field advantage is really, well, advantageous thus far. 

Callie Clark gets up to her feet and grabs a hold of M$J's right hand, M$J tries to resist but she stomps down into his face twice before snapping his index and middle finger out of socket. M$J winces in pain, but Callie stomps down on his face and neck and chest some more. In the crowd, M$Js daughters begin to cheer for their dad. Callie smirks before rolling out of the ring and getting in their face. "Your dad ain't shit. You ain't shit", etc etc. Callie flips both children off, getting her middle finger right up against their face. When she turns around, she sees a very pissed off M$J leaping off the top rope into her with a flying frog splash!

M$J starts to punch down on Callie, over and over and over. Callie's soon busted open. M$J drags Callie up and then he repeatedly smashes her face into the apron before rolling her into the ring. M$J steps up onto the top-rope and then leaps into the ring, landing a knee-drop on the back of Callie's head. M$J drags Callie up and sends her into the ropes, catching her on the rebound with a STIFF superkick that sends Callie back into the ropes again. M$J reaches into his pocket and throws a handful of coins into Callie's face. Callie falls down to her knees. M$J grabs on the headlock, then lifts up into a fisherman-s buster, down into a brain-buster. Bankrupt! Cover!

ONE!



TWO!!


THREE... KICKOUT BY CALLIE CLARK!

Woo: Callie Clark has just kicked out of Bankrupt! One of M$J's strongest moves!

Gomez: I'm no wrestling historian, but I have to assume not many people have done that! 

M$J shakes his head and says okay, okay. Before making his way back to the corner and up the turnbuckle. M$J leaps down going for another frog-splash, but Callie Clark again rolls out of the way. Callie is quick to the corner, and begins to jump back into the CallieSault, but M$J kips up right as Callie jumps! M$J catches Callie Clark and transitions her midair down into a bounced check! M$J rushes to the corner, and jumps for it again... NO! Callie moves again! Callie Clark flips off the second rope down into a Calliesault, this one landing flush on M$J! Callie covers!

ONE!



TWO!!



THREE!... KICKOUT BY M$J!

Woo: TIT FOR TAT! M$J has kicked out of CallieSault!

Gomez: Another really strong move. These two are digging in deep!

Callie Clark drags M$J up to his knees, before kneeing him in the face repeatedly. Callie backs up into the ropes and comes flying in for Reality Warp, but M$J leaps up and catches Callie between the eyes with his own knee-strike out of nowhere! M$J drags Callie up into an Argentine backbreaker, before dropping her right on the top of her head in the middle of the ring with Bread and Butter! M$J covers!

ONE!



TWO!!



THREE!!!

DING DING DING

Dobrev: And your winner, via pinfall... MARCU$ $T. JOHN!

M$J immeditally rolls out of the ring while clutching his ribs to celebrate with his kids. Back in the ring, Callie Clark rolls out of the ring and crashes to the padded concrete. She drags herself up and yells for her championship, which she hugs as she limps to the back. 

Woo: That was a very even back and forth match, but in the end the Television Champion was too enraged at Callie's treatment of his daughters to backdown. 

Gomez: I'd love to see a rematch, keep the distractions from ringside and make this a fair fight! Plus, to get into Bread & Butter, M$J had to get into an Argentine hold. Callie was screwed out of winning!

Woo: Well, I don't agree with your reasoning... I would like to see a rematch as well!

Gomez: Get your own ideas nerd. 

Camera cuts to ...

[FN'R]

As Callie Clark walks backstage, her face all bruised and battered after he defeat to M$J, a TV monitor next to her springs to life.

WOO: What the hell is going on?

GOMEZ: I have no clue, but you would think The House would've made sure the grid was safe before they hosted this event!

The screen of the monitor begins to play the following video...

Callie Clark looks confused at the television, before turning her attention to the camera-man watching her.

CALLIE CLARK: Am I supposed to be afraid of some mysterious person saying they're coming for me??

Callie chuckles and shakes her head.

CALLIE CLARK: Whoever it is can start at the back of the line and try to earn their 15 minutes of fame just like everybody else. I just had the most dominant season I ever had, I'll knock them out or break their arm just like I do everybody else.

The television gives a big pop and a puff of smoke as the screen dies.

[FN'R]

We cut out to the entrance of the warehouse, and there we see JoJo Rush get out of his ride and start to head into the building. 

Woo: Looks like JoJo Rush has finally arrived and now he and Grizzly Duggan can get to this big men slapping meat match of respect! 

Gomez: I really don't think either of these men are going to quit here, we might see a Hall Of Famer and Hardcore Champion both die!

As JoJo makes his way through the various halls out towards the ring, there is a loud crackling noise. JoJo stops walking and looks inquisitively at the wall to his left. The noise stops and JoJo shrugs before taking a step for... the wall to JoJo's right explodes as Grizzly Duggan lunges through the wall into a spear into JoJo that takes them both clean through the wall to his left.  

The two mammoths tussle around on the ground while rolling over on top of each other before JoJo gets the upper hand and starts to ground and pound down on Duggan's big stupid face. Right fist, left fist, right fist, left fist, Joe raises both hands and brings down the ax-handle double fists into Duggan's face over and over. Duggan's right hand explodes up to JoJo's throat and Duggan begins to choke the life outta JoJo while standing them both up. Grizzly lifts Rush and goes for the chokeslam, but JoJo leaps from Duggan's arm back into a Lou Thesz Press complete with punches. JoJo gets off Duggan and yells out for the bell, which sounds from somewhere else in the building. 

DING DING DING

JoJo grabs Duggan up by his wrist and drags the monster up into an irish-whip into the door, the impact sending the door off its hinges and Duggan back into the hallway. Duggan pushes himself up, and JoJo comes up from behind and big-boots the back of Duggan's head, sending him face first into the wall. JoJo grabs Duggan's waist and rips the HoFer backwards into a German suplex. Duggan rolls through the suplex to his feet and when JoJo turns around Duggan cold-cocks him with a solid right hook. JoJo stumbles back and Duggan launches himself into a shotgun dropkick that sends JoJo flying backwards through the wall he booted Duggan's face into it.

Duggan pushes himself up and shakes out the cobwebs before following JoJo through the wall into a kitchen, where JoJo smashes a frying pan right into Duggan's face. Duggan falls down, his face gushing blood like a damn hose spigot. 

Woo: JoJo Rush is a psychopath and look at how much blood Duggan is losing right now! Stop the damn match!

Gomez: This one is just getting started!

As Grizzly tries to push himself up off his hands and knees, Rush comes in and catches Duggan in the back of his head with a cast iron frying pan assisted big iron flying elbow to the back of the head. JoJo drags Duggan up to his knees and then pulls him up and over down into a uranage right on the frying pan. JoJo drags Duggan up by his beard, spits in his face, and hits another uranage down on the cast iron frying pan. JoJo can be heard telling Duggan to just give up and respect him. JoJo walks over to the refrigerator and opens up the door. He heads back over to Duggan and drags him up by his wrist before Irish-whipping him up and right into the fridge door! The door is torn clean off its hinges and Duggan keeps going until he hits the wall. Duggan stumbles backwards from the wall and spins around, throwing the dislodged door at JoJo like a damn Frisbee, catching JoJo clean in his sternum and knocking him off his feet.

JoJo rolls over onto his stomach and gasps for air as the winds knocked out of him. Grizzly Duggan bends down and grabs a kitchen chair, before heading over to JoJo and smashing it down on his back, shattering it into a billion pieces. Duggan bends over and grabs JoJo's head before dragging him up and beil tossing him over into the stove, shattering the glass top with JoJo's face and busting him open as well. Duggan walks over to JoJo and grabs his head and then he slams it down over and over and over and over and over, again and again and again and again into the shattered glass top of the stove. Duggan drags JoJo away from the stove, and then he licks his fucking face before yelling in his face to respect him. JoJo grabs Duggan's waist and rips him backwards into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, landing Duggan right on the top of his head! JoJo crawls out of the kitchen while Duggan struggles to stand, slipping on his blood, JoJo's blood and broken glass, and a probable severe concussion. 

Woo: The year has only just began and I think we've already found the most brutal match of it. Like, I mean sincerely what the fuck.

Gomez: Duggan just fucking LICKED JoJo's face of blood and broken glass! Hardcore!

Duggan has finally found his footing and he goes limping down the hall looking for JoJo, following a trail of blood. The blood trail leads Griz to an open door, and as Duggan heads in he sees this is a gym.  JoJo whistles at Duggan before throwing him a 45 pound barbell. JoJo lifts his own and taunts Duggan to have at him. Duggan rushes over and the two begin to duel with their barbells. Clink, clink, clink as the steel on steel makes an ungodly noise. Duggan raises his barbell high to swing down on JoJo's head, but JoJo leaves his feet into a massive dropkick that sends Duggan backwards toppling over a squat rack. Duggan rushes to his feet, flinging a 50 pound weight at JoJo's head like nothing, JoJo ducks the weight and rushes into Duggan for a spear, but Duggan flips the spear up and down into a powerbomb on a weight bench, shattering the weight bench. Duggan drags Rush up by the scruff of his neck and the top of his pants before flinging him up off his feet into a front-flip back first into the large mirror in front of the dumbbells.

JoJo yells out in pain as the glass stabs into his back, while grabbing a 30 pound dumbbell and flinging it into Duggan's chest. Duggan loses his footing and slumps back against the wall, gasping for air. JoJo grabs up a 50 pound dumbbell and throws it with all his might, Duggan is just barely able to move as the dumbbell smashes where his head was. Duggan pushes himself up, JoJo pushes himself up. The two sprint at each other and collide with a double-lariat so powerful, if this was an anime you'd see shockwaves shoot off them both and break ever window within a ten mile radius. But since this is real life, instead they just knock each other the fuck out and fall like sacks of potatoes! 

Woo: Double knock-out blows! 

Gomez: But neither man quit and said they respect. This one is still going!

After what feels like maybe three minutes of motionlessness, JoJo Rush begins to crawl. Duggan rolls off his back to his stomach and crawls after JoJo. The two men crawl out of the gym, down the hallway, through another door out onto the ramp. Down the ramp into the ring. The fan goes crazy for this one finally in the ring. Both men stand and slam into each other with another lariat. And another lariat. And another lariat. That last lariat sends Duggan down on one knee. JoJo drags Duggan up by his beard while swinging with another lariat, but Duggan catches JoJo and spins him around down into a powerslam! JoJo pops up off his feet and smashes a double ax-handle double chop right into Duggan's chest with Stormbringer! Duggan hits the canvas and is quickly back to his feet as he and JoJo send another brutal double lariat into each other and fall down to their knees. 

Woo: Something has to give. These men cannot keep going at this level. SOMETHING has to give!

Gomez: And I think something will, their lives!

JoJo steps up to his feet while grabbing Duggan's head and dragging him up, JoJo brings his own head into Duggan's with a massive headbutt. Blood begins to pour down both men's head even more while they stand dazed and stunned. Duggan takes a step back, on wobbled legs. Another step back, and another. JoJo raises his arms and taunts Duggan with a double middle finger salute. Duggan takes a step forward and punches JoJo in the mouth. JoJo takes a step back and then swings for a punch, but Duggan ducks the punch and flings into a lariat into the back of JoJo's head. The impact sends JoJo off his feet into a front-flip down to his ass in a seated position. Duggan spins around and drags JoJo up with both hands clasped around his throat for a double chokeslam, but JoJo catches Duggan into a DDT, spiking him right on his head. Both men start to laugh while on the canvas, laughing like damned hyenas. As if out of a mutual understanding, they both roll over onto their stomachs and shake hands. 

DING DING DING

Dobrev: And your winner, via double forfeit, DRAW!

JoJo pushes himself up, immeditally falling down to a knee as his back gives out from the work Duggan did to it. Duggan tries to push himself up, but he's unable as his hands are completely numb from the damage to his head and spine. Both men are still cackling like damn jokers, while refusing the aid of medical staff. 

Woo: Well that was one of the most insane matches I've ever seen, and I don't really think anything can top it. 

Gomez: I'm shocked either man is breathing right now. They should be dead. They might be dead and are just too brain damaged to know??

Woo: Regardless of their living situation, one things for sure. This pond IS big enough for both these fish. And they have found a mutual respect for each other.

Gomez: Who knows, maybe we could see Grizzly Duggan join The House after this!

Camera cuts to ...

[FN'R]

Sitting in his locker room is Cosmo Goldworthy, tying his boots and making sure that he’s as ready as he can be for his main event match tonight. Cosmo reaches over to his locker, taking the EWC United States Championship and staring at it. He looks up to Dimitri Graves, who has a proud grin while staring down at Cosmo.

Dimitri Graves: When I enlisted Jack Severn’s services in the EWC, I was of high hope that he would one day become a superstar and a champion..

Dimitri scoffs, reminiscing upon Jack’s constant failures afterwards.

Dimitri Graves: ..But not only did he disappoint me, but he disappointed all of The House as a collective. Tonight you do battle with El Pablo and not only do you defeat him at his mightiest but you show everyone why you’re main eventing the night over everyone else in the group. This is our first month working together and you’ve already shown to be everything that I hoped for in a client.

Cosmo adjusts his championship, chuckling at the compliments being given to him by Dimitri. He doesn’t cut him off though, instead doing his best to focus solely on the match.

Dimitri Graves: I suppose that I don’t have much room to speak nowadays, considering that I’m not allowed to be a member of The House.. But they haven’t kicked you out, have they? They won’t– and they can’t. So are you going to disappoint Cosmo, or are you going to rise to the occasion?

Cosmo looks back up to Dimitri, finally speaking.

Cosmo Goldworthy: ‘Disappoint’ isn’t in my DNA, Dimitri. I don’t know what it means – I never will. Tonight won’t be easy.. But it also ain’t somethin’ i can’t conquer. I asked you to manage me for a reason, I know what my future holds for me and with someone like you at my side.. I can do whatever I want.

Dimitri smirks, although Cosmo isn’t just quite finished yet.

Cosmo Goldworthy: Just remember this is my night, and while there’s some truth to what you’re saying.. I’m a member of The House 4 Lyfe.. And well, I’m not looking to ruffle any feathers.

The camera can’t quite make out what Cosmo actually said, but it appears to be a “..yet” that he mouths to Dimitri..? Regardless, the United States Champion rises to his feet and lugs his championship onto his shoulder. Based by Dimitri’s expression, he looks far from upset from Cosmo’s words. The high IQ and always planning ahead manager seems to be a bit intrigued by what Cosmo means.

Cosmo Goldworthy: Let’s go.

Both men head out of the door, presumably to get closer to ringside for the upcoming main event match.

[FN'R]

We return to ringside where the fans in side of The Safehouse are buzzing in excitement of tonight’s big time main event, El Pablo versus Cosmo Goldworthy.

Woo: It’s a battle of one of Shinijoshi’s newest acquisitions versus one of The House’s hottest acquisitions! The EWC World Tag Team Champion El Pablo faces off against the EWC United States Champion Cosmo Goldworthy in a Pure Rules match that may be remembered for years to come!

Gomez: We’ve all been waiting for this tonight! This is the moment for Cosmo Goldworthy to rise above like everyone knows he can and defeat El Pablo in the main event of House Party, but there’s no counting out El Pablo, even if the rules don’t play in his favor tonight!

Dobrev: The following match is scheduled under Pure Rules! Joining us first, from Puebla City, Mexico, weighing in at 180 pounds ... he is 1/2 of the EWC WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS ... ”THE TECHNICOLOR TECNICO” EL PABLO!

A cry of “VIVA LA RAINBOWLUTION!!!” leads to ‘Party Hard’ by Andrew WK hitting the soundsystem, as the stage and ringside area becomes bathed in flashing, flickering, brightly-coloured lighting. As the main hook hits, El Pablo bursts through the curtain, playing to the fans and chugging Skittles like a Steveweiser. He charges down the ramp and slides under the ropes into the ring, before running up the turnbuckle and tossing a couple of fistfuls of Skittles out into the adoring crowd. After offering a final salute, he hops back down to the canvas, handing his belt to the referee and performing a few final stretches as his music fades.

Dobrev: And his opponent, from The Golden State, weighing in at 201 pounds ... accompanied by Dimitri Graves … HE IS THE EWC UNITED STATES CHAMPION ... COSMO GOLDWORTHY!

Gold and white lights strobe around the arena as 'Mo Money Mo Problems' blares through the PA boxes. Cosmo Goldworthy swaggers out with a smug grin on his face, the EWC United States Championship hugging close to his waist. Dimitri Graves follows behind Cosmo with a sinister expression, staring daggers through Pablo in the ring. Cosmo stops at the start of the ramp, extending his arms out. "Enjoy it while 'ya got it, baby!" He shouts out, chuckling to himself as he continues to walk down the ramp. Cosmo looks at the fans reaching out and gives Too Sweets the fans sporting The House merchandise. Dimitri pats Cosmo on the shoulders, pointing to the ring and reminding him to keep his eyes on the prize. He slides up the apron and enters the ring, proceeding to march over to the top rope and raise his arms up one more time. Cosmo nods his head to the tune of his theme song, dropping off the top rope. He shimmies his shoulders, removing his Louis Vuitton® sponsored entrance gear before the match begins. He unbuckles the United States Championship around his waist and hands it out to Dimitri outside the ring, but before he can lock in on this match starting..

..It’s brought to his attention that the special panel of judges for this match are about to be revealed!

Woo: I know you’re all waiting to hear the bell sound, myself included.. But there are three judges scheduled to make a decision at this match in the result of a draw, and it’s time we reveal them!

The crowd has remained split for both of men thus far, with the split EWC & House fans in the building.. But the first judge make themselves known, it’s the mastermind Alastor Gray! There’s a look of relief on the face of Cosmo and Dimitri, who are aware that Alastor has deep hatred for Dimitri, but know that he would much rather a Housemate win tonight than a Shinijoshi member. El Pablo frowns underneath the mask, clearly contemplating the idea of The House purposely stacking the judges against him..

..But the next name revealed is bound to have a very objective perspective, because it’s Prime commentator Phil Brooks! Cosmo raises an eyebrow, but Pablo gives Phil a nod. There’s a pop for the former fighter and (failed– well it’s on the mind of Cosmo) actor. He takes a seat along with Alastor, and Dimitri tries to walk over and offer Phil a handshake, but Phil refuses to shake his hand! He glares at Phil, and Alastor returns a death stare of his own at Dimitri, forcing him to back away for now.

There’s commotion as they await the final judge.. And it’s a collective roar of cheers and boos. It’s Shinijoshi’s very own Narumi Tsutsumi! Pablo is EXTREMELY pleased to see Narumi here and she gives her stablemate a wave, meanwhile Cosmo is trying to protest to the referee and everyone hearing him that this isn’t fair! Despite Cosmo’ cries, Narumi shrugs him off and takes a seat with the rest. Alastor remains locked in on the ring, while Phil seems to get on well with his fellow Prime roster member, especially in comparison to Dimitri’s attempts to get his attention. The referee is trying his best to calm Cosmo down, but this decision has completely rattled the United States Champion! And as he’s trying to recollect himself – THE BELL RINGS!

Gomez: Did they just ring the bell– the bell just rang!

Woo: Cosmo Goldworthy has only got a couple of seconds to cool down and focus on El Pablo, and this is the exact kind of guy you don’t want to lose track of!

Gomez: That’s not fair at all! He wasn’t ready! He’s CLEARLY not ready!

DING DING DING

Cosmo shakes his head, stomping to the center of the ring as Pablo meets him in the center. Cosmo is still ranting about Narumi being a judge, but Pablo puts his hand out to abide by the handshake at the start, and Cosmo aggressively shakes his hand. He lets go, and both men jump into a vicious collar and elbow tie-up! Both men fight for control, and Pablo snaps free to grab Cosmo in a side headlock! Cosmo yelps out in pain, reaching for the ropes as Pablo wrenches in that headlock with all of his might. He applies added pressure, using pure technique to rattle Cosmo and hold him down. Cosmo is the stronger competitor though, and eventually he gets Pablo to the ropes and shoots him off across the ring. There’s a bounce in Cosmo’s next step as he flies off with a shoulder block that drops Pablo right to the mat! He stares down at Pablo and bounces off the ropes for a knee drop, but Pablo rolls over in an attempt to trip him - forcing Cosmo to jump over. Both men are up and Pablo shows his agility with a leapfrog over Cosmo’s head! Cosmo turns back to Pablo in shock, and Pablo tosses him overhead with a beautiful armdrag! Pablo kneels up, holding Cosmo’s arm and locking in a kneeling armbar. Cosmo grits his teeth, reaching for the ropes again. Pablo decides to add insult to the injury by placing his knee on the jaw of Cosmo. Cosmo groans as Pablo’s knee is digging into his jaw and Pablo is furiously pulling back on that arm. Toyo Yasahiro questions Cosmo if he wants to quit, but despite a couple of grunts, the United States Champion is still fresh and shows no signs of quit. He slowly rolls himself to his fours, while Pablo still holds onto that arm. Cosmo works himself up slowly, and starts backing Pablo against the ropes. He breaks free, snagging Pablo’s wrist and sending him off with an irish whip. Cosmo looks to take Pablo’s head off with a heavy handed haymaker but Pablo ducks under and takes the waist! He tries to take him to the ropes for an O’Connor Roll, but Cosmo holds on and Pablo is forced to backroll off of Cosmo. Cosmo turns back to Pablo and Pablo throws a kick to the shin of Cosmo! Cosmo yelps at his own offense being used against him, and Pablo fires off ANOTHER kick to the shin! Cosmo groans, and Pablo bounces off the ropes but Cosmo takes him down with a drop toe hold! He floats over the back of Pablo, transitioning to a front facelock. Pablo grunts as he’s once again being overwhelmed. He tries his hardest to get back up but Cosmo drags him right back down! Cosmo has a cocky grin on his face, knowing that he’s got Pablo exactly where he wants him. Pablo reaches out but the crowd isn’t quite rallying behind anyone yet. Pablo plants his hands onto the mat. He starts to fight the fingers of Cosmo, trying to get wrist control and spin out of this front facelock. It’s not easy though, as the growing submission proficiency of Cosmo shows added with him lying his body weight onto Pablo’s neck and back. Pablo remains patience so far, not trying to blow up like Cosmo did at the start of the match. Cosmo has that front facelock in tight and all three judges show great focus, as grapple control will play a huge factor in the result of a time limit draw. Pablo once again starts trying to get himself up, and Cosmo tries to transition to a guillotine, but Pablo puts his leg inbtween Cosmo’s legs and trips him onto his back. He takes the ankle of Cosmo, flipping him over to his stomach. Cosmo plants his hands onto his mat and rolls forward, kicking Pablo back as his body catapults upwards. Pablo is right back up to his feet and while Cosmo is taking his time to get up, Pablo takes advantage and tosses him overhead with a side headlock takedown! Pablo floats to the side, forcing Cosmo’s shoulders onto the mat.

ONE!

Cosmo raises his shoulder up, but Pablo still has that headlock in again! Cosmo places his hand at Pablo’s face, trying to force his head back and get some advantage. Yasahiro warns him about grabbing the mask, while a frustrated Cosmo grunts under his breath “I’m not grabbin’ shit!” Pablo keeps focus, albeit a bit amused by Cosmo’s anger. Cosmo starts to work his way up as Pablo keeps that headlock in to the best of his ability. Cosmo grabs onto Pablo’s waist and tries for a back suplex but Pablo lands behind him! Pablo gets the waist of Cosmo again and instead of bringing him to the ropes, forcing him down for that O’Connor Roll!

ONE!

Cosmo kicks out and both men rise to their feet! Pablo swings a palm strike but Cosmo catches the wrist, spinning into an arm wringer! Pablo yells out as Cosmo works that shoulder, and then proceeds to transition to a wristlock. Pablo is trying his absolute hardest to get free but he can’t. Cosmo applies torque on that wrist, twisting overhead. He places his boot on the back of Pablo’s leg, forcing him to a knee. Pablo groans in pain as Cosmo is working that arm of his. While Yasahiro asks Pablo if he wants to quit, Cosmo takes advantage of his focus on Pablo and starts to pull back the fingers of Pablo! Pablo yells even louder in pain as Cosmo is taking pretty much every advantage he can get! Pablo shakes his head as he starts to work his way up, but Cosmo spins under the arm and judo tosses him to the center of the ring! Cosmo goes down with Pablo, looking for a kimura lock but Pablo kicks his legs up, rolling them over! He looks to press Cosmo’s shoulders down for a pinfall but Cosmo spins out and takes the waist of Pablo, rolling the two into a seated position. Cosmo tries for a rear naked choke hold but he gets too ambitious and Pablo is able to backroll out of the hold with no bodyscissors applied. Pablo tries to grab at Cosmo’s arm to float into an armbar, but Cosmo wraps his hand around Pablo’s ankle and trips him onto his stomach. Cosmo floats over, taking at the ankle but Pablo kicks him back! Cosmo skids backwards to the turnbuckle and Pablo works his way up, and Cosmo comes back with a chop block! He rises to his feet, taking the ankle of Pablo. He nods, starting to twist the ankle! Pablo yells out, reaching for the hands of Cosmo! He raises his other leg up and Cosmo grabs at it to try and transition another submission.. But it’s a rookie mistake as Pablo tosses him overhead with a monkey flip!

The monkey flip sends Cosmo onto his back and Pablo and Cosmo lock hands while both are on their backs. Pablo tries to backroll over Cosmo, but Cosmo puts his feet up in the air and kicks Pablo back down! Cosmo rolls over, holding onto Pablo’s hands and uses his raw strength to pop Pablo up from the ground to the air to catch him – but Pablo transitions Cosmo’s attempts at a fireman’s carry lift into a crucifix pinfall, but Cosmo refuses to budge! He rolls forward, but it’s ANOTHER mistake made by the champion as he’s brought to the mat and Pablo has his arms in a crucifix! Pablo starts FIRING elbows at rapid pace as Cosmo is getting pummeled! He shakes his head, because he can’t use his arms! But Cosmo shifts his weight, forcing Pablo’s shoulders onto the mat! Pablo has enough awareness to release the hold, and both rise. Cosmo holds at his jaw as he swings a palm strike at Pablo, who ducks and push kicks him in the ribs. Cosmo falls backwards and Pablo walks over to grab at the head, but Cosmo pops him with a drop toe hold into the middle turnbuckle! Cosmo slowly rises up to his feet while Pablo holds at his jaw.. He turns to Cosmo, and Cosmo SCOOPS HIM UP AND SPINS INTO A SPINEBUSTER INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING! The ring shakes from the impact of both men hitting the mat, and there’s a loud roar from the crowd as believe it or not – that was the first slam of this match thus far! A frustrated Cosmo sits up, staring at the dazed and confused Pablo on the mat. Dimitri slaps the mat, reminding him to focus on this match and winning! Cosmo rolls over, covering Pablo as he drives his forearm into his jaw along with the pinfall.

ONE!

T-PABLO THROWS A SHOULDER UP!

Woo: Cosmo has the advantage so far but clearly El Pablo is in his head as he does away with the strikes and grappling and gets our first slam of this matchup!

Gomez: It may be Pure Rules but that doesn’t mean Cosmo is exempt from not utilizing all keys to victory! He may have been the first to make a slam, but that’s because he beat Pablo to the punch, not because Pablo is in his head!

Woo: His expression after that Spinebuster tells otherwise!

Cosmo rises up to his feet while Pablo is still trying to work himself up after being slammed so hard on the back of his head. Pablo tries his hardest to get up but he still needs a second to recollect. Cosmo looks at Pablo’s struggle and chuckles, and he boots him in the side of the head. Pablo winces. Cosmo boots him in the side of the head, daring him to get back up and fight him like a man! Pablo hears Cosmo’s words and all it does is motivate him to try and get back up! Cosmo boots him a third time, but this time Pablo is slowly up to his feet! Cosmo still isn’t taking Pablo serious and invites him to make a move.. And Pablo fires off a BLISTERING chop that rings throughout the entire Safehouse! Cosmo’s eyes bulge out of his head, as Pablo fires off ANOTHER chop! Cosmo winces out in pain, as Pablo starts throwing full blast chops! Cosmo tries to cover but can’t as he falls to the ropes! Pablo takes the wrist and irish whips Cosmo but Cosmo reverses it! Cosmo charges in after Pablo but Pablo dives out of the air into a flying body press! Cosmo holds his ribs as Pablo drives him down to the ring and he winces out in pain. He slowly gets up and Pablo lights him up with a series of palm strikes to the head and slaps to the chest! Cosmo leans on the ropes and Pablo pulls him back to the center, sending him flying backwards with a sitout jawbreaker! Cosmo hits the mat hard as he holds at his jaw, wheezing. Pablo rolls over for a cover but Cosmo crawls away just in time. Pablo smirks at Cosmo scattering away from him. He takes Cosmo’s head and lifts him up, but Cosmo shoves him backwards! Pablo stands his ground and stays up on his feet but Cosmo headstands into a Scorpion Kick! The kick drops Pablo right onto his ass, and Cosmo takes advantage and gets right back up to his feet! He bounces off the ropes with authority for a Penalty Kick, but Pablo drops to his back JUST in time! Cosmo overcharged on that kick and the swing and miss turns him to his back.. And Pablo reaches up and pulls him down with a schoolboy rollup!

ONE!

T–COSMO KICKS OUT!

Both men rise after that kickout, and Cosmo swings a roundhouse kick but Pablo ducks and leaps onto his shoulders! Cosmo refuses to let Pablo take him down though, so Pablo improvises into what looks to be a Victory Roll! But Cosmo holds onto his legs as they’re wrapped firmly around his waist, and he POPS HIM INTO THE AIR INTO A WHEELBARROW BACKSTABBER! The move catches everyone in attendance off guard, as the House’s top rookie is showing vast improvements as he learns on the job! Cosmo crawls over to Pablo for a cover of his own, but just like he did.. Pablo rolls away just in time. Cosmo kneels up, staring at the referee. “Why ain’t there a rule for runnin’ away?” He loudly ponders. Yasahiro waves off his question, reminding Cosmo that he just did the same thing. Cosmo rolls his eyes and takes his time to get Pablo up.. But that hesitation costs Cosmo as Pablo drives him throat first into the middle rope! Cosmo bounces off the middle rope, holding his throat in pain as he coughs out. Pablo works his way up and sees Cosmo hunched over, coughing out on the mat. Pablo nods and rushes into a CODE RED! THE IMPACT BOUNCES COSMO’S HEAD OFF THE MAT! Pablo transitions to the cover, looking to take the victory here!

ONE!

TW–COSMO KICKS OUT!

Cosmo slowly rolls off of impact and Pablo rises to his feet. Cosmo is up and Pablo drops him with a clothesline! Cosmo rises and this time Pablo drops him with a dropkick! Cosmo gets back up and swings for Pablo, but Pablo floats over into a neckbreaker! Pablo is up to his feet and he’s rocking now! The EWC fans make themselves heard as they cheer loudly for the Technicolor Tecnico! Cosmo crawls to the turnbuckles and leans back in the corner. Pablo points to Cosmo and charges into a big knee to the chest in the corner! Pablo takes Cosmo’s wrist and irish whips him across to the other turnbuckles! Cosmo puts his foot out to stop his momentum at the middle turnbuckle and allows it to spin him back! Pablo charges in for that second knee regardless, but Cosmo charges into a SATELLITE DDT! Pablo is SPIKED on the top of his head! Cosmo hits the mat, taking a second to recuperate as the pace in this match has drastically changed. Pablo is trying to recollect after having his momentum cut off short, but clearly both men in this match are starting to feel the effects. Regardless, they start showing signs of life at the same time and work their way upwards. Cosmo meets Pablo with a palm strike to the jaw, and Pablo returns with one of his own! Pablo’s palm strike has a little more stank on it though, as Cosmo is on wobbly legs afterwards. Pablo sees this and bounces off the ropes for momentum, but Cosmo was playing possum as he catches Pablo with a SCORPION KICK! Pablo’s head leans downwards and Cosmo follows up with an Axe Kick – but Pablo evades it at the last second! Cosmo’s leg stomps down hard on the mat and he turns back to Pablo. Pablo bounces off the ropes, dropping him with a calf kick! Cosmo shakes his head, slowly rising after that kick. Pablo is waiting on him though, as he bounces off with another one! Pablo rises to his feet and extends his arms out, embracing whatever kind of reaction comes his way! While Cosmo is trying to get up, Pablo backs to the turnbuckles and climbs to the middle one.. Cosmo is finally up, and Pablo flies off the middle rope into a SPINNING HEEL KICK! Cosmo is flattened, and Pablo goes straight to the cover!

ONE!


TWO!


COSMO KICKS OUT!

First two count of the match, and it’s in favor of El Pablo! Cosmo holds his jaw, crawling to the bottom rope so he can spit out on the floor. Pablo grabs Cosmo by the head, but Cosmo slaps him in the ribs. He does it again, and then stomps the toe! Pablo groans and while Yasahiro is keeping a close watch, nothing is against foot stomps! Cosmo turns to grab the top rope, springboarding off the middle one into A SAVATE KICK! Pablo goes down, but Cosmo knows that’s not enough to get back at Pablo and secure a two count. He drags him up and goes for an exploder suplex but Pablo starts elbowing him on the back of his head! He keeps firing off elbows and Cosmo is forced to release the hold. Pablo wobbles backwards, but Cosmo snags the wrist and pulls him in for a TILT A WHIRL BACKBREAKER INSTEAD! He holds onto Pablo, taking him and forcing him up in the air for an exploder suplex! It's a nasty combination of moves as Cosmo crawls over into another pinfall!

ONE!


TW–PABLO KICKS OUT!

Somehow Pablo kicks out of that before two, and that’s what really ticks Cosmo off! He slaps the mat, trying his hardest to confirm with Yasahiro that it was not at least, a two count! Yasahiro retains that he kicked out after one, and Cosmo shakes his head. He grabs onto Pablo in a front facelock and looks to lift him for a supelx, but Pablo stands his ground! Cosmo tries for it again, but Pablo once again stands his ground! He sends some slaps to Cosmo’s body, forcing Cosmo to release. He holds onto his body, and Pablo starts firing off those elbow strikes! Cosmo tries his hardest to cover up, but it’s no use! Pablo spins behind, taking the waist and looking for a german suplex! Cosmo stands his ground though, but Pablo keeps trying! He holds onto Cosmo’s waist and slowly, but surely starts to elevate him off of the canvas.. But Cosmo drops them back down and frontrolls into a kneebar! Pablo yells out as Cosmo is still showing his submission prowess! Pablo reaches for the ropes, but tries his hardest to resist and not waste a rope break! Cosmo keeps pulling on that leg of Pablo! Pablo shakes his head and starts to roll to his side to alleviate the pressure. Pablo raises his free leg and starts to kick Cosmo in the face! Cosmo tries his hardest to keep the hold in but a kick gets him right on the nose and forces him to let go! Cosmo rolls away, holding his nose. He groans out in pain and Pablo rolls over, limping up to his feet. Cosmo slowly gets up and Pablo charges in off one leg and leaps into a HURRICANRANA! Cosmo gets sent onto his back, and Pablo twirls his finger around, signaling a rotation. It looks like he wants to go to the top rope in spite of his leg hurting him, but Cosmo rushes over and takes the legs, tripping Pablo onto his stomach!

Pablo faceplants hard on the mat, but suddenly Cosmo takes ahold of Pablo’s legs and DRAGS him away from the turnbuckles so he can LOCK IN THE HOUSE SPECIAL! AND AS HE HOLDS PABLO UPSIDE DOWN, PULLING DOWN ON PABLO’S LEGS! Pablo yells out in pain, handstanding and crawling forward! He takes the bottom rope! Pablo uses his first rope break of the match just to avoid being locked in The House Special! Cosmo releases the hold, backing away as he sneers at Pablo, smirking. Pablo rubs his legs in pain as he realizes that he’s now at two rope breaks. Yasahiro checks Pablo and the leg to see if he wants to continue, and Pablo is quick to say that he’s not giving up here.

Woo: In order to avoid that House Special, El Pablo gives up a rope break! A strategic move by the Technicolor Tecnico, but will it come to bite him back later in the match?!

Gomez: El Pablo has felt The House Special at the hands of JoJo Rush – and it took him wielding a SCORPION to escape that hold! You better bet that he’s crawling to the ropes for safety!

Pablo is trying to get up, but Cosmo snatches ahold of those legs! Pablo was considering grabbing the ropes, but knows not to force another break and starts kicking with all his might! Cosmo struggles to hold on, and Pablo kicks him away! Cosmo skids away, charging in and Pablo ducks! Cosmo comes back and Pablo tosses him with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors takedown! Cosmo bounces up and Pablo gets him with a dropkick! Pablo rushes over, beating down on Cosmo with palm strikes! Cosmo tries his best to cover up, but that rope break has invoked new found fire in Pablo! Pablo’s leg is still killing him, but he’s riding off adrenaline! Pablo takes Cosmo and irish whips him across the ring with authority! Cosmo is shocked by the aggression of Pablo as he bounces off the turnbuckles off impact, and Pablo tosses him overhead with a back body drop! Cosmo’s eyes bulge out of his head as he soars through the air and goes straight down to the mat. He holds his back in agony as he slowly rises up.. Pablo bounces off the middle rope and leaps into a wheelbarrow position, planting his hands off the mat and tossing Cosmo with an armdrag! Cosmo is slow to get back up and when he does, he pays for it as Pablo snags ahold of the head and the leg!

He looks for that fisherman’s suplex, but Cosmo has it scouted out as he knows what comes after it! He spins out, grabbing Pablo’s head and slamming him down with a russian legsweep! Pablo holds the back of his head, and Cosmo sits next to him, breathing heavily. Cosmo tries his best to not show any signs of wear and tear, as he pulls Pablo up to continue his onslaught. He staggers him with a paintbrush slap across the face.. And then he follows up with a roundhouse kick to the chest! Pablo staggers once again off that kick, but he’s still up and even Cosmo is a bit taken aback by it. Cosmo follows up with another one, and Pablo still remains up! He shakes his head, and Cosmo can’t believe it! He throws another one, but Pablo catches the leg and slams him down with a DRAGONSCREW LEGWHIP! Cosmo yells out as Pablo holds onto the leg! He grabs Cosmo’s wrist and starts to trap it, looking to twist into the Tijuana Crabcake! But Cosmo raises the free leg up and kicks Pablo square in the mouth! Pablo falls back and spits to the mat as blood starts leaking! Cosmo rises to his feet and takes advantage as HE FLIES INTO A KNEE STRAIGHT TO THE JAW! Pablo falls face first and his entire body goes limp! Cosmo may have knocked him out cold! But Cosmo is leaning against the ropes, trying his best to recover instead of JUMPING TO THE PINFALL! But finally he gets Pablo onto his back and makes the cover!

ONE!


TWO!


PABLO KICKS OUT!

Cosmo runs his hands through his hair! He gets a two count, but at what cost?! If he was any earlier, maybe he would’ve had the win there! Cosmo rises, rubbing his knee. He grabs Pablo by the mask and starts bringing him to the center of the ring. Yasahiro reminds him about grabbing the mask and subsequently ripping it off.. Cosmo rolls his eyes as he jams Pablo’s head into his thighs, trying to lift him upside down. Pablo plants his feet into the mat, and Cosmo once again struggles to lift him. Pablo grabs Cosmo’s legs, tossing him overhead with a back body drop but Cosmo rolls into a sunset flip! Pablo back rolls out of it though, and Cosmo quickly rises to his feet! But Cosmo is disoriented and Pablo takes advantage of that as he hoists him up into a fisherman’s suplex! He holds onto Cosmo, rolling backwards into a gourdbuster suplex — Dragonfishin’ connects! Cosmo holds at his torso and back, wheezing out in pain as Pablo rolls him over and makes the cover!

ONE!


TWO!


COSMO KICKS OUT!

Cosmo rolls over, wheezing out in pain. He crawls to the ropes and Pablo follows him, kicking him square in the ribs! Cosmo coughs out, and Dimitri tries his best to keep him aware. He can’t do anything though, as interferences of any kind is far from permitted. Pablo grabs Cosmo up by the hair and nails him with a palm strike to the jaw. Cosmo falls into the turnbuckles and Pablo nails him with another one. Cosmo falls into a seated position and Pablo nails him with an elbow strike to the jaw! Pablo starts throwing nonstop elbows and Cosmo is near defenseless! He leans back into the turnbuckles, gasping for air. Pablo looks around, and points to the top rope. As he starts walking to the corner parallel to the one he’s sitting in, Cosmo rises and shoves Pablo shoulder-first into the ring post! Pablo stumbles backwards, and Cosmo lifts Pablo up for a saito suplex! Cosmo rises to his feet, his veins flaring up. He beats his chest, and stares down at Pablo, muscling him up. He takes his wrist and irish whips him across with authority! Cosmo shows his vertical as he leaps up through the air for the Cash Cow— but Pablo catches the legs and trips him onto his back! Pablo takes the arm and traps it with Cosmo’s leg, flipping over into THE TIJUANA CRABCAKE!

Pablo pulls back as tight as he can, and Cosmo yells out in pain! Pablo is applying torque on the hold, and Cosmo has absolutely nowhere to go! He shakes his head, gritting his teeth as he reaches for the rope with his free hand, but with his arm and leg trapped — it’s seriously limiting his mobility! Pablo continues to pull back on the hold and Cosmo bangs his head on the mat, getting seriously punished by the damage being done here. Finally he starts to scoot his body forward, but Pablo is showing no signs of letting go! Dimitri rushes over to the ropes, yelling at Cosmo to NOT grab it, but Cosmo doesn’t have the proficiency to escape such a hold! Finally, he reaches that free hand out and GRABS the bottom rope! Pablo releases, falling to his fours while Cosmo leans at the bottom rope, gasping for air. Dimitri hangs his head low on the apron as he knows what this means. Pablo looks back to Cosmo tiredly, a chuckle escaping his lips as both men are now tied at two for rope breaks left in this matchup.

Woo: We are now at two rope breaks a piece for Pablo and Cosmo! This might be Pablo’s chance to close in on victory!

Gomez: Pablo was trying to rip Cosmo’s leg off of the bone! How is that not illegal in some sort of way?!

Woo: Cosmo had a chance to escape without using the ropes, but he couldn’t!

Gomez: Don’t you get sassy with me! Clearly Shinijoshi has bribed our most respected official!

Cosmo is still sprawled out against the bottom rope, whimpering in pain from the damage done to his leg and arm. He calls Yasahiro over, who genuinely checks him out of concern. Pablo takes a few seconds to recover, but he realizes that he needs to get back on the attack. He rushes over to grab Cosmo up, but Cosmo pops him with a palm strike to the back of his head! Pablo staggers, rocked by the impact as Cosmo bounces off the ropes immediately and LEAPS INTO THE CASH COW! Cosmo’s feet drive right into the chest and shoulders of Pablo, and bring him straight down to the mat. The back of Pablo’s head bounces off the mat, and yet another blow to the head leaves Pablo near unconscious. Cosmo scrambles over, hooking the legs as he tries his hardest to obtain victory!

ONE!


TWO!


T—PABLO THROWS HIS SHOULDER UP!

With the kick out, Cosmo yells, frustrated! He slaps the mat, looking around. Pablo slowly raises a hand to the sky, trying to work his way up. The three judges look on intently, as Pablo has refused to stay down and gotten under Cosmo’s skin this entire match. Pablo rolls over, trying his hardest to muscle himself up. Cosmo backs into the corner, calling him up! Pablo slowly rises and Cosmo spins into the CASH ROLLS EVER—PABLO DUCKS, TAKING THE ARMS! HE HOISTS COSMO OVERHEAD FOR A DRAGON SUPLEX RIGHT ON THE NECK! Pablo rises to his feet, furiously nodding his head! But Cosmo works his way up and takes the waist! He lifts him for a HIGH ANGLE GERMAN SUPLEX! The suplex takes Pablo down as he’s launched downward on his neck. Cosmo slowly works his way up, but Pablo is starting to show signs of life! Cosmo shakes his head, dragging Pablo up. He goes behind for another, but Pablo plants his feet into the mat! Pablo drop steps behind Cosmo into a standing switch, and TOSSES HIM FOR A GERMAN SUPLEX OF HIS OWN! And Cosmo shows some fire, immediately rising back up as he tries to take Pablo’s head off! But Pablo is up to his feet too and NAILS COSMO ON THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH AN ENZUIGIRI! Cosmo tumbles backwards, falling into the turnbuckles in a seated position! Pablo stares around and grins at the positioning. He climbs the top rope across from Cosmo and glances around the roaring but split crowd.. Pablo shrugs his shoulders and runs along the top rope into THE FIVE STAR EXPRESS! The dropkick lands flush on the jaw of Cosmo and bounces the back of his head off the turnbuckles! Pablo quickly drags Cosmo out of the corner and falls to the cover!

ONE!


TWO!


T— COSMO KICKS OUT!

But despite Pablo’s best efforts, this match STILL lives on! Cosmo is breathing heavily, trying to recuperate. Pablo takes some time after that flashy, but taxing move. Pablo plants his hands on the mat, slowly rising as he looks around. Cosmo reaches up to Pablo’s boot, trying to get up. Pablo stares down at Cosmo and takes him up by the head. He throws down a nasty palm strike to the back of the head, and Cosmo is trying his hardest to stay up after that. Pablo goes for another, but Cosmo nails him with a chop to the throat! Pablo holds at his throat, coughing out as he’s suddenly struggling to breathe and Cosmo takes advantage by lighting up his chest with multiple chops! Cosmo takes Pablo’s wrist for an irish whip but Pablo counters into one of his own. Pablo charges into a calf kick but Cosmo blocks it, forcing Pablo to backflip and land on his feet off impact. As he does, Cosmo leaps overhead to nail Pablo with a GAMENGIRI TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Cosmo rises up afterwards, hoisting Pablo up and planting him right into the center of the mat with a URANAG—PABLO COUNTERS, DRIVING COSMO STRAIGHT TO THE MAT WITH A SPIKE DDT! Cosmo’s head goes straight into the canvas and his body goes with him, as his legs are in the air for just a second, as he slowly folds to the mat. Pablo gasps for air, calling for the fans. Some start clapping for him, while Cosmo is still trying to figure himself out. Fueled by the crowd, El Pablo is getting back up, while Dimitri’s aggressive slaps on the mat are starting to wake Cosmo up. Eventually, both men work their way up and Pablo wastes no time to come straight off the attack with repeated elbows. Cosmo shoves him off and throws a nasty elbow strike of his own! Seeing that Pablo is rocked, HE SPINS INTO THE CASH ROLLS EVER- Pablo kicks Cosmo right in the arm! Cosmo turns off impact, holding his arm as he tries to shake it out. Pablo rushes behind, taking Cosmo’s arms and lifting him overhead for a TIGER SUPLEX! Cosmo’s leg flails in the air, because Pablo ends up bridging it and Yasahiro slides to the cover!

ONE!


TWO!


T—COSMO KICKS OUT!

Pablo holds onto Cosmo’s arms from the hold, rolling him into his stomach! He frees an arm and spins to face Cosmo’s leg, reaching over to lock back in The Tijuana Crabcake! But as he’s reaching for that leg, Cosmo starts throwing the heel of his free leg into Pablo’s head! The top of his head takes a beating, and one more charged up kick forces Pablo to release the hold! He rolls off of Cosmo, holding the top of his head in agonizing pain. Cosmo slowly works his way up, taking advantage of Pablo’s pain. He points at him, raising his leg upwards as he plants Pablo into the canvas with an Axe Kick! Pablo is driven forward into his neck and shoulders on the canvas. Cosmo stares at Pablo hardly moving and nods his head. There’s an opening for Cosmo to win the match, but whether or not he capitalizes is yet to be known. He drags Pablo up and snags a hold of the arms. Cosmo looks around, nodding his head. He tries to slowly twist into the Gold Mine, but Pablo breaks free and takes the waist! He looks for a back suplex but Cosmo lands on his feet! The pain in his knee forces him to a kneel though, and Pablo hits the ropes to his side! TASTE THE RAINBOW— COSMO TOSSES PABLO ONTO HIS STOMACH! Cosmo staggers backwards, in shock at how sudden that match could’ve just ended! Pablo slowly works his way up, and Cosmo tries to spin into the Ready To Die but Pablo has it scouted out and rolls under his leg! Cosmo staggers, backing up and as he looks to turn to Pablo.. PABLO SPRINGSBOARD OFF THE ROPES INTO THE FURRY NINJA STRIKE! The wheel kick lands flush on the back of Cosmo’s head and the stiff impact sounds like bricks connecting with Cosmo’s head, as he immediately goes down and the move invokes a shock reaction from everyone. Pablo nods, seeing his opportunity as he pushes Cosmo over and covers him!

ONE!


TWO!


TH—COSMO THROWS A SHOULDER UP!

What will it take for either of these men to stay down?! Regardless, everyone in the arena comes alive for that one because this match continues on! Cosmo slowly raises a hand to the ceiling, trying his hardest to fight up to his feet. He can’t though, and this gives Pablo an opportunity to steal the win! He takes Cosmo’s arm and leg, dragging him into the drop zone! Pablo turns, climbing up the top rope.. He nods, calling for the RAINBOWLUTIONS PER MINUTE! But Cosmo has a burst of energy as he rolls over and throws his ENTIRE body at the top rope! Pablo falls, crouched on the top rope. Cosmo staggeredly climbs up to the top rope with Pablo, getting up there to the best of his ability. He starts throwing palm strikes to Pablo’s head, and grabs onto it as he attempts to grab him in a front facelock. Pablo shakes his head, repeatedly hitting at Cosmo’s side. Cosmo winces, and Pablo keeps throwing shots! He starts to scoot himself backward, and SLAMS Cosmo’s head into the metal hook connecting the turnbuckle to the ring post! Cosmo leans his head back in shock, and everything shows clearly when BLOOD starts leaking everywhere! Cosmo looks up to Pablo, eyes glazed as his vision is blocked by the red in his eyes! Pablo stares at Cosmo, unapologetic as he swings off the top rope..

..INTO A MEXICAN DESTROYER!!!

THE ARENA COMES UNGLUED AS PABLO AND COSMO JUST FLIPPED THROUGH THE AIR, DROPPING COSMO RIGHT ONTO HIS NECK!

"HOLY SHIT!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

Dimitri Graves is completely blown away, as well as the judges! These are the lengths that these two men are going to win the match! Cosmo hasn’t moved since going down, and Pablo is nursing his knee and his calf! He finally gets it in him to nudge Cosmo over with his head..

ONE!


TWO!


THRE—

THE REFEREE— AND PABLO TOO REALIZE THAT COSMO WAS ROLLED INTO THE BOTTOM ROPE!

Cosmo isn’t even MOVING, but his leg and hand lightly grazes against the bottom rope! Dimitri is screaming at the referee, who almost missed a match ending call! Pablo slowly falls off of Cosmo, exhausted. He stares at him, realizing that he made a mistake he doesn’t usually make. Dimitri shows some concern for Cosmo, as he’s practically barking for him to get back up!

Woo: That was ALMOST it! But a timely mistake by Pablo saves Cosmo! Dimitri Graves is about to blow a gasket!

Gomez: Thanks to Pablo, there’s blood leaking down Cosmo’s beautiful face! He may have gotten the rope break, but he COULD be knocked out!

Pablo is trying his hardest to get back up, but staggers down to a knee. Cosmo’s eyes slowly open as the blood dripping down his forehead to his nose and lips is definitely visible. Dimitri starts shouting to wake Cosmo up, and it occurs to him that he is at ONE rope break, whether he intended for it or not! Pablo starts getting up and Cosmo slowly rolls over. He reaches up to Pablo, still unaware of his surroundings. Pablo drags Cosmo up and looks back to the turnbuckles, scooping him and slamming him right into the drop zone! Pablo points up top again, but Cosmo finds it in him to grab Pablo’s ankle with all of his might! Pablo stares down at Cosmo tugging at his ankle, pulling and shaking it. Pablo starts kicking Cosmo back, and Cosmo rolls away, pushing up slowly. Pablo sees Cosmo refuse to go down and blasts him with a chop to the chest! Cosmo fires back with a chop to the throat, and another chop just like earlier! Cosmo leans Pablo against the ropes and starts firing off repeated knees to the ribs and elbows to the jaw! Cosmo is bloody and hurt, but he’s still got fire and it’s showing! Pablo starts to hold his hands up as he’s getting tired out from each shot – and eventually shoves Cosmo off! Pablo fires off with a big time clothesline! Cosmo doesn’t go down though and throws one of his own!

The clothesline connects but Pablo stays up, and both of these men are using one another to stay up! They start throwing palm strikes at one another, turning into an all out dogfight in the center of the ring! The referee tries to enforce some order in this one but neither one want to go down or give up a victory here! Cosmo tiredly wraps his hands around Pablo’s legs, shooting a sloppy double leg! It gets him down and both men are still trading shots with one another! They roll around the ring, both finally getting back up. Cosmo goes for Pablo’s leg again, but Pablo shoves him away using just his hand and pushing off Cosmo’s head. Cosmo turns back to Pablo who once again charges into Taste The Rainbo– but Cosmo side steps! Pablo lands off the leap attempt for the frankensteiner, but it hurts at his leg! Cosmo goes behind Pablo, grabbing the arms!

Pablo tries his hardest to wiggle– but Cosmo has a tight grip on those arms! He slowly twists him, and as Pablo still can’t get free.. HE GETS DRIVEN RIGHT INTO THE MAT WITH THE GOLD MINE! The impact bounces him backwards as his body rolls away, but Cosmo feels victory in his sights! Dimitri seems to be yelling something at ringside, but Cosmo is too busy hearing ringing in his ears to focus on what he’s saying.. And he scoots backwards to lie on top of Pablo for the win!

ONE!


TWO!



THREE–


PABLO GETS HIS FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!

That’s ONE rope break left for both men, but again it could’ve been over there! Cosmo looks up to the referee in shock at that close call, and it appears that the fans in the Safehouse thought it was over there as well! Pablo clutches the top of his head, just barely surviving one of Cosmo’s toughest moves. He stares at Pablo, in absolute shock that he found a way to kick out of that one. Cosmo slowly rises, pulling Pablo to the center of the ring.. Cosmo steps to the apron, looking around.. He points to Pablo, calling his shot! Pablo slowly works his way up..

AND COSMO FRONTFLIPS OVER THE TOP ROPE INTO THE GOLD RUSH LARIAT–

NO!

TASTE THE RAINBOW CONNECTS! COSMO GOES HEAD FIRST INTO THE MAT! PABLO ROLLS HIM OVER! HE GOES STRAIGHT TO THE COVER!

ONE!



TWO!


THREE!

...

NO!

COSMO KICKS OUT!

Woo: COSMO GOLDWORTHY KICKS OUT OF THE TASTE THE RAINBOW! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!

Gomez: Both of these men have escaped some of their TOUGHEST MOVES! I don’t know what it’ll take for either to win, but the heart of The House keeps beating on through Cosmo!

"THIS IS AWESOME!"

"THIS IS AWESOME!"

"THIS IS AWESOME!"

Even Narumi and Phil seem impressed by the heart of Goldworthy, meanwhile Alastor Grey has a stern look on his face, aware that the kick out means nothing if Pablo still holds the advantage. And while Pablo is exasperated from that kick out, the look on his face TELLS that he planned to bring out his very best moves, and that’s what he plans on doing! He doesn’t hesitate half as much as Cosmo did when Pablo got out of the Gold Mine, and he grabs at Cosmo’s arms and legs, starting to drag him! But as he does, Cosmo swings a leg up, breaking free from Pablo’s grasps and kicking him square in the back of the head! That damage done to Pablo’s head hits like a ton of bricks, as he drops to a kneel. Cosmo rises to his feet, slapping Pablo! The slap rings throughout the building, and Pablo rises and gives Cosmo a slap of his own!

Cosmo staggers, and knees Pablo in the ribs! He hits off the ropes, and Pablo charges with him! Cosmo stops in his tracks, but Pablo is still running and he takes Cosmo down with a bulldog! Cosmo slowly rises off the impact, and Pablo counters a tilt-a-whirl into a DDT! The impact drops Cosmo onto his back, and Pablo is looking around! He nods his head, he wants that Rainbowlutions Per Minute BADLY!

He steps out onto the apron, climbing up the top rope.. But as he’s perched up there, Cosmo charges over and takes the leg! Pablo kicks him back though, and Cosmo falls back onto his ass. Pablo is still trying to steady himself, and Cosmo runs up top with him! He takes the head of Pablo, trying for a superplex!

Pablo resists the lift though, shoving Cosmo off… But Cosmo lands on his feet! Pablo shakes his head, knowing he needs to get him down. He rises and soars through the air into a crossbody – BUT COSMO CATCHES PABLO IN MID AIR WITH A CLOSED FIST PUNCH! There’s a roar throughout the building when Cosmo PUNCHES Pablo in this kind of match, and despite the stern warning from Yasahiro.. That’s ALL IT IS!

The first offense is a warning, and Cosmo waited the ENTIRE match to use it to his advantage! He stares at the knocked out Pablo and quickly muscles him up to his feet, grabbing him in a front facelock! Cosmo looks around and grins, fisherman hooking his leg and tossing him up into the COSMOLOGY! Pablo’s entire body crashes to the mat and Cosmo drops straight into the cover, to the dismay of the few EWC fans in the building – and the applause of the pro-House crowd!


ONE!



TWO!



THREE!

DING DING DING

Dobrev: And your winner, via pinfall ... COSMO GOLDWORTHY!

Cosmo releases the hold onto Pablo’s leg, throwing his arms up in the air. Dimitri Graves takes the EWC United States Championship and slides in with it, handing Cosmo his belt. Toyo Yasahiro checks Pablo’s head and jaw, meanwhile Cosmo celebrates the victory at the top rope, embracing the cheering crowd. He points to Narumi and Phil at the judges table, laughing. “Not a chance in hell that I let you two decide who wins my match!”

While Cosmo celebrates, Pablo is checked on outside the ring and Narumi comes over to help applaud her stablemate for his efforts, and Phil Brooks is quick to give Pablo some respect as well.

Woo: AND AFTER ALMOST REACHING THE SIXTY MINUTE TIME LIMIT MARK, COSMO GOLDWORTHY IS YOUR WINNER! WHAT A MATCH! WHAT A MAIN EVENT! These two men gave it their all, but it was a loophole in the rules that allowed for Cosmo Goldworthy to take advantage at a crucial point in the match and win!

Gomez: Loophole!? The rules are simple! The first closed fist punch is a warning, and all Toyo Yasahiro could dish out was a warning! Cosmo Goldworthy showed amazing discipline and kept his emotions in check the entire match, busting out that closed fist punch at the VERY end when Pablo’s head was already rocked from all the repeated blows!

Woo: Justify it however you want, but it doesn’t seem that the night is over just yet..!

Cosmo stands in the middle of the ring, microphone in one hand, United States Championship in the other. Toyo Yasahiro has cleared out, and it’s just Cosmo and Dimitri standing in the ring. Cosmo nods to the cheering crowd, but tells them to settle down for just a second.

Cosmo Goldworthy: Everyone who was here to see the best goddamn wrestling in the world, live in the FUCKIN’ SAFEHOUSE.. MAKE SOME NOISE!

There’s a loud pop, and understandably so as all of the fans of The House make themselves known. “Too Sweet” chants fill out, as Cosmo looks around.

Cosmo Goldworthy: I’ll show some humility for a second. My match with Pablo tonight was one of the toughest matches of my whole career.. But just like any other hardship I’ve faced in my life? I’m STILL BREATHIN, BECAUSE NOBODY CAN TAKE ME DOWN! But I’ll give him his props.. He came pretty fuckin’ close. But this is the show for The House, the 2023 Faction Of The Year! A faction that dominated everybody to the point that everyone is gunnin’ for us! The House Hunters are gunnin’ for us! The Love Club are gunnin’ for us! And Shinijoshi, upset that we’re no longer in their shadow.. THEY ARE GUNNIN’ FOR US THE MOST! BUT NO MATTER HOW MANY MEMBERS YOU GAIN! AT THE END OF THE DAY, ALL OF Y’ALL GROUPS CAN KEEP GUNNIN’, BUT YOU’RE ALL SHOOTIN’ BLANKS!

Cosmo takes a deep breath, welcoming the loud applause as everyone in the building is firmly on their feet for Cosmo.

Cosmo Goldworthy: But I ain’t beneath a little thing called respect. So before I continue on, I know we’ve just had a little ‘I Respect You’ match, but El Pablo, I respect you. The key rules of this Pure Rules contest is a handshake before and after the contest, and win or lose.. I was always goin’ to shake your hand.

Pablo turns back to the ring, breathing heavily. He holds his EWC Tag Team Championship belt on his shoulder, but slowly nods and makes his way back down to the ring. He limps, sliding in. Despite the controversy of his win, Cosmo steps up to Pablo and holds a hand out.. And like the honorable and pure man he is, Pablo shakes his hand without hesitation. The two share some words, but it seems that Pablo assures him that if they ever have a rematch? This won’t happen again. Cosmo nods, and lets Pablo leave the ring on his own terms.

Cosmo Goldworthy:So with that said, I, on behalf of The House have the grand honor of closin’ out House Party, and I want this to be a night that none of you will ever forget. THE HOTTEST FACTION IN THE WORLD! We have battled through our own shortcomings at the start of the last year.. We have battled through facing one another! But no matter what, championship gold comes to us, as well as the marquee spots all over this company. I don’t know what EWC would be without The House nowadays, but it sure as hell wouldn’t be the same with what we bring to the table.

Whether you like us or you hate us, you’ve gotta recognize us and what we’re capable of. Almost every single brand, we have made our mark on and we have made moment after moment to the point that if the 2023 EWC Honors is all House winners? Then not a single person can be surprised because WE EARNED THAT SHIT! And we know there’s a lot of people coming for our heads– but you can keep trying to chop us down, and we’ll keep getting right back up.

Cosmo twirls the microphone in his hand, and Dimitri leans back, letting Cosmo have his moment on behalf of The House.

Cosmo Goldworthy: And it’s funny to think that on January 18th 2023, Cosmo Goldworthy wasn’t even a signed competitor to the EWC. And here I am, main eventing my first singles PPV match – and not only did I deliver, but I made sure that NO ONE ever forgets who the hell I am again. El Pablo tried, but he didn’t succeed. This will rain on into the 25th season, because I am the UNITED STATES CHAMPION NOW! AND FOREVER!

He raises his United States Championship up high, prompting a loud ovation from everyone in the building. Dimitri claps it up for Cosmo.

Cosmo Goldworthy: So on behalf of JAMIE LOVE! TYLER BRADFORD! BRUCE BOOTH! TORI TAYLOR! CALLUM MACBETH! NEXT LEVEL! HEAT PACKERS! EDDIE DOZIER! CHRIS PAGE! CALLIE CLARK! JOJO RUSH! JACK SEVERN! ALASTOR GRAY! And.. Cosmo Fuckin’ Goldworthy..

THIS! HAS BEEN HOUSE PARTY! A PARTY YOU WILL NEVER FORGET! AND FOR MOST, A PARTY THAT YOU WILL GROW TO WISH YOU WERE INVITED TO.

I raise the flag of The House proudly, and to anyone who’s got a problem with that.. FUCK YOU! BECAUSE IT IS JUST TOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Cosmo removes the microphone from his lips, allowing the crowd to finish it for him.

”SSSSSWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!”

Cosmo throws the Too Sweet up high as he raises his United States Championship up in the air, but a familiar song plays..”Abnormal” by Mutant Monster blares throughout the building as all eyes go to Emiko Okita, arriving from the second level. She twirls her rhinestone bat in her hand, before pointing it at the United States Champion in the ring. Cosmo breathes heavily, standing in the center of the ring as he watches Emiko. She shouts just loud enough for Cosmo to hear her.

Emiko Okita: This season? I’m coming for you! Bat! 2! Face!

Cosmo breathes heavily, welcoming the challenge with Emiko as he still relishes in his victory while she looks on disapprovingly, allowing Woo & Gomez to write the show off.

Woo: What a crazy night this was. Congrats to Cosmo in winning our main event. And The House for going 5-2-2 overall. 

Gomez: Lot to come in this new season, including figuring out who attacked Chris Page! What a wild moment!

Camera cuts to ...

[FN'R]

---

END SCREEN

WARNING: UNAUTHORIZED INTERCEPTION OR RECEIPT PROHIBITED!! 

THIS PAY PER VIEW EVENT IS THE EXCLUSIVE PROPERTY OF THE EXTREME WRESTLING CORPORATION. ONLY BY PAYING A FEE TO A CABLE OPERATOR OR OTHER ENTITY AUTHORIZED BY EWC INC IS THE VIEWER GRANTED A LIMITED LICENSE TO VIEW THIS PAY PER VIEW PROGRAM. THIS PAY PER VIEW MAY NOT BE RECORDED, REBROADCAST, RE-TRANSMITTED OR OTHERWISE DISTRIBUTED IN ANY MANNER WHATSOEVER WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN CONSENT OF EWC INC. FEDERAL LAW PROVES FOR CIVIL PENALTIES AND CRIMINAL PENALTIES AGAINST ANY VIOLATORS


UNAUTHORIZED VIEWERS BEWARE AND BE FOREWARNED!

..................................................................................................................

SEGMENT WRITERS

The House
The House Hunters
RMK
Grizzly Duggan/JoJo Rush
La Espectra
Bruce Booth
Cosmo Goldworthy
M$J
Next Gen
??
Cosmo

..................................................................................................................

MATCH WRITERS

MATCH ONE
WRITER: Jack Severn

MATCH TWO
WRITER: EWC Staff Assistant: Em

MATCH THREE
WRITER: Jack Severn

MATCH FOUR
WRITER: Dominic Sanders

MATCH FIVE
WRITER: Jack Severn

MATCH SIX
WRITER: FN'R

MATCH SEVEN
WRITER: FN'R

MATCH EIGHT
WRITER: FN'R

MATCH NINE | MAIN EVENT
WRITER: Cosmo Goldworthy

..................................................................................................................


RECAP OF WINNERS

CALLUM MACBETH DEBUT MATCH
10 MINUTE TIME LIMIT
Callum MacBeth Vs DOUG IN A BARREL
WINNER(S): Callum MacBeth
...

SPECIAL SINGLES MATCH
20 MINUTE TIME LIMIT
Jamie Love Vs Luke Saito
WINNER(S): DRAW

...

BURIED TREASURE MATCH
NO TIME LIMIT
Captain Morgan Darkwater Vs Jack Severn
WINNER(S): Jack Severn

...

5 MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH
SPONSORED BY OLIVE GARDEN
Eddie Dozier Vs Chris Page
WINNER(S): Chris Page

...

CLUSTERFUCK MATCH
Bruce Booth Vs Cassie Wolfe Vs Aeon Khronos Vs Alexander Umbra Vs Jason Anderson Vs SONYA Vs Aiya Vs Chris Brock Vs ZERO Vs MANY MORE!
WINNER(S): Bruce Booth

...

SPECIAL EIGHT MAN TAG
30 MINUTE TIME LIMIT
The House Hunters (Hiroyoshi Fujinami, Jon Snow, Captain EWC, & X) Vs The House (The Heat Packers & Next Level)
WINNER(S): The House

...

HOUSE RULES MATCH
CHAMPION VS CHAMPION
60 MINUTE TIME LIMIT
TV Champion Marcu Double Dollar Sign T. John Vs Indy Champion & Prime Minister Necklace Holder Callie Clark
WINNER(S): M$J

...

'BATTLE FOR RESPECT' DEATHMATCH
NO TIME LIMIT
Grizzly Duggan Vs Hardcore & International Champion JoJo Rush
WINNER(S): DRAW

...

'AS GOOD AS GOLD' CHAMPION VS CHAMPION MATCH
PURE RULES
60 MINUTE TIME LIMIT
Tag Team Champion El Pablo Vs United States Champion Cosmo Goldworthy
WINNER(S): Cosmo Goldworthy

...

...............................................................................................................…

MVP OF THE NIGHT: Cosmo Goldworthy
MATCH OF THE NIGHT: El Pablo Vs Cosmo Goldworthy

© EXTREME WRESTLING CORPORATION 2024