ZERO Descends Into Hell

[ZERO]

A campfire crackles away, illuminating the dark woods that inhabit a cliffside overlook. The view is stunning; the clear weather and lack of light pollution allow constellations and stardust to be visible in the night sky, reflected in the calm waters of a wide-spanning lake below. Breaking up the beauty of the landscape is a monstrous shape: ZERO, walking into frame with a log and ax in his hand. He drops the log into the flames before taking a seat next to it. He takes in the view for a moment, taking in a deep breath and exhaling in a massive sigh, before he begins to speak.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be strangled into unconsciousness? I'm told by others it's an extremely painful experience, getting your airway crushed as you try with every fiber of your being to get oxygen into your system by any means necessary. As Moises once put it during one of our training sessions, it's a unique type of fear you experience when you lose your ability to breath. I think it's because it's never something you think about; your body does the breathing for you so you can focus on the less important things. So, when you're forced to undertake the task yourself, you panic.

Wanna know what I experience when I'm being strangled into unconsciousness? Peace. Blissful, euphoric, pure peace. I feel myself thinking away thinking, 'this is it, I don't have to live anymore. I can finally leave this meat puppet that I'm forced to inhabit and rejoin the void like I'm destined to.' I've been so entrenched in the downfall of humanity for such a long time, but when I feel myself pass out, I have a moment to get away from all of this noise pollution. I'm finally whole."

ZERO takes in another deep breath as he adds more kindling to the campfire.

"And then … I wake back up. I wake up because some idiot doesn't realize what they've done by showing me mercy. Until the day that someone finally defeats me irreversibly, I will never forgive them for allowing me to live. Vin Havoc will have to deal with me for the rest of his miserable existence. He may defeat me again and again, but I will be the reason he is taken to his tomb, and I'm not giving him any fucking demon blood to resurrect him. And Lavender, oh poor soul, will regret the day she let me breath again. If I wasn't tied up in a match of my own, I'd ensure she never sees that United States Championship match, or any other match, ever again.

Alas, I'm slated to take place in the Iggy Swango Memorial Cup, in the dreaded Hellevator against eleven other poor souls who have no idea what they've signed up for. From rising stars, to former champions, to even a current champion, they all step into this match thinking 'if I win this match, I'll be in equal standing to the dearly departed Iggy Swango'. What they don't realize is that they won't find glory at Wembley. They will only find themselves being consumed by the void as I stand over all of them, stealing history from their grubby little mitts. Like the death we must all come to terms with in our time, the void's victory is inevitable."

ZERO stands up and begins pacing around the campfire. The flames seem to grow hotter and more violent as he takes his slow, hulking steps.

"I'll start with one of my former allies: Bruce Booth. Bruce, if you think I've forgotten that little stunt you pulled at House Party with the body double, you're dead wrong. You and I may have called each other partners at one point, so I'll grant you the smallest smidgen of mercy by taking you out quickly. If you simply jump right out of that Hellevator at the first opportunity, you may return to The House with your life in tact. If you don't, I'll take that little briefcase you carry around with you and break your bones until I can fit everything that remains of you into that stupid case. The recording of that event will probably make more money than any of your shit movies could."

ZERO takes this opportunity to pick up a stone and send it off of the cliff overlook into the drink below.

"I think after I'm done smashing Box Office, I'll move to my fellow sadist, Mr. Caleb Scott. Poor guy was so broken up about not being the last FX Broadcast champion. Tell me, Mr. Scott, how much do you think I care about some title that nobody even fights for anymore? I'll give you a hint, Caleb; the amount I care is in my name. As I'm sure, you'll see me as a target and you'll want to get your offense in as quickly as possible. Maybe you'll try to suplex a monster who outweighs you by over 100 pounds. Well, you can take your entire repetoire and shove it right up your ass! I'll break that little spine of yours and slide your body out of the Hellevator like a curling stone."

ZERO sends another stone to its doom.

"Once I've sent Scott to the concrete, I'll move to someone who won that worthless title twice as many times. Ms. Melinda Rhodes, you sure seem to have an impressive resume to your name. The average person would see those championships and think you're an absolute legend! The problem for you, Melinda, is that I'm not the average person. I could give two shits about the accomplishments of some has-been on her last legs. People have to spend all of their energy to take me down, and I get back up in better condition every single time. You, on the other hand, are held together by Elmer's Glue and prayers. A single forearm from The Void Personified is liable to make that neck of yours explode. Do yourself a favor and stay out of Wembley, then maybe you may live to see another day."

ZERO, instead of a stone, grabs a nearby stick and heaves it end over end into the lake.

"Next up on my little rampage through the Hellevator is the self-proclaimed Oni Princess. Narumi also has quite the resume herself, racking up a few championships here in EWC. Need I repeat myself on my opinions on past accomplishments? Those titles are beyond your little grasp now, and while your stablemate defends her Dynasty championship, you face the unfortunate fate of fighting me. If you think your tiny frame sends any shivers down my spine in fear, you're sorely mistaken. I've eaten pigeons that scared me more than you. I'll divide your spine down the middle without a second thought."

Behind ZERO, we see Moises Ferro and his chauffeur Ricardo walking up a dirt path towards the overlook. We briefly hear "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac playing on a speaker, but after seeing ZERO give a quick glance back, Ricardo quickly pauses the music.

"I'll give my last spotlight to somebody who, I'll admit, might be the hottest new talent here in EWC. Lad, my fellow man with no name, has yet to be defeated and seems to be holding onto his Television Championship with an iron fist. He may be undefeated, but he's not unbeatable. He's done a good job of hiding it, but The Lad's hurting, and no lesson taught to him by Pastor Morales is worth shit when it's put to the test against The Walking Myth. If he thinks he's lived a rough life before, wait until he goes through the torture that I'm capable of delivering. I'll leave his good eye alone; I want him to clearly see his life slipping away as I lift him into the air and smash him over my knee.

As for the rest of the field, if you think yourselves deserving of second thoughts from a man who's rejected the concept of caring, then you're less prepared to face The Void Personified than I thought. Whether you're a Golden Boy, an Iconoclast, a Tragedy, or anything else in between, all will pay the ultimate price. Know this, fellow meatsacks, after I irreversibly ruin your mortal form and you find yourself staring into the sky, you'll indeed see a bright light growing ever closer. But it won't be God coming to bring you to the promised land. It won't be an alien from outer space coming to save the earth. No, it will be an Asteroid, sent from the heavens to bring all existence to a screeching halt.

Prepare yourselves, puppets. ZERO-DAY APPROACHES!"

ZERO exits the scene. Ricardo resumes "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac on his speaker. Moises and Ricardo look to the sky, amazed at the sight of a shooting star blazing across the sky. We zoom back into the fire as we fade to black …